This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[glitterkittyy]

Well for future reference, if anyone sees my son not listening to me please speak up. I would welcome it if a busybody stuck her nose in our business, especially in Ikea! If for no other reason, I wouldn't want to get stuck paying for all the stuff that my son would probably break if he was twirling and throwing the wrapping paper and dropped it. With my luck, I just know it would hit one of the diplays of fragile things that they have by the registers in that Ikea (probably that giant mountain of those super thin votive cangle holders that break if you look at them!) and I'd be paying for 500 things I don't need and couldn't use anyway since they'd be broken. And of course I also wouldn't want him to hit any other shoppers, either.

I admit I find it weird that the OP was so offended, when I wouldn't have been. Mortified, yes. Offended, not at all. I would have been grateful. But I'm not going to attack her for it. She's entitled to her feelings.

And of course, as usual I'm firmly on Team Codger. Where's my shirt?

I'm beginning to wonder if I *am* a Codger. lol Seems like I might be. Wonder when someone will start a thread about something I did to their kid.

 

[luvsJack]

Actually, no person should ever have to be in a position of speaking to someone else's child about behavior. That should be appropriately taken care of by a parent. Unfortunately, that does not always happen.

Then that person should not decide to put themselves in a position to speak to someone else's child. The child was not hurting the woman or anything else for that matter. The woman took it upon herself to say something, it wasn't necessary.

The parent was taking care of the situation, everyone keeps ignoring that part of her post. She just wasn't doing what the old lady deemed to be appropriate and that was none of her business.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I'm on the team that thinks that no one should raise hell at someone's 6 year old little girl in front of their mom, and that woman was definitely old enough to know better. If she wanted to comment, that would have been fine... depending on the comment. If she wanted to turn around and say, "Little girl, you should listen to your mother."

I think I've earned the right to be the only one who can scold my daughter. I assure you that if I were to do what this old lady did yesterday to any of your children, you would certainly not be on Team Codger... except I'm not an old codger yet. You would then call it Team Biatch and most definitely be on Team Snowflake.

I disagree. If my kids are acting up, and someone said that to them, I would reinforce that the stranger was correct and there would be punishment when we got home. They'd be losing some kind of privilege...probably cable and computer for the day, at least.

 

[luvmy3]

I'm beginning to wonder if I *am* a Codger. lol Seems like I might be. Wonder when someone will start a thread about something I did to their kid.

Well you know the DIS isn't the only message board

 

[luvmy3]

I disagree. If my kids are acting up, and someone said that to them, I would reinforce that the stranger was correct and there would be punishment when we got home. They'd be losing some kind of privilege...probably cable and computer for the day, at least.

But the OP did that anyway, so just exactly what was the stranger's discipline for?

 

[crazee4mickey]

Oh my God, what a bunch of holier than thous that showed up since I went to bed.

Respect for others is something I have really noticed is not as prevelant with people as it used to be and this personally drives me nuts!

I don't see how people are "holier than thou" just because we found your daughter's behaviour rude from your post and didn't think it was as funny as you did

I can't stand to see parents that allow their children to act up without consequences in public.

My kids have tried it...... unsuccessfully---as soon as it started I removed them and yes it has been me carrying them under my arm kicking and screaming out of the store. Sometimes it meant leaving a cart full of items and me apologizing to staff as I hauled them out the door, and heck yeah it was very embarrassing!

But I actually received compliments on doing this, for not allowing my child to get their own way and continue to misbehave and making others uncomfortable.

My kids are far from angels but they do know respect and I make them "tow the line"----they know who he parent is.

The parent is the one responsible for modelling appropriate behaviour

 

[glitterkittyy]

But the OP did that anyway, so just exactly what was the stranger's discipline for?

The kid was ignoring her mother so she wasn't being effective.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Then that person should not decide to put themselves in a position to speak to someone else's child. The child was not hurting the woman or anything else for that matter. The woman took it upon herself to say something, it wasn't necessary.

The parent was taking care of the situation, everyone keeps ignoring that part of her post. She just wasn't doing what the old lady deemed to be appropriate and that was none of her business.

No one is ignoring this, because it didn't happen. The mother corrected her child twice. Both times she was ignored and the child continued to do whatever she wanted. If mom was handling it, the behavior would have stopped. The child had no business twirling or throwing around wrapping paper. Just like children have no business riding bicycles around in Toys R Us while their parents shop, even if they aren't running people over.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Respect for others is something I have really noticed is not as prevelant with people as it used to be and this personally drives me nuts!

I don't see how people are "holier than thou" just because we found your daughter's behaviour rude from your post and didn't think it was as funny as you did

I can't stand to see parents that allow their children to act up without consequences in public.

My kids have tried it...... unsuccessfully---as soon as it started I removed them and yes it has been me carrying them under my arm kicking and screaming out of the store. Sometimes it meant leaving a cart full of items and me apologizing to staff as I hauled them out the door, and heck yeah it was very embarrassing!

But I actually received compliments on doing this, for not allowing my child to get their own way and continue to misbehave and making others uncomfortable.

My kids are far from angels but they do know respect and I make them "tow the line"----they know who he parent is.

The parent is the one responsible for modelling appropriate behaviour

 

[ogreenlee]

Then that person should not decide to put themselves in a position to speak to someone else's child. The child was not hurting the woman or anything else for that matter. The woman took it upon herself to say something, it wasn't necessary.

The parent was taking care of the situation, everyone keeps ignoring that part of her post. She just wasn't doing what the old lady deemed to be appropriate and that was none of her business.

Thank you. My child also wasn't being rude to anyone besides me by not listening, and now I am going to go beat her for being the only child who doesn't listen to their mom. She wasn't rude to the old lady until the old lady scolded her.. and not appropriately. She said it mean to start off with. I was upset that my daughter gave her a dirty look, but you know what? I would have done the same thing. I feel my daughter was put on the defense at that moment. I did go off on my kid right then and there, and told her that was not nice and that she doesn't treat people that way.

I didn't realize I had to give the exact account of every detail. Hold on.. I'm on the phone with Ikea right now trying to see if they have the video of what went down.

I plan on going to Disney in a few weeks and raising hell at every kid that isn't listening to their parents, and wearing a lime green tshirt that says "The Dis'ers say it's A-OK" on the front and "GO TEAM CODGER" on the back.

 

[clovergirl5]

i have no reason to change anything.

i did change a grammatical error that i caught as soon as i posted the very first time.

i'm perfectly fine with all of this; the criticism... and the nice support. i know what kind of mom i am. i know what kind of kid i have. i know that no one was there to actually see it play by play, and i have no recap available. you just have to go on my word of what happened. my kid is a little smartmouth with attitude (sometimes), but she's also incredibly smart, talented, sweet and cute to boot. i will ALWAYS take up for her over anyone else. she's not perfect, and by no means do i treat her as a snowflake. i do not let her roll over me and i do not let her pull the punches. i am strict, but fair. i also know to pick my battles. i'm a hillbilly, but not a redneck. i try to refrain from showin' my fanny even if she is hellbent on doing so herself.

to those who want to speculate and judge my parenting... have at it. i'm opinionated, too, but i do try really hard not to be presumptuous. thanks.

I have only read up to this point...but GOOD FOR YOU OP! I can take a lesson from this (referring to my walmart thread ). The shock of a complete stranger saying these words to or about you or dc is what got to me. I wasn't posting about whether or not I was parenting right, just like that is not was this thread was intended for. I guess you have to add a disclaimer as a poster did last week in her thread = GREAT IDEA
You learn something everyday!

I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves. There is lots that bother me about people out in public, but Im not so rude and obnoxious as to get on someone I don't know to make them behave the way I want them too. Only place that will happen is in my home where I have the right too. I know there are alot of differences in opinions here but this is my opinion.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Well you know the DIS isn't the only message board

True, but I tend to find myself doing this at WDW the most. People think they are on vacation and bad behavior can be allowed, I guess. lol

I remember once when a mom was letting her kids run all over the flowers and plants by Test Track. These plants were up off the ground about 2 feet so obviously not where a kid should be. After watching the kids destroy the plants for a few minutes, I finally said "You know, that's not a playground." And the kids got down. The mom glared at me, and I just glared back. So yeah, I'm a codger but she wasn't doing her job.

 

[Crankyshank]

1. I admit in the first post that my child, in so many words, didn't fall far from the tree. I stand up for myself. I have a big mind and big opinions. I don't take a lot of crap from anybody, including her, or anyone else, but since none of you know me, I'll let you know now... I'm one of the most considerate people you'll come across. I open doors, I say "please" and "thank you" every single time. I'm very courteous to those around me. If you see me at Disney, I'll be the one trying to help. HOWEVER, if you try to shove by me, you're going to get an earful.

You say you don't take crap, but yet you obviously took it from your daughter because she seems to think it's ok to ignore you. Growing up, I knew better than to act up in public because if I were so bad that someone else stepped in and said something, my butt was going to be sore for a month. And I would have to apologize for my bad behavior at the store.

Sometimes someone else saying something is the only way an unruly child will simmer down in public. My friend's three year old pitched her first tantrum at the Dr's office the other day. Nothing was calming her down until another patient gave her a glare and told her to quiet down. She did immediately, and my friend thanked her because she is a big supporter of respecting your elders.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I have only read up to this point...but GOOD FOR YOU OP! I can take a lesson from this (referring to my walmart thread ). The shock of a complete stranger saying these words to or about you or dc is what got to me. I wasn't posting about whether or not I was parenting right, just like that is not was this thread was intended for. I guess you have to add a disclaimer as a poster did last week in her thread = GREAT IDEA
You learn something everyday!

I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves. There is lots that bother me about people out in public, but Im not so rude and obnoxious as to get on someone I don't know to make them behave the way I want them too. Only place that will happen is in my home where I have the right too. I know there are alot of differences in opinions here but this is my opinion.

I'll mind my own business when your (not you, the general you) child's behavior stops interfering with my day. My kids won't bother you so I'd appreciate the same from yours.

 

[luvmy3]

No one is ignoring this, because it didn't happen. The mother corrected her child twice. Both times she was ignored and the child continued to do whatever she wanted. If mom was handling it, the behavior would have stopped. The child had no business twirling or throwing around wrapping paper. Just like children have no business riding bicycles around in Toys R Us while their parents shop, even if they aren't running people over.

She said she told her twice AND she took away the wrap. She also reprimanded her in the car and took away priveledges because of her behavior, what esle did you want her to do, a public lynching?

 

[ogreenlee]

I disagree. If my kids are acting up, and someone said that to them, I would reinforce that the stranger was correct and there would be punishment when we got home. They'd be losing some kind of privilege...probably cable and computer for the day, at least.

I did punish her. She wasn't allowed to do anything when we got home. No TV, no toys, no computer. The only thing she was allowed to do was have plain paper and colors. That was it. Then she went to bed an hour and half earlier than on a school day, when she was so excited about not going to bed at 8, but at 9 b/c she is out of school for the week. She was in bed at 6:30.

Was I supposed to reach back and beat her all the way up I-75?

Should I have snatched the roll of paper and start whacking her with it so that all the other parents and the old codger would applaud my behavior?

I didn't laugh.. . NOT ONCE.. while we were in the store. I was mad as hell. I didn't have to be mad as hell, though. I did have to be mad as hell for her being rude to the old lady after the lady escalated it to that point. Before that, I was just irritated that she wasn't listening.

I have never in my life seen a bunch of women twist and turn a story to suit them so much in my life. I'd say y'all are bored, but obviously I'm here too, and well... Go Team Codger.

 

[glitterkittyy]

She said she told her twice AND she took away the wrap. She also reprimanded her in the car and took away priveledges because of her behavior, what esle did you want her to do, a public lynching?

Nah, that's reserved for the kids with the high pitched squealing. You know the ones.


I kid, I kid.

 

[glitterkittyy]

I did punish her. She wasn't allowed to do anything when we got home. No TV, no toys, no computer. The only thing she was allowed to do was have plain paper and colors. That was it. Then she went to bed an hour and half earlier than on a school day, when she was so excited about not going to bed at 8, but at 9 b/c she is out of school for the week. She was in bed at 6:30.

Was I supposed to reach back and beat her all the way up I-75?

Should I have snatched the roll of paper and start whacking her with it so that all the other parents and the old codger would applaud my behavior?

I didn't laugh.. . NOT ONCE.. while we were in the store. I was mad as hell. I didn't have to be mad as hell, though. I did have to be mad as hell for her being rude to the old lady after the lady escalated it to that point. Before that, I was just irritated that she wasn't listening.

I have never in my life seen a bunch of women twist and turn a story to suit them so much in my life. I'd say y'all are bored, but obviously I'm here too, and well... Go Team Codger.

I didn't say anything about what YOU did. I said what *I* would have done. I said that I would have reinforced that the lady was right to tell her to mind, and I would have taken away privileges. I didn't twist anything. The post I was responding to said that if it happened to us, we would've called the woman a name. My post was saying that's not the case. Geez Louise. Stop being a victim.

 

[Rora]

She did get punished severely as I gave a verbal buttwhoopin' all the way home, and then proceeded to take everything away from her as soon as we walked in the door. Also, she was so excited about being out of school this week, b/c her favorite thing to do is stay up late, and I made her go to bed as soon as we ate dinner, an hour and a half earlier than when she goes to school. I told her this was what she had to do for the rest of the week, as well.

Mom, I think you did the right thing in regards to punishment.

The old woman sounds like my grandma and to be honest, I'm not surprised she said something. I think it's fine to an extent but at the same time, you don't need someone else (except maybe your husband and the rest of your family, ex: your DD's OWN grandma) to intervene on your behalf.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

She said she told her twice AND she took away the wrap. She also reprimanded her in the car and took away priveledges because of her behavior, what esle did you want her to do, a public lynching?

Of course not, I thought we already decided she should be switched?

What did you expect the older woman to do? Stand there while the wrapping paper was flying around near her, but not exactly hitting her? This mom has made more excuses for this child and her behavior that I'm calling bull on the punishment. And FWIW, if the mom was so incensed that the old woman correct her daughter's behavior, which the mom didn't think there was anything wrong with in the first place, why did the mom reprimand her twice if the behavior wasn't inappropriate? I think mom's biggest problem is not what her child was doing, or how her child behaved, but that someone called OP out for not parenting her child. I think that's why the daughter got punished, because mom was embarassed that someone else had to step up.

And OP has already said she'll stand up to anyone and take her daughter's side, so I'm sure school must be a pleasant experience too. I'm sure OP will be complaining about how the teachers are picking on her daughter who doesn't deserve to be punished, even though she was talking back, or rolling her eyes or being fresh to the teacher, because they just don't understand her child.