Wedding payment update...

[California Girl]

thought i'd resurrect this subject. i played at a wedding in sept, first weekend. the check that was given to me for playing bounced. i posted about this and got some interesting feedback. i decided to let it go, but i just thought i'd throw it back out there for the sake of discussion.

there has been no mention of this from the check writer or her now husband. he is on staff at church. i have seen him often, and nothing. i have not mentioned this myself to anyone.

as an aside, there has been no thank you note for the gift i gave either. i know this shouldn't bug me but the groom's dad is a lawyer, he has a college education, and i know the girl works full time. i find it hard to believe that there has been no notice from the bank about the overdraft, but i do know people who ignore those things. it's never been about the money, it's the principle of the thing now.

 

[MareQ]

I think you should mention the check. As for the thank you note - it's only been 2 months.

 

[poohandwendy]

That is a shame, but obviously they don't have enough scruples to do the right thing. I would just let it go.

 

[floridafam]

I would mention the check and be a little miffed about the thank you note. My thank you notes went out within 2 weeks-that was my cut off.

How much money are we talking here? I would have to say something.

 

[Hedy]

I'd mention the check-I know a check we wrote for the singer at my father's mass bounced because it was written out of a wrong account, a lot of things on our minds...

 

[floridafam]

Were you charged a fee by your bank?

 

[laura001]

thought i'd resurrect this subject. i played at a wedding in sept, first weekend. the check that was given to me for playing bounced. i posted about this and got some interesting feedback. i decided to let it go, but i just thought i'd throw it back out there for the sake of discussion.

there has been no mention of this from the check writer or her now husband. he is on staff at church. i have seen him often, and nothing. i have not mentioned this myself to anyone.

as an aside, there has been no thank you note for the gift i gave either. i know this shouldn't bug me but the groom's dad is a lawyer, he has a college education, and i know the girl works full time. i find it hard to believe that there has been no notice from the bank about the overdraft, but i do know people who ignore those things. it's never been about the money, it's the principle of the thing now.

If the payment was not for a large amount I would probably just let it go also, they have to know about it and if they want to be that way, they have to live with themselves.

As far as the thank-you note.........well.....I have received notes close to a year after the wedding, most are usually about 4 months after. It is a pet pieve of mine, I can tell you that when my children are married those darn notes will be done within a couple of weeks of being home from their honeymoon, if I have to stand over top of them to get it done. I think it is just plain rude not to do them right away.

 

[California Girl]

i was charged $10 from my bank for the processing fee. i am not very confrontational at all...one of my biggest shortcomings. my frustration has a lot to do with the irresponsibility of this couple.

 

[floridafam]

I would walk up to the groom and ask him next time you see him-he may not even know.

I would ask if you can expect payment and base your response on what he says. If it is just a mistake, then you'll be glad you asked. If he or she is confrontational, then I would say that you, as a professional, expect to be paid and reimbursed for your bank fee.

How much are you owed?

 

[Luv'sTink]

For all the people who said "let it go" if your paycheck bounced would you just "let it go?" She did a job and should be paid for the job she did.

I wouldn't let it go, I would either talk to them about it or I would try to cash the check again (if the bank didn't punch out the acct #) Go in person to cash the check, if the money is in the acct. you can get it right then.

 

[MareQ]

If the payment was not for a large amount I would probably just let it go also, they have to know about it and if they want to be that way, they have to live with themselves.

As far as the thank-you note.........well.....I have received notes close to a year after the wedding, most are usually about 4 months after. It is a pet pieve of mine, I can tell you that when my children are married those darn notes will be done within a couple of weeks of being home from their honeymoon, if I have to stand over top of them to get it done. I think it is just plain rude not to do them right away.

What's "right away" to you? Around here - it's unheard of to send out a thank you note without a small picture of the bride and groom at the wedding enclosed. Those pictures take time. It took 3 months for my thank you note pictures to come in. I had been writing my 250! thank you notes while I was waiting for the pictures and had only finished writing all of them the week before the pictures came in. The soonest I have ever gotten a wedding thank you note was 2 months after the wedding and that was for a SMALL wedding.

Personallly as long as I already know my gift and my presence at the wedding was appreciated then I couldn't care less about a thank you note. I open them - read quickly - remove the picture then promptly toss the note.

 

[chris1gill]

If I may ask, how much was the check for?


Now, if it were me, you KNOW I'd march myself right over there and tactfully tell them their check bounced, I was charged a bank fee, and when could I expect payment? All very nicely of course... I'd say something like "I don't know if you changed accounts or deposits when you got married, but the check I have from your wedding date has come back from your bank due to a funds problem. I was also charged a fee. When could I be paid?

Meanwhile I'd be fuming, but I'd be diplomatic about it until they weren't diplomatic, then my claws would come out LOL....

 

[poconoboatniks]

I was cookie mom for my dd's troop and had this same situation with Girl Scout cookies. (Do you believe it?) I gave a copy of the bank notice to the Mom and told her that I expected payment in cash or money order. I added to returned check fee to the amount I was expecting from her. I got the money, but no apology.


Good luck!

 

[hlbtimes2]

Have you tried taking the check back to the bank to see if it will now clear? Usually, you can call the bank and ask if there are funds to cover it. They are probably embarrassed and are hoping it will just be resolved by you cashing the check. I probably would just "eat" the $10 cost from the bank.

 

[California Girl]

the check was only $30. i played with another musician briefly during the candlelighting ceremony. probably less than 5 minute, though we did meet to practice. i wasn't even expecting anything and wouldn't have said a word if all i had gotten was a thank you note. these aren't just acquaintances on the groom's side, they are friends, people with whom i've socialized, not close enough to mention it casually, but also not distant enough for them not to feel really bad if it's brought to their attention. i am speaking in generalities since i am closer to the parents of the groom than i am to the couple. it's all really weird and i'm torn between letting i bother me for such a small amount, and feeling like these kids need to learn some responsibility, but it's not my job to teach them that. the weird thing is, i'm even afraid to mention it to the other musician i played with. maybe his bounced too, but i'm afraid to mention it...what if he says, oh, i gave it back. i didn't expect anything anyway.

 

[Pam]

Have you tried taking the check back to the bank to see if it will now clear? Usually, you can call the bank and ask if there are funds to cover it. They are probably embarrassed and are hoping it will just be resolved by you cashing the check. I probably would just "eat" the $10 cost from the bank.

That is what I would do.