Trying so hard not to be resentful....

[r1lissa]

My Stafford Loan interest is set 6% written in stone. I have $14,000 in student loans- two thirds of the loans are subsidized, one third is not. When I start making payments in July, it will $180.00.

 

[minniebeth]

I am contemplating taking ds's money and paying this loan off and then using the 2nd job to replenish the account. I just don't feel right about it though as dumb as that sounds. I will still need the 2nd job, and actually so far it hasn't been bad. I am sleep deprived which is why I think I am feeling a little more weepy and crappy.

I seriously hope that they way this has all unfolded, that you would not take your own DS's saved college money and put it toward your DSD's loan.
As honorable as your intentions are for your stepkids, your loyalty should be to your own kids first, and to yourself! It sounds like you are the only truly sacrificing anything here and it will take it's toll on you eventually.
You have a big heart, but you need to protect yourself and your own kids.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Yes, I got close to that amount by a few dollars also. DH is home in the morning and I will see him then...he will have to get what information he needs and what he signed.

Hopefully renegotiation is possible. I did note on the reviews for the school they have the highest rate of default for student loans..79%. That really doesn't sound good in the 'garuntee' dh thinks she has for a great paying job.

Please keep good thoughts this doesn't turn into an uglier mess than it is...and I sure won't be sending 600 if the bill is 431. But then again, maybe it will best to pay it off totally before the interest starts and call it a day and stop worrying about it. Dsd #2 is going to a state university and hopefully with scholarships and better loans it would be better to have her do the student loans.

What is typcial interest for Stafford Loans?

Kelly

This might be a radical idea. Just thought of it.

If you are truly stuck with this. There may be other ways around this mess. That school's terms are harsh.

If they can't/won't renegotiate the loan, can you get a loan through a bank at a lesser % rate, pay off the higher rate and pay the bank back at a more comfortable rate/payment? You probably could get a better rate than what is before you. Get it in your DSD name (it would help her credit rating maybe help her to be responsible and get you out of the loan business) co-sign as you did before and let her assume payments when she has a job.

I mentioned up thread to think about taking the block off of ex-wife on FB. You will learn valuable information. Something to think about.

 

[hereyago]

Mom never paid for c/s..but dh didn't persue it and it was his to do.

But mom...that picture spoke a thousand words about how great her life is while I stressing out. For whatever reason...probably because dh has his name all over everything...she isnt worried in the least.

Not sure about the unemployment thing..I don't ask personal questions because otherwise I open myself for personal questions..and quite frankly it took me a long time to make dh understand what her business was and wasn't where I am concerned.

Kelly

The child support money that he didn't insist on, could have helped fund the education. Your DH has to cowboy up on this. He needs to be a big boy and call and find out about the loan, and not the ex cause I also believe ya'll are being duped. He needs to see the actual paperwork and fast.

I give you props for raising these girls, but like another poster said,you have to take care of your bio kids as well.

 

[hereyago]

T

Get it in your DSD name (it would help her credit rating maybe help her to be responsible and get you out of the loan business) co-sign as you did before and let her assume payments when she has a job.

I mentioned up thread to think about taking the block off of ex-wife on FB. You will learn valuable information. Something to think about.

The DSD does have a full time job.

 

[OceanAnnie]

The DSD does have a full time job.

Good catch.

But I'd still consider getting a lower rate loan for my sanity and well being.

 

[hereyago]

Good catch.

But I'd still consider getting a lower rate loan for my sanity and well being.

I agree with you totally. And keeping the facebook unblocked, cause people are stupid and don't think about what they put on it may come back to bite them in the hind parts.

 

[kellyg403]

Definitely need the paperwork. And dh is just the man for the job!

I don't know if I can unblock her right now...at this point I am beyond mad and a teeny tiny bit jealous I don't have that much freedom nor do I have dollars to go to the casino.

I will definitely look into better loans once the whole truth and nothing but the truth is in play. I do think we are stuck...knowing dh he did sign stuff. He sent our tax return from the year she needed. I made him black out my ssn before he sent it. He hates when I do that. He thinks I should be more trusting and I think he should be LESS. They don't need my ssn.

Thanks guys...I have a lot to think about. I will have to put it in perspective for dh. No, I am not using the boy's money. Technically its not my money to do with as a I wish. It is earmarked and I don't want to get in a totally different bind.

Kelly

 

[hereyago]

Definitely need the paperwork. And dh is just the man for the job!

I don't know if I can unblock her right now...at this point I am beyond mad and a teeny tiny bit jealous I don't have that much freedom nor do I have dollars to go to the casino.

I will definitely look into better loans once the whole truth and nothing but the truth is in play. I do think we are stuck...knowing dh he did sign stuff. He sent our tax return from the year she needed. I made him black out my ssn before he sent it. He hates when I do that. He thinks I should be more trusting and I think he should be LESS. They don't need my ssn.

Thanks guys...I have a lot to think about. I will have to put it in perspective for dh. No, I am not using the boy's money. Technically its not my money to do with as a I wish. It is earmarked and I don't want to get in a totally different bind.

Kelly

Don't be jealous, she needs to be jealous of you. She will never be the DM that you are, you helped raise another woman's kids, and the degree of which you have helped, that is true unselfishness. Money doesn't even come close to that.

 

[minniebeth]

Don't be jealous, she needs to be jealous of you. She will never be the DM that you are, you helped raise another woman's kids, and the degree of which you have helped, that is true unselfishness. Money doesn't even come close to that.

Amen!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Don't be jealous, she needs to be jealous of you. She will never be the DM that you are, you helped raise another woman's kids, and the degree of which you have helped, that is true unselfishness. Money doesn't even come close to that.

You said it!

 

[Kellydelly]

There is no way a 6 month program will cost you $600 a month. It appears to me that you guys are being played.

ETA- I would take the block "off" on FB. I would want to know what the ex-wife is up to! It's a good window into her financial activity. Maybe you can keep your finger on the pulse of potential problems.

Why do you think that a 6 month program can't cost $600 a month? There are plenty of programs that are expensive, especially private schools (I recently graduated with an ADN and payed $6,000 for that degree (community college), when others get the same degree at private colleges and end up with $50,000 in student loans!). If this is an actual hygienist program, and not just a dental assistant, it definately could cost a lot of money. What I don't get is why the payments would be due before graduation, student loans are not usually due until months afterwards.

 

[SnowWhite607]

WHY can't SHE get student loans?

My OWN mother would NEVER have gotten a night job to put me through college, nor would I EVER expect her to. Wow. To me, that is incredibly selfish.

Granted, my parents did save a small amount for me to go to college, I ALONE paid for my books, materials, and 95% of my college education. The LOANS are my responsibility.

Why are you working so hard when she has her whole life to pay off a student loan?

I agree with this. My parents paid for one year. I took out loans and paid for the other 3. I didnt have to start paying them back until after I graduated and got a job. When I stopped working and stayed home with my baby, I got them deferred for a few years.

I think if she has graduated college and has a full time job, why should she expect mama and daddy to pay the loans back? And I also agree with the poster who said that your DH should get the 2nd job, not you.

 

[SLM]

You've gotten some good advice-please get the information you need and that will be the first step in lowering your stress level! I don't understand why your husband didn't get copies of any paperwork if he co-signed the loan?? Good luck and keep us posted-hoping things aren't as bad as they sound.

 

[mom2grace]

What I don't get is why the payments would be due before graduation, student loans are not usually due until months afterwards.

If it is unsubsizdized, the interest accrues and you are billed but do not have to pay it, of course this would not be $600/month.

If it is a private loan, it could go into repayment immediately. Not to add more fuel to the fire, but if they took out a home equity loan to pay for school, you would begin paying that back immediately.

For traditional student loans, you have to be taking a certain number of credit hours to have your loan in deferment.

 

[SLM]

quote:'free' (or substantially-reduced) college education for those who are going into the 'service' careers, like education or law-enforcement, and in return, they provide volunteer time in their communities. Well, my DS has already DONE that - where's HIS 'reward'??

There are some careers that forgive student loans-for example, teaching at a Title I school for so many years-I think 3?

 

[OceanAnnie]

Why do you think that a 6 month program can't cost $600 a month? There are plenty of programs that are expensive, especially private schools (I recently graduated with an ADN and payed $6,000 for that degree (community college), when others get the same degree at private colleges and end up with $50,000 in student loans!). If this is an actual hygienist program, and not just a dental assistant, it definately could cost a lot of money. What I don't get is why the payments would be due before graduation, student loans are not usually due until months afterwards.

I wasn't knocking the program. It seems a steep repayment plan to me for $14,000. YMMV. I had the same questions as you about the payments being due before graduation. It didn't fit my frame of reference at all.

Thanks, Mom2grace for clearing it up.

You've gotten some good advice-please get the information you need and that will be the first step in lowering your stress level! I don't understand why your husband didn't get copies of any paperwork if he co-signed the loan?? Good luck and keep us posted-hoping things aren't as bad as they sound.

I hope it all works out for the best too! I hope you get the information you need asap.

 

[my3sonsagn]

I don't really know anything about school loans (I went to tech school that was inexpensive), but $14k for a 6 month program that has a 79% default rate (indicating that their students might have a hard time finding a good enough job to repay the loan) raises red flags all over the place for me, and your DH apparently never bothered to look into that kind of thing before signing for it - it sounds like he just keeps signing whatever for the ex and their kids out of some sort of misplaced guilt. Just my own personal opinion, I'd inform your DH that he and his ex got themselves into this mess, they can get themselves out - if it ruins his credit, hey, at least yours is still good since your name isn't on the papers, and, with bad credit, maybe he'd become unable to sign anything else stupid in the future. I wouldn't put one penny more towards his kids' educations than he has put towards your kids' educations. It would cheese me off to no end that he keeps giving in to whatever his EX wants while giving absolutely no thought to how much more of a burden that it puts on YOU.

He really needs to man up and

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I'd be resentful too. Good for you for putting your stepdaughter first though- too bad her Mother doesn't care about her as much as you do.

 

[rascalmom]

This is raising red flags all over the place for me. DH is a dentist and he's seen some of his applicants/employees over the years who were really, really ripped off by private trade school dental assisting programs.

The cost of these types of programs is outrageous and really don't prepare the students for the work force in the dental industry. In some states, it doesn't even get them their D.A. certificates because they have to have a certain number of supervised hours of on-the-job experience to even qualify to take the test (in our state, they have to have a full year of work experience to apply for the test).

If this is the case - that type of trade school - we're not really talking about student loans in the traditional sense....we're talking about an in-house financing program. It is likely that there are all sorts of outrageous interest fees and hidden charges/fees associated with the payments. It is really sad that these schools are allowed to do this - especially when the same job positions can be had with either "no" specialized training or training can be obtained through a reputable vo-tech or community college program. They lure in students who think they otherwise can't qualify for college or afford "real" tuition payments and make all sorts of false promises about job outlooks.

DH would much prefer to train his own assistants that hire from those programs. That speaks to the poor training and horrible financial situation those students get themselves into. Dental assistants aren't highly paid - probably in the $10 to 14/hr. range depending on the area of the country and whether the applicant actually does have their x-ray, coronal polishing and CDA (Certified Dental Assistant).

Hygienists are another matter. Those are at a minimum associate's degrees - some are 4 year bachelor's degree programs. Starting salary in our area is about $275 per day. I am not aware of any "trade school" hygiene programs. Hygienists are licensed by the State Dental Board and have to pass a rigorous test.