What 10 hours of street harassment in NYC looks like

[VAfamily1998]

The thing is, it's constant. I work in a business where occasionally I need to be at a bar/club for a show. In that setting, I can't even walk to the bathroom with someone saying something to me. It's irritating.

In the course of just walking on the sidewalk, this woman was 'harassed" once every six minutes. She wasn't (gag) dressed for attention. Just a nice looking, average female, minding her own business.

Men aren't saying this stuff to other men. They don't walk down the street asking other dudes "how are you this morning?"

And if anyone doubts the rape culture of male entitlement in this country all you have to do is look at the video comments, by men.

This is what I said yesterday about the video (and I'm going to let the filter do it's job!)



I know men will disagree but I do think these is a large population of men in America who have some deep seeded hatred of women. And as a woman, that is scary.

Saying "Have a nice evening" is now "rape culture?"

 

[RadioNate]

Saying "Have a nice evening" is now "rape culture?"

No, I said "look at the video comments."

Here's the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A
Read the comments. Tons of men calling her a ***** and beyond while saying they are entitled to act this way.

 

[JanaDee]

The thing is, it's constant. I work in a business where occasionally I need to be at a bar/club for a show. In that setting, I can't even walk to the bathroom with someone saying something to me. It's irritating.

In the course of just walking on the sidewalk, this woman was 'harassed" once every six minutes. She wasn't (gag) dressed for attention. Just a nice looking, average female, minding her own business.

Men aren't saying this stuff to other men. They don't walk down the street asking other dudes "how are you this morning?"

And if anyone doubts the rape culture of male entitlement in this country all you have to do is look at the video comments, by men.

This is what I said yesterday about the video (and I'm going to let the filter do it's job!)



I know men will disagree but I do think these is a large population of men in America who have some deep seeded hatred of women. And as a woman, that is scary.

There are plenty of women that have some deep-seated hatred of men.

 

[wilkeliza]

I know I have experience a few cat calls loving in NYC. The ones I couldn't stand was a guy who stood by my subway stop and every morning no matter what I was wearing he would say "God blessed you mommy" in a very dirty tone. I'm sure people would just pass it off as him being kind but when you know what this man meant it makes you feel disgusting. The other issue are the men who just say hello or how you doing and when you either don't respond or say something back but don't continue after a rude gesture or comment is made they spit at you, call you lesbian or *****. It really messes with your head to experience that.

 

[VAfamily1998]

No, I said "look at the video comments."

Here's the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A
Read the comments. Tons of men calling her a ***** and beyond while saying they are entitled to act this way.

Ok...when you said that I thought you meant the comments made by men IN the video.

Looking at the comments ABOUT the video, I'm actually seeing a lot of racist and anti-Semitic remarks and I just can't stomach reading any further to find the rape culture ones.

 

[RadioNate]

There are plenty of women that have some deep-seated hatred of men.

I don't know any woman who has told a man to "get raped."

Read the video comments, on the you tube page. I linked it. The reactions, from mostly men, are scary.

They blame her for what she is wearing, ask her 'well then they how are they supposed to flirt with her' as if they are entitled to flirt with her while she is simply walking. They say she wants attention and that men will be men. It is scary to see that attitude out there.

 

[JanaDee]

I don't know any woman who has told a man to "get raped."

Read the video comments, on the you tube page. I linked it. The reactions, from mostly men, are scary.

They blame her for what she is wearing, ask her 'well then they how are they supposed to flirt with her' as if they are entitled to flirt with her while she is simply walking. They say she wants attention and that men will be men. It is scary to see that attitude out there.

No thanks. I don't need to read the comments to know what they say.

But some women think that any man that dares talk to them has some evil, creepy intent, regardless of what they say or how it is said.

Generally speaking, it seems that for some women, men can't do anything right.

ETA: I don't know any man that has told a woman to "get raped".

 

[moon]

I have to wonder...has cat calling or oggling a woman in this manner EVER worked?? Has a women ever stopped and turned to one of these prince charmings and just been like "SWOOOON! THIS is what I've been looking for!"

Gross. I've had this kind of "attention" thrown my way and it is unnerving at best and in some cases very threatening.

They don't do it to get women...they do it to impress the other men who are watching. That's what I think, anyway

 

[bellanapoli]

The video was really quite interesting to see and I too am really disturbed by the comments made by men.

It's the "smile" comments that really got to me. I can't tell you how many times I've personally heard that one. Drives me nuts.

I can see how there might be a knee-jerk reaction to say that comment really isn't harrassment. But honestly, though, what's the point of making it? Why does it matter to anyone but me whether I smile or not? Am I not entitled to have a bad day? I'm not here to just to give you something pleasant to look at. Seriously, drives me nuts.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I am sure most guys have never had that experience, because people don't do that to men.

I doubt it's anywhere near as frequent, but oh yeah it happens. Shoot, even a couple times to me at Disney

 

[aprilgail2]

It's certainly not limited to cities. I live in NYC now, but grew up in a smaller college town in the South and would get comments constantly. .

My 14 year old daughter goes to NYC with friends all the time and says she feels safer walking in the streets there than she does in our suburban town. She hate walking down the road to a friends house because she says "you have no idea how many cars beep at you, yell things at you and pull over in front of you like they are waiting for you when you walk around here, this doesn't happen to us in the city!"

 

[wilkeliza]

My 14 year old daughter goes to NYC with friends all the time and says she feels safer walking in the streets there than she does in our suburban town. She hate walking down the road to a friends house because she says "you have no idea how many cars beep at you, yell things at you and pull over in front of you like they are waiting for you when you walk around here, this doesn't happen to us in the city!"

What part of the city does your 14 year old go to? Go to the Bronx or Harlem or out to Queens or Brooklyn and you will get it. In The touristy areas it doesn't happen as much but even where I am (Nomad area) I get it and that is only 20 blocks south of Times Square.

 

[GaSleepingBeautyFan]

I saw it. I am extremely disappointed in the male race after watching it. What a bunch of jerks.

A woman should be able to walk down the street alone and not be harassed.

 

[rigs32]

I work in a stressful job, once dominated by men, but now more equal between the genders.

I get told to smile - in work settings - quite frequently by men. My usual response is to ask them the last time they told a man to smile. I'm not a jerk about it, but I let them know I am not there to look pretty for their enjoyment.

 

[msjprincess]

What part of the city does your 14 year old go to? Go to the Bronx or Harlem or out to Queens or Brooklyn and you will get it. In The touristy areas it doesn't happen as much but even where I am (Nomad area) I get it and that is only 20 blocks south of Times Square.

I used to work to work in the Garment District and it happened every day.

 

[aprilgail2]

What part of the city does your 14 year old go to? Go to the Bronx or Harlem or out to Queens or Brooklyn and you will get it. In The touristy areas it doesn't happen as much but even where I am (Nomad area) I get it and that is only 20 blocks south of Times Square.

They go to Greenwich village area and I know they are always around the flat iron building. They go all over looking for vintage clothing stores and to some big used book store. She doesn't say it does not happen but it happens more out here in the suburbs to them than it does in the city.

 

[suzannen]

My 14 year old daughter goes to NYC with friends all the time and says she feels safer walking in the streets there than she does in our suburban town. She hate walking down the road to a friends house because she says "you have no idea how many cars beep at you, yell things at you and pull over in front of you like they are waiting for you when you walk around here, this doesn't happen to us in the city!"

I can sort of understand what she means. I worked in both the Rockefeller Center & the Madison Square Park areas & was harassed in both, but felt much more fear when living in the suburbs of Long Island & had comments made & cars pull in front of me & the streets were often deserted. But, that perception may also be jaded by the fact that I had a real stalker there, a person I did not know, & had to get the police involved. (Although it turned out to be a former cop working as a security officer in my apartment complex). And, as there are so many other people on NYC streets with you, you do feel a little like there is a bit of the "safety in numbers" protection.

Actually, that's why I probably overreact to stories like this.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I work in a stressful job, once dominated by men, but now more equal between the genders.

I get told to smile - in work settings - quite frequently by men. My usual response is to ask them the last time they told a man to smile. I'm not a jerk about it, but I let them know I am not there to look pretty for their enjoyment.

My boss tells me that all the time - we're both male.

 

[Planogirl]

I don't see anything wrong with just hello or hi in a normal tone but the rest of it is creepy. Some guys really think highly of themselves.

 

[JenM]

I may be the only one, but "have a nice evening", "how are you this morning", and a few others, I personally do not consider this harassment. Sure, you may not want to hear anything from anyone, but harassment Sure, these sentences may lead to more that could be considered harrassment (by me), but those sentences themselves would not bother me.

So, is no one supposed to say anything to anyone anymore???? (That's a lot of "anys" )

Because when you don’t answer them, they usually call you names. I’ve worked in NYC for 18 years, and believe me, they are not trying to be friendly, they are trying to get your attention so they can ogle you some more. They’re not really interested in how your evening is, they want another look at that skirt.

It’s happened to me, it’s happened to my friends. We don’t like it. We don’t need to be told to smile, and we shouldn’t be forced to stop what we’re doing to answer them just so we don’t have to put up with the consequences that usually follow when we don’t.

I loved what Jessica Williams said on the Daily Show a few weeks ago. “My walk to work is not a performance, it’s not a red carpet, and it’s not a fashion runway. So guys, please learn some impulse control, because we’ve got (bleep) to do.”