Troll's Trip Report

[takeme2epcot]

Appreciate the effort that it takes to post one of these.

Man, you can say that again. I never recognized how challenging a trip report is until I attempted one myself. Folks who are good at things -- like TCD is at trip reporting -- make it look easy, effortless.

The reality is quite a bit different.

Looking forward to a lot more!

You have reached the milestone of over 10,000 views of your thread!

And, I don't see you losing steam.

You could easily go over 20,000 views on this one.

Very nice for your first trip report!



TCD

Thanks so much for the kind words from the master!

Now, on with our story!

When we last left off, I promised some details of the Fort. This is a subject that I really enjoy. I just love details, especially when lots of attention is paid to them. I've long considered doing a "details" trip report of the Magic Kingdom, but could you just imagine how much work that would involve?!

For now, let's look at some Fort details.

I want to call your attention to something. Please pay close attention to the following images:

Think I'm crazy yet?

Wondering why in the world I took so many daggum pictures of site number markers?

Think I've sunk to a new low of fascination with detail?

Perhaps I have.

This all started when I took the obligatory picture of our site number marker. It made me wonder if our site marker was a Fort original.

You know how I am about originals.

I compared our marker to the marker of a neighboring site, 1928, and I noticed the font type was different.

Then I started noticing different font types all over the place. Just about every loop has a different font type for its site markers than its neighbors. In fact, just about every site has a different font type than its neighbor.

Hmmm...shouldn't the fonts all match?

Here's a marker that's totally different from all the others:

Notice how blurry this shot is. That's because by the time I noticed this really wide font type, Mrs. Troll was really irritated by me stopping to take so many pictures of site number markers.

So I had to take that one while the golf cart was still moving.

It's an action shot.

Some site markers are made out of real wood:

Others are made out of faux wood -- i.e., concrete:

I wonder if the Fort management once concluded that if they make the site markers out of faux wood they'd last longer, but then a few years later, new management came along and decided wood ones were cheaper, even if they had to be replaced more often?

A mystery!

 

[Mrs. Troll]

Hey Norm, or others, Do the teepee inhabitanta make the teepees or are they commercially made? Some pretty good designs on them. How long will they be there?

The really nice girl who showed us around made reference to just going on line and buying one if we wanted to camp with them. That led me to believe they are comercially made, but not sure on that one.

 

[BRDof3]

I'm too busy trying to decide who I will pretend to be tomorrow to help you. Go check with my husband, or maybe my other husband.

 

[Lil' Lisa]

.

 

[takeme2epcot]

Time for some more Fort details!

I captured these photos while Mrs. Troll and I were hanging out on the porch at the Pioneer Hall.

We spent a lot of time on that porch.

I grabbed my camera and decided to walk over to Clementine Beach:

Have I posted this picture already? Sorry if it's a retread.

I noticed this lone picnic table on the beach. It's at the end of the walkway past the Clementine Beach sign:

Here's a slightly more creative angle:

It would be a nifty place for a picnic. Interesting that there's only one of those tables out here, though.

Nice beach chairs. Too bad you can't swim anymore:

Here's the same beach chairs, looking east down the beach:

And if you look closely, you'll notice I spoke too soon about there only being one picnic table out here.

And then I snapped this picture:

And yet another near-tragedy memory came back to me.

This one was serious.

I almost went to the big Fort in the sky in this experience.

I never realized how I had so many near-death experiences at the Fort, the so-called Happiest Place in the World!

You see the little speed boats in the picture? Well, as far back as I can remember, you could rent little speed boats at the Fort. They're big enough to seat two people...or at least the ones I remember were.

So Pop would rent two of these little speed boats on every trip. My brother Mike and my sister Lori would ride in one and Pop and I would ride in the other. Pop knew a neat way to get the little speed boats up on a plane rather than just putt-putting along in the water. If you got your boat up on a plane, it would just skim the surface of the water, kind of like a hover craft. What he'd do is floor the gas, stand up, and then rock the boat from front to back. Somehow that made the boat pop up out of the water and up on a plane.

And then you'd really fly.

He taught Mike and Lori how to do it, too.

Anyway, when I think I was 7, I told Pop I wanted to ride by the old shipwrecked pirate ship on the shore of Discovery Island. Even back then I was fascinated by Disney details.

So Pop cruised on over to the old pirate ship:

Of course, back then it was in much better shape than it is today.

It was almost a shipshape shipwreck.

Here's what it looked like just three years ago:

Not much left. By the way, the credit for the above picture goes to Flickr user Buckeye Beth, not me.

Anyway, so Pop, wanting to appease his 7-year-old boy, slowed down our boat and we sidled on up along next to the shipwreck.

I remember clearly staring at the shipwreck and wondering how it had gotten shipwrecked. I thought it was like the lawnmower tree, you see. Since Pop had told me that the Imagineers had just found the lawnmower tree when they bought the property, I thought, then, that they had just found the shipwreck on Discovery Island, too!

So there we were, admiring the shipwreck, when the unimaginable happened.

The vision of it is burned into my memory.

My brother Mike was driving their boat.

Pop and I were at a near standstill, innocently admiring the shipwreck...

And slam!

We were struck violently from behind.

We were hit so hard, my head snapped backward such that I was looking straight up at the sky.

And that's when I saw it: The underside of Mike and Lori's speed boat as it flew over our heads.

To this very day, I can see that propeller blade spinning as it buzzed right past my face.

If Mike had not rammed us so hard from behind and my head had not snapped backward as much as it did, chances are good that propeller would have chopped right into the back of my 7-year-old skull.

Then: Splash!

Mike and Lori landed right in front of us.

Mike had somehow performed a perfect Evel Knievel jump right over us, completely by accident!

And nearly killed us in the process.

Needless to say, Pop was not pleased.

Also needless to say, our speed boat trip was over.

I started to sweat for Mike as we pulled up to the dock. Pop was surely going to rattle his skull for this.

"Michael!" he shouted. "What the hell were you doing?"

Mike looked guilty as sin. He stammered a bit, shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot, and then blurted, "I thought we were playing boat tag!"

Yes, that was his answer.

To this day, I have no idea what "boat tag" is.

And Pop and I most certainly never agreed that we were playing it.

But Pop's reaction really surprised me. As a parent, I certainly wouldn't have handled it this way.

How did he handle it?

He just sighed and shook his head from side to side.

That was it.

Nothing more.

Even I, Mike's little brother who was just sweating bullets for him as we approached the dock, was a bit dismayed that Pop was letting him off so easily. We could have been killed!

Had the steptroll done that, I would have chewed him up and spit him out!

So many years later when I was somewhere in my 30s, I remembered the event and asked Pop about it.

"Pop," I said, "remember how Mike said we were playing 'boat tag' when were riding the speed boats at Disney World that time?"

"Yes, I remember that very well," he answered.

"Why didn't you yell at him more?" I asked.

He pondered the question a good long moment.

And then he paused and nodded slowly.

"Because," he said finally, "it was my fault."

Life Lessons 101...

...at the Fort.

 

[Normangirls]

Wow. For a troll, you really know how to bring the pixie dust.

I love, love, love your report.

When I was growing up, our family camped at Fort Wilderness for a few weeks each winter. I can't tell you how many memories you've revived with your own stories and pics -- swimming at Clementine's beach, hanging out at Pioneer Hall, hopping the boat to the Comtemporary to hit the game room (and maybe do a little now-illegal-but-then-just-slightly-frowned-upon pool hopping), renting a little speed boat (the year I turned 12 and could drive my own boat was one of the best days ever), riding the zip-line ride at River Country.

And I loved the ending to your last post.

Thank you, and keep it coming, troll!

 

[takeme2epcot]

So after I walked down to the beach and reminisced about my second near-death experience at the Fort, I walked back to the porch, where Leslie was waiting for me. On my way I took a shot of the Pioneer Hall playground:

I have to say I'm not too keen on this playground.

I like the original.

It looked like a fort. And it was made out of wood. This one, on the other hand, looks too plasticky, too out-of-the-box. You could find this playground set in any random city park in America.

But notice the lady in the red shirt. Notice the camera she's holding. Now that's a camera! Blows my little Nikon P90 out of the water! I'd like to see her Fort pictures.

After snapping the playground picture, I snapped this one:

To me, considering what the old arcade used to be, it's sort of a travesty to call that little afterthought side room "Davy Crockett's Wilderness Arcade."

The Fort deserves a much better arcade, something on the level of a Dave & Buster's. You know, an arcade the whole family could go to, one complete with skee ball and a shooting gallery. And you could win tickets that you could redeem for genuine Disney stuffed merchandise.

Wouldn't that be cool?

Hey, Disney execs, there's money to be made!

Money!

Anyhow, back at the porch I noticed this old bench:

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure this is a Fort original. If it is, there's a picture of me over at my brother's house of me at the age of 12 sitting on this bench, sipping a Coke out of a brown-tinted glass. Back then, when you ordered a Coke they gave it to you in a glass.

That was long before the concept of free refills.

It's hard to remember a time before the glory of free refills and self-serve drink stations.

All the thoughts of soda and free refills reminded me to take a quick pitstop at the men's room. When I went in, I was happy to hear banjo music still playing inside.

Funny, in 1978, as we were gearing up for a trip to the Fort, Pop invited his brother Wayne to come along with us. Wayne had never been. And you know how that goes -- when you suggest an idea to someone, you start selling them on it.

"Oh, you've just got to go," Pop said to Uncle Wayne. "You've got to see this place!"

And what was one of Pop's leading selling points?

Banjo music.

In the Pioneer Hall men's room.

Wayne said, "Well, in that case, I'm there!"

Anyway, while in the men's room, I snapped this picture:

Now it's very possible that this is a Disney feature that at least half of all Disney visitors have never seen. Why? Umm, because it's in the men's room!

Anyway, take a good look. This mural -- or whatever you want to call it -- is absolutely hilarious. The cowboys have either gotten chiggers or have gotten in to poison ivy.

They're itchy!

Could you imagine what that would be like, back in the cowboy days without any anti-itch cream? Anti-itch cream hadn't been invented yet. You'd just have to suffer. It would be torture!

I guess you'd just have to medicate it with whiskey.

"What's that, you say?" the cowboy doctor would ask. "You're itchy? Hmm...OK, take a shot of this! You'll feel nothing in no time!"

I bet they treated a lot of ailments with whiskey.

All right, enough of itchy cowboys in the men's room.

Oh, wait! Do they have an itchy cowboy mural in the women's room? Maybe I was being sexist by assuming they don't? Maybe their mural is itchy cowgirls?

OK, sorry.

Sad to think that I waste neurons storing all these ponderings!

Back outside I noticed this:

I found it very strange, and I'd much appreciate it if some kind expert here would tell me what the heck it is.

It's some sort of loading platform.

What's really strange about it is its location. Take a look at in on Bing:

The big pink arrow points to it.

Just, you know, in case you couldn't figure that out for yourself!

Notice the two concrete strips. They make it seem like a truck or something the size of a truck pulls up here. But the loading dock looks like its for people.

Also notice there's a path leading to it, but it's shrouded by the bushes and the fence.

It's also not in great shape:

And what's this? A lantern:

Notice the not-so-green, old timey bulbs in it. For some reason those bulbs look perfectly in place, but this does not:

Back in Davy Crockett's day, neither of these lightbulbs existed. Thomas Edison didn't invent his successful lightbulb until 1879. Here it is:

Davy Crockett died in 1836.

So if we date the Fort's theming by Mr. Crockett, any lightbulb is "out of period," but for some reason the older incandescent bulbs look more "right" than the ugly twisty bulbs.

Anyway, back to the loading platform. What the heck is it? Is it another case of Disney just abandoning something and just letting it rot and rust? Or is it still used for something today?

I left the mystery of the loading platform behind and went to find Mrs. Troll. When I did, we hopped back in the cart and headed back to camp. When we got there, imagine our surprise when we saw these guys:

Yes, those are American bald eagles! There were two of them! Right by our campsite!

Now how cool is that?

Coming up next: Some kids prove me wrong and I browse the Meadow Trading Post.

 

[BRDof3]

I captured these photos while Mrs. Troll and I were hanging out on the porch at the Pioneer Hall.

Where was Scruff? Or did you forget who you were on the porch?

 

[takeme2epcot]

Wow. For a troll, you really know how to bring the pixie dust.

I love, love, love your report.

When I was growing up, our family camped at Fort Wilderness for a few weeks each winter. I can't tell you how many memories you've revived with your own stories and pics -- swimming at Clementine's beach, hanging out at Pioneer Hall, hopping the boat to the Comtemporary to hit the game room (and maybe do a little now-illegal-but-then-just-slightly-frowned-upon pool hopping), renting a little speed boat (the year I turned 12 and could drive my own boat was one of the best days ever), riding the zip-line ride at River Country.

And I loved the ending to your last post.

Thank you, and keep it coming, troll!

Wow! You must have posted this reply right before I submitted my latest update!

Sounds like you and your family planned vacations very similar to ours. Don't you ever wonder after you've met people as an adult much later in life, if ever you crossed paths with that person in the past? You and I might have played Space Invaders right next to each other!

Oh, and the Contemporary pool hopping -- we used to do that all the time!

Thank you, and keep it coming, troll!

I'm really happy folks are still reading along and still enjoying the trip report! Thank you!

 

[takeme2epcot]

Where was Scruff? Or did you forget who you were on the porch?

She was back at camp, snoozing in the AC of the Aliner. She likes to take midday naps, and she was due for one! I'm admittedly kind a freak about her -- she's like a child to me -- so we never left her alone in the Aliner for very long, even though she would just curl up on the bed and nap.

She just loves to be with us, regardless of where we are. What dog doesn't?

Speaking of Zoe, I've been wanting to post this picture:

I have a bunch of pictures like these (mostly of Zoe...go figure) that I really like but don't really fit in to the unfolding story.

Notice she's napping (no surprise there) in the dirt! We brought along her bed and her blankets, yet she had to lie in the dirt. You can't see it, but she dug a hole right under the table there and would sleep in the hole rather than her bed, which was just five feet away.

Needless to say, when we got to my brother Lance's house for Thanksgiving, she desperately needed a bath:

 

[Normangirls]

Don't you ever wonder after you've met people as an adult much later in life, if ever you crossed paths with that person in the past? You and I might have played Space Invaders right next to each other!

I was thinking that exact thing! I would run in to a lot of the same kids year after year, most of the time just by coincidence. Your name isn't actually Charlene from Boston, is it? We were vacation BFFs for a few years. Or are you possibly that kid from Indianapolis who got in trouble with my brother for trying to grab some gold coins on Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah, probably not.

 

[itch1]

Such a talent you have Mr. Troll ...........
The "loading dock" you speak of is the display of the Fleetwood trailers that The Fort used for rentals .
And as far as vaction BFF's yes I keep in touch with one of the countless kids we would see every year. The one guys from the Bronx who had the Ghetto Blaster rockin Roxanne Roxanne and called us Cuz. They showed us how to nab towels and the back way into River Country.
And the guys from Ohio who had the Jeep that we drove into Orlando at 16 down the median of the highway mind you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The girl I met from Chicago who we shared a wine on the pennisula at the Poly I still have that glass, wonder if she still has my High School track hoodie I gave her and Julia if you read this my coach called and wants it back !!!!!!!!!!
Soooooooooooo many fun memories and lost loves !!!!!!!!!!
ITCH

 

[takeme2epcot]

I was thinking that exact thing! I would run in to a lot of the same kids year after year, most of the time just by coincidence. Your name isn't actually Charlene from Boston, is it? We were vacation BFFs for a few years. Or are you possibly that kid from Indianapolis who got in trouble with my brother for trying to grab some gold coins on Pirates of the Caribbean? Yeah, probably not.

Yeah, no, I'm neither of those kids. My name is Norm, and I'm a guy. I'm 41 years old now!

And how, exactly, did your brother attempt to grab the coins? From the boat?

 

[takeme2epcot]

The "loading dock" you speak of is the display of the Fleetwood trailers that The Fort used for rentals .

ITCH

Ahhhhhh...mystery solved! I wonder why they don't demolish the platform and get rid of it?

And woops! Sorry for the double post.

 

[Normangirls]

Yeah, no, I'm neither of those kids. My name is Norm, and I'm a guy. I'm 41 years old now!

And how, exactly, did your brother attempt to grab the coins? From the boat?

But from now on, to me, you're Charlene.

And no, they didn't get the coins from the boat, they jumped off the boat into the final "scene," where all the pirate booty was (and I think two noblemen were tied up). Which resulted in the one and only time Disney security visited our campsite. They had DB in tow, looking about as scared as I've ever seen him! What a dork. Man, he got in so much trouble. Good times!

Keep it rolling, Charlene!

 

[BRDof3]

She was back at camp, snoozing in the AC of the Aliner. She likes to take midday naps, and she was due for one! I'm admittedly kind a freak about her -- she's like a child to me -- so we never left her alone in the Aliner for very long, even though she would just curl up on the bed and nap.

Is that any way to talk about your wife, or did you forget that those two names are being used by the same person? This just gets better by the day.

 

[Mrs. Troll]

I admit I do like a good midday nap in a nice cool camper. Athlough the beds were a little uncomfortable.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

Troll,

I just want to tell you how much I am enjoying your trip report. I too grew up going to Fort Wilderness every year, driving down from NH with my parents. I continued to go with them after I got married and began my own family. My kids and husband LOVE Fort Wilderness as much as I do. I am around your age and can relate to so many of your memories! I look forward to reading more, thanks so much for sharing!!

 

[storyteller]

enjoying every bit of your TR.

 

[takeme2epcot]

Troll,

I just want to tell you how much I am enjoying your trip report. I too grew up going to Fort Wilderness every year, driving down from NH with my parents. I continued to go with them after I got married and began my own family. My kids and husband LOVE Fort Wilderness as much as I do. I am around your age and can relate to so many of your memories! I look forward to reading more, thanks so much for sharing!! Heidi

Hi, Heidi! And welcome to the boards and welcome to the Troll's Trip Report!

The Fort is an addictive place. Once you've been there, you can't help but long to go back. It really helps, too, that we have so many memories attached to it. I've found trip reporting a lot like pictures. When you take a bunch of pictures, it's much more fun to look through them with other people than it is to look through them yourself.

Trip reporting is like that, only with thousands of people! Great fun.

Thanks for the very kind words!

enjoying every bit of your TR.

Glad you're still hanging in there! And I'm glad you're still enjoying the ride.

So we've solved the mystery of the old loading dock thing along the path leading to the Pioneer Hall -- it was an entrance deck to a sample Fleetwood trailer the Fort used to rent. Funny how once a mystery is solved you're kind of disappointed by the answer? You almost want the mystery to remain a mystery.

Kind of like "Lost." When they'd explain why there were polar bears on the island, you'd be like, "Oh."

Yes, I watched "Lost." Can you tell? I really liked that show until the last three seasons. They jumped the shark once they blew up the hatch.

Anyway, sorry for the tangent there.

Back to the show.

Mrs. Troll and I were up at the Pioneer Hall rocking away on the rocking chairs. We did that a lot. Mrs. Troll really likes the porch and the rocking chairs. We could sit there all day and be entertained by the kids on the playground and the tired but happy folks streaming in from the docks. Who needs the Magic Kingdom?

Oh, shnap! Did I just say that?

Never mind.

But we couldn't stay on the porch forever. Zoe was back at camp, and she was probably rousing from her midday nap. I also wanted to browse around the Meadow Trading Post. You see, Daryl, the master fisherman I met who lives at the Fort six months out of the year, had cool Fort Wilderness shirt, and I wanted one. It was one of those button down denim shirts with the FW logo on the pocket.

Here it is, although you can't see the logo on the pocket:

Goes great with jeans.

And not too nerdy.

I was willing to pay $40 for that little embroidered logo.

And Pop would not approve. I could hear him now: "You could buy that shirt at the outlet mall for half the price! You'd be paying $20 for an embroidered logo!"

Exactly.

Mrs. Troll knew I wanted a Daryl shirt, so she checked the Settlement Trading Post. Well, as any veteran Fort goer knows, the selection at the Settlement Trading Post is a bit, well, lacking.

So if there was any chance of me getting a Daryl shirt, it was at the Meadows Trading Post.

So we picked up Zoe and took her along for the ride:

Notice that Mrs. Troll is wearing a windbreaker. It was chilly, especially while riding on the cart. We brought along a Mexican blanket, too, which I'd wrap Zoe in.

So the plan was for me to run in to the trading post while Mrs. Troll stayed back on the cart, watching Zoe.

I took the camera inside, of course.

Now the Fort may have been a bit slow in getting the Christmas decorations up this year, but not the merchandise:

Also noticed that someone arranged a Mickey head out of the checkers on the checkerboard:

Is that person here on the boards, reading this report? Maybe? Or did a friendly cast member do this?

Also notice the Musket Mickey emblems on the checkerboards. Such a nice touch. I didn't notice them until now. Otherwise I would have zoomed in so we could see them in full detail.

These Mickey gnomes are very cool:

And here's one of the rock and mineral table thing:

And this shot is horrible:

Sorry. My camera is not great in low light, and to fill the frame the way I wanted to, I had to zoom in tight, but then the combination of slow shutter, lots of zoom, and a shaky troll hand (claw?) results in an embarrassingly blurry picture.

Suddenly a thought bubble appeared over my head, and an image of a bored Mrs. Troll and an eager scruffy dog sitting all alone on a Kenny golf cart in the Meadow Trading Post parking lot filled it. So I got back to looking for my Daryl shirt.

No dice.

So I asked a cast member. She informed me, interestingly, that the only souvenirs they had with a Fort logo on them were a postcard and a pin.

You read that right -- a postcard and a pin.

A flipping postcard and a $2 pin?!?

Marketing opportunity completely and foolishly missed?!

By Disney?!

As she told me that, I stood there, dumbfounded. My brain got parity error.

Does not compute.

Does not compute.

Error. Error.

Money + Merchandise = Disney -> TRUE

Money + No Merchandise = Disney -> ERROR!

So the cast member could clearly see the confusion on my face and tried to immediately snap me out of my zombie-like trance: "Well, sir! Sir! Hello, sir? They tell us we'll be getting some Fort merchandise soon! That's what they tell us!"

So I finally snapped out of it. "Oh," I said, "OK..."

Not having merchandise for the campground is a bad omen. Very, very bad.

To me, anyway.

So I thanked the cast member and headed back out the door to report the news to Mrs. Troll.

When I did, she fell into the same confused trance.

When she finally snapped out of it, we both agreed that not having a full gamut of Fort merchandise was just plain idiotic and the Disney suits who made that blunder should be tarred and feathered.

Then we decided to drive through the Meadows rec area, since we were in the neighborhood.

And as we rode through, lo and behold, there they were...

Shuffleboard players!

Earlier in the Troll Trip Report I wondered if shuffleboard was even really a game, as I had never witnessed anyone actually play it. Then a friendly Dis board member Polka Dot Suitcase informed me otherwise:

Yep. Pretty darn easy -- you just try to get your discs onto the highest points, and knock off your opponents' discs from doing the same. My grandfather was a bigwig at the Buffalo airport and when we were kids, we could use the hotel pool. Spent lots of time playing shuffleboard. (When we weren't diving underwater to avoid hearing the planes screaming overhead.)

When they encountered their first board, my own kiddos figured out the rules in seconds flat, but they're pretty sports-and-game-oriented.

But despite this assertion, I was still skeptical.

I refused to believe that shuffleboard was a real game.

But then these guys proved me flat wrong and debunked my conspiracy theory:

As we rode up, Mrs. Troll exclaimed, "Look, Norm! There you go! Those boys are playing shuffleboard!"

So I shouted to the boys if they would mind if I took their picture. Notice the one boy is standing at near attention!

Since we were in the area, we realized we were kinda hungry. So we decided to grab some BBQ from the Meadows takeout window. Mrs. Troll agreed to go stand in line while I babysat Zoe.

So I snapped a few more detail shots:

Notice the sheet of metal they attached to the supporting log's outcropping. Good way to prevent wood rot.

And I'm always impressed by the structural engineering of the Fort:

Just imagine how much weight those log trusses have to support!

Here's one using a very shallow depth of field:

And here I tried to capture the water droplets frozen in the air, but it didn't quite come out:

Notice the boy's shirt says, "Master of Disaster"! Funny what you notice after you snap a shot.

So up next, we eat our BBQ and the Kenny Cart thieves raid the Fort's basketball courts!