Tipping for poor service

[dursin]

Ding Ding Ding!

We have a winner!

If you are expected to tip according to what they recommend, then the service should be what we expect from a top company.

Personally if they were not listening to my request after the first couple times I tend to get rather loud and make sure they hear me.

If they don't care about us, why should we care about them?

We don't expect much, but if we make a reasonable request it should be taken care of.

My belief is that the recommended amount is what I tip based on the service I expect...and I expect more from the servers on a Disney cruise ship than I do from the servers at my local pancake house.

 

[Disneyholic]

On our 1st DCL cruise we had late dinner seating and the heat from the Muster drill & not having eaten since lunch I had one of my migraines. We went to dinner and the seas were rough from going over the current leaving port. Between the migraine & the rough sea I was very nauseous. I had my glasses off for most of the meal because they hurt(and I can't see much of anything without them). I only got thru half the meal before I had to head back to the room to lay down. I put on the sea sick bands which took care of the nausea, but I had to sleep to get rid of the headache.

The next day DH & I went to a napkin folding class. During the class the CM teaching the class went around to check out how we were doing with our folding. She got to our table and checked out our folding & as she was walking away she turned around and said "Miss Beverly, how are you feeling today?" I said "Fine" & she said "Happy to hear that" As she walked away I asked my DH if that was our server from the night before and he confirmed that it was. With my glasses off during the meal I could just barely make out a female face the night before. I was amazed that she had not only remembered me, but actually remembered my name.

That night she was serving us, but our assistant server was different. She told us that our assistant was out sick. The next day he was at the icecream bar on Deck 9 and when I saw his nametag & realized who he was I asked how he was feeling. He was surprised that I took the time to ask him.

Be nice to your servers & assistants & you will be surprised at how they will respond. Be nasty and don't expect better in return.

 

[lexlaw69]

I'd be more angry that I was at the table next to you while you monopolized the server and made them jump thru your ***** hoops. If you were treated rudely that is a different thing alltogether but you were just being a snob.

I was the person who was more forgiving. Last, I didn't generalize - I said 50% of the commentators here are nuts for the demands that you put on a service cruise and I stick by that (actually the nut ratio appears to be much less than 50% - I think most human beings would not treat a service person like that).

So consider yourself to be (in my opinion) in the snobby 1%. The snobby 1% monopolize the servers time ruining it for others, the snobby 1% hold back on tips for minor issues (its ok i'm sure it wasn't because you overspent in some port), the snobby 1% go all "mama bear" when the server does something that they are trained to do and has worked for the other 99%.

Our server put our daughter in her chair every night, cut her pizza for her and was amazing (and I moved the silverware because it was no big deal and i'm responsible for my daughters safety not DCL). At the begining of the cruise our daughter gave us a look like "who's this guy" putting me in a chair - had she freaked out I wouldn't have punished the server.
If the script on the cruise is to put the kid in a high chair and the server does that and your kid freaks out (and go all "mama bear" as some said) then I don't think it is the server's fault. Maybe instead you should go to DCL and get the rules changed - but I certainly wouldn't take away from a person's income for that.

*******

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[kimpossible]

I'm really hoping the moderators check in soon and close this thread. The OP has definitely gotten her response and now people are just being nasty.

 

[KingRichard]

I'd be more angry that I was at the table next to you while you monopolized the server and made them jump thru your ***** hoops. If you were treated rudely that is a different thing alltogether but you were just being a snob.

I was the person who was more forgiving. Last, I didn't generalize - I said 50% of the commentators here are nuts for the demands that you put on a service cruise and I stick by that (actually the nut ratio appears to be much less than 50% - I think most human beings would not treat a service person like that).

So consider yourself to be (in my opinion) in the snobby 1%. The snobby 1% monopolize the servers time ruining it for others, the snobby 1% hold back on tips for minor issues (its ok i'm sure it wasn't because you overspent in some port), the snobby 1% go all "mama bear" when the server does something that they are trained to do and has worked for the other 99%.

Our server put our daughter in her chair every night, cut her pizza for her and was amazing (and I moved the silverware because it was no big deal and i'm responsible for my daughters safety not DCL). At the begining of the cruise our daughter gave us a look like "who's this guy" putting me in a chair - had she freaked out I wouldn't have punished the server.
If the script on the cruise is to put the kid in a high chair and the server does that and your kid freaks out (and go all "mama bear" as some said) then I don't think it is the server's fault. Maybe instead you should go to DCL and get the rules changed - but I certainly wouldn't take away from a person's income for that.

*******

These days you don't ever touch someone's child EVER!

I don't care where you come from or who you are.

Now if they ask in advance would you like some assistance with the child then that is different as you can keep a eye on them and your child to see how they react.

I don't think anyone wants a upset child ruining their night or anyone's near you.

 

[lexlaw69]

and then you would be complaining about a standard Disney (and most cruise lines) practice of putting the kid in the chair to assist the parents (probably resulting in the loss of a tip). Again, not the servers choice - it is something they have been trained to do blessed upon by Mickey himself.

 

[GhostlyHitchhiker]

and then you would be complaining about a standard Disney (and most cruise lines) practice of putting the kid in the chair to assist the parents (probably resulting in the loss of a tip). Again, not the servers choice - it is something they have been trained to do blessed upon by Mickey himself.

I wouldn't (personally) fault or deduct tips from a server who tried to put my child in a high chair once. If I specifically say not to (for whatever reason quite frankly. *I* am the parent and know my child best.) and they proceed to do it again to the point where the kid is crying? Then yeah, I'm going to be an unhappy customer.

I don't make "overly demanding requests" (and I think you are out of line for saying some of the reasonable requests here are so overreaching) and we have no food allergies in our family, but we DO have vegetarians. If they had been served a prime rib for dinner there would have been issues. Or worse, given them a dish that had meat you wouldn't realize was there at first (soups, etc are often like this).

I've worked in the service industry and done the servers job. I understand what it's like and I have seen rude people onboard the ship and in the parks treat cast members like trash. I'm usually the one who goes up to them afterward and has kind words or says something to the guy being a jerk. I don't think anyone in this thread are those people.

Some issues are a little iffy, like considering drink orders on the table without asking to be "average" service. I'm one of those that usually orders something different every night. I tend toward iced tea and then either wine/beer depending on what I chose to eat so I can go either way on that one.

I also don't prefer the servers cutting up my children's food. Either I will do it for them or they can do it themselves. Our girls were both using knives well (other than meat which tends to be tougher) by 3 or 4 so it wasn't too big of an issue. Our server insisted so that the adults could enjoy their meal, which was very sweet, but I know they are busy and I'd rather do it myself and not have them have to do it.

Like many others have said, I don't dock tips for average service or even understandable mistakes. I dock tips for egregious or constant mistakes and/or neglect/indifference when issues try to be fixed. I also overtip when someone shows they just CARE.

 

[GhostlyHitchhiker]

I think you sound like a great parent for protecting your child

Oh, and thanks.

Oldest DD is now 12 and still a sensitive child sometimes (getting better though, she's finally finding her confidence). The Momma bear still comes out even though she's in middle school and taller than me!

 

[Dicecatt]

I'm really hoping the moderators check in soon and close this thread. The OP has definitely gotten her response and now people are just being nasty.

It isn't "People", it is one person, and I do sincerely hope the moderators are taking notice. It isn't the thread that is the problem.

 

[tinkerone]

It isn't "People", it is one person, and I do sincerely hope the moderators are taking notice. It isn't the thread that is the problem.

agreed, and i think the problem is a bit bitter.
something happened somewhere......

 

[SoCaOC-Mom]

Are you choosing to sit in a high chair? Generally the highchair is in place before the guests are seated, so I don't think that space is an option for an adult. As the OP you quoted stated, it's wouldn't be too challenging to simply remove all the silverware or breakables that are placed in front of an infant/toddler seat.

To each their own. As I stated...I would NOT want the server dictating where I sat. If my table mates beat me, fine but I don't wanna be told where to sit if I get there early. I will choose my own seat. As I said, just my 2¢.

 

[kimpossible]

It isn't "People", it is one person, and I do sincerely hope the moderators are taking notice. It isn't the thread that is the problem.

Agreed.

 

[lexlaw69]

Kim - I think it is an interesting debate as to what is reasonable and what isn't. It is "minutia" to hear about what people tipped for and what they didn't - but isn't that the original question? Whether they should lower the tip or not? I've been amazed (jaw agape) reading what people took away from people's income for. Did you see all the single mom's on the boat? You think its ok to take away their money because of some small violation??? Really?

I'm more offended about customers not tipping over minor service violations. The smallness of what i've seen here is amazing - to not tip someone who wholly depends on the tip for nearly the entirity of their income shocks the conscious. Again, they're not tipping because of a perceived service shortage not rudeness. Most of the situations listed here have been iffy - "my kid cried" "there was silverware in front of my plate" "they didn't remember me" "shellfish gives me diareahha [haha]"

Did the food get to the table hot? Was your waiter/waitress personable? Was your order accurate? Was the issue within the servers responsibility? If no, did you give a chance to remedy the situation? I think its amazing service if someone rememebers your preferences and should be tipped accordingly. But if they are merely friendly, and entertain you but forget that you don't like peas maybe you are being a little harsh.

So I guess I can get banned for giving an opinion on a cheapskate but i'm ok with it.

 

[lexlaw69]

Yeah, i'm bitter because I don't think its right to lower someone's income over petty issues.

 

[Mindyjoy]

So I guess I can get banned for giving an opinion on a cheapskate but i'm ok with it.

The backlash isn't coming from just giving an opinion, it's the way you are giving it.

 

[tinkerone]

Kim - I think it is an interesting debate as to what is reasonable and what isn't. It is "minutia" to hear about what people tipped for and what they didn't - but isn't that the original question? Whether they should lower the tip or not? I've been amazed (jaw agape) reading what people took away from people's income for. Did you see all the single mom's on the boat? You think its ok to take away their money because of some small violation??? Really?

I'm more offended about customers not tipping over minor service violations. The smallness of what i've seen here is amazing - to not tip someone who wholly depends on the tip for nearly the entirity of their income shocks the conscious. Again, they're not tipping because of a perceived service shortage not rudeness. Most of the situations listed here have been iffy - "my kid cried" "there was silverware in front of my plate" "they didn't remember me" "shellfish gives me diareahha [haha]"

Did the food get to the table hot? Was your waiter/waitress personable? Was your order accurate? Was the issue within the servers responsibility? If no, did you give a chance to remedy the situation? I think its amazing service if someone rememebers your preferences and should be tipped accordingly. But if they are merely friendly, and entertain you but forget that you don't like peas maybe you are being a little harsh.

So I guess I can get banned for giving an opinion on a cheapskate but i'm ok with it.

its not the giving of your opinion, everyone has them and is entitled to it, its how you give it. its mean at best. try and be softer, thats all.

 

[KSDisneyDad]

I'm really hoping the moderators check in soon and close this thread. The OP has definitely gotten her response and now people are just being nasty.

It isn't "People", it is one person, and I do sincerely hope the moderators are taking notice. It isn't the thread that is the problem.

agreed, and i think the problem is a bit bitter.
something happened somewhere......

I'm not sure it's just one person with personal attacks. There are some valid points that are being overshadowed by the overall tone of the posts. I've seen personal attacks on both side of this issue so I don't think anyone can claim the moral high ground. It should be the topic being discussed, not a discussion of the people making the points. In my experience, this is what gets these types of threads closed.

 

[GhostlyHitchhiker]

Again, they're not tipping because of a perceived service shortage not rudeness. Most of the situations listed here have been iffy - "my kid cried" "there was silverware in front of my plate" "they didn't remember me" "shellfish gives me diareahha [haha]"

Did the food get to the table hot? Was your waiter/waitress personable? Was your order accurate? Was the issue within the servers responsibility? If no, did you give a chance to remedy the situation? I think its amazing service if someone rememebers your preferences and should be tipped accordingly. But if they are merely friendly, and entertain you but forget that you don't like peas maybe you are being a little harsh.

I think you're being overly harsh to people on this thread for relating their stories. Certainly "not being remembered" isn't going to lose people tips and I don't think I ever saw anyone say that. If they did, there were more issues than just that one with the server in question.

That said, some of the issues are more severe than you seem to understand or care about. "Shellfish aggravates Chrohn's" is a more serious issue. While I don't understand everything about that disorder, I do believe that damage can be done to the entire digestive tract if they eat the foods that agitate their condition (think ulcers/bleeding/etc), not just mild diarrea. The OP also said that her husband is allergic to shellfish. That is a MUCH more severe issue. Have you ever had to deal with a serious food allergy? That can be a minor discomfort to having to be hopsitalized depending on the severity of the allergy. This was not a minor quibble.

Also not a minor quibble is hurting someone's child. The OP's child didn't just whine or cry because the server looked at it wrong (sorry don't recall if it was a boy or girl), but the server was yanking on the child's legs to the point of hurting it. THAT is a much larger issue and one the OP is justified in being upset by imo.

You are allowed to have your own opinions and you are even allowed to speak them, but don't expect people to appreciate your posts when you spend your time attacking people unjustified.

Sorry folks. As I said before, I'm the one who will stand up to the jerks for the cast members when I see it. I'll stand up for people around here too.

 

[Mindyjoy]

its not the giving of your opinion, everyone has them and is entitled to it, its how you give it. its mean at best. try and be softer, thats all.

JINX!!

 

[kimpossible]

its not the giving of your opinion, everyone has them and is entitled to it, its how you give it. its mean at best. try and be softer, thats all.

I agree. Name calling and personal insults about people's infirmities are not helpful when trying to get your point across.