This Is Us- Season two

[anniemae]

I think some people who have a good relationship with their mother don’t understand Kate. I have a good relationship with my mother, but I can certainly understand where her resentment and anger come from, considering how Rebecca is portrayed on the show.

I get it too. I am not liking Rebecca very much. Kate explained it well when she said her mom makes her feel like that insecure fat kid. You could see it in the way she was freaking out making the house perfect before Rebecca arrived. She feels vulnerable, imperfect, and ugly in Rebeccas presence. This brings out the worst in Kate. She lashes out. Especially the backhanded compliment after Kate sang at the bar. She said something like, "Honey, you did so great! In time you will learn how to work a big crowd." And there it was. The slap after the compliment.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I enjoyed this episode, and I'm kind of on Kate's side in the bar scene. Rebecca's "compliments" - then and in the flashbacks - were really knock-downs, and she was making it all about her. I was lucky that my mom was not like Rebecca at all, but I do know someone well who has a very selfish mother. She is currently being honest with her mom about exactly how that affected her and why she won't let it anymore, and it's not easy for either of them.

I was sad that (child) Kate didn't sing, though, after Rebecca did something so sweet in remaking the dress! - I think that shows she did want her to succeed and enjoy the talent show, and just didn't realize what her words were doing. It's a shame Kate heard Rebecca singing and compared herself to that.

I think we're going to find out that a lot of this has to do with Rebecca's relationship to her own mom. (Remember the Thanksgiving episode last year?) And hopefully things will get better.

 

[NCDisneyMom]

I was sad that (child) Kate didn't sing, though, after Rebecca did something so sweet in remaking the dress! - I think that shows she did want her to succeed and enjoy the talent show, and just didn't realize what her words were doing. It's a shame Kate heard Rebecca singing and compared herself to that.

You know, based on what you say here, it made me think. And I agree...I don't think Rebecca even realized what she was doing. I think, in her head, she was just offering friendly, motherly advice, without having the first clue as to what it was doing to Kate's psyche.

 

[lisaviolet]

Kate drove me nuts last night. .

Me too. But probably for very different reasons. She's 37, I guess I felt that she was acting like kids who struggle with their parents act when they are in their early twenties.

And sometimes I think that this not accepting parents as they are is more of a white person's disease. I'm sure that last sentence will go over well. And I'm white, well pink.

I really don't like Randall's wife. She bugs me so much!

I obviously love her character. I am curious, and not baiting you, why does she bug you so much?

It could very well be a turning point for their relationship

Yes.

Better late than never.

I understand Kate. I come from a beautiful mother whose children were different from her. It was hard for her. I know that sounds so incredibly shallow and makes my mom seem that way. She isn't. Don't know how to explain it.

Well actually I do, but won't.

Heck my mom's pictures from her teenage years, in the fifties, look like paparazzi shots.

And my mother oh how I would love to place her in this time period. She would have been beyond a powerhouse. I see that in Rebecca. Although Rebecca had way more options than my mother and her friends.

, I also realize that not every episode can be a game changer

And those are the episodes that I enjoy.

______________________________________________________________

Oh and there were parts of Jack's storyline that I didn't like. But I did want to cry thinking how so many men suffer in complete and absolute silence. I found that part so heartbreaking to think about. And I think Milo played that part of men brilliantly.

 

[lisaviolet]

Oh and Jack and Kate in flashbacks make me think about one of my favourite moments in recent television history, from Mad Men. Don Draper showing his daughter Sally, and her siblings, where he actually came from. The naked truth. And the powerful glance of knowing between them. Sorry to go off topic but I still want to bawl thinking about it. Just the glance of knowing and seeing each other. Perfection.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I was sad that (child) Kate didn't sing, though, after Rebecca did something so sweet in remaking the dress! - I think that shows she did want her to succeed and enjoy the talent show, and just didn't realize what her words were doing. It's a shame Kate heard Rebecca singing and compared herself to that.

Right I don't get how that's Rebecca's fault? If Kate is intimidated by her mom's singing ability or smoking hot bod, then that's on her. Should Rebecca get fat and sing poorly so Kate feels better about herself? Yes Rebecca makes some backhanded compliments at times but I don't get the harm in telling someone how they can get better. Should we just tell everyone how perfect they are at all times? I guess that's the participation trophy mentality.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I really don't like Randall's wife. She bugs me so much!

Most times I like her but then there are times, like last night, where I think she's completely out of line. Randall was bringing up some very, very good points about taking in a child with emotional baggage and Beth just refused to hear him out.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I really don't like Randall's wife. She bugs me so much!

Finally, I'm not alone. I will admit her conversation with Kevin was nice.

 

[Mizzoufan]

I was happy this week show wasn't so emotional. I need a break after last weeks.

 

[bethbuchall]

Did anyone else want Rebecca to just say something nice to Kate (young Kate, now Kate, either one would work) without a qualifier? Just say something nice and leave it at that? I really hope I'm not doing that to my daughter. I don't think I am, but I will be sure to pay very close attention from now on. I loved Toby's chat with Rebecca. His loyalty impressed me - - and Rebecca, it seems.

I couldn't watch those scenes without worrying about how my daughter may perceive what I say, and she's an adult now. I know that my mother loves me, but I do feel that veiled judgment sometimes. I think it's more my "hearing" than my mother's "speaking," but I don't want to say anything that my daughter may hear in a way that I don't mean it either. I think Kate also hears more than Rebecca is saying sometimes, but Rebecca is also dealing with her own insecurities.

 

[bethbuchall]

I noticed Jack's mug at work said LUNDY in the same color/font as the ...UNDY on the notebook in the bag on the car seat last week. It looks like that was a notebook from the company. He could have been using it for anything, though.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I noticed Jack's mug at work said LUNDY in the same color/font as the ...UNDY on the notebook in the bag on the car seat last week. It looks like that was a notebook from the company. He could have been using it for anything, though.

Speaking of this, is this show ever just going to give us a complete reveal regarding what happened to Jack?

 

[NCDisneyMom]

Right I don't get how that's Rebecca's fault? If Kate is intimidated by her mom's singing ability or smoking hot bod, then that's on her. Should Rebecca get fat and sing poorly so Kate feels better about herself? Yes Rebecca makes some backhanded compliments at times but I don't get the harm in telling someone how they can get better. Should we just tell everyone how perfect they are at all times? I guess that's the participation trophy mentality.

I would agree with you that, as an adult, being intimidated by anybody else is on the person who feels intimidated. But we were seeing Kate as a young child. Young children are, by nature, very impressionable. What Kate sees, as a child, is her "perfect" (in her eyes) mother. A mother who (in her eyes) wants her to be perfect, just like her. But she can't measure up to that, because Rebecca is constantly telling her what she needs to do better. This leaves a lasting impression on a little girl.

And no, it's not about telling someone that they are perfect. But it IS possible to be encouraging without throwing in a "but...." scenario. For example, my daughter plays basketball. Sometimes she has a good game, and sometimes she doesn't. When she doesn't, she knows what she did wrong. I can still be encouraging and supportive by saying "You played hard tonight, I'm proud of you". Chances are, she'll come back with "But I missed all my shots, and I gave up the ball...". She knows what she did wrong; I do not have to point it out to her. But I'm still letting her know that I'm proud of her effort. And there is no trophy involved.

 

[Pacolovestacos]

I would agree with you that, as an adult, being intimidated by anybody else is on the person who feels intimidated. But we were seeing Kate as a young child. Young children are, by nature, very impressionable. What Kate sees, as a child, is her "perfect" (in her eyes) mother. A mother who (in her eyes) wants her to be perfect, just like her. But she can't measure up to that, because Rebecca is constantly telling her what she needs to do better. This leaves a lasting impression on a little girl.

And no, it's not about telling someone that they are perfect. But it IS possible to be encouraging without throwing in a "but...." scenario. For example, my daughter plays basketball. Sometimes she has a good game, and sometimes she doesn't. When she doesn't, she knows what she did wrong. I can still be encouraging and supportive by saying "You played hard tonight, I'm proud of you". Chances are, she'll come back with "But I missed all my shots, and I gave up the ball...". She knows what she did wrong; I do not have to point it out to her. But I'm still letting her know that I'm proud of her effort. And there is no trophy involved.

Okay but the incident we saw as a child was Kate barging in on her mom in the shower while she was singing to herself. Kate got intimidated by that specific incident which caused her not to want to sing at the talent show. Rebecca had no idea about it. How is that Rebecca's fault?

 

[anniemae]

Okay but the incident we saw as a child was Kate barging in on her mom in the shower while she was singing to herself. Kate got intimidated by that specific incident which caused her not to want to sing at the talent show. Rebecca had no idea about it. How is that Rebecca's fault?

I think it goes back to Rebecca's constant qualifiers. When Kate sang in the kitchen, Rebecca said something like, "that was great, but you should hold the last note a little longer." Then she told Kate she -kate- was the best singer in the house, then she snuck in the bathroom and heard Rebecca singing. I think it just crushed her since it was a lie, Kate was not the best singer in the house, Rebecca was. Kind of like the scene where Kate looked at Rebeccas shirt in the closet and it was a "small" Kate looked at the tag on her shirt and it was large. Not Rebecca's fault she is thin, just a blow to Kate. Kate has talked in the past about how perfect her mom is, pretty, thin, great singer etc. Kate feels like she will never measure up. Deep stuff that was planted in her childhood. Not easy to just shake off as an adult.

 

[bethbuchall]

Both Kate and Rebecca are imperfect (as all people are). It isn't necessarily that Rebecca did something "wrong" or didn't love Kate fully; it's the dynamic between the two of them. Rebecca doesn't know how Kate sees her. Kate has been blinded by her own perceptions. Rebecca has her own insecurities, failed dreams, and mother issues coloring the way that she interacts with Kate. Neither is a bad person, but they haven't found a way to relate to one another that works out to a truly healthy relationship. It didn't help that Kate and Jack related so well. That pushed Rebecca out a little (adding to her insecurity) and also meant that Kate didn't really have to try to see her mother differently because she had her dad to always fall back on. I think that there is plenty of love there, but there are some communication issues that need to be worked through.

 

[bethbuchall]

I think it goes back to Rebecca's constant qualifiers. When Kate sang in the kitchen, Rebecca said something like, "that was great, but you should hold the last note a little longer." Then she told Kate she -kate- was the best singer in the house, then she snuck in the bathroom and heard Rebecca singing. I think it just crushed her since it was a lie, Kate was not the best singer in the house, Rebecca was. Kind of like the scene where Kate looked at Rebeccas shirt in the closet and it was a "small" Kate looked at the tag on her shirt and it was large. Not Rebecca's fault she is thin, just a blow to Kate. Kate has talked in the past about how perfect her mom is, pretty, thin, great singer etc. Kate feels like she will never measure up. Deep stuff that was planted in her childhood. Not easy to just shake off as an adult.

Exactly! You said it better than I did.

 

[lisaviolet]

I think that there is plenty of love there, but there are some communication issues that need to be worked through.

Absolutely. The love between them is evident.

Hard relationship. I actually think Rebecca tried too hard at times, and it then never came off as genuine.

 

[lisaviolet]

Interesting what people notice.

I noticed the meal that Kate wasn't eating. Grapes and.... well not sure cottage cheese? There are a lot of subtleties in the show.

 

[lisaviolet]

Most times I like her but then there are times, like last night, where I think she's completely out of line. Randall was bringing up some very, very good points about taking in a child with emotional baggage and Beth just refused to hear him out.

But then again that is the beauty of her character, in my eyes. She's real and therefore she's annoying at times. Such a well-written character.