To spank or not to spank

[HappyMommy2]

I spank only for things like sticking objects into electrical outlets, running out into the street, biting, etc. The other day I swatted my 2-year-old on the bottom (in public! ) when he suddenly laughed, jerked his hand out of mine, and started to run off in a busy parking lot. The swat got his attention, and he hasn't tried that again since (and of course I've been keeping a firmer hold on his hand as we walk along too!).

I've found that I virtually never spank my 4-year-old. By age 4 you can reason fairly intellligently with kids, and there are better ways to really get their attention, even in dangerous circumstances, than spanking. But at age 2 and 3 sometimes spanking--administered lovingly and not angrily, of course--can be an effective tool in keeping little ones out of trouble.

 

[shortbun]

I've been able to parent my very active and intelligent 8yo DS
without spanking. If I can do it, anyone can. DS is polite, well
behaved, appropriate and compliant. Other parents comment
about how well behaved he is in their presence. I was spanked;
it made me resent my mother. I still resent her for not taking the
time to act instead of react. I probably do other things I'll regret later; spanking will not be one of them. I think it's a lazy form
of parenting. I will never understand what a small child could do
that would make it ok to hit them. I can not believe that any
adult could really do it without anger or another emotion clouding
their judgement. IMHO, it's cold.

 

[Pop Daddy]

If you believe the Bible is from God, then you believe in it PROV 29:15

 

[WooWoo]

I have a DD(5) and I do not spank her. I am a firm believer in communication.... kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Besides, when your child is in their teens spanking is out of the question... better make sure they understand that when you say something you mean it and the sooner you start talking with your child the easier it will be. JMO

 

[ginna74]

I remember thinking I too would NEVER spank. after a zillion years later and 2 kids, I do spank and it USUALLY works. It never works alone though and time outs plus a serious talking to does the trick. Now this is coming from a hyper active family. both me and hubby were/are and kids are now showing signs. Have been tested and such. They aren't as of then... but was told they were borderline. So sometimes I even have to HOLD them and talk soothenly and just tell them how much I love them. It does the trick always when they are out of control... well we only do it with son now..

 

[Aimeedyan]

I do not plan on hitting my children, no.

I find spanking to be ineffective in 99% of the cases, and usually just out of anger and desperation on part of the parent. There are many many many other ways to discipline a child that are much more developmentally appropriate.

And I hope I can remember my reasons for NOT wanting to resort to it in the heat of passion with a future child... because I know it will happen... and I will be tempted...

 

[Disney Doll]

I was spanked very rarely as a child...maybe 2-3 times...so it was effective when my parents did it, because it was unusual.

I think if you spank too much, the child becomes "immune" to the effect of it. It becomes common occurrence, and not unusual.

 

[kild]

I received a spanking after I repainted the house, on the brick, with spray paint.

23 years later and I still will not touch a spray can.

So, yes, I do spank my children. My nine year old will gladly tell you that it is very effective.

 

[Alice28]

I spank, but not in anger. I spank if a child has put themselves in danger, as other posters have mentioned- running into the street, electrical sockets, etc., or biting, deliberately disobeying after being told what to do several times. My 6 year old rarely gets a spank anymore, 2 year old still gets a swat on the hand or bottom occasionally (like today- he kept throwing sand at his brother, and after repeatedly being told no, being taken away from the sandbox, put in timeout, etc., he did it AGAIN, so he got his hand slapped. He stopped after that.) I only spank once, with my hand, but I make sure it stings. I was spanked with a belt and a stick, and my dad did it in anger.....I will never forget how I felt as a child when he did that, and I won't do that to my kids. I wouldn't say my father beat me, but he went a little too far two or three times and he has apologized for it when I was older, so all is well.

 

[DSNY FN]

I agree I spank and punish my kids my wife tries the time out thing and sendig them to thier rooms that is just sending them to a place they feel is safe so it really isn't a punishment in my opinion. I give them a swat and mae them sit in a chair inthe kitchen with nothing around them so they can think about what they have done. After a few minutes I sit down and talk to them and 9 times out of 10 they will say sorry and that usually doesn't happen again.

 

[faithinkarma]

I was never spanked as a child. I never spanked my own children. I simply disagree with it because my gut tells me it is wrong. I also believe it to be unnecessary.

I ran a daycare for many years. I often had some of these children in my home for weekends or extended periods of time, during family crises etc. I had some very difficult children enrolled over the years. Not that I would have, but I was, of course, not allowed to spank them. And yet, they were obedient happy children with me.

My point being that even if I had been infavor of spanking, I had to come up with more creative forms of discipline when dealing with other peoples' children. It can be done.

I learned very early in the game that every child has a "key". Every one of them has something they value so much they will do whatever it takes to keep it. For example, some kids thrive when outside. Keeping them in for a short time works as a punishment every time.

I agree that a time out in their room is of little value usually. But a time out off in a corner, out of the action, works wonders.