Things that could end a good relationship.

[Liberty Belle]

No that is not the case at all, and I thought we had discussed this before in the past on another thread. Inner beauty is actually MORE important than outer. There is no doubt about that. I was merely discussing some more superficial issues which I though went with the mayo and being a 49ers fan. But since I am the only stag at the girls party my views are taken with a bit of.....how do I put it?

I remember having some type of conversation like that with you, but to me, you post the opposite of what you're now saying. Again, your business.

And honestly, if you read the post a couple of posts up (on my phone, so can't see it right now), it explains it better than I could.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I see the difference... It's just silly to get all worked up over a man that you (general you) doesn't have to date nor marry.

Who gives a hoot what he thinks? Maybe he'll find someone just like him and live happily ever after.

I hear that a lot and wish I could think that way, but it does bother me what strangers say. Hell, I even get pissed off at characters in a book or on the screen! I'm a sensitive person (in a lot of ways), so maybe that's what drives it.

 

[TheAviator]

I remember having some type of conversation like that with you, but to me, you post the opposite of what you're now saying. Again, your business.

And honestly, if you read the post a couple of posts up (on my phone, so can't see it right now), it explains it better than I could.

Well I thought the purpose of this thread was to discuss more light hearted superficial deal killers. But some think I guess I am talking specifically about them.

And no I do not speak for every man. I really have no idea how it would go down if you took a large poll of what men think. I do know that most men I know personally think along the lines I do. (When we are talking about superficial issues like this.)

 

[TheAviator]

And let me frame it in an example like this, if you posted a picture of a woman with long hair, in good shape, in a short cocktail dress and in heels, then put a picture of a large obese woman at 300 plus in a people mover at WalMart side by side, and then asked a random sample of men which woman would you ask out on a date, which picture do you think they would pick? Is this so alien, foreign and strange to comprehend?

 

[Liberty Belle]

Well I thought the purpose of this thread was to discuss more light hearted superficial deal killers. But some think I guess I am talking specifically about them.

And no I do not speak for every man. I really have no idea how it would go down if you took a large poll of what men think. I do know that most men I know personally think along the lines I do. (When we are talking about superficial issues like this.)

I don't think obesity is light-hearted, but like someone above said we know for past posts that these actually are deal breakers for you. I really doubt miracle whip is a deal breaker for the women who posted that.

It would be interesting to view a poll. It would have to be worded right, though.

 

[Liberty Belle]

And let me frame it in an example like this, if you posted a picture of a woman with long hair, in good shape, in a short cocktail dress and in heels, then put a picture of a large obese woman at 300 plus in a people mover at WalMart side by side, and then asked a random sample of men which woman would you ask out on a date, which picture do you think they would pick? Is this so alien, foreign and strange to comprehend?

No, and just going by looks, most women would choose Gerard Butler over Danny Devito, but that's not the point.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

And let me frame it in an example like this, if you posted a picture of a woman with long hair, in good shape, in a short cocktail dress and in heels, then put a picture of a large obese woman at 300 plus in a people mover at WalMart side by side, and then asked a random sample of men which woman would you ask out on a date, which picture do you think they would pick? Is this so alien, foreign and strange to comprehend?

I think the issue comes when you are in a long term, committed relationship. You know... Love for her mind not the body thing.

However... Maybe I'm shallow too because I have to be physically attracted to someone.

 

[TheAviator]

I think the thing that offended a lot of people in this thread is that, clearly, not eating the right kind of mayo or leaving your dirty clothes out is not and actual deal breaker. Everyone who posted something like that is joking. They are not divorcing their husbands or turning down potential ones because of these issues. TheAviator was being entirely serious. Those are actual deal breakers. There is a huge, huge difference in what he was saying versus what everyone else was saying. I am skinny, have long hair, and wear heels often. And I was offended by his statement.

Oh, and TheAviator, I can assure you it's not because you're a man crashing a women's party that you get flamed.

OK then well if you are skinny have long hair and wear heels often why were you offended? I wouldn't be offended if you said you preferred a guy with full hair, in shape and wears a suit a lot?

I think if I got this upset over something so trivial I would hate to see how you would react to something really important.

 

[roseaster]

I see the difference... It's just silly to get all worked up over a man that you (general you) doesn't have to date nor marry.

Who gives a hoot what he thinks? Maybe he'll find someone just like him and live happily ever after.

I don't think people are worked up, and in the long run, I don't think people really care what he does with his life, but he put a statement out there and people have a right to have an opinion of it, and since this is a discussion board, they can offer that opinion. If he wants to continue his quest for Barbie that is certainly his prerogative and problem, but there is definitely misogynist undertone to his posting. If I posted, "Making under $500,000 a year," as a barrier to a relationship people would definitely form an opinion of what type of person I am. The same thing applies here.

Maybe he should listen to some of the opinions of some of the posters who do have successful, long term relationships. It might give him some insight into why, so late in life, he doesn't have one.

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

 

[Liberty Belle]

OK then well if you are skinny have long hair and wear heels often why were you offended? I wouldn't be offended if you said you preferred a guy with full hair, in shape and wears a suit a lot?

I think if I got this upset over something so trivial I would hate to see how you would react to something really important.

It's a woman's issue thing. I'm not who you addressed this to, but I can be offended if you told a racist joke about black people and I'm not black.

 

[aaarcher86]

I don't think people are worked up, and in the long run, I don't think people really care what he does with his life, but he put a statement out there and people have a right to have an opinion of it, and since this is a discussion board, they can offer that opinion. If he wants to continue his quest for Barbie that is certainly his prerogative and problem, but there is definitely misogynist undertone to his posting. If I posted, "Making under $500,000 a year," as a barrier to a relationship people would definitely form an opinion of what type of person I am. The same thing applies here.

Maybe he should listen to some of the opinions of some of the posters who do have successful, long term relationships. It might give him some insight into why, so late in life, he doesn't have one.

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

I agree. But I think there is a difference in having an opinion and full on outrage and attacking someone for the post.

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I don't think people are worked up, and in the long run, I don't think people really care what he does with his life, but he put a statement out there and people have a right to have an opinion of it, and since this is a discussion board, they can offer that opinion. If he wants to continue his quest for Barbie that is certainly his prerogative and problem, but there is definitely misogynist undertone to his posting. If I posted, "Making under $500,000 a year," as a barrier to a relationship people would definitely form an opinion of what type of person I am. The same thing applies here.

Maybe he should listen to some of the opinions of some of the posters who do have successful, long term relationships. It might give him some insight into why, so late in life, he doesn't have one.

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

I'm pretty aware of how a discussion board works. Thanks though.

When people start insulting others and posting sarcastic statements(ie. "quest for Barbie"), to me, that's getting worked up lol.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree those are the most important things, of which I would add sweet and giving. But I thought we were talking about superficial, light hearted things, but mine seem to be drawing major flames.

If this poster does not see the difference between superficial and lighthearted things, such as love-or-hate miracle whip... and making negative comments about appearance, related to things like high-heels, long hair, etc...

Maybe they just do not have a clue when it comes to being socially acceptable.

 

[TheAviator]

I think the issue comes when you are in a long term, committed relationship. You know... Love for her mind not the body thing.

However... Maybe I'm shallow too because I have to be physically attracted to someone.

OMGosh, I am sooooooo offended this is so alien to me, you mean to tell me you wouldn't love me if I grew to 300 lbs, burped constantly, smacked while I ate and drueled, wore dirty nasty clothes and didn't take a bath but 1 every two weeks, and didn't brush my teeth. But what about my inner beauty?

 

[Liberty Belle]

I don't think people are worked up, and in the long run, I don't think people really care what he does with his life, but he put a statement out there and people have a right to have an opinion of it, and since this is a discussion board, they can offer that opinion. If he wants to continue his quest for Barbie that is certainly his prerogative and problem, but there is definitely misogynist undertone to his posting. If I posted, "Making under $500,000 a year," as a barrier to a relationship people would definitely form an opinion of what type of person I am. The same thing applies here.

Maybe he should listen to some of the opinions of some of the posters who do have successful, long term relationships. It might give him some insight into why, so late in life, he doesn't have one.

"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." Maya Angelou

Great post. Definitely agree.

Btw, that reminded me of a student who, when asked in fourth grade what he wanted to be when he grew up, said he hoped to be a misogynist. We were a little taken aback, but after a few questions, realized he meant a masseur.

 

[FireDancer]

However... Maybe I'm shallow too because I have to be physically attracted to someone.

That doesn't make you shallow. If it is the only thing you cared about that would make you shallow. If you only take into account one thing about a person, whether it is appearance, intelligence, money, or anything else you are shallow.

I think people are either lying to themselves or others if they say looks don't matter. It will matter to different degrees depending on the person and what is considered attractive will be different based on the person but someone's appearance is a part of what attracts us to each other.

 

[TheAviator]

No, and just going by looks, most women would choose Gerard Butler over Danny Devito, but that's not the point.

ANd I understand that and it wouldn't offend me in the least if a woman said something along those lines.

What about Daniel Craig?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I, too, agree with roseaster....
Almost everything that is attempted to be passed off as said-in-jest, is in some ways very much meant in earnest.

The manner of which this poster has very earnestly tried to justify his post, also tells the true story.

 

[sbtrfly74]

Lol just for disclosure: I am not sitting in a tree.

My favorite post thus far

No that is not the case at all, and I thought we had discussed this before in the past on another thread. Inner beauty is actually MORE important than outer. There is no doubt about that. I was merely discussing some more superficial issues which I though went with the mayo and being a 49ers fan. But since I am the only stag at the girls party my views are taken with a bit of.....how do I put it?

I see what the problem is, to Av mayo and 49ers are the same things as his pet peeves which everyone else considers much more personal than DH left his undies on the bathroom floor. I get it now that he knows his issues are superficial... Miracle whip is defiantly not superficial it is in fact a deal breaker!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

OMGosh, I am sooooooo offended this is so alien to me, you mean to tell me you wouldn't love me if I grew to 300 lbs, burped constantly, smacked while I ate and drueled, wore dirty nasty clothes and didn't take a bath but 1 every two weeks, and didn't brush my teeth. But what about my inner beauty?

Love yes... Have a lasting, happy relationship? Doubtful.