Very sad, please cheer me up! UPDATE!!!

[jldriscoll]

Awww, {hugs} this is jsut the hardest transition isn't it!!!

He'll get through this! So will you!!!

{hugs} again!

 

[#1 Disney Fan]

Can't really add any more help or advice, but I do really hope that Pete starts to enjoy Kindergarten more soon. That's no fun for either of you how it is right now. Big {{{{hugs}}}}.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I was just wondering . . . does he have any friends at the new school? Maybe if you had a couple of play dates with someone in his class, he would bond. Having a friend can sometimes make change easier to bear.

Lots of hugs to all of you. Hope he starts liking school soon.

 

[lovelyk68]

Oh my--my heart just breaks thinking of how tough this must be for you and Pete.

I think you have received alot of good advice here. Because it has been going on for 3 weeks, it seems like there is some underlying problem (bully, poor connection with the teacher) going on. Keep talking with him to try and see if you can find out what it is. I would also schedule a conference with the teacher and perhaps the principal to put together a plan to help Pete.

Good luck. I hope things get better very soon.

 

[d.kurz]

Oh, Pete's mom, I feel for you. I had the same issues with DD...same set-up...LOVED pre-school.

Melissa R is exactly on the money! I'd bet it's something in the classroom or the dreaded noisy cafeteria. With DD it was a teacher who was a screamer and a couple of bullies. No doubt he thinks he's protecting you by not telling!

{{{{HUGS}}}} to both of you!!

 

[nativetxn]

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. I'm so sorry Pete is unhappy in school My ds was more along the lines of "will you just leave, Mom?" when he went to school, so I don't have any experience with this. Can't offer any advice but remember that I'm always here if you need to talk and I have a shoulder if you need one

Katholyn

 

[Claudia1]

Maybe he needs to keep just a little bit of Mom with him during his school day.

Can you make bracelets or necklaces (nothing too fancy) together and each of you wear yours on school days? Talk about how much you miss him while you work and how having his bracelet on reminds you that you are always together, even when you can't see each other. Maybe something around his ankel, under his sock.....

He can have a little bit of your each day and your can have a little bit of him, too.

 

[RitaZ.]

Poor little guy! You have already received good advice, I just wanted to offer some {{{hugs}}}. I hope things get better real soon!

 

[pixiedust218]

{{HUGS}} for you and Pete! I know what you are going through. DS went through it and so did DD. They both went to pre-school and DS cried for oh I don't know how long (I would say first 3 months of school, beginning in pre-school through grade 3). He is now in high school and doesn't cry any more, lol. DD same thing although about 1 month into school in first grade, DH and I decided to send a picture of ourselves with her to school. We discussed this with her teacher and any time after that when she felt sad and wanted to cry, she would open her book and look at our picture. It was a small picture hidden inside the front of her book and that made all the difference. Her teacher said that made all the difference. It might be worth a try! Good luck.

 

[Val]

This is a little long for simply an "adjustment" phase........seems like you might want to do a "task analysis" of the situation. Try to be neutral (if your son picks up on your anxiety, he may either a) use it to his advantage or b) feel that YOU want him to stay home).......ask your son to draw a pciture or series of pictures about his day. Have him start with the drop off and "detail" each activity throughout his day.......as he does this, look for clues and ask questions. Who do you play with at recess? What is fun and what is not fun about morning circle?.....etc........see if you can pick up any signs from this.

Ask the same thing from the teacher (well, not the pictures).....see if you can pinpoint a particular troublesome time, other student, etc......if the teacher is particularly uncooperative, this may be a key (hey- not everybody gets along with everyone- that's okay but teachers sometimes need to be switched). See if there is a bully, an activity, something that your son is afraid of (my first grader was TERRIFIED of buying lunch- not the lunch line, not eating, but handing the cashier the ticket!)......it may be something really, really, silly to us but CRITICALLY important to someone still small.

If you can identity the trouble spot, help your son "work through it" if possible. Practice the activity, discuss with the teacher ways of helping. Speak up about a bully. You will be teaching your son an invaluable lesson- bad things can be resolved for the better IF you speak up!

One caution- do NOT let him start staying home while you work on the situation (well- let's limit this to the short term- a week or so). He might start to believe that acting up gets him out of "bad" situations (this can lead to real school troubles).

IF you still have no answers after a week- ask for a consult from the school psychologist. NOTE: This does not mean that your son has something WRONG with him (I am guessing that someone or something has scared the h..e...double toothpicks out of him....). School psychologists sometimes know better ways to get little boys to tell us the problem. They also have power to help change the troublesome setting- and they are a neutral person (your son might be afraid to tell you because he THINKS you might be upset/dissappointed- and same with the teacher).

Whatever it is- your son is trying his very, very best to communicate that something is not right. BELIEVE him and help him find a more efficient way of telling you what is wrong. Kindergarten and first grade can set the tone for the rest of your school years- God forbid that this is what he thinks school is going to be like for the next 13 or more years!

Good luck and God bless you. My family will keep him (and you!) in our prayers!

 

[Melissa R]

I thought of one other thing...there's a really sweet book called The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn. It's about a raccoon that doesn't want to go to school because he'll miss his mommy. She gives him a "kissing hand" - gives him a kiss in his hand that he can carry with him to school, and explains that anytime he is missing her he can put his hand to his cheek and feel her love....and that it can be used over and over and won't wash off.

Even if the problem isn't just missing you, maybe this would work in giving him some of mommy's love and comfort. You could tell him that any time he started to feel sad/lonely/upset/nervous that he could put that kiss to his cheek and know that you love him and are supporting him.

Just a thought...I'd still really try to get to the root of the problem. Something has him really upset and I doubt it's just the seperation.

 

[Dan Murphy]

No tips from me, Mom, but I do have a {hug} for you both. It will get better.

 

[cassie]

What month was he born in? Even though he's had preschool, he may not be mature enough for kindergarten. It can be an awful struggle for him if he's not ready. I also second merry poppins advice to have a play time with a friend from class. Is there one child he likes that he might want to have visit on a weekend? It may help him make friends and look forward to going to school.

My heart cries for him, it is so hard to grow up. My GD is the 5th grade, which is middle school here, and she has to take a bus with kid's she doesn't know as her family just moved to their new home. They are clicky and ignore her. My DD waits with her at the bus stop, poor kid is so shy. Today DD couldn't go to the bus stop so GD went alone and it was not the end of the world. DD thought if she drove her it would help, but, I didn't think so. GD will get through it herself. As much as it hurt Mom's feelings, kids have to learn to be self sufficient. And they will. It is part of life and they can't expect Mom to be there all the time.

But it is so hard to be tough with little ones. My DS started coming home from kindergarten with wet pants...he said the teacher wouldn't let him go to the bathroom. A call to the teacher proved he was telling tales. He got over it fast. I also remember dragging him down the school corridor screaming in the first grade. Made him go to school that day, and that was the end of that. DD was great on pretending she was sick, and the school nurse would call me at work to pick her up. After a few pickups I new she wasn't sick, so next time the nurse would call, I'd ask her what she thought. Really sick?? Well not really, so I said let her lay down for 30 mins and send her back to class. I was not leaving work to pick her up. That too stopped when she figured I wouldn't pick her up.

 

[catsrule]

 

[pollyanna]

I am also curious about what month he was born in. My son is an August and he also had a tough time(he eventually repeated 7th grade due to maturaty issues)...his best buddy's Mom pulled him from Kindergarten,both were summer birthdays. But it DOES sound that even in daycare he had issues about leaving you. ((Hugs))

 

[DVCajun]

Pete's Mom-- I'd love to hear an update.

I really feel for you. It's tough enough to have to "let go" of your baby, but if it proves to be traumatic on them it's heartbreaking. I teared up the other day in Target because all of these little fellows were there with their moms picking out crayons and notebooks.... I really dread sending my baby to school. I'm pitiful I know. I will *never* let DS know how tough it is on me of course! He'd take advantage of it until the end of time!

Keep us posted.

 

[Pete's Mom]

I really want to thank all of you who posted such wonderful ideas. It has been one of the most stressful and heartwrenching times I have ever had to go through.

For those of you who asked, Pete will be 6 in December.

I had a long talk with his teacher who said that he would eventually perk up, but for the first hour he would be a nervous wreak.

Thanks to all the wonderful suggestions from you guys, he seems to have finally adjusted to his new school.

First, I started parking in the morning and walking him to the front door of his school (not to class). As a side note, I wasn't to crazy about the "drop and dash" system anyway. I would give the top of his hand a big lipstick kiss and tell him that we he got lonely to look at the lip print and know that I loved him. This seemed to help as he loved getting "tagged" every morning.

Second, Miss Reese, Pete's WONDERFUL kindergarten teacher, would ask him to help her do certain tasks in the morning. This seemed to help take his mind off being lonely (THANKS MELISSA R! for both these wonderful ideas!)

Third, and I think the real clincher, was a friend of mine said that I should make a clean break from his previous daycare (Primrose) where he was having his afterschool care and have him enroll in the after school program at his elementary school. Of course, I was mortified! Visions of future electro shock treatments and expensive therapy sessions raced through my mind. I thought she was nuts, but she made a good point she thought that he was clinging to his old friends and not wanting to make new ones. So, after a heated argument with him and a lot of crying, we made the leap. She was right! Within a week or so, he had made new friends and some were even his fellow classmates. He loves the after school program and has become quite popular with his classmates. Miss Reese told me that the other kids "fight" over who gets to play with Pete now. He is still a little grumpy in the mornings from no more nap at school, but then again so is Mommie!

So funny, that we saw the van coming to pick up the Primrose group the other day and asked if he wanted to go back to Primrose. I got a very emphatic "NO !

Thanks again to help who posted! You guys are the best!

 

[kejoda]

Wonderful news!

 

[d.kurz]

That's great, Pete's Mom!! I'm so glad for both of you!!

 

[disfanatiks]

That is great news!!!!