Twins birthday party, only one is classmate

[mhsjax]

DD scratched her cornea taking off her winter coat one day when she was about 4. Not wearing a winter coat around here isn't an option.

And that is my point. We do have fun making everyone ill telling them about a paper cut on the cornea/ Want to see a bunch of adults totally gross out? Tell them that story.

 

[sunnyday123]

I just find it a little tacky that the Mom is inviting kids to a party for two children, and only one is known by the OP's son. I don't think a gift has to be bought for the other child. Dd has been invited to a party that was for siblings, but only her friend was named in the invitation.

Maybe it's just me. There was a Mom here who, if you invited the child that DD was friends with to a party or play date, automatically brought the other one. She was older, not interested in what DD and her friend were, and no one enjoyed themselves. I just found that rude.

 

[Hannathy]

I would only buy a gift for the child in my child's class and assume the other child's friends would do the same. why should they get double gifts? are they inviting my child to 2 separate parties? that is the only way they would get 2 gifts from me, sounds pretty greedy to me to think they would each get a gift from each child.

Buy a gift for your child's friend, that is the person who invited him, the other child doesn't even know him.

 

[MELSMICE]

Mom of twin DD's here. We did a joint party for both of them growing up. They actually would never tell kids in their class that they were twins.

For parties they each got to invite a few friends individually & then the neighborhood kids that they both played with were invited for both of them. I wrote out 3 different types of invites. I never expected anyone to bring 2 gifts if they were only invited for one child.

If you are going to buy a gift for both of them please make it 2 gifts. They are 2 individuals and a joint gift screams that they are the same and not individual people. The only difference between having a set of twins & having 2 singletons is that twins share a birthdate/birthday. You probably wouldn't buy a 4 & 5 year old joint gifts if they had a party together.

Also, some posters mentioned spending less because you have to buy 2 gifts. I can completely understand that, especially if you hadn't planned on purchasing 2 gifts but don't cheat the kids. It was not their choice to be a twin.

If the is only one twins' name on the invite for your son then I would believe you should only buy one gift. If there are 2 then I feel the mom is kind of rude & expects you to purchase 2 gifts, unfortunately.

 

[cassandrap83]

I would only buy for the child that my child is friends with. Why would you buy a present for someone you don't know?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I just find it a little tacky that the Mom is inviting kids to a party for two children, and only one is known by the OP's son.

A party for twins is tacky?

 

[5lilfish]

As a mom of twins, I threw one birthday party for them until they were 7 or so (I forget exactly, but somewhere around then we started separate birthdays). While it was still one party, I would send an invite to my DD's invitees and a different invite to DS's invitees. They were in different preschool and elementary classes and had different friends. I never expected parents of their friends to bring two gifts...that would have been ridiculous, IMO! More gifts than I ever would want to deal with, plus why would a kid who didn't even know one of my children buy a gift for that child?

I would call the mother and ask what they would like, but work into the conversation that you don't know "x", but your son is in a class with "y." I'll bet anything she will say "it's not necessary to bring something for x." If you feel inclined to get something anyway, make it small.

I really dislike it when people say "I get both of them something smaller." Ugg. If my kids were both invited to a party, I didn't "combine" gifts...each child brought a gift of the same type/cost as if they had been the only one invited. It should work the same in reverse.

I agree completely. Our twins are only 3 1/2, but we have 3 older siblings. I have to say that for all the twin parties that my kids were invited to, we knew both twins. If I didn't, I think I would have called and sort of played dumb. Like this post suggests, I would say...we don't really know (insert name) and we were wondering what types of toys he might like for his b-day. I would wait to see if that prompts Mom to say that it is not necessary to buy for both because they each invited their own friends. If that did not happen, I suppose I would probably buy for both...even though I think that is a little ridiculous.

On the flip side, my twins have now gone to 2 birthday parties. Both times they brought their own gift for the b-day child. I, therefore, spent double what I would have if I had 1 child attending the party....but I just wouldn't feel right doing it any other way.

Jess

 

[Hannathy]

On the flip side, my twins have now gone to 2 birthday parties. Both times they brought their own gift for the b-day child. I, therefore, spent double what I would have if I had 1 child attending the party....but I just wouldn't feel right doing it any other way.

Jess

Of course they should each bring their own gift! you had 2 children attending the party not 1.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I would only buy a gift for the child in my child's class and assume the other child's friends would do the same. why should they get double gifts? are they inviting my child to 2 separate parties? that is the only way they would get 2 gifts from me, sounds pretty greedy to me to think they would each get a gift from each child.

Buy a gift for your child's friend, that is the person who invited him, the other child doesn't even know him.

ITA!!!

 

[5lilfish]

Of course they should each bring their own gift! you had 2 children attending the party not 1.

I agree.. I was simply pointing this out as the flip side to people who suggest that you don't need to spend your normal amount on each twin at a joint party, when you know them both. Just as I am sending 2 kids to the party, 'your' child is attending a party for 2 individuals....splitting a lesser amount between them, or getting them a joint gift spending your normal amount for 1 child, also wouldn't be right.

Jess

 

[mnrose]

I agree.. I was simply pointing this out as the flip side to people who suggest that you don't need to spend your normal amount on each twin at a joint party, when you know them both. Just as I am sending 2 kids to the party, 'your' child is attending a party for 2 individuals....splitting a lesser amount between them also wouldn't be right.

Jess

 

[soccerchick]

Mom of twin DD's here. We did a joint party for both of them growing up. They actually would never tell kids in their class that they were twins.

For parties they each got to invite a few friends individually & then the neighborhood kids that they both played with were invited for both of them. I wrote out 3 different types of invites. I never expected anyone to bring 2 gifts if they were only invited for one child.

If you are going to buy a gift for both of them please make it 2 gifts. They are 2 individuals and a joint gift screams that they are the same and not individual people. The only difference between having a set of twins & having 2 singletons is that twins share a birthdate/birthday. You probably wouldn't buy a 4 & 5 year old joint gifts if they had a party together.

Also, some posters mentioned spending less because you have to buy 2 gifts. I can completely understand that, especially if you hadn't planned on purchasing 2 gifts but don't cheat the kids. It was not their choice to be a twin.

If the is only one twins' name on the invite for your son then I would believe you should only buy one gift. If there are 2 then I feel the mom is kind of rude & expects you to purchase 2 gifts, unfortunately.

We've never experienced this. If parents of multiples want twins treated this differently, then it needs to start with you. Have two separate parties - one for each individual. That would be far less confusing for those of us who don't know both of your kids. We want to handle it fairly for all people involved, not just the birthday kids.

 

[aprilgail2]

On the flip side, my twins have now gone to 2 birthday parties. Both times they brought their own gift for the b-day child. I, therefore, spent double what I would have if I had 1 child attending the party....but I just wouldn't feel right doing it any other way.

Jess

When we invite the triplets to a party they come with one gift...when we invite her friend and the friends sister (my daughter is friends with both-they are only a year apart ) they come with ONE gift... so not ALL parents of multiples or siblings send one gift per kid...which I am actually fine with since she didn't need any more crap- just pointing out that it doesn't work like you do it all the time!

We've never experienced this. If parents of multiples want twins treated this differently, then it needs to start with you. Have two separate parties - one for each individual. That would be far less confusing for those of us who don't know both of your kids. We want to handle it fairly for all people involved, not just the birthday kids.

 

[5lilfish]

We've never experienced this. If parents of multiples want twins treated this differently, then it needs to start with you. Have two separate parties - one for each individual. That would be far less confusing for those of us who don't know both of your kids. We want to handle it fairly for all people involved, not just the birthday kids.

We've been to a few parties where non-twin siblings had their party at the same time...and we were only invited by one of the siblings. Twins, or not twins, they are still individuals...sometimes Mom/Dad just have to make life a little easier or maybe a little cheaper.

It sort of reminds me of being told that I should never dress my twins alike. For the most part (they are only 3), I dress them in different outfits. Sometimes I dress them alike. I used to buy matching outfits for my oldest 2 daughters...they are 17 months apart in age. Why was that ok but I shouldn't do that for the twins? Wearing the same outfit, once in a while, does not make each of them any less of an individual...neither does having a joint birthday party. I even call them the twins...gasp. I called the oldest 2 girls, 'the girls,' for years before I had the twins and we joking call (in private conversation) our only son, the 'boy-child.'

Honestly...I'm not sure what's so confusing. If you know both kids, buy each kid a gift. If you only know one child, only buy that child a gift. Do whatever you are comfortable with.

Jess

 

[5lilfish]

When we invite the triplets to a party they come with one gift...when we invite her friend and the friends sister (my daughter is friends with both-they are only a year apart ) they come with ONE gift... so not ALL parents of multiples or siblings send one gift per kid...which I am actually fine with since she didn't need any more crap- just pointing out that it doesn't work like you do it all the time!

I would never do that. Did you tell the triplets that they could each bowl one out of the three games (using bowling as an example)? Would you hand the triplets one goodie-bag? Of course not! You invited 3 seperate kids (and paid for them). I think it is tacky to show up without 3 gifts....and it isn't about getting pressents (I agree...personally would rather not have as much crap too).

Jess

 

[mjkacmom]

We've never experienced this. If parents of multiples want twins treated this differently, then it needs to start with you. Have two separate parties - one for each individual. That would be far less confusing for those of us who don't know both of your kids. We want to handle it fairly for all people involved, not just the birthday kids.

It's not so cut and dry with twins. Some friends they might share, some friends they might not. Dd8 has friends in ds8's class, and ds8 has friends in dd8's class. They also have friends in the third class. By first or second grade, kids have friends in other classes. Honestly, it became so overwhelming that we stopped having birthday parties for our twins last year.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I just find it a little tacky that the Mom is inviting kids to a party for two children, and only one is known by the OP's son.

So twins are never allowed to have birthday parties, or can only have separate parties on separate days, or only invite kids both of the twins know?

 

[mjkacmom]

I would never do that. Did you tell the triplets that they could each bowl one out of the three games (using bowling as an example)? Would you hand the triplets one goodie-bag? Of course not! You invited 3 seperate kids (and paid for them). I think it is tacky to show up without 3 gifts....and it isn't about getting pressents (I agree...personally would rather not have as much crap too).

Jess

Actually, I prefer to bring one gift from my twins, but I spend twice as much. I spend at least $40, and can buy a ds or Wii game, instead of the usually $20 priced gift.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

So twins are never allowed to have birthday parties, or can only have separate parties on separate days, or only invite kids both of the twins know?

I think the poster meant that its tacky that the invited child only knows one of the twins but both children (twins) are on the invitation , so in that case at least in my opinion , two gifts, one for each twin is expected.

My DD was invited to a twins birthday last year. Yes the twins had a joint birthday party, but the mom only put the twin my daughter knew on the invitation. To me, that states bring only a gift for the one child , the one my child actually knows, as it should be..

Now if your child knows both twins, thats a whole different story.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

I think the poster meant that its tacky that the invited child only knows one of the twins but both children (twins) are on the invitation , so in that case at least in my opinion , two gifts, one for each twin is expected.

My DD was invited to a twins birthday last year. Yes the twins had a joint birthday party, but the mom only put the twin my daughter knew on the invitation. To me, that states bring only a gift for the one child , the one my child actually knows, as it should be..

Now if your child knows both twins, thats a whole different story.

You think it's to be expected that a parent of twins is supposed to make three different invitations? One with one twin's name, one with the other twin's name, and one with both twins' names? And be expected to remember which child being inviting only knows one of the twins (and if so, which one), and which child knows both twins?