TV in kids room?

[verleniahall]

When my parents got a new TV, I got the old one fo rmy room ( it was right around 8th grade graduation) it had the red lines running through it, BUT it was MINE (I just had a VHS player with it, no cable) and for my Christmas gift my sernior year, I got a new TV with dvd player so I could take it to college with me. (let me tell ya, when you have a 28" tv in yrou room, you are the MOST popular person in the dorms LOL)


I think that there has to be a balance, (I am another person who has to have it on to sleep, bu the DH will wake up and turn it off)

 

[hsmamato2]

My kids are not little.... and I think I was overstating (a little) b/c it seems like so many pp's on this thread are so vehement one way or the other....I agree about having time to yourself...I need it,my family needs it- I think for me, the 'overstatement' comes from a general mentality of what I hear from other parents i.e." I can't stand to be in the room with those kids for another minute! I need to get away! I need a vacation AWAY from my family" apologies if it felt too much like I was overgeneralizing.... it all put me in mind of the (too much) stuff I overhear....and those same people who say that kind of thing,tend to utilize the 'closed doors,separates screens' to keep everyone to themselves.....not saying that's what I read here, just too much of what I'm hearing IRL.....Frankly,my oldest has his on 'screen' via computer in his room,since he was old enough to choose that,and *afford* to set it up. As long as it was up to me, we didn't set those things up. I guess my real question is....what if we didn't have a choice, but to all get along in a very small home,our only option for 'chilltime' was chatting with each other...would we all go crazy? Or would we figure it out and get along? ( I think we'd figure it out with no help from tv's) Not that a closed door is a bad thing....

 

[smitch425]

ETA: As I read this thread, I think there is a real difference between parents with teens and parents with younger kids. If your kids are younger, and you are considering putting a TV in their room, think about what that might mean when they are teens. Keep in mind that TVs aren't just TVs any longer, its easy to get an internet connection now and find a whole world of things you might not approve of your teens seeing. Set the rules up so they grow into those teen years - they'll move past the Power Rangers and into wanting to watch Breaking Bad, and that may be something you want to make sure you are watching with them - or at least know they are watching.

He never watched Power Rangers until Spring Break 2011. Within 3 weeks time, he researched and memorized every season and knows the names/colors of every ranger for every season, including the years each season ran. He goes to flea markets and finds the rangers he needs to add to his collection. He probably has close to 100, maybe more. He can tell instantly by looking at a figure if it is a "real" ranger or a fake, and despite having so many, he knows what he has and what he still needs. DD is a fan, as well, so I don't see Power Rangers going away anytime soon. That is one show that has a huge adult following. Both kids are martial artists (thanks ,in part, to the show), and they both placed in their first tri-state tournament over the summer.

Lately, DS spends more time on YouTube and video games than watching regular TV. He has become interested in debugging video games to see what he can do with them. He will bring us the iPad to screen any new videos he finds so we can check the content and language. Our kids know what is appropriate and if there is any doubt on something, they come to us immediately.

 

[photos_101]

Here is a little example of how things worked in our house. I was/am a SAHM so for lunch DS and I would make homemade pizza and salad. He LOVED to help me in the kitchen so we would make lunch and eat. Afterwards, I would say 'ok since you helped me make lunch would you like to watch tv a little while I clean the kitchen up then we will play a board game?'. Of course he said yes! so I would put on Blues Clues or Barney (that was back in the day huh. lol) he would watch tv while playing with lincoln logs or legos usually, while I cleaned the kitchen.
Did I feel bad for seperating myself from him? No way, he gets some much needed alone time (which I think is important at any age) and I have uninterupted time to clean up the mess. Win win for both.
Then we play our board game. He was playing monopoly by age 3 and believe me in order to sit still and focus on that, you need some very structured learning ablilities. As in we always made our kids sit and play games with us and such. I have seen a few kids who can't sit still long enough to do anything. They are so used to go go go ALL the time! Makes me wonder how they sit quietly for a long school day.
TV is what you make of it. If you allow the child to sit in front of it 24/7 then more than likely that is what they will do. But once again it has nothing to do with the 'tv' persay but what the parent allows.

 

[crisi]

I am not the poster you quoted, but I have to ask, why does it have to be "active" entertainment all the time. Why does everything have to be productive. It is fine if your kids want to be productive all the time, but most kids need down lazy time and as long as they don't abuse it there is nothing wrong with it. I mean by your standards you are completely being lazy, passive and non productive by being here on the Dis.

Then again my kids chill at night, and I would kill anyone making a bouncing basketball noise or playing guitar at the time my kids have gone to their rooms to chill, at that point during the night I want QUIET and so do they.

I aslo agree with you edit that it may be a HUGE difference in the ages of children. My youngest is 12.5 Oldest if 16.5 I am not worried about them watching what they aren't supposed to, I am in and out of their rooms too much and my youngest leaves his door open. My DD will be watching Pretty Little Liars over and over and over and over, well you get the point. lol

I'm not saying it does have to be active all the time. I am saying that I'd rather have my kids choose active over passive for the majority of their time. And TV, in our house, becomes a huge time suck. You turn it on and four hours later - where did my day go?

And Pretty Little Liars is sort of exactly what I'm talking about. You are fine with that, I'm fine with that, but I'm betting that some parents here would not be fine with that, (and I'm not judging, its up to parents to be fine with whatever) and with a tv in their room you can loose control without realizing it. My fifteen year old can stay up later than I can very easily in his room and watch unsupervised TV.

 

[mhsjax]

I'm not saying it does have to be active all the time. I am saying that I'd rather have my kids choose active over passive for the majority of their time. And TV, in our house, becomes a huge time suck. You turn it on and four hours later - where did my day go?

And Pretty Little Liars is sort of exactly what I'm talking about. You are fine with that, I'm fine with that, but I'm betting that some parents here would not be fine with that, (and I'm not judging, its up to parents to be fine with whatever) and with a tv in their room you can loose control without realizing it. My fifteen year old can stay up later than I can very easily in his room and watch unsupervised TV.

Sounds reasonable. So when I talk about our situation, I know that my kids are active most of the time. IN reality our kids don't watch TV during the day, it tends to be a night time thing. My DD is 14 and I have no problem with what she watches. I will also admit that she is the type of kid who loves her sleep and puts herself to bed at around 10:00 pm on a weekend. I am sure there are others that don't do that and would stay up all night.

 

[Desnik]

I had a tv in my room as a kid. I have two kids, DD (15), and DS (10). They both have tv's in their room. DD never uses hers. DS only uses his tv to watch a show before bedtime or watch a movie before bedtime (on the weekends). We do watch tv together as a family, a show or two that we all enjoy, like Survivor or Amazing Race. My kids are into their iPhones, iPads, and computers, but they both read books all the time, my DD is an artist so she is always doing art work, and DS plays with his Lego's daily. I have no problem with them using any type of electronics or tv, everything in moderation and as long as they are doing other things too, I see no issue with it.

 

[jackie101]

What is your goal? I think bedroom TVs encourage kids to spend more time alone in their rooms, rather than together with family, make it harder to monitor what they watch, interfere with sleep and serve as a distraction to things that kids are supposed to be doing in the bedrooms--like getting ready for school or cleaning the room or maybe homework. Also it seems to me that kids watch more tv if the tv is in a bedroom--and what kid needs to watch more tv?

What benefits do people see to TVs in kids' rooms?

 

[AverageDiser]

My 12 yo dd has a very old-fashioned tv in her room...it's called a bookshelf. When she needs to unwind she curls up with a good book, or occasionally her computer to write a story (since she's not allowed to access the internet in her room). Call me archaic, but she will not have a tv in her room until she's paying for a room of her own..in her own house. That said, I agree kids need time to unwind by themselves, I just don't find a tv necessary to do that.

 

[MrsPete]

I guess I never expected or even thought about TV teaching kids morals. that is my job. I don't want or expect tv to do that.

I agree that it's the parents' job to teach kids morals, but one way parents accomplish that goal is by exposing their children to appropriate experiences (which includes a wide range of things: school, church, clubs and activities, and a variety of media). TV shows are one tool available to parents for promoting positive morals. The point is that today's shows have not only neutral morals but storylines with downright questionable content. Whereas in the past parents could count on, say, The Brady Bunch to reinforce morals the kids are being taught elsewhere, today kids actually watch negative interaction among characters on Futurama. The downward spiral in typical TV shows has not only removed one tool that was available to parents in the past -- it's provided another obstacle to overcome.

Of course, this can be overcome -- as you stated -- by keeping an eye on what your child's watching, but this is much easier if the only TV is in the family room. I can tell you that we have TVs in the family room and the adjacent office /playroom . . . and my kids have still managed occasionally to watch something of which I didn't approve, or something I didn't realize would be inappropriate 'til it started playing. How much worse would it be if they had private access to TV all the time?

You called those statements completely false. When I provided experiences that showed the contrary to one example (tv and movies can encourage reading), you dismissed me as wrong because your experience tells you otherwise. That may be your experience, but I stand by that statement is true. My kids have been encouraged to read by movies on several occasions.

It's too bad you don't expose your students to books that are made into movies. A lot of very good books are movies. My kids have read a lot of stories they've loved that they knew of because they were movies. Holes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, White Fang, The Incredible Journey and more I can't think of off the top of my head. All books we own (or have owned) as well as own the DVD. My kids had a list to choose from for summer reading this year. One chose Divergent the other chose The Maze Runner. Both books are series and they've asked for the next ones. Why? Because they liked the stories and they want to keep seeing what happens next.

Oh and both are movies in production and they can't wait til they come out so they can watch it too. It doesn't have to be either or if you let it......It can be both.

Movies are more often than not, just for fun. My kid's may have their interest sparked sometimes by a movie, but they also often like the book as much or better. In fact my husband and sons just saw Sea of Monsters this past weekend. My son complained the whole movie that it did not follow the book.

Parent your kids and the rest will follow........

regards

Yes, it's my experience, but it's my experience based upon 21 years in the classroom with literally thousands of students. The majority of them -- once they've seen the movie -- aren't interested in reading the book. Most recently I saw this phenomenon with Hunger Games. Some of the younger grades at my school were teaching Hunger Games with great success. Kids'd ask if it was okay to read ahead, they'd ask if they could read more in class and do their activities at home -- it was one of the most successful books those teachers had brought into the classroom. Then the movie came out, and the interest in reading the book dropped off. The kids already knew what was going to happen to the characters at the end of the story, so the motivation to read fell away. Those teachers have lamented the fact that that particular unit has now lost its magic.

You've changed the topic a bit by saying that once they see Movie #1, they may be motivated to read Book #2, which isn't available in a movie. Yes, I see that -- but it's not quite the same thing.

I totally agree that many good books have been made into movies, but with the wealth of literature available to us, it's not all that hard to choose books that haven't made it to the big screen. I see that you referenced middle-schoolish titles, so I assume your kids are this age. I have been very glad to see a huge increase in new, fresh books for this age group in the past decade -- particularly we've seen a huge increase in all-things-supernatural and dystopian novels, both of which have been very appealing to middle schoolers. The choices today are better than ever.

Slightly off-topic: You mentioned series books. This seems to be "a thing" now. It wasn't true when I was a kid -- oh, we had a few series, but today everything seems to appear in a series. I suspect it's a business model, but it is pushing kids -- once they find a character or storyline that they like -- to read all three books in the series rather than just one.

 

[crisi]

Slightly off-topic: You mentioned series books. This seems to be "a thing" now. It wasn't true when I was a kid -- oh, we had a few series, but today everything seems to appear in a series. I suspect it's a business model, but it is pushing kids -- once they find a character or storyline that they like -- to read all three books in the series rather than just one.

Continued off topic from someone whose good friend is a YA Librarian and another good friend is a SF/Fantasy writer.

Its been the norm for years if SF and Fantasy (Mysteries, too) - the thing is that Young Adult Lit crossed over heavily into SF/Fantasy fifteen years ago or so, and picked up the model. And for Children's Lit its been a thing forever as well - Nancy Drew, Boxcar Children, Anne of Green Gables, Little House, Betsy-Tacy, even Little Women is really a series - children's lit came heavily out of a serial mentality - so YA lit got fed from the other end as well. And yes, its a business model. I suspect that Hunger Games was sold as a stand alone book (it stands alone fine), but sold well and had an option for a series.

 

[MrsPete]

So just because someone allows their child to have a tv in their room means parents can't stand to be around them?? You are really grasping at straws to make your point.

On either side, taking the argument to extremes doesn't further the point. No one has said no-TV-ever, thought the pro-in-the-room side seems to imply that. No one has said that a kid who has a TV in his room is going to have huge problems; rather, it's not an optimal situation.

To give an analogy, though people never seem to grasp their meaning, it's kind of like the diet you feed your child. On the one hand, you could feed him a well-balanced diet of lean meats and vegetables with a smattering of occasional treats . . . or you could allow him to eat pop tarts for breakfast and bring home fast food every night. Regardless, he will still grow up and the results won't appear all that different while he's young. But is the second diet optimal? Is it the best you could offer your child?

If your photo is current, your kids are very young. Teenagers DO need to separate from their parents, its a normal part of them growing up and gaining independence and developing their own interests . . .

. . . If your kids are younger, and you are considering putting a TV in their room, think about what that might mean when they are teens.

Absolutely teens need time apart from their parents, but I'm not convinced that time is best spent alone in their rooms watching TV -- not that you seem to say that either. Rather, that time apart is best spent in activities with their peers, in clubs, in various activities. Also, I've found that both of my teens, though they love doing things apart from their dad and me, still absolutely crave time alone with me. Both of them want time just to talk, to go shopping one-on-one, to cook together, or to lie on the sofa and watch TV together. It's absolutely critical to have plenty of downtime WITH your teen. In my experience, the happiest, most well-adjusted teens I know have plenty of time with their parents and WANT plenty of time with their parents -- but on the teen's schedule, and with input from the teen on how they want to spend that time. For example, last night was Friday night football at the high school. My girls were both there, and they had fun. But when they came home they sat and talked with their dad and me for a good hour, and when they get out of bed in a little bit, I guarantee they're going to be clamoring for time with me.

I also agree that parents of small children should think ahead when they make a decision like whether to put a TV in the bedroom. It's easy to add a privilege into a kid's life at a later time. It's harder to take away something that's become a problem.

I am not the poster you quoted, but I have to ask, why does it have to be "active" entertainment all the time. Why does everything have to be productive.

Sure, we all need restful time, but here are two arguments for this point of view:

- Lazy time, downtime, chill-out time takes care of itself. It's going to happen naturally in our lives. BUT active experiences for our kids don't automatically present themselves, especially for small children -- unless parents plan them and make them happen.
- That lazy time can happen in the family room just as easily -- and more effectively -- than in an individual bedroom.

And TV, in our house, becomes a huge time suck. You turn it on and four hours later - where did my day go?

Yeah, this is not a unique situation!

 

[J.C.&ALI'SMOM]

I am 43 years old and had a TV in my bedroom when I was 4, maybe before then. Mainly because my Dad didn't want to watch the PBS shows I loved while there were ball games on, lol. I have had one ever since, except for the time I had an apartment for a few months and didn't get cable.

Both my girls have had TVs in their rooms since they were very small. It is just a standard thing to me, I never thought it was something I shouldn't do

 

[crisi]

Yeah, this is not a unique situation!

I know it isn't. And while I admire families that have an indifferent relationship with their media and believe people who say that is the way their house works - including internet, youtube, et. al. - I think our situation of "losing yourself" in media is the situation that is pretty darn common. And if your household doesn't do it now, it doesn't mean that your child, given a TV in his room and hours to himself as he does the completely normal separation the grows as the age, won't fall into those habits. Biologically, our brains seem tuned to disengaged when presented with a screen.

I am not telling anyone what to do - we have tvs in the kids room, I wish we didn't, but I wasn't consulted. Just THINK about it far more than my husband did before you do it.

 

[Order66]

Yes, it's my experience, but it's my experience based upon 21 years in the classroom with literally thousands of students. The majority of them -- once they've seen the movie -- aren't interested in reading the book. Most recently I saw this phenomenon with Hunger Games. Some of the younger grades at my school were teaching Hunger Games with great success. Kids'd ask if it was okay to read ahead, they'd ask if they could read more in class and do their activities at home -- it was one of the most successful books those teachers had brought into the classroom. Then the movie came out, and the interest in reading the book dropped off. The kids already knew what was going to happen to the characters at the end of the story, so the motivation to read fell away. Those teachers have lamented the fact that that particular unit has now lost its magic.

You've changed the topic a bit by saying that once they see Movie #1, they may be motivated to read Book #2, which isn't available in a movie. Yes, I see that -- but it's not quite the same thing.

I totally agree that many good books have been made into movies, but with the wealth of literature available to us, it's not all that hard to choose books that haven't made it to the big screen. I see that you referenced middle-schoolish titles, so I assume your kids are this age. I have been very glad to see a huge increase in new, fresh books for this age group in the past decade -- particularly we've seen a huge increase in all-things-supernatural and dystopian novels, both of which have been very appealing to middle schoolers. The choices today are better than ever.

Slightly off-topic: You mentioned series books. This seems to be "a thing" now. It wasn't true when I was a kid -- oh, we had a few series, but today everything seems to appear in a series. I suspect it's a business model, but it is pushing kids -- once they find a character or storyline that they like -- to read all three books in the series rather than just one.

Again, I'm not dismissing your opinion based on your experiences. Only restating that yes, some children (like my children) are influenced to read by what they see on TV or movies.

Yes, my sons are middle school age, almost 14. I referenced books they've read from about 3 grade up til this summer which is 8th grade. Prior to that age they read your basic children's books which still included mainly TV or movie characters. Sponge Bob, Disney books, Star Wars books for younger kids, etc.... We had other what you'd probably consider traditional literature for kids too....... but stories about the characters they knew from TV or movies were more frequently read.

I didn't change the topic. If they watched something and asked for the book afterward it would always be the book the movie was based off. In the case of series or sequels.....we always start with book 1. Then they want to continue. In the case of the most recent books they finished for summer reading, they aren't movies yet. 2014 I believe. By then, my kids will have the series read. In fact their summer project was just the opposite of this discussion. After reading the book, they didn't write a boring old book report. The assignment was write to a Hollywood director and pitch this book for a movie....of course not choosing anything that was actually associated with the upcoming production. Recap the story, explain why it would be a great movie, pick actors, locations, music and design a poster.

Hunger Games is a required book this year in their class. That was an example I gave of my son reading a book before the movie was made. He'd only saw a trailer. The other asked for Ender's Game because he saw the trailer recently. He thinks the story looks cool.

I encouraged reading in both my kids from the time they were babies....reading to them every night until they could read books to me. One was easy....he got it from me and his grandfather. The other not as much, so that he found a love to read from any source was fine by me. My kids knew that a trip to a store didn't always mean a trip to buy something for them. Sometimes they'd be rewarded with a small toy or candy for no reason, but don't count on it. They'd always ask of course, but they were often told no. They figured out pretty young that if they asked to buy a book.....I'd almost never say no. I'm fairly certain I've spent more money on books than any electronic entertainment we own.

regards

 

[dougsmom98]

We have four kids. They all have TV in their bedroom. They still like to be with us more than by themselves and they rarely use the TVs, but it is nice that they have them so when they are arguing about what to watch on TV, we have somewhere to send them. It is also nice because my daughter is 8 and the boys are in their teens, so she can watch Disney and they can watch sports.

 

[Planogirl]

Our son has had a TV in his room since he was 8 or 9 and he is now in college. He didn't really watch it all that much but sometimes played his games on it. We really ended up watching most of his shows together for whatever reason.

I agree with those that say that teens in particular need time away from their parents. Outside activities and such things isn't necessarily a complete solution because I believe that we all need time alone just to do whatever. I know that I do.

 

[kate_wdw]

I got a TV in my room when I was 9 or 10 and our playroom became my bedroom. After my parents went to bed, I used to stay up until 1 or 2 watching Nick At Night.

I wouldn't do it. I'd want to be able to monitor what they're watching, when they're watching it, and how much they're watching much more carefully than I could with a TV in their room.

ETA: Didn't realize this was an older thread.

 

[DbleTheFun]

My twins have a TV in their room but it's not connected to the cable so it's rendered practically useless EXCEPT... It's the wall mounted style that has a built in DVD player. Sometimes they will watch a movie in bed on weekends and it's perfect.

Once they are a lot older I will consider connecting the cable in the room but for right now it's a happy medium.

 

[TnTWalter]

didn't realize old thread