What is Disney policy on intervening when children panic?

[Rip]

And I have stated that all my posts have been based on whether the incident was as dramatic as the OP describes, if so that was unacceptable behaviour in public.

If I had been you and my child had wanted to play laser tag so bad then chickened out I wouldn't have forced him, I would have taken him home then he would have realised what an idiot he had been and that he would NEVER have the opportunity to go again. So sad, too bad, you missed out.

My daughter chickened out going camping with girl scouts (didn't want to sleep outside), I didn't force her. She still regrets it now. She'll think twice about chickening out in future.

And if you had done that with my child, he would have you bent over a barrel by now catering to his whims. As I said, most parents know what is best for their children. I have very good kids, they are very well behaved and very different. My boy is like the raptors in Jurassic Park, though, in that he constantly tests you and if you give him an inch, he'll take more than a mile (he's generally also very sweet and manipulative about it, and has been since he was old enough to walk - no exaggeration). I knew he'd love it, I knew he was simply afraid because it was something different, therefore I decided it was in his best interests to do it. I'm the parent, I get to make that call, he does not. Again, different kids, different situations.

ETA - many times they won't regret it anytime soon because they literally don't know what they're missing. So they just learn that if they act out, they get their way. That's probably why most kids act out in the first place and why my kids never once have. They know it not only will not work, but will result in punishment after the fact.

 

[Phatoomch]

And if you had done that with my child, he would have you bent over a barrel by now catering to his whims. As I said, most parents know what is best for their children. I have very good kids, they are very well behaved and very different. My boy is like the raptors in Jurassic Park, though, in that he constantly tests you and if you give him an inch, he'll take more than a mile (he's generally also very sweet and manipulative about it, and has been since he was old enough to walk - no exaggeration). I knew he'd love it, I knew he was simply afraid because it was something different, therefore I decided it was in his best interests to do it. I'm the parent, I get to make that call, he does not. Again, different kids, different situations.

ETA - many times they won't regret it anytime soon because they literally don't know what they're missing. So they just learn that if they act out, they get their way. That's probably why most kids act out in the first place and why my kids never once have. They know it not only will not work, but will result in punishment after the fact.

Overall I definitely agree with you. I don't bend to my childs whims, never have. But in the situation of the OP, that was over the mark imo.

 

[kandb]

I STILL don't know how anyone on this thread can justify the parent's behavior that the OP described. Maybe this child was scared of giant dinosaurs in the pitch dark that are jumping out at you in the ride. The parent's weren't just trying to "coax" the child on the ride, they were FORCING a terrified, out of control child onto a ride that he did not want to ride. WHY should a parent have the right to do that??? Just because he is the parent? And to the poster (believe it was Rip) said parent's know there children best, that made me chuckle. If these parent's know their child the best they would realize he wasn't ready to ride a "very scary and intense" ride like dinosaur and respect the child's feelings. This case, is clearly Child Abuse. Also, when my children are feeling scared or when they cry, I try to talk to them and hug them and tell them their dad and I are there for them. That is what being a parent is about. The "parents" described in this thread sound like disgusting human beings to me.

 

[eliza61]

The kind of behaviour the OP describes. Yes, we all lose our cool with our kids and shout at them. But what the OP described didn't sound like a parent just losing its cool. Go back and re-read it.

Yes, parenting is very hard I know that. If I had seen a parent losing their cool with their child I wouldn't give it a second glance.

But if I saw a parent physically forcing a child onto a ride in the circumstances the OP describes, damn right I'd question it and even judge them. Part of being a parent is being able to keep your composure.

Where I come from we often say "you need a license to own a dog, why not to have children?"

LOL, this really made me laugh, because I dont' know 1,not 1 parent who can claim they have "kept their cool" all the time. I just got back from freshmen orientation at University of Cincinnati and saw a whole bunch of parents who were two steps from choking the life outta their so called young adults. Guess no one told them they were horrible parents for not keeping their composure.

well then I guess I'm in the group that shouldnt have had kids. because I have lost my composure with my kids, with my husband, with my employees and with my own parents.
**gasp** I force my children to go to school in the cold even so much as forcing them into their car seats. I've forced my kids into dentist chairs, yep while they were screaming at the top of their lungs.
My parents forced me to sit through the movie the birds, while i was terrified of it. who knew that I could take my case to dr. phil

Sorry I need more than 40 secs of time whether I become judge and jury on a perfect strangers parenting skills. Was it a major freaky deaky melt down from everyone. Yep, no doubt. would I acted the same way? who knows. don't know what happen before or after the ride? Am I ready to call child welfare on them? Nope.

 

[KrazeeK120]

And if you had done that with my child, he would have you bent over a barrel by now catering to his whims. As I said, most parents know what is best for their children. I have very good kids, they are very well behaved and very different. My boy is like the raptors in Jurassic Park, though, in that he constantly tests you and if you give him an inch, he'll take more than a mile (he's generally also very sweet and manipulative about it, and has been since he was old enough to walk - no exaggeration). I knew he'd love it, I knew he was simply afraid because it was something different, therefore I decided it was in his best interests to do it. I'm the parent, I get to make that call, he does not. Again, different kids, different situations.

ETA - many times they won't regret it anytime soon because they literally don't know what they're missing. So they just learn that if they act out, they get their way. That's probably why most kids act out in the first place and why my kids never once have. They know it not only will not work, but will result in punishment after the fact.

Being scared or apprehensive about doing something and crying when forced to do whatever that something is is not acting out. It's a reaction to a fear. Many adults have physical reactions (sick stomach, crying, etc.) to fear/anxiety as well.

Acting out, on the other hand, would be throwing a fit over not getting a toy, getting to see a show, etc.

I think the main difference is, is the response appropriate for the situation? Crying is a natural response to being made to do something when you're afraid. Crying is a chosen response to being told, "You can't have that toy."

 

[alice99]

I STILL don't know how anyone on this thread can justify the parent's behavior that the OP described. Maybe this child was scared of giant dinosaurs in the pitch dark that are jumping out at you in the ride. The parent's weren't just trying to "coax" the child on the ride, they were FORCING a terrified, out of control child onto a ride that he did not want to ride. WHY should a parent have the right to do that??? Just because he is the parent? And to the poster (believe it was Rip) said parent's know there children best, that made me chuckle. If these parent's know their child the best they would realize he wasn't ready to ride a "very scary and intense" ride like dinosaur and respect the child's feelings. This case, is clearly Child Abuse. Also, when my children are feeling scared or when they cry, I try to talk to them and hug them and tell them their dad and I are there for them. That is what being a parent is about. The "parents" described in this thread sound like disgusting human beings to me.

 

[Rip]

Overall I definitely agree with you. I don't bend to my childs whims, never have. But in the situation of the OP, that was over the mark imo.

Oh I don't disagree, if it really happened that way. And again, I'm quite sure whatever the case that the OP "saw" what she described. I'm just pointing out that many times what we "see" isn't always what really happened.

 

[Rip]

Being scared or apprehensive about doing something and crying when forced to do whatever that something is is not acting out. It's a reaction to a fear. Many adults have physical reactions (sick stomach, crying, etc.) to fear/anxiety as well.

Acting out, on the other hand, would be throwing a fit over not getting a toy, getting to see a show, etc.

I think the main difference is, is the response appropriate for the situation? Crying is a natural response to being made to do something when you're afraid. Crying is a chosen response to being told, "You can't have that toy."

I never said crying is acting out, just to clarify. My kids do cry at times, they never act out. But, they have an uncanny ability to produce a few crocodile tears if they think it will help out their cause.....

 

[Phatoomch]

LOL, this really made me laugh, because I dont' know 1,not 1 parent who can claim they have "kept their cool" all the time. I just got back from freshmen orientation at University of Cincinnati and saw a whole bunch of parents who were two steps from choking the life outta their so called young adults. Guess no one told them they were horrible parents for not keeping their composure.

well then I guess I'm in the group that shouldnt have had kids. because I have lost my composure with my kids, with my husband, with my employees and with my own parents.
**gasp** I force my children to go to school in the cold even so much as forcing them into their car seats. I've forced my kids into dentist chairs, yep while they were screaming at the top of their lungs.
My parents forced me to sit through the movie the birds, while i was terrified of it. who knew that I could take my case to dr. phil

Sorry I need more than 40 secs of time whether I become judge and jury on a perfect strangers parenting skills.

Seriously, you are being dramatic now.

Yes, keep your composure. I have never lost my cool where it has torn down my composure in public. Yes, I have lost my temper with my child.

Yes, I've forced my kid to go to school because she HAD to.

I've forced her to have a shot at the doctors because she HAD to.

We are talking about a ride in Disney. There is no HAD to when it comes to a ride. And if you are going to physically jerk your kid around and get ugly in their face over a ride then yes, I will judge that.

 

[Rip]

I STILL don't know how anyone on this thread can justify the parent's behavior that the OP described. Maybe this child was scared of giant dinosaurs in the pitch dark that are jumping out at you in the ride. The parent's weren't just trying to "coax" the child on the ride, they were FORCING a terrified, out of control child onto a ride that he did not want to ride. WHY should a parent have the right to do that??? Just because he is the parent? And to the poster (believe it was Rip) said parent's know there children best, that made me chuckle. If these parent's know their child the best they would realize he wasn't ready to ride a "very scary and intense" ride like dinosaur and respect the child's feelings. This case, is clearly Child Abuse. Also, when my children are feeling scared or when they cry, I try to talk to them and hug them and tell them their dad and I are there for them. That is what being a parent is about. The "parents" described in this thread sound like disgusting human beings to me.

This made me chuckle, and proved my point, which made me chuckle again.

You have no idea if it is child abuse because you weren't there, didn't see it, and are reacting to second hand reference. I never said those particular parents were in the right, but this is what I've come to expect from opinion boards. Very little reading comprehension, very little logic, and a whole lot of emotion and opinion.

 

[Rip]

Seriously, you are being dramatic now.

Yes, keep your composure. I have never lost my cool where it has torn down my composure in public. Yes, I have lost my temper with my child.

Yes, I've forced my kid to go to school because she HAD to.

I've forced her to have a shot at the doctors because she HAD to.

We are talking about a ride in Disney. There is no HAD to when it comes to a ride. And if you are going to physically jerk your kid around and get ugly in their face over a ride then yes, I will judge that.

Perhaps you shouldn't, because believe it or not, sometimes, depending upon the child and the situation, it may be what is actually in the child's best interest. I guess I have one of those faces, because there are times when I'm not in the least upset that people think I'm about to rip someone's head off even if I don't say a word. I also have a loud, deep voice. Imagine that combination to a stranger.

My kids, however, don't have the slightest issue with it. Sometimes I have to raise my voice even louder just to get their attention. Many people would probably, and incorrectly, assume I was being verbally abusive. I'm not, I'm just getting their attention. They know it, and they think I'm the greatest dad ever.

 

[Phatoomch]

Oh I don't disagree, if it really happened that way. And again, I'm quite sure whatever the case that the OP "saw" what she described. I'm just pointing out that many times what we "see" isn't always what really happened.

So are we talking at cross purposes then? I'm only saying its wrong with reference to the OPs experience and I'm only referring to the OPs experience. You're also saying its wrong.

What you're arguing against is instances not related to the OPs experience that aren't as they seem.

I'm confused now

 

[Olivejuicy]

I think that the point that Rip is making is that IF that went down exactly as described, that is pretty terrible, however a secondhand account that could possibly have backstory of which none of us are aware should not lead to flat out condemnation of the parents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lypec7N-9i0

 

[Phatoomch]

Perhaps you shouldn't, because believe it or not, sometimes, depending upon the child and the situation, it may be what is actually in the child's best interest. I guess I have one of those faces, because there are times when I'm not in the least upset that people think I'm about to rip someone's head off even if I don't say a word. I also have a loud, deep voice. Imagine that combination to a stranger.

My kids, however, don't have the slightest issue with it. Sometimes I have to raise my voice even louder just to get their attention. Many people would probably, and incorrectly, assume I was being verbally abusive. I'm not, I'm just getting their attention. They know it, and they think I'm the greatest dad ever.

No, I wouldn't judge that. Its the combination of physically jerking the kid around is what would make me look up. The sound of Daddy & the look on his face should be enough

 

[cm8]

I haven't read all of the replies but we did force our 5 year old son to ride Tower of Terror on our last trip. He cried walking through the whole line. Our entire family wanted to experience it together for the first time. My 3 year old daughter walked on with no issue but my 5 year old son cried. We got dirty looks but the CM put us right onto a cart and off we went. He survived and now he can say he rode it. Our policy is try it once and if you don't like it we won't make you do it again. He did Space Mountain and hated it... has never been back on again.

So as long as you all experienced it together it was okay What about the others on the ride

 

[Rip]

I think that the point that Rip is making is that IF that went down exactly as described, that is pretty terrible, however a secondhand account that could possibly have backstory of which none of us are aware should not lead to flat out condemnation of the parents.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lypec7N-9i0

Gracias!

 

[Rip]

No, I wouldn't judge that. Its the combination of physically jerking the kid around is what would make me look up. The sound of Daddy & the look on his face should be enough

I agree, but there are times when, while holding my kid's hand, I've had to raise my voice and give him a little tug. I'm sure some (not necessarily you, don't misunderstand) would consider me "jerking" him. But in reality, I've only pulled his hand enough to get his attention. I have never had to literally pull on him hard enough such that my pulling is what moves him, but giving it a little tug has been necessary on at least one occasion to keep him from trying to slip my hand and run out into a parking lot. Unfortunately, having an inherently loud voice also desensitizes them to said voice.

Again, my overall point is that we shouldn't rush to judgement based on our experiences and opinions.

 

[eliza61]

Seriously, you are being dramatic now.

Yes, keep your composure. I have never lost my cool where it has torn down my composure in public. Yes, I have lost my temper with my child.

Yes, I've forced my kid to go to school because she HAD to.

I've forced her to have a shot at the doctors because she HAD to.

We are talking about a ride in Disney. There is no HAD to when it comes to a ride. And if you are going to physically jerk your kid around and get ugly in their face over a ride then yes, I will judge that.

fine judge away. I have no problem with that what so ever. Your a perfect parent. that's cool

 

[Phatoomch]

fine judge away. I have no problem with that what so ever. Your a perfect parent. that's cool

no I'm not. Wow, you're very black and white. Good luck with that

 

[Phatoomch]

I agree, but there are times when, while holding my kid's hand, I've had to raise my voice and give him a little tug. I'm sure some (not necessarily you, don't misunderstand) would consider me "jerking" him. But in reality, I've only pulled his hand enough to get his attention. I have never had to literally pull on him hard enough such that my pulling is what moves him, but giving it a little tug has been necessary on at least one occasion to keep him from trying to slip my hand and run out into a parking lot. Unfortunately, having an inherently loud voice also desensitizes them to said voice.

Again, my overall point is that we shouldn't rush to judgement based on our experiences and opinions.

Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place