Very sad, please cheer me up! UPDATE!!!

[Pete's Mom]

Pete has had a very hard time adjusting to Kindergarten. He gets very upset and clingy when I drop him off in the morning. This really has me perplexed because he has been going to pre-school since he was about 3 months old. When I do the curbside drop-off (teachers escort them in) he acts as if I am pulling over on I-85 and leaving him alone on the median. When I take him inside, it is worse and I have been late for work just about every morning.

I have had several pep talks with him and thought that things were getting better until today. My son's teacher called me at work and said that she had been concerned that Pete had a bladder problem because every morning since school started he had been asking her if he could go into the bathroom (each class had its own) . She said he had been going like 10 times in 20 minutes!

She said that she finally got worried about him and peeked in. HE GOES TO THE BATHROOM TO CRY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T LIKE SCHOOL AND HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO SEE HIM CRYING!

My heart is soooo breaking. It been three weeks now and it is not getting better! It breaks my heart picturing him crying in the bathroom all alone

 

[JohnTBap]

{{{HUGS}}} for you. It's so hard, isn't it?

 

[C.Ann]

Oh man.. Now I'M crying.. Makes me think about my soon-to-be 4 year old granddaughter and when she cries about something.. It literally TEARS my heart out so I can just imagine what you're going through..

I didn't have those problems with my kids so I really have no advice to offer..

All I can offer is a HUGE hug! I hope things get better real soon..

C.Ann

 

[Deb in IA]

Poor baby!!

Can you talk to the teacher and find out what is going on in the class? How does the teacher treat Pete? How do the other kids treat him? Does he have friends in his class? Anyone he knows from pre-school? Is there a bully? How did the teacher handle his crying (other than calling you; did she comfort him?)

What kind of a teacher is she? A warm, cuddly type, or a strict disciplinarian? Does she warm up easily? Are other kids having this type of problem?

I hope things get better for Pete (and you) . . .

 

[Serena]

Pete's Mom, there is very little you can do to help him adjust. He has to decide to.
When I worked at the daycare most kids were adjusted within a month. A couple went over. But he will adjust.

My Kelsea is another matter. I think she took 3 years to adjust.
It took a field trip to the track for High Honor roll students to break her out of not wanting to go to school.

Since she wasn't on HH, she couldn't go. She's been on HH almost continually since.

 

[Lars624]

Here is a {{hug}] for you. I know exactly what you're going through.

 

[nhrenee]

Hi Pete's Mom. That must be so tough for you. I wish I had some words of wisdom for you, will a cyber hug help? Hang in there!! Pretty soon he'll be bringing home a macaroni necklace for you to wear to work!

 

[tiggerlover]

This breaks my heart, I am so sorry that Pete is having such a hard time adjusting to kindergarten. {{{BIG HUGS}}} for you mom, because I know your heart is breaking.

I am sure you have talked to Pete about this, what does he say he doesn't like about his new school, what is making him sad? Maybe a conference with the teacher and Pete my help, but then again maybe it won't. My DS was accustomed to pre-school too and had a difficult adjustment when he started kindergarten, my heart was so heavy every day dropping him off at school. I relate DS's experience to that of an 8th grader entering HS, in pre-school DS was big man on campus and everyone knew him and he knew all of the routines, then he went to kindergarten and it was like the first day in HS, a great big new school that you aren't familiar with and people you don't know and totally different routines. For us DS finally got adjust after two weeks or so. I wish I had an answer for you, but I am afraid I don't. You will be in my thoughts though and I hope all turns out okay real soon.

 

[mamajoan]

I do so agree very strongly with Deb..

I wonder what the difference is between the pre school and the Kindergarten? Can you name any.. ?
I bet he was a "big guy" at the pre school,, with old friends and a sort of clique... is there anyone from the preschool at the kindergarten? Would a picture of you in his pocket help? Jake used to keep one in his backpack... I don't think he even remembers this now that he is 15..

The macaroni necklaces and painted paper plates.. ah memories.
and you will have happy ones too....

{{hugs}} for you and Mr. Pete too!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So sorry for you and your son...{{{BIG HUGS}}} I have a dd who started K too this year.
Since you need cheering up and some positive pathways, how about opening lines of communication up with the teacher and create a reward system at home for your son. I don't know like he earns stickers or something when he doesn't cry at school/joins in or ???, I am sure the teacher can fill in that blank. Things can get worked out more efficiently if you enlist her help.
The best part of this is that all of you will feel better!!!

 

[DVCajun]

Wow, that's rough.

If he has attended the same preschool all of his life it could just be the stress of such a big change. You might try talking to the school counselor.

 

[Cindy B]

Well, I did daycare for years... and I 've seen it as well. The kids adjust they do. I've seen kids do that, and they are fine within minutes. As for the bathroom problem, he may be just scared. My daughter does that too, when she is scared.

Was he at the same preschool for those years? Its just something new.

My daughters kindergarten do NOT let the parents walk the kids in! It just sort of prolongs it.( and makes people late for work)

A reward system would do wonders.


My daughter is going for her first day on the bus today, we will see what happens! But the other day at school, she was saying " Mom you can go now!" Really, things will get better.

 

[helenabear]

I wish I could give you some words of advice to help you, but I don't have kids so I can't. My heart is breaking for you both. Big {{{HUGS}}} to you both and I just hope whatever is making him cry goes away/gets better/gets fixed soon!

 

[JasonLyons]

you are such a mean mom , lol, all kids go thru that stage soon he will cry because your picking him up to early

 

[amid chaos]

Poor baby, poor you!

I hope that having the teacher find him crying in the bathroom tugged at her heart and she will be more aware and give him some extra time.

 

[Tony-NJ]

We used to have a kid who cried every day for his mommy almost all through Kindergarten! I bet he'll soon realize that he can have some fun with the other kids and will be OK.

 

[Lynn CC]

Wow, 3 weeks is a long time to be unhappy for a little one.
It sounds like somethings not right. Maybe you could volunteer a couple of times just to see what's going on, or what isn't going on.
Maybe the teachers not keeping them busy enough. My DS had one of those teachers in Kindergarten. He hated it. She didn't let them make a mess at all, she did the SAME repetitive boring routine with them ALL year long.
I used to go in a couple of days a week and she would have me take the kids out to the playground as long as I wanted...she didn't go out because of her "allergies". So the other days those kids had to stay in unless someone else went in to take them out.

I compared her routine to the other kindergartens and they did a learned soooo much more. I think she was just waiting to retire and couldn't have cared less about any of those kids.

If I had it to do over again I would have gotten him transfered into another class. Kindergarten does set the tone for first grade. He was way behind because of her.

So maybe he's just bored?
Here is a big hug for both of you!

 

[Mamu]

Pixie Dust for you and Pete.

 

[newmousecateer]

Sorry the little guy is having such a tough go at it.

I am sure it will get better for him.

{{{HUGS}}} to you and him.

 

[Melissa R]

I have taught Kindergarten for 9 years, and I have to say that 3 weeks is a long time for this to be happening. I'd talk to him and see if you can find out the source of the problem....if he was ok in preschool, then the problem isn't just that he misses you. Maybe there's a student who is a bully or the teacher isn't very compassionate. It could also be something like adjusting to the cafeteria. Unless he was in pre-k at the same school, the cafeteria can be a very frightening place for a little guy....his teacher's not there, lots of kids and noise, and if you're not packing his lunch, maybe he doesn't like what they serve. If he's worried about the cafeteria, it could be ruining his morning. Or maybe there's some other event during the day that's giving him anxiety, or maybe there are more rules than in preschool and he's worried about doing the right thing. He sounds like a sensitive little guy with the crying in the bathroom...sure hope you can get to the bottom of this!

Until you find out a specific problem, see if you can get the teacher to give him a job in the mornings - something that will make him feel really important and will distract him from the "trauma" of you leaving. It might really help if she'd let him come in the classroom a few minutes before the other kids arrive to give him a calmer start for his day. Maybe she needs the chairs unstacked or needs help setting up the day's activities. If she's not open to that, a job when they all arrive could still help - even if it's something she makes up - like he's in charge of making sure that all their backpacks are where they go, or checking to see if the crayons are all in place. Anything - just so she could say to him, "Wow Pete, I never could have gotten started with our day without your help! What would I do without you?!?!"

Good luck! I hope it improves quickly. Give him lots of kisses this weekend, and talk about school very positively -- how he's such a big boy and all. Try not to let your sadness in all this show - it'll make it harder for him.