Wedding cancelled, who pays for bridesmaid dress?

[already]

Personally, I think it is tacky as a bride to make the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. It should be a cost of the wedding that the bride takes into account when they decide how large of a bridal party they should have.

I agree with you wholeheartedly. My party, my expense.

I had 7 bridesmaids and paid for all their dresses, shoes and accessories. DH paid for the tuxes for his groomsmen.

We cut back on a few things such as shaving a couple of days off the honeymoon to be able to afford it.

However, that is just my preference. I recognize that not everybody has the same ideas. If a bride cancels a wedding and we were buying our dresses, I would never, ever expect them to buy the dress back from me or pay it off. I had agreed to buy the dress when I agreed to be in the wedding. I had complete control over my decision when I was asked to be in the wedding party, so I would not then expect the bride to pay if the wedding was canceled.

 

[JanaDee]

Personally, I think it is tacky as a bride to make the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses. It should be a cost of the wedding that the bride takes into account when they decide how large of a bridal party they should have.

I've never heard of a bride that pays for the bridesmaid dresses. Why would she? When you are asked to be a bridesmaid, you know that includes the cost of the bridesmaid dress.

 

[JennaDeeDooDah]

I'm going to to out on a limb here, and say that roughly 99.9% of bridesmaids pay for their dresses - I've never heard of the bride paying. They always have the option of saying no when asked to be in the wedding.

I didn't pay for my bridesmaids dresses (I did pay for my niece's flower girl dress), but I had them pick them out (since they had to pay for them and wear them).

I did the same thing with my bridesmaids. I picked out a color and had my bridesmaids go to the store and pick out a dress that they liked. It worked out well for me, too, because I didn't have to try to get a dress to look good my petite 5'2" best friend who is likely a size 2, my sister-in-law who is 5'9" and plus sized, and everyone in between. They all got something that they would feel comfortable in.

I, too, have never heard of a bride paying for her bridesmaids dresses. Not once ever. I was in a wedding once where the bride gave us our jewelry as our bridesmaid gift, but we paid for the dress, the shoes, and getting our hair done. Everyone I know of who has been in a wedding paid for their dresses. I'd never heard of anything different until the dis.

 

[meajuly5]

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses, hair, makeup etc. They wore their own jewelry. I paid for travel expenses of my one out of town bridesmaid.

They threw me a lovely shower

 

[wallawallakids]

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses, hair, makeup etc. They wore their own jewelry. I paid for travel expenses of my one out of town bridesmaid.

They threw me a lovely shower

I think this is a very nice thing to do and kind to your friends but I do not think it is the norm, nor do I feel it is expected.

 

[Burnedout]

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses, hair, makeup etc. They wore their own jewelry. I paid for travel expenses of my one out of town bridesmaid. They threw me a lovely shower

Same here. I bought the dresses because my mil brought back some beautiful silk from china. The bridesmaids chose the style they wanted and we had them made. I've never had a bride pay for my dress when I've. Ee. In weddings and do t think it is tacky to have the bridesmaids pay. I am just one of those people who chooses to always pay my own way. It is my comfort zone.

 

[Earstou]

My dd paid for the bridesmaid dresses, out of the budget we gave her for the wedding, (any leftover money was for her honeymoon, so this meant less money for them). She only had 2 bridesmaids, who were both in college. She didn't want them to decline because they couldn't afford the dresses.
But she is very non-traditional!!
Her wedding registry consisted of charities people could donate to!

 

[AwaitingMagic]

I cancelled our wedding (we eloped - we were sick of the drama). We had paid deposits on my dress and the bridesmaids had paid deposits on theirs. I paid everyone back their deposit and we left the dresses at the shop - but we didn't have to pay the balance.

 

[mjkacmom]

I paid for my bridesmaids' dresses, hair, makeup etc. They wore their own jewelry. I paid for travel expenses of my one out of town bridesmaid.

They threw me a lovely shower

I paid for the jewelry (I bought them pearl earings). Most of them did their own hair and makeup - I didn't dictate a style.

 

[rottiemom]

I've never heard of a bride that pays for the bridesmaid dresses. Why would she? When you are asked to be a bridesmaid, you know that includes the cost of the bridesmaid dress.

I think that it may be a regional/cultural thing...like the debate between do you give cash or a gift at a wedding, the open bar debate, etc.

For my wedding I paid for the wedding party's dresses. I think my husband covered the tux & kilt rental but I don't remember. It never occurred to me to do otherwise. The girls were standing up for me. But my dear maid of honor was shocked when I paid for her dress because she had never expected it.

Recently my husband best friend got married. My husband was the best man and our son was the ring bearer. There were very exacting standards about what the groomsmen would be wearing, we had to buy red keds for them to wear, select a specific tux with exact accessories (that ended up ultimately not being worn). I grit my teeth and paid for everything. I knew that we'd have to when they agreed to be in the wedding (though honestly, how do you refuse?)

To the OP, I agree with those that suggest picking up the dress and asking the dress shop for options or suggestions. If they have none to offer then try the consignment shop route. As a full figured female I would be beyond delighted to find something that I could actually fit into as opposed to the usual size tiny.

 

[meajuly5]

I think this is a very nice thing to do and kind to your friends but I do not think it is the norm, nor do I feel it is expected.

They didn't expect it or ask for it. I have been in many weddings and paid for my own dresses. Disliked each one and would never wear them again but was honored to have been asked and didn't mind paying. That being said, I felt like if I could pay, I should bc I doubt they would have chosen to buy what I asked them to wear or would likely never wear it again. ( I think they looked great tho!)

 

[Kellydelly]

DD was asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding in June. A few days ago she received a group text from the bride saying that the wedding is cancelled but the bridesmaid dresses need to be paid for and picked up at the bridal shop. The dress was $165.00 and DD still owes $65.00. The dress is not something she will wear plus she was pregnant when it was ordered and they made her order a much bigger size so the dress will need altering if she ever would wear it. I know being in a wedding is expensive, and that when you agree to participate you are agreeing to the cost. Now that the wedding is cancelled is it fair that the bridesmaids have to pay for a dress that they will not be wearing? She does feel bad for the bride but $165.00 is a lot to pay for a dress that she does not want, does not fit and she probably will never wear.
What do y'all think?

I haven't seen any responses that maybe the bride will change her mind (or the groom, whoever decided to cancel things) and all of this could be a moot point anyway. Or why not all the girls just get their dresses and put them in the back of their closets for when this young lady actually does get married. That is assuming it's not the groom's relatives or friends in the bridal party. There are many options. I wouldn't jump into any decisions about the dress hastily.

I do personally think the bride should pay all the girls back if there really isn't going to be a wedding. That is the right thing to do. Unless the dress is really sleek and not a bright color, the chances of them selling it, using it, or getting anything out of it are slim.

 

[AudreyKThompson]

I wouldn't expect my bridesmaids to pay for a dress that is no longer needed. I paid for my bridesmaids dresses when I got married anyway, because I thought it was the right thing to do. I asked my close friends to stand with me because it was important to me that they be there. I didn't think they should be honoured I asked them, I was honoured they said yes! I made it as easy and inexpensive for them as possible.

This! I paid for half of my bridesmaids' dresses (all for one who couldn't afford it) because it was important to me that they be in my wedding.
As the bride I wouldn't want to put my friend in this situation. I'd do what a pp had experience with- if the bridesmaids want the dress, great, pay for it. If not, I would work something out with the bridal shop about the remaining balance, resale, etc. Might not get the $100 back, but certainly wouldn't ask friends to pay more.

OTOH, that is just how I would handle it. It is certainly accepted practice to have bridesmaids pay for their own gown, which is essentially what this bride is asking her friends to do- whether the wedding was cancelled after you pay $100 and then you pay $65 and don't wear the dress is not substantially different than paying $165 and the wedding being cancelled the night before and you don't wear the dress. The bridesmaids can choose to a) lose the deposit and not pick up the dress b) pay the $65 and either keep or sell the dress elsewhere or c) work with the dress shop for a refund of some sort.
The above scenarios do not tarnish the bride in my opinion, or her friendship with these women.

 

[LisaInNc]

Having been a bridesmaid with some truly awful dresses (and one pillbox hat WITH veil ) I would say that is the bride had to cancel her wedding she is probably going through a lot and why quibble with a friend over 65.00? I wouldn't for 165.00.

Lisa

 

[bittybabygrower]

I lost a friend over this! She picked out over $200 dresses (they were kinda red ruffly not to be worn again kind) and she called off the wedding. Three of us were still in college and really didn't have the money to spare. She never even offered to pay even half. Was like, oh well. Inwas out of state and never picked the dress up and she was called and billed. She never spoke to me again, even when I offered to pay half.