This old lady at Ikea went off on my kid today.

[ogreenlee]

No the old woman wasn't angry because you didn't beat your daughter, she was angry because you were okay with being ignored by your child. You told her to stop what she was doing twice and your told her to apologize and she ignored you all three times. If you don't have a problem with that, and you think it's cute and just a personality thing, that's on you but don't expect the rest of the world to laugh it off.

yep, i thought it was cute, just like i said two dozen times. she's so sweet and precious when she's like that. i think i'm going to go give her some candy and take her to monkey joe's and remind her that being a little chit to an old lady is the reason why she deserves it so. bye!

 

[glitterkittyy]

When did I say that she wasn't doing anything wrong? This is becoming even too crazy for me.

I also said that the old lady was probably trying to help, but instead she made the situation worse. Had she not been so mean in her initial hell-raising, then my DD would probably not have been so defensive... something she already has issues with, as I've also stated. I've also said, several times over, that my kid was not being mean, but was just not listening to me as I told her to put down the paper. She was smiling in la-la land, having fun. She didn't want me to stop that. I was irritated, but my child was not being mean. There are differences here... and little nuances that NONE of y'all were there to see.

I'm over this whacked party. I'm tired of repeating myself. I am certain that people will want to believe what they want to believe and I see repeat offenders in those that herald themselves to the pedestal.

I could have easily generalized many of your comments and made judgments on your parenting as well. Oh wait, I did.. have fun beating your kids!

But you posted it here on this board for comments and opinions, and that's what you got. If you wanted only opinions that matched yours, you should have said so in your OP.

 

[greenpea89]

"I think people in public should mind their own beeswax and keep their opinions and parenting critiques and advice to themselves"

I stayed out and ate my popcorn on the sidelines till now. This type of attitude is what is just making shopping, going to WDW, going to the theatre, etc. so unenjoyable these days. When you comport yourself and those around you do the same so you don't infringe on my right to an enjoyable, peaceful experience, people will stop buttinig in because there will not be anything to be upset about! A child juggling gift wrap, kids screaming, merchandise being manhandled, people pushing each other, adults who think yelling back and forth is okay, women with their "girls" hanging out or boys with their unders showing, and on and on.....it does affect us all and by being obnoxious with your behavior or not addressing the behavior completely of those you are responsible for (your kids!).....well you've just given me permission to gawk and/or comment. Your attitude is so short-sighted that it is laughable. You're like a smoker who thinks they have the right to have a cigarette wherever they want, regardless of the fact that their smoke is drifting over to others in the area who might not want to have that smoke in their air. Not one of us is the only person "in the moment" in any situation and we have lost sight of common civility and manners both in private and public. Yes, this statement is absolutely a sweeping general statement on our society as a whole.

As far as the OP and the original question.....a good rule of thumb to live by is that when one person tells you something, you can kind of shrug it off as inconsequential. When 2, 3, or 4 say it, you have to start wondering if there isn't some validity to what is being said. When a true majority says something is so, that should tell you something. We can all always find a single person or two to back us on even the wildest things, but usually the majority is in the right. Your original query was whether the older woman's response was appropriate and whether you had a right to be upset. I think you got the answer and it wasn't what you wanted to hear and now you feel compelled to refute every answer given. There is a difference between defending and being defensive. You are jumping at people for not having reading comprehension abilities. May I suggest that you go back and reread all of the comments here without that defensive attitude and really *hear* (comprehend!) what other Moms are trying to tell you.

SO very well said!

OP, since you have stated that your child is in therapy for this issue you may want to print this entire post out and take it to your child's therapist for some insight into the situation. With some distance you may see that while the original situation really wasn't that big of a deal - honestly - how you handled it wasn't effective nor was the "punishment" (and no I do not advocate hitting a child - ever - but there are a ton of very effective discipline methods that would have worked much better than what was chosen).

I know you have stated that you didn't laugh when it happened but your child is keenly aware of your feelings, opinions, and how far she can push you. A six year old is very smart and they know exactly where the acceptable behavior line lies, and a child that knew they were not allowed to behave the way your child did simply wouldn't or they would have apologized when you requested it. You seem flippant and defensive and appear to want to lay all of the blame at the doorstep of the woman who scolded your child. Yes, you have said that you child wasn't behaving and it upset you but you have also spent 14 pages defending her and being upset with the woman at Ikea and other posters. Was it a nice experience to have a stranger say something to your child about their behavior? No, and personally I would have been mortified by my child's behavior if it was so bad that someone felt the need to step in and back me up because I wasn't being an effective parent, but you need to step beyond it, let it go, and look at your issues and those of your child. Good luck!

 

[Darsa]

yep, i thought it was cute, just like i said two dozen times. she's so sweet and precious when she's like that. i think i'm going to go give her some candy and take her to monkey joe's and remind her that being a little chit to an old lady is the reason why she deserves it so. bye!

Ouch. The OP seems to have a bit of a "talking back" problem as well, so um, yeah, I'm starting to see things a little more clearly. I'm sorry y'all have wasted your breath... errr, keystrokes. I don't think she's listening.

 

[clovergirl5]

Note to self...disclaimer in threads = GREAT IDEA!

Steer clear of eh hem, codgers (did I spell that right?) in stores- oh old ladies cause they might bite my head off cause my kid is lookin at em.

Im a redneck

We need behavior plug in...now where to plug it in??

High horses are Pwetty.

My snowflake is all mine, and you can't have her!

I know theres more, hold on...Oh, my snowflake is pushing her shoppin cart around the house and singing for craps sake. Im gonna old codger her

 

[clovergirl5]

yep, i thought it was cute, just like i said two dozen times. she's so sweet and precious when she's like that. i think i'm going to go give her some candy and take her to monkey joe's and remind her that being a little chit to an old lady is the reason why she deserves it so. bye!

Thats what I would do

 

[glitterkittyy]

Note to self...disclaimer in threads = GREAT IDEA!

Steer clear of eh hem, codgers (did I spell that right?) in stores- oh old ladies cause they might bite my head off cause my kid is lookin at em.

Im a redneck

We need behavior plug in...now where to plug it in??

High horses are Pwetty.

My snowflake is all mine, and you can't have her!

I know theres more, hold on...Oh, my snowflake is pushing her shoppin cart around the house and singing for craps sake. Im gonna old codger her

Do you need suggestions for a possible plug in locale?

You only have to codger your snowflake if your neighbors can hear her singing. Haven't you learned yet?

 

[clovergirl5]

Where'd everyone go?? Always a thread killer I am

 

[clovergirl5]

Do you need suggestions for a possible plug in locale?

You only have to codger your snowflake if your neighbors can hear her singing. Haven't you learned yet?

No, I can think of a few places....Oh, then I don't care, let her disrupt my lovely neighbors. Payback for all the partying, and fireworks going off at midnight thru the year. Maybe I need to go codger them

 

[focusondisney]

Note to self...disclaimer in threads = GREAT IDEA!

Steer clear of eh hem, codgers (did I spell that right?) in stores- oh old ladies cause they might bite my head off cause my kid is lookin at em.

Im a redneck

We need behavior plug in...now where to plug it in??

High horses are Pwetty.

My snowflake is all mine, and you can't have her!

I know theres more, hold on...Oh, my snowflake is pushing her shoppin cart around the house and singing for craps sake. Im gonna old codger her

Hi Clovergirl5 & thanks for the thread synopsis!! So very helpful for those of us on the side lines!!

 

[clovergirl5]

Im yaging

 

[glitterkittyy]

Im yaging

You'll be back. We don't believe your YAGEs anymore. lol

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Forget it- not even worth it as I read on I can see that you clearly think your child's poor behavior is funny. No wonder that lady had enough. I can only imagine what really happened.

Oh that behavior must have been so funny for everyone in the store

I'm glad the woman said something....elderly or not enough is enough.

 

[mskayjay]

HAHA I nominate you for snowflake patrol. You could have a cool hat. Horses are arising again!

Im still waiting for my good behavior plug in for my kiddos. Whos sending me theirs?

Sorry, but I truly have no idea what your references mean. If anyone can elaborate, please fill me in.

 

[Lionqueen2]

You and me, both, sister.


PrincessKmom is kind of who I'm speaking about "twisting and turning" a story to suit them. Why are you and a few others so hellbent on making sure that you get to be so sanctimonious that you're calling bullsh*t on my punishment? Are you a joke? This is all so unbelievable to me.

I don't need any of you to tell me whether I'm a good mom or not. I'm not perfect, but none of you are perfect, either. NONE OF YOU. If you claim to be, then you're lying to yourself. However, I do think I'm a pretty good mom, and contrary to popular belief, I have a great relationship with my kid's teacher, and always have from 2year old preschool to now. Her kindy teachers from last year, who know that she has issues with authority, still run up and hug me every time they see me at the school. They also really love her, b/c when she's good... she's really good. She isn't whiney and doesn't complain constantly. She does very well in school, was reading 2nd and 3rd grade books at the beginning of kindergarten, was the first one in kindergarten to go on the Wall of Fame for being an Accelerated Reader. She's very sweet and has a great sense of humor.

Her biggest issue is that she doesn't like being told to do something she doesn't want to do.

If that is the only issue I have (and I'm obviously shelling out big bucks trying to nip it in the bud) the whatever. There are worse things than having a strong-willed child.

There's a kid in her class that whines about every little thing. I can't even stand to be in the class with him because everything is a tragedy. I'll take unruly to constant whine any day.


So, tell me about your kids.

You came here to this board freely to post an incident involving your child and ended up not liking the opinions of some of the posters here. Yet, you formed an opinion and bellittled another child in your daughter's class and felt it was OK to post it on a public board. I wonder how his mother would feel about that.

 

[Missy1961]

I'm getting up there in age (do the math). One of these days, someone is going to start a thread about the old lady in the supermarket that dared to say something to my misbehaving child....and I will be the old lady. Have you any idea how it can drive you crazy to hear a mom or dad say over & over again "please sweetheart, stop bouncing that ball....hitting that thing...bugging your sister...."? It's not fun, let me tell you. And it seems like every week there is another one of these threads. Either there are more old ladies who have had enough & are speaking out or there are more misbehaving kids and/or parents that are at their wit's end.

Online shopping never looked so good!

 

[Scurvy]

Sorry, but I truly have no idea what your references mean. If anyone can elaborate, please fill me in.

They are references to other threads about kids misbehaving in public places, one about a screeching child in Walmart and the other about a "mean old lady" in McDonalds. Clovergirl5 (who had a different name during the Walmart thread; she was the OP) objected to badly behaved kids being called "Snowflakes" and said anyone who criticised the kids and their parents or who claimed their kids didn't misbehave in public was on a high horse.

 

[glitterkittyy]

Sorry, but I truly have no idea what your references mean. If anyone can elaborate, please fill me in.

Snowflake patrol=watching for kids who are special and can do no wrong

Horses rising=A roving gang of people who pick on the OP about her parenting skills

Plug in=a device to make all kids behave perfectly

HTH

 

[mskayjay]

They are references to other threads about kids misbehaving in public places, one about a screeching child in Walmart and the other about a "mean old lady" in McDonalds. Clovergirl5 (who had a different name during the Walmart thread; she was the OP) objected to badly behaved kids being called "Snowflakes" and said anyone who criticised the kids and their parents or who claimed their kids didn't misbehave in public was on a high horse.

Ahhhh....I see! And why is a misbehaving child called a "snowflake"? Just as a reference or was it something from one of those previous threads that brought that name to the fore?

 

[glitterkittyy]

Ahhhh....I see! And why is a misbehaving child called a "snowflake"? Just as a reference or was it something from one of those previous threads that brought that name to the fore?

It's not really a reference to the child as much as the parent. A snowflake has parents who think the child can do no wrong and the world should go out of its way to cater to said child.