What is Disney policy on intervening when children panic?

[kandb]

What's sad about abused children is that most think, they have the "best" parent(s) in the world (until they grow up and realize otherwise).

 

[Rip]

What's sad about abused children is that most think, they have the "best" parent(s) in the world (until they grow up and realize otherwise).

I suspect you've never met a truly abused kid. Just because they are kids doesn't mean they are stupid.

 

[Phatoomch]

What's sad about abused children is that most think, they have the "best" parent(s) in the world (until they grow up and realize otherwise).

Truly abused children do not think that. They dream of the day when they can finally leave. Hence my husband going into the military at 16yrs old and never looking back.

 

[photo_chick]

Oh I don't disagree, if it really happened that way. And again, I'm quite sure whatever the case that the OP "saw" what she described. I'm just pointing out that many times what we "see" isn't always what really happened.

This was my point way back several pages ago. We all bring our own experiences that affect how we interpret what we see. And memory is also colored by the opinions we form when we witness an event.

 

[luvthemouse71]

Speaking for myself, I'm able to tune out crying children when I have to..therefore a crying kid on a ride isn't really going to bother me. Kids cry, big deal. I think a crying kid is less annoying than some numbskull taking flash pictures on a ride.

 

[Wadecool]

 

[maxiesmom]

The kind of behaviour the OP describes. Yes, we all lose our cool with our kids and shout at them. But what the OP described didn't sound like a parent just losing its cool. Go back and re-read it.

I did just that. And you know what really stands out to me? That the mom in question told the OP that she had no idea what they were going through, with regards to their child's behavior. And that is true. The OP had no idea what had happened before the melt down that she saw. For all we know that child had been in a power struggle with his parents all day long, and this was his final bid to be in charge and run things.

 

[dntd]

This reminds me of my last year's trip! My nephew who was 7 cried on all the rides q's even winnie the pooh! He didn't mind the rides but the q's he screamed like a baby in( we didn't even wait much). He cried through the park, giftshop(he wanted more then what was resonable) and screamed like a baby on the bus really horrible never have I seen a kid like this. I left my sister and nephew at the hotel one day because I couldn't take it anymore, it turned out to be my kids fav day! He also cried the entire 17 hour car ride home! He basically was an unhappy kid for no reason.

 

[shalom]

Truly abused children do not think that. They dream of the day when they can finally leave.

It depends upon the kid's personality. I've known people whose parents did horrific things to them -- even when they recognized what was done to them was serious abuse when it was done to someone else, they would try to defend their parents' actions. They knew that speaking out would get them cut off from the entire family -- not just the abusers -- and they weren't willing to do that. Other kids in the same family did walk, because they had someone outside the family they could rely on or because they just were not as oriented toward those kinds of close bonds.

Also depends on the parent's abuse style. Children of narcissistic parents, who were raised to protect their manipulative martyr-type parents, seem more likely to go that route that kids whose parents were more like a classic bully. And kids whose family always looked good "from the outside," especially if they tried to get help when young and were told the abuse had to be all in their minds, seem to me more prone to go that route out of sheer survival.

We do the abused a disservice when we tell them how they need to react in order to "prove" the abuse. This thread is full of repeated demonstrations that how the kid reacts may not tell you anything about what's being done to them.

 

[Andtototoo]

It depends upon the kid's personality. I've known people whose parents did horrific things to them -- even when they recognized what was done to them was serious abuse when it was done to someone else, they would try to defend their parents' actions. They knew that speaking out would get them cut off from the entire family -- not just the abusers -- and they weren't willing to do that. Other kids in the same family did walk, because they had someone outside the family they could rely on or because they just were not as oriented toward those kinds of close bonds.

Also depends on the parent's abuse style. Children of narcissistic parents, who were raised to protect their manipulative martyr-type parents, seem more likely to go that route that kids whose parents were more like a classic bully. And kids whose family always looked good "from the outside," especially if they tried to get help when young and were told the abuse had to be all in their minds, seem to me more prone to go that route out of sheer survival.

We do the abused a disservice when we tell them how they need to react in order to "prove" the abuse. This thread is full of repeated demonstrations that how the kid reacts may not tell you anything about what's being done to them.

I just wanted to say how important I believe your post is.

It is most certainly FALSE that abused children know they are being abused and that their parents are horrible and abnormal. In my experience with abused children, most of them, in fact, are brought up to think that the fault lies with them ("if I was a good kid, then my father wouldn't have to beat me") and/or think that ALL families are like theirs.

Don't we see that all the time, in far more innocuous ways? People think that their experiences and beliefs are universal. Grown adults who are otherwise rational and intelligent strongly believe that their upbringing was the ONLY way anyone was ever brought up or their job experiences are the only way anyone's ever worked or their financial situations are true for everyone... If adults who've had the opportunity to learn the diversity of life persist in believing their experiences are universal, how much more true is that for children?

 

[Phatoomch]

I just wanted to say how important I believe your post is.

It is most certainly FALSE that abused children know they are being abused and that their parents are horrible and abnormal. In my experience with abused children, most of them, in fact, are brought up to think that the fault lies with them ("if I was a good kid, then my father wouldn't have to beat me") and/or think that ALL families are like theirs.

Don't we see that all the time, in far more innocuous ways? People think that their experiences and beliefs are universal. Grown adults who are otherwise rational and intelligent strongly believe that their upbringing was the ONLY way anyone was ever brought up or their job experiences are the only way anyone's ever worked or their financial situations are true for everyone... If adults who've had the opportunity to learn the diversity of life persist in believing their experiences are universal, how much more true is that for children?

Even when they blame themselves they still dream of the day they can get away - that is why so many children run away. Or maybe my DH is unique ... although I don't think so.

 

[OhioDisneyDad]

This thread has evolved in to a Dr. Phil show and should be closed. It has nothing to do with Theme Park Attractions and Strategies.

 

[shalom]

Or maybe my DH is unique ... although I don't think so.

He's not unique. But he doesn't speak for all abused kids, either.

This thread has evolved in to a Dr. Phil show

Which is pretty much par for the course around here.

But it has certainly drifted from topic.

 

[luvmyguyz]

What's sad about abused children is that most think, they have the "best" parent(s) in the world (until they grow up and realize otherwise).

Exactly.



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[dodukes]

Not Disneys place to have a policy.

FWIW, I have forced my child on a ride before. I never used such language and said he was ruining anything, but DH and I picked him up and got him secured. I got lots of dirty looks, but wish those people could have seen my child's face when he got off the ride. I o ly did it because I knew he would like it...and I was right. I would never do it if I had any doubt.

Havent read all the responses yet but I had my nephew on a couple of rides and well to say he is aprehensive in ALL Rides, but usually (with exception on TOT which he wont get one but still talks about to this day mind you) he tries to start crying on all of them. While I have never had to restrain him to put him o a ride, i sure do make him get one because just like in TT, he was to the point of tears trying to get on TT and sure enough once he was one he had a blast and liked it and talks about going back to it. So I think with some exceptions (like perhaps OP) most people know what their child is like and will "force" them on. I see no big deal.

 

[luvmyguyz]

This is a difficult topic because there is a fine line between encouraging a child to ride and forcing a child to ride.

My oldest son loves most thrill rides (ToT and EE are his favorite rides at WDW, and he tolerated Dinosaur - which he got on willingly, but I don't really think he necessarily enjoyed or would choose to ride again), but he still hasn't mustered up the courage to ride HM, which kind of cracks me up because it isn't even scary (IMO), but my son just does not like the idea of ghosts! On our 1st and 2nd trip to WDW, after viewing HM on YouTube, my son swore he wanted to try HM - even exclaimed how much he just KNEW he would love it. But once we entered the "stretching room"? That was it for him - he freaked out, and we had to leave. I was pretty bummed, but I knew that forcing him on the ride just wouldn't be right because he was genuinely scared.

My younger son is afraid on MANY rides. Our 2nd trip to WDW pretty much ruined him because I took him on PotC and he freaked out. He wasn't even acting afraid when we got on the ride, but he FREAKED in the middle of it - later I discovered it was the teeny little drop that did him in! But before I realized that was the cause (he was 3 at the time and had a lot of trouble communicating verbally - still does, for that matter, which is why he's in a special preschool program, but anyway), he refused to go on ANY ride that had a boat - Jungle Cruise, the Mexico ride, even IASW. Well, I kind of lost my cool with IASW and MADE him ride it. Others may have viewed this as borderline abusive because he was crying quite loudly and I refused to exit the ride. But at this point I did know it was the drop that scared him, and I kept telling him that the ride didn't go "down" at all. Within seconds of the ride starting, he was enthralled with the music and the dolls. And now, as long as he knows a ride won't go "down", he is willing to try it. In this situation, I think I did the right thing as his mom. But it could have backfired on me, and in hindsight, I'm wondering if maybe I shouldn't have forced him - I had just reached that "point" where my frustration level exceeded my common sense - not my finest mom moment.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is my stepfather forcing me to ride the Enterprise at Dorney Park when i was about 11 or so. He was ridiculously annoyed that I refused to go on any thrill rides after he had paid "good money to bring the kids to the park, dang it!!" Forget the fact that I was happy as a clam in the attached water park - I just wasn't getting him his money's worth, apparently. So, he forced me on the ride, and I sobbed the whole time, and to this day that is my most vivid memory of that park. Which is just sad, really. Now, please keep in mind that my stepfather was actually an abusive man - never really to me (unless you count forcing me on that ride!), perhaps because I wasn't his child, but to my stepbrother? It was pretty bad, and I can't tell you how I wish someone had intervened.

So it's when I hear people on this board saying it's their "right" to parent their child any way they see fit, that's when I become concerned. Because yes, as a parent, we have the right to follow our own chosen parenting styles. But where do we draw the line between "our rights as parents" and "our children's rights as human beings"? In my opinion, the story the OP posted is an example of infringing on a child's right as a person, and borderline abuse. I know there are many here who would disagree with me - I guess I would just hope you would put yourself in your child's shoes when deciding whether what you are doing is infringing on their rights. I don't think that is too much to ask. Everyone has the right to enjoy their vacation, that's all I am saying.

 

[emmabemmainc]

I saw pretty much the same thing happen in February. We were getting off Dinosaur and parents were holding down a screaming boy and making him sit in the car. However, in this case, the CM made them get off the ride. While it made me sick to see parents treat their son like that, I was glad the CM stepped in. The boy's cries were awful to hear, too.

 

[kandb]

luvmyguyz--- VERY WELL SAID.

 

[TheAceOfAces]

On the subject of people avoiding rides not because of fear, but because they don't like the feeling: my dad is 53 and hardly goes on anything because of this. He doesn't even go on carousels because he doesn't like the feeling, so it's not a matter of him being afraid of the ride, and he was even that way as a kid.
That said, if there's a kid near me in line who clearly is freely choosing to go on the ride, but starts feeling a little iffy in the line, I don't see anything wrong with saying something to help reassure them. This most recently happened in Disneyland in line for Space Mountain. The group behind me in line was an elderly man with two fairly young kids with him. (The seats on Space Mountain at Disneyland are two to a row, not single file like at Magic Kingdom. That becomes relevant later.) The old man and the boy had been on it tons of times and loved it, but it was the little girl's first time riding it. She kept saying she wanted to ride it, but was also nervous. I mentioned to her about how much fun it is, how you hear music and see the stars, etc. I figured she'd want to sit with one of the members of her group, but she ended up asking to sit next to me, and I heard her laughing the entire time. After the ride let out, the man with them (I'm guessing it was the kids' grandpa) thanked me for helping out, and the little girl started begging him to let her ride again.
The point of that story was basically to demonstrate that I completely disagree with forcing a kid who doesn't want to ride, but I see nothing wrong with encouraging a kid who wants to ride and just starts getting a little nervous. Sometimes that can end up completely making a kid's day.

 

[LongLiveDisney1]

Frankly if my kid started screaming, I would tell them to meet me at the front if they're going to act like a baby. But I'm going to ride..