Tips for dealing with a nosy neighbor

[dakcp2001]

We are in the process of buying a home. After our last offer fell through after the inspection, we think we have FINALLY found our dream home! I can be a bit "abrupt" at times. I currently have a bad relationship with the neighbors on one side of my home due to their dog running wild and pooping everywhere and a brief dognapping incident.(that was a whole 'nother thread!). Anyway, while looking at my dream house we encountered "Uber Nosey Neighbor" . I would like some tips on being neighborly without having to answer all of her questions in the manner in which I normally would. She is a bit odd, and we were warned by the realtor she is the neighborhood busybody. While leaving the home on our first viewing, she stood in her driveway staring at us. I waved and she ran away as if she thought she might be invisible and my wave broke that illusion. We thought it odd, but whatever. Second viewing she came into the driveway of the home we are looking to buy to stare at us. She peered in my car windows and scurried around watching us, again, odd, and when I said hello she bolted. When I went by this morning, she came over and said hello my name is "uber nosey neighbor" and I was just wondering who you are, where you work, what you are doing, how much you are offering, etc etc etc. She literally fired off like 15 questions while I stood there speechless. I am NEVER speechless. But there I was, stunned. Fortunately we were interrupted by our realtor and she scurried off. Bizarre!

Please share your tips with me on how to be neighborly, without giving her all the info she wants. I was thinking of telling her I went to clown college and work as a clown, but my husband thinks we should not speak to her at all. He said it is like feeding a stray cat, and it would be encouraging her to keep coming back.

 

[disykat]

I would treat her like you would a child who doesn't know better. Kind but firm. Tell her your name, say hello, tell her you aren't going to answer her questions and why. (be specific - that is too personal, I don't consider that an appropriate question for a neighbor to ask, etc.)

It sounds like she's got some issues where she doesn't understand boundaries. You'll have to set them.

 

[Uncle Remus]

We are in the process of buying a home. After our last offer fell through after the inspection, we think we have FINALLY found our dream home! I can be a bit "abrupt" at times. I currently have a bad relationship with the neighbors on one side of my home due to their dog running wild and pooping everywhere and a brief dognapping incident.(that was a whole 'nother thread!). Anyway, while looking at my dream house we encountered "Uber Nosey Neighbor" . I would like some tips on being neighborly without having to answer all of her questions in the manner in which I normally would. She is a bit odd, and we were warned by the realtor she is the neighborhood busybody. While leaving the home on our first viewing, she stood in her driveway staring at us. I waved and she ran away as if she thought she might be invisible and my wave broke that illusion. We thought it odd, but whatever. Second viewing she came into the driveway of the home we are looking to buy to stare at us. She peered in my car windows and scurried around watching us, again, odd, and when I said hello she bolted. When I went by this morning, she came over and said hello my name is "uber nosey neighbor" and I was just wondering who you are, where you work, what you are doing, how much you are offering, etc etc etc. She literally fired off like 15 questions while I stood there speechless. I am NEVER speechless. But there I was, stunned. Fortunately we were interrupted by our realtor and she scurried off. Bizarre!

Please share your tips with me on how to be neighborly, without giving her all the info she wants. I was thinking of telling her I went to clown college and work as a clown, but my husband thinks we should not speak to her at all. He said it is like feeding a stray cat, and it would be encouraging her to keep coming back.

Hang a string out of your mouth, every time she approaches start to drool and say yum, yum.

And take the advice of your husband.

 

[robinb]

We are in the process of buying a home. After our last offer fell through after the inspection, we think we have FINALLY found our dream home! I can be a bit "abrupt" at times. I currently have a bad relationship with the neighbors on one side of my home due to their dog running wild and pooping everywhere and a brief dognapping incident.(that was a whole 'nother thread!). Anyway, while looking at my dream house we encountered "Uber Nosey Neighbor" . I would like some tips on being neighborly without having to answer all of her questions in the manner in which I normally would. She is a bit odd, and we were warned by the realtor she is the neighborhood busybody. While leaving the home on our first viewing, she stood in her driveway staring at us. I waved and she ran away as if she thought she might be invisible and my wave broke that illusion. We thought it odd, but whatever. Second viewing she came into the driveway of the home we are looking to buy to stare at us. She peered in my car windows and scurried around watching us, again, odd, and when I said hello she bolted. When I went by this morning, she came over and said hello my name is "uber nosey neighbor" and I was just wondering who you are, where you work, what you are doing, how much you are offering, etc etc etc. She literally fired off like 15 questions while I stood there speechless. I am NEVER speechless. But there I was, stunned. Fortunately we were interrupted by our realtor and she scurried off. Bizarre!

Please share your tips with me on how to be neighborly, without giving her all the info she wants. I was thinking of telling her I went to clown college and work as a clown, but my husband thinks we should not speak to her at all. He said it is like feeding a stray cat, and it would be encouraging her to keep coming back.

I remember the dog napping incident .

This neighbor sounds ... well ... crazy. I mean that in a literal way. She sounds mentally disturbed. She must have been stalking the other buyers if the realtor warned you about her! I guess I would try to answer as few questions as possible and excuse myself with a smile. You don't want to burn bridges right away but there is also no reason why you should feel obliged to answer her questions.

I guess I would be worried that she wasn't "mostly harmless" (as it appears) and capable of making your new neighborhood as uncomfortable for you as the last one. Have you met any of the other neighbors? Maybe you can ask them about her odd behavior.

 

[dakcp2001]

I have a feeling shes going to end up getting the sprinklers if we move in. I think you can be as nosey as you want from your property. I work nights so I use sprinklers to run people off that don't take normal cues.

 

[DebbieB]

I thought I had nosey neighbors! About a year ago I moved into a townhouse and found out how living close together can be. A couple of weeks ago my neighbor made a comment that I must have got a high electric bill since I wasn't using my air conditioning! Our outside fans are right next to each other and I guess she didn't hear mine on. I work all day and just turn on the ceiling fans when I get home, that's enough for me if the weather is in the low 80's. My bedroom is on the first floor so it doesn't get hot. I just couldn't believe that she knew that I wasn't using my AC! Most of my neighbors are retired and I think they don't have anything better to do than watch what is going on in the neighborhood!

 

[usnuzuloose]

Sometimes you need to be a little bit brute about it. She needs to understand looking in car windows is a little more than nosy. The only time that should happen is if you hear something from a car that could harm an animal or person. But to me that is more than being nosy. I would also let her know in a firm but polite way you won't answer questions that are personal to you. Sounds like your other neighbors never stood up to her.

 

[hlg22]

I am the master of providing really vague, noncommittal answers to rude or intrusive questions - I find that generally bores the Nosys and they move on. But be aware that nosiness won't stop when you move in...my elderly neighbor sits out on his porch all day and will comment/provide unsolicited advice on my guests, my house, etc. One evening a friend of mine happened to be in my neighborhood unexpectedly and was knocking on my door to see if I was home - it was late but not too late, around 9:30. All of a sudden she hears "can I help you?" and said that even after she explained she was just stopping by to see if I was home he watched her like a hawk until she got back in her car and drove away. But I generally just ignore/provide vague responses and it doesn't bother me too much.

On the plus side, there's no way a burglar's getting into my house.

 

[Tozzie]

We are in the process of buying a home. After our last offer fell through after the inspection, we think we have FINALLY found our dream home! I can be a bit "abrupt" at times. I currently have a bad relationship with the neighbors on one side of my home due to their dog running wild and pooping everywhere and a brief dognapping incident.(that was a whole 'nother thread!). Anyway, while looking at my dream house we encountered "Uber Nosey Neighbor" . I would like some tips on being neighborly without having to answer all of her questions in the manner in which I normally would. She is a bit odd, and we were warned by the realtor she is the neighborhood busybody. While leaving the home on our first viewing, she stood in her driveway staring at us. I waved and she ran away as if she thought she might be invisible and my wave broke that illusion. We thought it odd, but whatever. Second viewing she came into the driveway of the home we are looking to buy to stare at us. She peered in my car windows and scurried around watching us, again, odd, and when I said hello she bolted. When I went by this morning, she came over and said hello my name is "uber nosey neighbor" and I was just wondering who you are, where you work, what you are doing, how much you are offering, etc etc etc. She literally fired off like 15 questions while I stood there speechless. I am NEVER speechless. But there I was, stunned. Fortunately we were interrupted by our realtor and she scurried off. Bizarre!

Please share your tips with me on how to be neighborly, without giving her all the info she wants. I was thinking of telling her I went to clown college and work as a clown, but my husband thinks we should not speak to her at all. He said it is like feeding a stray cat, and it would be encouraging her to keep coming back.

Just tell her, when she asks a question Oh you know that is a closely guarded security secret and if I answer you someone has to dispose of you I lost too many neighbors at my last residence. Therefore I dont answer questions anymore then walk away I was good for 3 years when I told my neighbor that she was affraid to ask questions and say it wi great sincerity.

 

[denisenh]

i would not be buying that house. no way jose.

 

[dakcp2001]

I'm a nurse, it would take a lot more than one whackadoodle neighbor to scare me away from this house. I'm used to dealing with crazy people. I'm trying to be nicer than my normal in order to preserve some neighborly function.

 

[MSSANDRA]

i would not be buying that house. no way jose.

I agree. There are many dream houses out there. I would be thanking the lucky stars you found out about the situation before you signed on that line. If you buy it any way.....at least you know what you will be dealing with on a regular basis. It sounds like a true mental illness. Can you speak to other neighbors and get their take on the situation.

 

[DisMike]

Frankly, this sounds more than just uber nosey. She sounds like she's missing a few screws and bolts.

Just a thought, why are the people that owned the house previously selling? How long has the house been on the market? Why?

You might want to talk to some of the neighbors and see just how big a fruitcake this gal is.

I don't care how nice the house is if you've got Charlie Manson living next door you might want to reconsider.

Sorry. Hope I didn't put too much of a wet blanket on your dream.

 

[dakcp2001]

The sellers have lived in the home since it was built in 1999. They seem like a lovely family, and have outgrown the house. We met them at the first showing. I know a nurse that lives on the street, she knew nothing about this lady.

 

[aaarcher86]

I'm a nurse, it would take a lot more than one whackadoodle neighbor to scare me away from this house. I'm used to dealing with crazy people. I'm trying to be nicer than my normal in order to preserve some neighborly function.

I'm actually all about being a bit curt to ward her off. If you're friendly she will probably pester the hell out of you. If you're kind of cold she is more likely to watch you from a distance.

Is she elderly? Realistically how long will you have to deal with her, KWIM?

If the realtor knows about her I'd ask what she's heard.

 

[denisenh]

I'm a nurse, it would take a lot more than one whackadoodle neighbor to scare me away from this house. I'm used to dealing with crazy people. I'm trying to be nicer than my normal in order to preserve some neighborly function.

i can be crazier than the best of them but i like serenity at home. if i had any advance knowledge of a circumstance such as the one you describe, i wouldn't be scared away, i'd be wise and avoid it altogether. mission aborted. seek alternate route.

 

[bedogged]

Please share your tips with me on how to be neighborly, without giving her all the info she wants. I was thinking of telling her I went to clown college and work as a clown, but my husband thinks we should not speak to her at all. He said it is like feeding a stray cat, and it would be encouraging her to keep coming back.

I recommend that you do not answer any questions. Instead, ASK questions about the neighborhood in rapid succession. Such as, have you lived here long, is this a quiet neighborhood, do you live alone, do you have any children, are there many children in the neighborhood, what ages, Is this a nice place to live, have there been any problems with this house? You might be surprised at all the information you receive.

 

[indygirl99]

I have a few neighbors who are busybodies and I tend to answer in kind.

When my DH moved in shortly before we got married and they asked where he came from I told them "his last home."

They wanted to know where I met him, I told them I just met him on the internet, I didn't think he was a mass murderer but I guess they would soon find out.

I have a friend that is a police officer and when she first visited after I moved in they asked why the police were at my house and I said "Didn't you know parole offices make house calls?" But all the kids love to visit when she is here because she works in the schools frequently so many of them know her also.

The latest was when DH car died and we bought a new car, just like the one I have driven for the last four years right down to the same color. The neighbor said "You have 2 cars exactly alike?" I replied Yep I like to drive my neighbors crazy Is it working?

If you like the house and can ignore nosy go for it.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Nosy is one thing....
But, if she was staking out your car, and actually came onto the driveway on your potential property..... Wow... This is beyond nosey... this is stalking and trespassing. Doesn't seem normal or rational or sane.

I think I would be having some serious second thoughts.

I value my serenity and privacy while at my own home.

I don't know if I would want to live my life dealing with that.

 

[livndisney]

I agree. There are many dream houses out there. I would be thanking the lucky stars you found out about the situation before you signed on that line. If you buy it any way.....at least you know what you will be dealing with on a regular basis. It sounds like a true mental illness. Can you speak to other neighbors and get their take on the situation.

This-we may live on the other side of this lady(or atleast a close relative) we can't wait to move. Save yourself!!!!!!