To All Grandma's... Your Experiences...?

[PebblesMK]

I believe my mom was 39 when I had my daughter. She wasn't ready to be a grandma, but I think she had the thinking that she'd be doing a lot of the caring for the child since I was a teenager. That wasn't the case, and as everybody else has stated, once that baby arrives, she will fall in love and be a proud grandma.

On the otherhand, there is a girl I know who had her daughter at age 13, and her daughter turned around and had a daughter when she was 13. She became a grandma at 26. To me, that is far too young and I wouldn't want that. I'd still love the baby to pieces though.

 

[laurie31]

Remind your mom that if you get pregnant now, that when your baby is born, you'll be exactly the age she was when she had you.

If she's 55, she's not too young to be a grandmother. I think the idea just makes her feel "old" but she's going to be the age she is, whether there is a baby or not. Would she rather be 80 and waiting to have her first? LOL

I do know lots of people who are being called non-traditional grandparent names because they can't bear the thought of being "Grandma" as it sounds too old. I know a "Bubbles" a "Dear" and a "Lulu." None of them felt "old enough" to be called Grandma.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Okay, you all need to stop. I'm 42 and not old enough to be a mom, much less a granny.

 

[maslex]

I did not go through this with MY mother but this sounded just like my MIL. And my MIL is only like 1-2 yrs younger than my mom. Anyhow, she kept up her comments about her being too young to be a grandmother so she's going to teach the baby to call her "auntie" instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And it's not like she was too young either. I believe she was about 45. Both my husband and I were 24 when we had our oldest son.

She got over it after a while and is now called grandma

 

[clh2]

My mom had a huge crisis when whe was faced with the news of her first grandchild. My mom was in hear early 50's when my sister was pregnant.

Of course - the HUGE crisis is my mom started to wear bifocals about the same time as the baby news.

Nonetheless...my mom is not an engaged grandparent. Never has been. And now that the age range of the grands is from 16-21, nothing will ever change that.

Her loss I'm afraid...but that would be a whole other thread...

 

[acmmommymouse]

Being grandma is the BEST job and title I have ever had. I was never one to rush or push my children into the parenting role. I was always happy to have my fur grandbabies. It wasn't that I didn't want to be a grandma but that i wanted my children to be in a place in their lives to be ready for it. Now that I have my first granddaughter all I do is think about her and am so totally in love with her and my new title!!!!

 

[jackemail]

I was 46 when I first became a grandmother (two more since then). She may want to be involved after she sees new baby, but if she makes the choice not to, that's her loss.

I was hooked once I saw the boy!

 

[sunnyday123]

I'd be seriously miffed if my Mom said that. And then I'd tell her it was fine, she was offiicially not the Grandmother.

My Mother has said being a Grandmother is way cooler than being a Mom-not sure how I take that....

 

[golfgal]

I would just tell her that she can wait to come see your kids until she is ready to be a Grandma then. . I have a strong feeling that once you really are pregnant and especially after the baby comes she will change her mind. I think most new Grandma's look younger then what we envision a Grandma to look like mainly because people don't have the manual labor jobs that wore them out like they did a generation ago. 55 is a pretty average age to become a Grandma, keeping in mind that in her Grandma's generation, people only lived to 70 or so where she can probably expect to live until 90+, thus not feeling like she is in her 'golden years' yet.

 

[Acklander]

I was 47 when I became a grandma. I didn't mind being a grandmother but for some reason the thought of being married to a grandpa skeeved me out LOL

 

[Ceila]

I don't know if your mother really looks young for her age or not, but she's sure acting like a baby.

 

[sunnyday123]

Being grandma is the BEST job and title I have ever had. I was never one to rush or push my children into the parenting role. I was always happy to have my fur grandbabies. It wasn't that I didn't want to be a grandma but that i wanted my children to be in a place in their lives to be ready for it. Now that I have my first granddaughter all I do is think about her and am so totally in love with her and my new title!!!!

Awesome!! My best friend and I have discussed in detail how awesome we are going to be when we're grandmothers-down to the trips we're going to take them on. While I can wait-DD is only 13!!-I truly look forward to the day I have grandchildren. Cookies for breakfast at Grannies!!

 

[golfgal]

I was 47 when I became a grandma. I didn't mind being a grandmother but for some reason the thought of being married to a grandpa skeeved me out LOL

 

[Magic Mom]

Don't "take it" any way. Moms are people too. She was probably just airing her feelings to you, not trying to tell you anything.

 

[luvsJack]

47 here and my second dgd is due in March. Couldn't be happier. I LOVE being a grandma. Already planning dgd(17 months)'s first trip to WDW in a couple of years! Can't wait.

We weren't "prepared" either with first dgd, but couldn't love her more. Its like seeing ds as a baby all over again (but without the "have tos" I only have to do the "want tos".


Being a grandma isn't about being old, its about loving a new child in your life with more love that you knew you had to give!

 

[golfgal]

As I think about this more, looking back at pictures of my Grandparents from when I was a baby/toddler, they LOOKED like Grandparents-gray hair and all. Counting back, my one Grandma was 54/55 when I was born, my grandpa was just about 56 (his birthday was 12 days after I was born). My other Grandma would have been about 60 when I was born, but my mom was the youngest of 8 kids too. Women didn't color their hair like we do now (I would be all gray and I am in my mid -40's) and I think THAT makes a huge difference.

 

[powellrj]

I am someone who did say this many years ago and it is coming back to haunt me!! When my oldest was in HS, I found condoms in my room. Since I had my tubes tied several years earlier I knew they weren't mine. After the whole stay out of my room discussion, I ended with I am not ready to be a Grandmother speech.

He is now 28 and has been married for 2 years and his DW is ready to start thinking about a family. He keeps throwing it up that HIS mom isn't ready to be a grandmother, so they can't have kids yet!!!! She knows how he likes to push my buttons and laughs it off after I explained to her that when he was 17 I wasn't ready to be a grandmother, but now I am fine with it. I also keep telling DD who is 14 that I am not ready for her to make me a grandmother, so I may regret those words some day!

 

[rie'smom]

It's really funny because I used to want grandkids in the worst way and then I was over it. Now I see a few of our friends have become grandparents and they are loving it. Our 2 sons are 35 and 26 and unmarried. The 35 yo isn't dating anyone in particular and the 26 yo is. Our daughter is 16 and irrationally, I'm afraid that if I start wishing for grandkids again, she might grant the wish.
OP, your mom stated her feelings. If you get pregnant, she'll love the baby. Hugs too because you surely have a lot of drama revolving around a maybe baby between your mom and your husband's family.

 

[Buckeye Princess]

Even if she looks 45, that isn't THAT young to be a grandma. My MIL was 46 when DD was born. She was 22 when she had DH and he was 24 when we had DD. All grandparents and parents were through undergrad and married at time of conception. Not sure what could be bad about that.

 

[Lionqueen2]

I love being a grandma. We just had another grandchild a few weeks ago and have another due around Christmas. I'm so excited. I can't wait for our new little one to make his entrance into our family.