Update post 202 & 207. A 22yo girl calls and says to my DH, he is her father.

[The Mystery Machine]

A grandma is a grandma is a grandma. So congrats, granny!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Thanks for the support!!!!
Here, my work and my DH are the only supports I am going to have for awhile.

Ages of the kids are 2yo and 5 months....I think. Could be off by a bit. Both of them are girls.

Side note about DH's dad, well, can't really say. Although he is the ONLY family member that knows and his step-mom.
His dad is a nice person and helpful, not evil, DH's dad just doesn't have a "relationship" with us. We see him at "events" usually.
Will this lead to more, who knows. If something good comes from it then hey, I am all for it.
It is certainly is a thorn in my DH's side, even though he will tell you he is "ok with everything".

Imagine when my own girls who will be 16 & 10 find out they have half sisters and they are Aunts to 2 little girls.
Geesh it took me FOREVER to become an aunt.

Thank you....thank you...thank you...for all your well wishes.

Sorry to hear about dh's dad, but that could be why your dh is so caring towards his own kids & the possibility of having another. Your girls will be soooo excited! I can't wait to hear what they think-- you definitly have to keep us posted!

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

I suppose....does it work that way? So what would I be? A step-grandma or just grandma?

Help me out here folks....

Technically a step-grandma, but the sounds of things a favorite grandma!

 

[ElizaB39]

I think that girl is very lucky.

Well said.

 

[DISUNC]

Best of Luck with everything!

Any other Mysteries you haven't fessed up too Mystery Machine?

A very good friend of mine found his REAL father when he was 22 & his Dad was in his early 40's......NO PATERNITY TEST NEEDED...They looked excatly alike, had the the same mannerisms & way too many of the same interest!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Best of Luck with everything!

Any other Mysteries you haven't fessed up too Mystery Machine?

Plenty...but that is for another day. This one is certainly ENOUGH!

He is supposed to be meeting with her today. Hopefully without her mom so they can talk more freely.
She really does sound like a nice girl.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

Do you have plans on meeting her any time soon or are you going to wait until you tell the girls?

 

[TEENEE]

Congratulations Grandma. I became a step grandma when I was 36 years old. Too young to be a grandma especially when my own kids were only 7 & 11. DGD calls me grandma Tina. There has never been any reference to step grandma. I spoil her like any good grandma would.

 

[KrnB]

My DM became a stepgrandma to my stepson, but I tell you, she's every bit a real grandma to him!

Congrats! It does sound like she's a nice girl. The mom on the other hand, well, sounds like we know why she was the type to hide a DD from her real father...

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Do you have plans on meeting her any time soon or are you going to wait until you tell the girls?

Well right now until there is a paternity test, I will keep it emails and phone calls. Keep it light.
I have not spoken with her yet, I am going to let DH be the guide there.
Not sure about when I will do a face to face, living in another state makes that a bit difficult. Kind of playing by ear on that one.

 

[marshallandcartersmo]

My goodness! You sure are taking this well. I'm so impressed with your, I don't know, coolness about the whole thing.
Did you DH say her "new" daughter looks like him? Any same mannerisms? That would be interesting to see if she does have the same gestures/mannerisms since they've never been together.
Best of luck to you and your family...........

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You know, she does have some of the same "health things" and the "height issue", which is a biggie.
From the surface it really looks like he is her dd.
So we are taking it on faith right now but will be establishing paternity, because well, you should.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I've been lurking for updates but I just have to tell you that I am so impressed with the way you and DH have handled this.

And to quote my stepdaughter "you're the grandmother, there's no step part about it." Enjoy it. Its actually alot of fun. And I think the best part was telling my DM that she was a great-grandmother! And I think I have you all beat, I became a grandmother at the ripe old age of 33! BTW, my DD's nephew is 2 yrs older then her!

 

[dodukes]

You know, she does have some of the same "health things" and the "height issue", which is a biggie.
From the surface it really looks like he is her dd.
So we are taking it on faith right now but will be establishing paternity, because well, you should.

I think you especially should since he didnt know about her. It would have been different had he known he had a child na djust not seen her but since this is out of the blue, its better off. But its funny tho cuz my aunt and grandma didnt live together for most of my DGM last 30 years or so but my god are the IDENTICAL!!! looks and if it wasnt the loks its the mannerisms!! (granted everyone here knew each other) I ma just saying cuz of the mannerism thing, you relaly dont have to live together to inherit these, she does the EXACT same things my DGM did and i look and my aunt and think WOW!!... they live in europe, we live here so obviously we are far far away...lol

 

[Trish Bessette]

THREE THUMBS UP!!!!

You both are amazing and your DH is very lucky to have you as a wife. I am reading through this like a mad woman looking for further updates from you. This is so exciting, it's like it is happening to me What an exciting new chapter of your life. Glad you've covered all your bases.

So all I can say is congratulations granny , grandma , Oma , Nana , Nanny , Nina . However you put it, it's all good

 

[The Mystery Machine]

UPDATE:

2nd Meeting at Applebees w/ her husband to be.

I guess before I start the meet update, just so you are clear when reading, dh's dd is not married, has a 2yodd by another guy and a 5 month old dd by this guy.
They live together and are planning a wedding in June.
Oh and her sister lives with them. There is also a brother but he lives with the dad.
Got that?

My DH went to meet up with the fiance (I think almost 27) and his dd (22). No kids, just them.

They discussed her mom. She expressed how unhappy she was that the meeting took place at her mom's apartment. She felt really uncomfortable, due to the strain between them.
However my DH assured her that her mom can be completely out of the picture now and it is up to him and her to move forward with this.

She is very eager to go fast however my dh keeps explaining how we want to proceed. She says she will respect that. (I am hoping for that.)
It is really important to us that our children are the first ones to know.

My DH got some history on them as they told their stories. Alot of detail. She never graduated HS due to her mom trying to "homeschool". Her sister also does not have a HS diploma. The brother is in school and it is looking good right now.

She does have a job. The fiance works 2 jobs. Alot of bad financial history there.

However they are young and if they continue on with life as is it will get better for them. Like alot of you with older kids....you can only hope.

Well that is enough for now. I should have typed this last night. Can't remember all the details right now.
So there is your latest update.

They are going to be meeting again.

 

[annegal]

Although I admire how you are handling this, I can't understand why you don't do the blood test ASAP? You are getting to know this girl who may not be his DD.

What Is the "height issue"????

 

[Poohnatic]

Wow, you just amaze me with your strength and support for DH.

I agree that there's no step about it, you'll be Granny or Mema (my kid's use those), or Grandmama...

Suzanne

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Although I admire how you are handling this, I can't understand why you don't do the blood test ASAP? You are getting to know this girl who may not be his DD.

What Is the "height issue"????

We are going to do the paternity. That is all set. So don't worry there.

Height issue is a genetic thing on my DH's side. My youngest is on growth hormone shots.
She had told my DH that she was 4' 11' until she turned 14, I think. Now she is 5' 1".
Very strong genetic trait that runs on his side.

 

[zalansky]

Wow! What a story and kudos to you on how you've handled it all.