This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[NHdisneylover]

1. I think every IKEA has a supervised play area for children. If you 6 year old cannot handle behaving for the entire duration of the shopping trip (including check out time) perhaps the best approach is to check her into the small land club.

2. If your child is playing with the merchandise and you ask her to stop and she ignores you--GET OUT OF LINE and take the thing away from her. Really. One of wo things will happen: either the people behind you will let you back in (being happy that you controlled your kid) OR you will have to go to the back of the line--and you can make your child stand right there with you the entire time and explain to her that it is HER fault you are now waiting longer because she ignored you.

3. It is my opinion, having worked with lots of kids, that they do not "outgrow" attitudes like you are describing. She will only get worse unless you work to very hard to curb the 'tude NOW.

4. It seems you are disciplinign at home. That's good You still needed to be much faster on the situation in the store and your DD should not have gotten out of IKEA without apologizing for her rudeness to the lady.

5. I agree with many others that you seem to be amused by your child's rude attitudes. This will feed the problem and make it so much worse. If you let this keep up until she is a teen (and then bigger than you) I feel you will really regret it.

Oh, in case there is any confusion--I am squarely on team granny here

 

[ogreenlee]

Oh my God, what a bunch of holier than thous that showed up since I went to bed.

1. I admit in the first post that my child, in so many words, didn't fall far from the tree. I stand up for myself. I have a big mind and big opinions. I don't take a lot of crap from anybody, including her, or anyone else, but since none of you know me, I'll let you know now... I'm one of the most considerate people you'll come across. I open doors, I say "please" and "thank you" every single time. I'm very courteous to those around me. If you see me at Disney, I'll be the one trying to help. HOWEVER, if you try to shove by me, you're going to get an earful.

2. NONE OF YOU WERE THERE. You can go on and speculate what happened and what you'd do, but most of you are just flappin' your jaws. I seriously doubt that you'd be handin' out butt-whoopins right there, but tell yourself that all you want.

3. My child learned how to flip the bird the other day on the bus. Some little boy taught her this and told her it meant that whoever you point it to means "you hate god." Well we corrected her on this, as she didn't even know what it meant. I explained that it was a bad word in sign language. I did not punish her because that would have been STUPID.

4. Some of you have ZERO reading comprehension and some of you have ZERO sense of humor. Those of you so overly-dramatic in your opinion of me can keep that attitude, because I'm currently making my own judgments on you right now. What do you think about that?

5. For those of you who would call a kid a brat without even having met them should really be ashamed of yourselves. There's a handful of your riding each other's coattails on the granny train, and you look pretty pathetic. Why don't you go spend some more time beating your kids into submission? Oh wait, you don't have to, because your children are perfect angels. Yeah, I'm the mom to the snowflake. LOL

6. 666 booga booga booga - Yeah, I will always take up for my child while she is a child. Does that mean she's right? NO. That means I am her MOTHER and I am her ADVOCATE. She doesn't have another.

7. Get over yourselves. I was just telling a story, and yeah, I should have known that TEAM PRESUMPTUOUS would come out in full storm.

 

[Longsx3]

OP I only read the first two pages so forgive me if this was already mentioned, but when I first began reading the post...ikea and bored child I wondered why you did not sign her into the play center. They are fabulous. My DD(13) wishes she could still get into to one, but she is too tall and too old Ikea is the store equivalent to the Melting Pot, it is never quick!

As for the Elderly Woman, I am sure she thought she was helping you. She could probably hear the frustration in your voice when your DD would not listen to you. While embarrassing for you that some one intervened, maybe it was an eye opener for your DD. BTW next time I went into a store with your DD I would place her in the cart if she can't stay next to you and follow directions she doesn't get treated like a "big" girl.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I just want to say that if any of my kids are acting up in stores, and are NOT listening to me when I try to get them to stop, Grannies are WELCOME to step in and say something. Perhaps it will be what would get my child to realize how their behavior looks to complete strangers. The shock factor, ya know?

I agree with this also. Grannys (or whoever) can also say something to them if I am not there, or do not see the misbeahviour, etc. Oay DISsers--feel free to tell the NHDisneylover kids to toe the line if ever you see them failing to do so.

 

[Mkrop]

Oh my God, what a bunch of holier than thous that showed up since I went to bed.

1. I admit in the first post that my child, in so many words, didn't fall far from the tree. I stand up for myself. I have a big mind and big opinions. I don't take a lot of crap from anybody, including her, or anyone else, but since none of you know me, I'll let you know now... I'm one of the most considerate people you'll come across. I open doors, I say "please" and "thank you" every single time. I'm very courteous to those around me. If you see me at Disney, I'll be the one trying to help. HOWEVER, if you try to shove by me, you're going to get an earful.

2. NONE OF YOU WERE THERE. You can go on and speculate what happened and what you'd do, but most of you are just flappin' your jaws. I seriously doubt that you'd be handin' out butt-whoopins right there, but tell yourself that all you want.

3. My child learned how to flip the bird the other day on the bus. Some little boy taught her this and told her it meant that whoever you point it to means "you hate god." Well we corrected her on this, as she didn't even know what it meant. I explained that it was a bad word in sign language. I did not punish her because that would have been STUPID.

4. Some of you have ZERO reading comprehension and some of you have ZERO sense of humor. Those of you so overly-dramatic in your opinion of me can keep that attitude, because I'm currently making my own judgments on you right now. What do you think about that?

5. For those of you who would call a kid a brat without even having met them should really be ashamed of yourselves. There's a handful of your riding each other's coattails on the granny train, and you look pretty pathetic. Why don't you go spend some more time beating your kids into submission? Oh wait, you don't have to, because your children are perfect angels. Yeah, I'm the mom to the snowflake. LOL

6. 666 booga booga booga - Yeah, I will always take up for my child while she is a child. Does that mean she's right? NO. That means I am her MOTHER and I am her ADVOCATE. She doesn't have another.

7. Get over yourselves. I was just telling a story, and yeah, I should have known that TEAM PRESUMPTUOUS would come out in full storm.

Holy mackeral!

No we were not there and can only base our OPINIONS on what you posted, sorry if we dont agree with you.

And WTH is 666 booga booga booga

 

[jrmasm]

Oh my God, what a bunch of holier than thous that showed up since I went to bed.

1. I admit in the first post that my child, in so many words, didn't fall far from the tree. I stand up for myself. I have a big mind and big opinions. I don't take a lot of crap from anybody, including her, or anyone else, but since none of you know me, I'll let you know now... I'm one of the most considerate people you'll come across. I open doors, I say "please" and "thank you" every single time. I'm very courteous to those around me. If you see me at Disney, I'll be the one trying to help. HOWEVER, if you try to shove by me, you're going to get an earful.

2. NONE OF YOU WERE THERE. You can go on and speculate what happened and what you'd do, but most of you are just flappin' your jaws. I seriously doubt that you'd be handin' out butt-whoopins right there, but tell yourself that all you want.

3. My child learned how to flip the bird the other day on the bus. Some little boy taught her this and told her it meant that whoever you point it to means "you hate god." Well we corrected her on this, as she didn't even know what it meant. I explained that it was a bad word in sign language. I did not punish her because that would have been STUPID.

4. Some of you have ZERO reading comprehension and some of you have ZERO sense of humor. Those of you so overly-dramatic in your opinion of me can keep that attitude, because I'm currently making my own judgments on you right now. What do you think about that?

5. For those of you who would call a kid a brat without even having met them should really be ashamed of yourselves. There's a handful of your riding each other's coattails on the granny train, and you look pretty pathetic. Why don't you go spend some more time beating your kids into submission? Oh wait, you don't have to, because your children are perfect angels. Yeah, I'm the mom to the snowflake. LOL

6. 666 booga booga booga - Yeah, I will always take up for my child while she is a child. Does that mean she's right? NO. That means I am her MOTHER and I am her ADVOCATE. She doesn't have another.

7. Get over yourselves. I was just telling a story, and yeah, I should have known that TEAM PRESUMPTUOUS would come out in full storm.

Does that mean that you weren't mortified that a stranger commented on your child's behavior?

 

[ogreenlee]

FWIW.. my kid wasn't being mean, having attitude, giving me lip, or anything else. She was just in her own little world with the wrapping paper, which if it means anything or not, isn't one of those big walmart rolls. It's a small roll like you'd find in the giftcard section of your grocery store. Not that any of that is important, but for those of you who would presume that she is running around with some huge mongo roll of paper whopping people on their heads. She was being happy-go-lucky, and there was no reason to turn a simple situation into what it ended up being. Sure she wasn't listening to me, as she was walking to me, trying to twist the roll in her hand. The lady, I assure you, was more annoyed at having to hear me a few times, and decided she should BUTT IN. My kid was NO WHERE NEAR HER as the old lady was in front of me, and my kid was walking up from behind me. And for your information, there were two women behind me with two girls about 8, and one of those girls had apparently gotten in trouble because she was standing there crying, not having her way. Did they annoy me so much that I had to speak my mind to them? Of course not.

Sometimes you pick your battles. The old lady didn't give me a chance to do anything. I wasn't going to step out of the Ikea line, around the big pushcart (not shopping cart) behind me to go get a small roll of paper out of my kid's hand as she was walking towards me. She had just had two good hours inside Ikea. The first time she had any kind of bad attitude was when this lady yelled at her.

So once again... make your assumptions. You know what it is to assume, right?

 

[NHdisneylover]

She had just had two good hours inside Ikea. The first time she had any kind of bad attitude was when this lady yelled at her.

Maybe you missed my posts (and that of the person who paosted right after). WHY didn't you check her into the child care center if two hours in IKEA is a big thing to you and her?

I also am truly curious about this--do you normally allow your child to play with the merchandies in a store. If so, may I ask why?

 

[ogreenlee]

Does that mean that you weren't mortified that a stranger commented on your child's behavior?

i was not mortified. i was stunned. my child was acting up, and not listening to me. i was mortified when my child gave the dirty look, but i also mentioned that i have her in therapy, as well because of her resistance to authority. she's not a little crappy kid. she's actually quite wonderful. she just has a problem being very strong-willed. i'm not going to keep a leash on her, and i'm not going to beat her into submission.

she's not a cry-baby at all. she will cut a dirty look before busting out fake tears. it's just who she is. am i supposed to hate her for it? be ashamed of her?

 

[Lionqueen2]

The OP clearly says that the lady "turned around and said you better listen to your mother". She didn't say that anything almost hit the woman. If the woman had to "turn around" that may even mean that she didn't even know that the child was throwing the thing, she just knew that the mother was repeating herself so the child was not listening. If the child did almost hit her with it, she should have said "be careful, you almost hit me with that. You could hurt someone" or something of that nature; not start threatening with switches.

My problem would not have been that she said something, but that she continued to say something. And that what she said was not helpful to the situation at all.

Actually, no person should ever have to be in a position of speaking to someone else's child about behavior. That should be appropriately taken care of by a parent. Unfortunately, that does not always happen.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've haven't read the eight pages of replies but the older people get, the more the filters come off, and they say what everyone else is thinking. Maybe it's because I have 5 children, but when I stop, I mean stop. After my first time of saying stop, I would've taken the wrapping paper out of her hands. My oldest was/is tough, and thanks to her, I learned very well how to handle the rest of them.

 

[ogreenlee]

Maybe you missed my posts (and that of the person who paosted right after). WHY didn't you check her into the child care center if two hours in IKEA is a big thing to you and her?

I also am truly curious about this--do you normally allow your child to play with the merchandies in a store. If so, may I ask why?

She was fine for the 2 hours. It was just me and her, and we walk through the little rooms together, and she likes going to the kid's section in the store. Our play area at our Atlanta Ikea is kind of bare and there isn't a lot for a 6 year old to do. Also, I'm kind of freaked out about germs right now... so I didn't put her in there. She was totally fine for the two hours. She didn't pitch a fit, she didn't cause commotion, and she was just being a normal kid. She got bored downstairs when I was trying to help my friend on the phone choose blankets for our business, but that was it. That was the only time she was the slightest bit annoying.

She actually is a good kid and I rarely have problems out of her. The only time I had issue was when we got in the line. She was playing with the merchandise that I had put in my cart. I didn't intend to be there as long as I was. We probably could have gotten through there had we not been having a fun time walking through the store together, piddling around.


I don't know why I'm trying so hard to defend myself really. I shouldn't have to, and I've said enough. Keep on judgin'....

 

[NMAmy]

FWIW.. my kid wasn't being mean, having attitude, giving me lip, or anything else.

I was going from your original post in your very first line where you made it sound as though your child deserved it. In which you stated yourself:

Now granted... my kid had it comin',

She was just in her own little world with the wrapping paper, which if it means anything or not, isn't one of those big walmart rolls. It's a small roll like you'd find in the giftcard section of your grocery store. Not that any of that is important, but for those of you who would presume that she is running around with some huge mongo roll of paper whopping people on their heads. She was being happy-go-lucky, and there was no reason to turn a simple situation into what it ended up being. Sure she wasn't listening to me, as she was walking to me, trying to twist the roll in her hand.

If she was just being happy-go-lucky, then why were you telling her to stop:

Anyway... we get to the check-out line and it's long.. very long. My little girl is playing with a roll of wrapping paper that I had picked up. She's tossing it up in the air like a baton (she has gone to her first college ball games the last few weeks, and was taken with the twirler girl) - (i can't remember what they're called). Anyway... I tell her to stop. She doesn't. I tell her to stop again. She doesn't. She just flat out refused to listen to me.

Sometimes you pick your battles. The old lady didn't give me a chance to do anything. I wasn't going to step out of the Ikea line, around the big pushcart (not shopping cart) behind me to go get a small roll of paper out of my kid's hand as she was walking towards me. She had just had two good hours inside Ikea. The first time she had any kind of bad attitude was when this lady yelled at her.

Or when you asked her repeatedly to stop and she ignored you. You even say yourself that you were as mad as all heck at your kid for being rude to the lady.

So once again... make your assumptions. You know what it is to assume, right?

All of my assumptions came from your original post. I understand that you're feeling picked on and it sounds as though you appropriately disciplined your child afterward. But perhaps there is a way to get your child to understand that she needs to behave while you're in the moment instead of later?

 

[Darsa]

I was blessed with an amazingly well behaved shopper of a child (no really!), so all I can offer is sympathy, there.

I guess my question is: you've been here a little while now, I'm sure you've seen how other similar posts are recieved on the CB... yet you're all up in arms about the same exact type of response to your own post? I'm not sure why yours would have been received any differently...

 

[focusondisney]

Op, I get that it happened quickly. No, I don't think you needed to leave the line, since your daughter was coming to you. And you said you were reacting as the older woman started in on your daughter. So seems to me she didn't even give you time to act. And it doesn't seem like she was in danger of being hit by the wrapping paper since your daughter wasn't near her. Those points make me think the woman was out of line & rude to be butting into your business.

I'm definately not into kids "with attitude". I was very strict with my kids & I really feel like alot of these "labels" given to kids wouldn't be needed if there was more discipline. But strangers who think they are free to parent my child with me standing right there? NO WAY! Not even if you are old. (I mean not unless there is poking & name asking involved.)

Now my next question....do we have t-shirts yet?

 

[wdwfan16]

Oh my God, what a bunch of holier than thous that showed up since I went to bed.

1. I admit in the first post that my child, in so many words, didn't fall far from the tree. I stand up for myself. I have a big mind and big opinions. I don't take a lot of crap from anybody, including her, or anyone else, but since none of you know me, I'll let you know now... I'm one of the most considerate people you'll come across. I open doors, I say "please" and "thank you" every single time. I'm very courteous to those around me. If you see me at Disney, I'll be the one trying to help. HOWEVER, if you try to shove by me, you're going to get an earful.

2. NONE OF YOU WERE THERE. You can go on and speculate what happened and what you'd do, but most of you are just flappin' your jaws. I seriously doubt that you'd be handin' out butt-whoopins right there, but tell yourself that all you want.

3. My child learned how to flip the bird the other day on the bus. Some little boy taught her this and told her it meant that whoever you point it to means "you hate god." Well we corrected her on this, as she didn't even know what it meant. I explained that it was a bad word in sign language. I did not punish her because that would have been STUPID.

4. Some of you have ZERO reading comprehension and some of you have ZERO sense of humor. Those of you so overly-dramatic in your opinion of me can keep that attitude, because I'm currently making my own judgments on you right now. What do you think about that?

5. For those of you who would call a kid a brat without even having met them should really be ashamed of yourselves. There's a handful of your riding each other's coattails on the granny train, and you look pretty pathetic. Why don't you go spend some more time beating your kids into submission? Oh wait, you don't have to, because your children are perfect angels. Yeah, I'm the mom to the snowflake. LOL

6. 666 booga booga booga - Yeah, I will always take up for my child while she is a child. Does that mean she's right? NO. That means I am her MOTHER and I am her ADVOCATE. She doesn't have another.

7. Get over yourselves. I was just telling a story, and yeah, I should have known that TEAM PRESUMPTUOUS would come out in full storm.

1) Learning to let things go is a great lesson for you to learn.

2) Since you told the story from your point of view and I still took the other person's side. You most certainly left out some stuff that made the older women look good and she still looked good. I am sure if I was there I would have been cheering on Grandma.

3) She did not use the middle finger so this is a moot point.

4) So you hate holier than thou people except when you are doing it. Got it.

5) If my daughter had been yours I would have told her to stop the first time. If she ignoree me I would have told her a second time. If that did not happen I would have taken the paper from her, told her not to touch it again, pulled her next to me and told her to stand quietly. If she still disobey me then she would be punished when we left the store. Punishment and beating into submission are not the same.

6) I will not advocate for a child who is disobeying me or other adults. She is the child and needs to know her place in the world. BTW it does not revolve around her.

7) So do you.

 

[ogreenlee]

I was going from your original post in your very first line where you made it sound as though your child deserved it. In which you stated yourself:






If she was just being happy-go-lucky, then why were you telling her to stop:





Or when you asked her repeatedly to stop and she ignored you. You even say yourself that you were as mad as all heck at your kid for being rude to the lady.



All of my assumptions came from your original post. I understand that you're feeling picked on and it sounds as though you appropriately disciplined your child afterward. But perhaps there is a way to get your child to understand that she needs to behave while you're in the moment instead of later?

Yes, my kid wasn't listening.. I was getting irritated because she was in her own little world and not doing what I asked her to do. When she finally approached me, she was going to get an earful because she wasn't listening.

Let me ask... do all of your (general your) kids listen every time? If so, I need to find her a new therapist, because mine doesn't listen all the time.

And I even said that I didn't mind the old lady saying anything. I did mind that she scolded my kid, which caused a reaction from my kid that I then had to deal with. It escalated into a bigger situation.

Do I think it's all humorous? Well, I didn't at the time, but I try to find humor in everything instead of being a stuffed shirt full of sanctimony.


Do any of you have guide books you'd be willing to send me?

 

[wdwmom2]

So once again... make your assumptions. You know what it is to assume, right?

I didn't make assumptions. You said she was twirling a roll of paper, you told her to stop, she didn't, old lady spoke up, your DD talked back to her, then the old lady spoke again.

I just told you that I would have handled it differently. I would have taken action right then and there. I did praise your effort at correcting her once home.

 

[ogreenlee]

I didn't make assumptions. You said she was twirling a roll of paper, you told her to stop, she didn't, old lady spoke up, your DD talked back to her, then the old lady spoke again.

I just told you that I would have handled it differently. I would have taken action right then and there. I did praise your effort at correcting her once home.

I apologize, as I really wasn't directing that comment at you, but towards the proverbial gang.

 

[Scurvy]

And for your information, there were two women behind me with two girls about 8, and one of those girls had apparently gotten in trouble because she was standing there crying, not having her way. Did they annoy me so much that I had to speak my mind to them? Of course not.

Well, to be fair, it sounds like there was no reason for you to speak your mind to them. Since you say one of those girls had "apparently gotten in trouble" you obviously weren't aware of it when she was misbehaving. If she was crying, her mom must have already told her "No" or disciplined her, and the girl apparently listened to her mother. If that's the case, she wasn't doing anything that a stranger would need to correct her for.