This just really annoys me!

[jenny13]

Wow Im joining this late but it definitely is a touchy subject. I don't think the op was trying to attack anybody. The hard fact is society is beginning to accept obesity as part of the norm. Now you may be larger and have all the right blood work numbers and may be thin and be one of the unlucky ones to have bad cholesterol, etc. But as a nurse I can tell you the fact is being overweight contributes to alot of the major health problems Americans face.

Thank You. I have been trying to make this same point. Being overweight can have serious consequences. It's about eating right, exercising and being at a good weight for your body.

 

[luvsJack]

People in general judge others, whether it be men or women. I'm certainly not saying someone has to be size 2 to be healthy, or 4, 6,8 or even 10. I'm sure when you go to the doctor you hear that you should lose weight. It's not about being happy at any size, it's about being healthy.

The post you had replied to had talk of anorexia, which is a huge concern along with other eating disorders. It's not right for parents, peers or anyone else to pressure a girl to be thin. However it's not wrong for those same people to try to instill healthy eating either.

As a parent I am certainly concerned about my children's weight. I make healthy meals, and purchase healthy snacks for them. That is instilling good eating choices into their daily lives. That will only help them as they grow into adults. Does being concerned about my children's weight make me a bad parent? No it doesn't, it makes me concerned for their well being. Of course that is hard at times, and my children are allowed not so good snacks occasionally also, just not on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with being concerned about a child's eating habits, as long as it's done the right way.

I cook healthy meals, make sure dd has healthy snacks. Make sure she eats all the fruits and veggies she needs, she takes a vitamin and iron pill each morning. Very few unhealthy snacks in the house. She is active, riding her horse, swimming all summer, softball, show choir and she goes with me to the walking track and we either walk together or she rides her bike.

BUT, I NEVER mention weight to her. I don't even know what she weighs. I will NOT raise a daughter that is obessed with her weight. I see way too much of it in young girls and if anything is unhealthy that is.

Weight or size does not equal healthy.

 

[Donaldswife]

People in general judge others, whether it be men or women. I'm certainly not saying someone has to be size 2 to be healthy, or 4, 6,8 or even 10. I'm sure when you go to the doctor you hear that you should lose weight. It's not about being happy at any size, it's about being healthy.

The post you had replied to had talk of anorexia, which is a huge concern along with other eating disorders. It's not right for parents, peers or anyone else to pressure a girl to be thin. However it's not wrong for those same people to try to instill healthy eating either.

As a parent I am certainly concerned about my children's weight. I make healthy meals, and purchase healthy snacks for them. That is instilling good eating choices into their daily lives. That will only help them as they grow into adults. Does being concerned about my children's weight make me a bad parent? No it doesn't, it makes me concerned for their well being. Of course that is hard at times, and my children are allowed not so good snacks occasionally also, just not on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with being concerned about a child's eating habits, as long as it's done the right way.

I never said you should not be concerned with your children's weight and eating habits. I agree with what you say that it needs to be done the right way. Obviously the post I was quoting it was being done the wrong way if the Mom was instilling a "thin at all costs, have a slammin body" mentality. I work very hard at instilling proper eating habits in my DD9 because I do not want her to have to struggle as I have for 30 years.

I disagree with your statement that's it not about being happy at any size. You have to be happy with where you are. You cannot sit around being miserable hating yourself and lose weight, it just doesn't work. Believe me, I have been there! You do have to make peace with how you are now, and set and try to acheive realistic goals, bit by bit. You have to be happy at size 20 while you are working for size 18. I know the weight is unhealthy, and that is my struggle. Everyone else has health struggles as well, some are just not as visible as others.

About all humans judging, that is true, but in my experience (and most people I talk to) women are much more unforgiving.

 

[DaParkers]

People in general judge others, whether it be men or women.

True, but women do it at a much higher rate than men. I just don't understand why. For the most part, men don't care if another man's hair is nice, his clothes are fashionable, or if he's fat. As a man, I can tell you that men love women of ALL sizes. Why can't women accept each other?

Disclaimer: My opinion does not apply to every woman. I'm just speaking in general.

 

[luvsJack]

I never said you should not be concerned with your children's weight and eating habits. I agree with what you say that it needs to be done the right way. Obviously the post I was quoting it was being done the wrong way if the Mom was instilling a "thin at all costs, have a slammin body" mentality. I work very hard at instilling proper eating habits in my DD9 because I do not want her to have to struggle as I have for 30 years.

I disagree with your statement that's it not about being happy at any size. You have to be happy with where you are. You cannot sit around being miserable hating yourself and lose weight, it just doesn't work. Believe me, I have been there! You do have to make peace with how you are now, and set and try to acheive realistic goals, bit by bit. You have to be happy at size 20 while you are working for size 18. I know the weight is unhealthy, and that is my struggle. Everyone else has health struggles as well, some are just not as visible as others.

About all humans judging, that is true, but in my experience (and most people I talk to) women are much more unforgiving.

ITA with the bolded. If you are not happy with yourself at your current weight, you are not going to be happy 20 pounds thinner or 20 pounds heavier.

A person that is unhappy with themself and depressed about weight is NOT going lose weight in a healthy manner if at all.



I have always fed my kids healthy foods. Always had lots and lots of healthy snacks around for them. Two sons--constantly trying to figure out how to GAIN weight. They were constantly told they weren't big enough for their sport. But yet, both extrememly talented in what they do. One daughter--constant fight to make sure she doesn't think she needs to LOSE weight. But yet, she is a good size and is healthy.

Its ridiculous. Why not just stop worrying about a size and just worry about healthy?? Healthy haibts make a healthy body. Let the weight fall where it may.


As for the people judging each other. Men are no where near as judgmental of each other as women. Women constantly tear each other down.

 

[bellebud]

Weight or size does not equal healthy.

again, I have to agree w/ OP that it's the marketing of a size 20 being "real" that I see a problem with. It's saying to our young girls that it's perfectly ok, and even good.

I see the same problem with marketing the size 0 models as being "real", ok and good. It's not 'good' to have your ribs sticking out.

My dd and I encountered a cashier once, who was basically a walking skeleton. My dd was horrified. I was honestly surprised this girl was able to even stand up.

My daughter sees both extremes, and knows somewhere in the middle is what's good and healthy. But I'm NOT talking somewhere between 300lbs and 80lbs either. It's about how she feels in her body. We all know where we feel good.

 

[NotUrsula]

The thing to remember re: "healthy" is that health is a continuum, and it is ALWAYS relative. There are differing degrees of healthy, and weight is only one of the factors that comes into where you fall on that continuum.

Would I be healthier if I lost some weight? Certainly I would be, and we could all probably stand to become healthier by any means that we can.

Am I "unhealthy" (i.e. actually sick or at high risk for a life-threatening medical condition) now? No, I'm not, not by any objective testing measure commonly used in the medical community. So, yes, I'd like to be a bit thinner, but I probably won't die young or go broke from medical costs on that basis alone, if I don't manage it.

DH is much thinner, relatively speaking, than I am, but he has had more serious health problems than I have -- just the draw of the genetic lottery.

 

[luvsJack]

again, I have to agree w/ OP that it's the marketing of a size 20 being "real" that I see a problem with. It's saying to our young girls that it's perfectly ok, and even good.

I see the same problem with marketing the size 0 models as being "real", ok and good. It's not 'good' to have your ribs sticking out.

My dd and I encountered a cashier once, who was basically a walking skeleton. My dd was horrified. I was honestly surprised this girl was able to even stand up.

My daughter sees both extremes, and knows somewhere in the middle is what's good and healthy. But I'm NOT talking somewhere between 300lbs and 80lbs either. It's about how she feels in her body. We all know where we feel good.

It was size 16 not 20. And maybe she should have left out the parts about health and taking care of one's self and one's family? Being a size 16 has NOTHING to do with any of that.

Again, I encourage dd to have healthy habits, not worry about her weight. Weight does not have to be a part of it.

DD's bf's mother is very, very thin. People see her and think "drugs" or "anorexic". But it is neither. She eats healthy foods and probably twice as much as I do. But remains thin because she is unable to gain weight due to a condition she has. She sees her doctor for check ups and knows that she IS healthy. So, underweight doesn't equal unhealthy either. Can't judge by weight.

She sees a friend of mine that is very overweight (more so than I am) that does not seem to be able to lose. I believe her problems are more of a mental health issue but for whatever reason she is not able to lose and is a very unhappy person. I stress to dd that its the UNHAPPINESS that is unhealthy for this lady.

If you spend you time teaching your child that clothing size is important--you can cause a problem. If you child that cannot lose or gain because of health issues but yet they think they have to be a certain weight or size; they are going to have a constant struggle and will go overboard in trying to reach that weight or size.

With the two examples here and the one I mentioned earlier, dd sees a lot of struggles and attitudes about weight. Loving herself and being happy with herself is so much more important to me than a number on a scale or a tag in a pair of pants.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 (which I've seen numerous times here) is healthy.

You do know that there are women that are 5'10 + that a size 16 is plenty healthy Why on earth are you saying There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 is healthy

Are you a doctor?

 

[Conservative Hippie]

again, I have to agree w/ OP that it's the marketing of a size 20 being "real" that I see a problem with. It's saying to our young girls that it's perfectly ok, and even good.

I see the same problem with marketing the size 0 models as being "real", ok and good. It's not 'good' to have your ribs sticking out.

The point is that size 16 is "real." Real women come in all sizes, and the fashion industry seems to think we're all 5'10 and 100 lbs. "Real" women are 2, 8, 16, 24, whatever. "Real" women are 4'11, 5'2, 5'5, etc. Some "real" women are flat-chested, and some "real" women are very busty. Some "real" women have wide hips, some don't.

I don't think calling something "real" is condoning it. The KKK is "real," but I don't think anyone would think telling your child it is "real" would make your child think it is perfectly ok, and even good.

All this talk of "health" and I don't think anyone read the article (which, without a provided link, you had to track down yourself).

How Fashion Fails Real Women

For me, this shopping experience was a game-changer. In my book How to Never Look Fat Again, I maintain that any woman can look her absolute best, no matter what her size, so long as she knows which clothes will make her look fat and which will flatter her body. But if you can't find cool clothes in your size, what are you supposed to do? Start sewing? You won't hear me criticizing my mother ever again for not dressing as well as her daughter. And to every fashionista who has ever made a catty comment about how badly big women dress, I say: go out one day and try shopping for a fabulous look in size 16!

When the hottest designers don't cut clothes in a size 14, they're saying they don't want to see the average American woman walking around in their clothes. Ouch! That hurts. When department store buyers don't make room for size 16 on the selling floor, that hurts, too. And fashion is supposed to make women feel good about themselves, right?

I don't care if you are a 2 or a 22, you deserve the option of buying clothes that make you look good, that's the point of the article.

 

[luvsJack]

You do know that there are women that are 5'10 + that a size 16 is plenty healthy Why on earth are you saying There is absolutely no way that someone size 16 is healthy

Are you a doctor?

This is so true!

I don't get this equating clothing size with health?

People wear different sizes for different reasons. They weigh different things for different reasons.

 

[bellebud]

It was size 16 not 20.

oh, thanks for correcting me. my point is - for me and my dd, there's a middle ground, but just as bad as it is for our dd's to be overexposed to size 0 models, it's just as bad to see obese labeled as "real" and ok.

and yeah, that bmi thing that labels people "obese" that certainly are not, is silly, and I'd never go by that. We go by how we "feel", in our own frame and body type. I'm thin and have always weighed about 112, I'm a pear shape, but I developed a "tire" around my middle last year. And I was SOOO uncomfortable, I just can't tell you. If I gained the weight evenly all over, it would have been fine with me. But I looked like I was wearing a baby innertube under by shirts - not ok w/ me, and I lost it. "I" was uncomfortable, and that's what it comes down to.

 

[palavra]

I am also a medical professional and I never said that you can't be a normal weight and be unhealthy. The majority of normal weight people with heart problems aren't eating or exercising properly.

I stand by my prior comments, you can't be overweight and healthy. The extra weight isn't healthy for anyones body. There are many factors that make someone healthy. You can't just eat well, exercise and weight 200lbs and be considered healthy. On the opposite end you can't eat fried foods, high carbs etc and weight 140 and be considered healthy.

I was pointing out the fact that if your overweight then you putting excess stress on all areas of the body. That is in no way considered healthy.

You do realize that you are discounting genetics, don't you? Yes, you can be overweight and healthy. What is your definition of healthy?

 

[palavra]

Wow Im joining this late but it definitely is a touchy subject. I don't think the op was trying to attack anybody. The hard fact is society is beginning to accept obesity as part of the norm. Now you may be larger and have all the right blood work numbers and may be thin and be one of the unlucky ones to have bad cholesterol, etc. But as a nurse I can tell you the fact is being overweight contributes to alot of the major health problems Americans face.

And yet we are living longer than people from previous generations in which obesity was almost unheard of.

 

[diznygirl]

I agree with everything you are saying. I am overweight as well.....SIZE 20. I don't need to be slammed for my weight, believe me I feel it EVERYDAY.

I don't get upset because someone else is thin, I don't tell people they need to eat, I also don't look at someone who is overweight and automatically assume they are lazy and unhealthy either.

Women are horrible about judging each other: on weight, how we parent, whether or not we work outside the home.....and it is so damaging. I have been thin, I have been about 30 pounds (and two pants sizes) heavier than where I am now, but the judgement never stops. I don't think that is something FD or other men can understand. It turns into a vicious cycle, and women will absolutely try to derail you. We don't compete with or condemn men like this, but we do it to each other all the time.

This is so true!

I don't get this equating clothing size with health?

People wear different sizes for different reasons. They weigh different things for different reasons.

Clothing sizes are sooo arbitrary.

As far as my health goes, as long as my doctor is happy, I'm happy.

 

[palavra]

Thank You. I have been trying to make this same point. Being overweight can have serious consequences. It's about eating right, exercising and being at a good weight for your body.

And you can still die at an early age from cancer and other factors that are not attributed to healthy eating or exercising. Research is proving more and more that genetics plays a huge role in an individuals long term health.

 

[wvjules]

And yet we are living longer than people from previous generations in which obesity was almost unheard of.

I think we can attribute that science and not obesity.

 

[FergieTCat]

I've been on both sides of the spectrum, I've been a size 20 and a size 4, but for the life of me, I can't understand why plus size = REAL WOMEN. I mean, what is that saying about women who are able to take care of their families, and also take care of themselves, i.e. eat right and exercise?? Are healthy woman not real???

I believe the author meant that plus size women are also "real women" and should not be discounted because of their size.

Nice last paragraph, by the way. Why does it always seem that the women who have "been a size 20 and a size 4" (assuming that's chronological order) are the ones who are constantly commenting about other women's dress sizes? If it annoyed you so much, you should have turned the page.

 

[palavra]

I think we can attribute that science and not obesity.

Good Lord, I'm not attributing that to obesity; I'm pointing out that in spite of soaring obesity levels, we are still living longer than at any time in history.

 

[LisaR]

I haven't read the whole thread but one of the things that is bugging me are all the people commenting negatively on the "size 0 people." The clothing industry has forced what I view as regular sized people into tiny sizes. I am 5' 5" and weigh 115 - 120 pounds. I certainly don't consider myself overweight but I am by far not the skinniest person on the planet. I have pretty much been this size since high school. Back then, I wore medium sized shirts and size 6 or 8 pants. Fast forward 30 years and I am wearing size 2 or 4 pants. The fours are generally way too big in the waist. Unfortunately, the smaller sizes have too much of a teeny bopper look for me so I have to stick with the "larger" sizes (2's or 4's). A small top now hangs on me in most cases yet I used to wear a medium. I have an awful time finding clothing that looks appropriate for my age that fits nicely.

My point being, the clothing industry forced me into these sizes. My height and weight haven't changed. For those commenting on the "size zero people" understand that most would not have worn a zero 20 some years ago.