Ungrateful family?

[iwrbnd]

WOW, a five year old that hated the World. never thought i would hear that one. oh well, i hope that you and your little family still had some good times mixed in there. here's some good vibes for you for your next trip without the fam!

I'm still shocked about that one!

 

[BEASLYBOO]

Hey, lesson learned! Over the years we've found out who we enjoy vacationing with and who we don't and apparently so have you, all in one felt swoop! You've been generous with your time and accomodations, the rest was beyond your control, I hope it wasn't all bad! your next vacation will be that much sweeter!

 

[RumpleMom]

We just tell family we don't have enough points to take all of the extended family at the same time. We take one family at a time. No need to mention banking and borrowing.

 

[crisi]

Bummer you did need another trip!

That's another trick we do - in addition to not getting a Grand Villa - we tack some time onto our vacation where our relatives are not invited - preferably a day or two at the end. They fly out Friday morning - because we don't want to pay their expensive weekend points anyway - we stay until Sunday. By the time we leave, we've had our decompression vacation - and gotten some time to chill with just OUR little family - no in laws, cousins, friends, crabby children that aren't even ours......

 

[Inkmahm]

Oh wow, I'm so sorry you guys had such a terrible time

Our last trip, we were 25 people. But 5 of them were at a completely different resort ( technically not part of our trip, but joined up with us the whole time ) and we were split up into separate units ( 1 2bdrm and 3 studios ). So that probably helped keep tensions low. It WAS stressful, but in our case, not so much because people didn't get along, more because we wasted a lot of time "herding" the large group. But we still had a great time.

hope it hasn't completely ruined the magic for you...

I"m trying to imagine how long the bathroom breaks would take for 25 people. It drove me crazy with just 6 of us. I think my niece has never seen a bathroom she didn't want to use.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Well, it sounds like it was stressful, but maybe better than you originally expected in some ways and worse in others. I can NOT imagine a 5 year old not liking WDW!!! Is he a spoiled brat, and maybe didn't like that he wasn't getting all the attention? We had a large group in a GV one time with a surly 11 year old, and by the 3rd day, every adult in the group was after him before he finally settled down and had some fun without causing grief. His problem was that he wanted ALL the attention, and there were 4 other children there who were well behaved, so he felt the need to grab more for himself.

Anyway, it looks like you have now learned your lesson and will only take small groups from now on. We have found that works best anyway. Everyone has more fun.

How cool that you saw an ostrich lay an egg! We got to have one picked up on our Waynama safari ride, but we didn't see the ostrich lay it, we just found it.

 

[shortypots]

Well, as it turns out my nephew will be in a traditional calendar and my niece in year round on a track that doesn't match up with his vacations except for times that he would be spending with his mother, so future all family trips will not be possible. We are debating taking folks separately, but both my brothers are buying houses, so not sure how much cash will be left over when all is said and done. Even with the room being paid for one spent about $1K the other about $1500 (the one with the son) between airfare, tickets, and food. That is a lot of money when you don't have a lot to spend.

Although this does mean I am off the hook for the future for big family trips. I figured maybe one year we go with my sister and her family, and the next year invite my 2 brothers and my nephew, and each time mom and dad would always be invited. And if no one wants to go, then we invite friends to go.

 

[southtexasmom]

DH has 2 brothers, we've taken both to DW at different times, one brother and DSIL are huge complainers, they complained about everything - lines were too long, water rides were too wet, it was hot, fireworks were too loud, towels were not white enough. After the 3rd morning of them not getting out of bed until DH and I prepared breakfast, DH had me take the kids on to the park while he talked to DBIL and DSIL. After that little chat we only saw DBIL and DSIL only when we had ADR's.

My other DBIL and DSIL were great on our trip, they were so thankful. DSIL insisted on cooking breakfast every morning, they insisted on giving us money for some of the groceries and paid for several of our meals. It was such a great relaxing trip, can't wait to take them again.

 

[rocketriter]

Not sure why anyone would give in to these demands in the first place. Yes, when you refuse, people get pouty and it can give a bad odor to the proceedings. But when you give in, you get the bad odor anyway because you feel bad about being taken advantage of and so does anyone else who's been screwed by the last minute change. Rule #1: make sure everyone has looked at the rack rate for the space you're giving them. Rule #2: make sure everyone is paying for something significant, their airfare, passes or whatever so they don't sign on without a sense that the trip will cost them something. Rule #3: never schedule a lot of meals for the whole group together. Make one or two group special-occasion meals and give everyone the freedom/responsibility of fending for themselves the rest of the time. Rule #4: don't travel from park to park as a big group all the time or you'll be at the mercy of the last person to linger in the bathroom. Again, schedule just a few togetherness activities with the clear understanding that you'll begin at the scheduled time with whoever has managed to show up--no waiting around. Tough love makes for a great trip.

 

[itradehilton]

We have hosted several family trips to other places and have learned very important lessons;

-never travel with my family ever again, even in seperate rooms

-Get a room for DH's family so they can cram as many family members in a room who don't mind sharing spaces.

- travel with our good friends who own their own timeshare
They are going on our first Disney world trip with us.

 

[AJKMOM]

DH has 2 brothers, we've taken both to DW at different times, one brother and DSIL are huge complainers, they complained about everything - lines were too long, water rides were too wet, it was hot, fireworks were too loud, towels were not white enough. After the 3rd morning of them not getting out of bed until DH and I prepared breakfast, DH had me take the kids on to the park while he talked to DBIL and DSIL. After that little chat we only saw DBIL and DSIL only when we had ADR's.

Did he ever tell you what he said to his brother? Must have read him the riot act. Maybe you should post it so others can copy.

 

[DizGirl20]

I am reading your story and shaking my head b/c I know if I took my family we would have the exact same issues. I can totally relate and I am so sorry. I still haven't told my family we joined DVC and I don't know when I will. If I do, I will not mention that I have enough points to take them... isn't that terrible... but it's the truth.

 

[nickspace]

People appreciate things when they have to pay themselves. I have seen the "Bite The Hand That Feeds You" syndrome many times. Somehow people who get things for free often resent those who are the givers.

We went on a Disney big family trip this year with multiple units and everyone had their own villa and had to pay cash. Everyone had reservations in their own name and had to pay their own bill. I did get everyone the 25% member discount and made all the reservations including countless phone calls to make all the details work. I got a few thanks but that was it.

We did have a nice time but having planned the trip I had the pressure of making sure everything was right for everyone. I would do it again but once again everyone has to pay and I would not use points except for my reservations.

 

[nickspace]

DH has 2 brothers, we've taken both to DW at different times, one brother and DSIL are huge complainers, they complained about everything - lines were too long, water rides were too wet, it was hot, fireworks were too loud, towels were not white enough. After the 3rd morning of them not getting out of bed until DH and I prepared breakfast, DH had me take the kids on to the park while he talked to DBIL and DSIL. After that little chat we only saw DBIL and DSIL only when we had ADR's.

Did he ever tell you what he said to his brother? Must have read him the riot act. Maybe you should post it so others can copy.

Leave the complainers at home.

 

[CindeBella]

People appreciate things when they have to pay themselves. I have seen the "Bite The Hand That Feeds You" syndrome many times. Somehow people who get things for free often resent those who are the givers.QUOTE]

So true! My husband and I would be thrilled if either of our parents, or any relative, would do something so kind as you have done for your family. We would never complain and couldn't say thank you enough. My MIL told me (not my husband) we should stay at a villa if we plan to visit her in Charleston. For the record, we have 3 well behaved children. One received the most respectful student award at school.

When I read your original post I couldn't believe anyone would complain about a vacation being hosted at WDW. My advice is to enjoy your points and only invite people that will appreciate your generosity.

 

[Peggy Sue]

Family dynamics can be very tricky .. multiple personalities and families with different financial situations can really add pile on the stress. Even with rooms being paid for some people will find WDW very expensive when you factor in park tickets, food, transportation etc. I think it's important that everyone be honest up front as to what they can and cannot afford before setting off on a family vacation.

2007 we took my family to WDW --- 14 of us at OKW. We reserved a Gand Villa and 3 studios. Our goal was for every family to have a private room and every person/couple to have their own bed. We set rules that no one could sleep in the living area of the grand villa .. everyone had a key to access the grand villa and could come and go as they pleased to use the kitchen, washer/dryer, visit, etc. We stocked the kitchen with food and made a few dinner reservations at buffets to keep the cost down.

Happy to report that despite my misgivings about bringing all these personalities together it was the best family vacation we've ever taken .. and everyone made the same comments when we returned home. My family lived in 6 different states .. from Alaska to Vermont..so it was fantastic to get them all together. Thankfully, not one person complained or was grumpy the entire 8 days together!

My dad had been ill prior to this trip and we were all thrilled he was well enough to come with us. Sadly, he passed away a few short months after this trip ... we all treasure the wonderful memories of all being together. We hired a Disney photographer to come out and take family photos one day ... they are priceless!

It's so true that we can pick our friends but we can't pick our families .. we have to accept them warts and all .. and decide if it's possible to vacation together ....sometimes it just isn't possible.

 

[bytheblood]

I am learning a lesson right now about trying to vacation with family.....

For your situation, if you are paying for the room, I would suggest that you tell everybody - this is how it is and if you do not like it, you do not have to come. Plain and simple.

 

[Tink6666]

We are taking family for the first time in 2 weeks. My parents are joining us. (My DH has a step mom, but no parents living.) We are driving from MN so, I am hoping all will go well. We have traveled together before, but not in one vehicle and not staying in the same room. We have a 2 BR so, they can go to their room if necessary. Our 2 DD's will be switching off between sleeping on the pull out in the living room/ sleeping on the aerobed in the living room or sleeping on the extra QN bed with Nana & Papa. I am hoping for a good vacation with little to no arguing. I forgot I have two teenage daughters!!!

 

[shortypots]

I am starting to think that my family is just not normal in regards to the thankfulness factor. They almost seem entitled to me. But, the good news is my nephew and niece are on two different school calendars and we will not have to have the problem in the future. We will probably start going every year in 2012, and only invite half the family each time with mom and dad every time. We will get a 2 bd, and the kids will sleep on the sleeper sofa or their parents will. Period. You don't like it, don't come. My DH and I can enjoy the points without sharing it with family so if they decide not to come, we can invite friends that will be thankful!

 

[TiaMaria]

I want to thank everyone that has commented on this thread....I was beginning to think that I was the only one with a completely disfuntional family.

All those dreams that we all have of our families loking like the happy families we see on the commercials (who are really in the minority) are just "wishes".

I suppose real life actually ISN'T like "Leave It To Beaver" huh?

We are beginning to plan for my 50th B-Day in 2012 and are already hitting a few obstacles. I am privately taking bets (against myself) as to which family member will be the one to ruin it for everyone.