The Two Really Old(ish) Happyhaunts Go South. Alone... But With ECVs!

[GottaGetToDisney!]

Mel!: Thanks for those kind words! I'm not sure why I lurked for so long. Kinda felt like I couldn't bring da funny like you or Zzub or Sher...& many other funny folks from back in the day. But maybe, just maybe, I can! Thing is...as you get older..you become like a honey badger KWIM?

I thoroughly enjoyed your tale of Splash Mountain cuz it was descriptive...which I needed...because (Confession Time)...I've never been on SM. Ever. At all...in the 15 or so times that I've been to WDW. I know...take a moment...let that sink in.
#RIDEWIMP. It's that freaking drop! If I felt confident that I wasn't going to revisit my Colombia Harbour House hummus and broccoli slaw sandwich (droool) I'd be more inclined to set aside my wimpy ways. I am not confident. My DD *said* she was going to conquer Splash Mountain during this past trip, but then pulled a Mel whilst riding BTMRR....ahem...meaning she had herself a lil panic attack. Small scale. Did not need to lie down. Did not need medical attention.
Anyhoo..Splash Mountain was not happening.

Here's a funny story about DD and ANOTHER lil panic attack she had...same trip...which may lead you to believe she does this a lot. Yeah...she does.
K...we were at the Magic Kingdom and had decided to take a snack break at Sleepy Hollow because FUNNEL CAKES BAYBEEEE!!!!!
Stupid parade had started and we had finished cutting and snorting our funnel cakes...we were ready to get the heck out of that God forsaken park (did I mention it was REALLY FREAKING HOT and crowded?). We were trapped!!!! By the stupid parade.

Finally the stupid parade stupidly finishes and now it's just complete bedlam as everyone else who had been waiting to break free from the chains of stupidity surges toward the front of the park.

We get near the front of the park. Finally. But NO! Trapped again as the stupid stupid stupid parade is now winding its way around the circular pavement near the end of its stupid route. P.S. I heart parades! No, I don't.

I lie on the ground and cry. In the meantime DD..we'll just call her Maddy..cuz that's her name...has been BEGGING to use my mini fan.
***Vent needs to be added right here*** I bought both kids their own personal mini misting fans and they both REFUSED to bring said fans to the parks. Didn't want to carry them around, they whined. Still bitter. Whatevs.

So, I relent. Give the child the fan so she'll stop adding to my misery.
Stuparade passes...a gazillion humans push towards the exits. Packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes...contestants in a suicidal race. Can we all just agree that Synchronicity II is the best Police song ever? NOeverybreathyoutake. I take that back..I'd be happy to never hear that song again. Really just NOStewartCopelandandAndySummers. You can take all of the O,Sting, cuz you strike me as a pompous ****. There, I said it. Not afraid of the backlash.

As we approach the underpass of the Main St railroad, I hear Maddy wail "moooooommmmmmm!!!!!!!!". I want to stop and look but I. Just. Can't. There is no stopping when you're about to be mowed down by a tired and angry mob. I glance over my shoulder and there's a fan catastrophe going down.
Maddy has been growing out her hair. For a while now. And it is looonng. You know what's comin' next, don't ya? Some might call it holding the fan too close to her face. I call it karma.
Her hair, which probably hung a good 8 to 12 inches below the jawline, is now by her cheekbone. Tangled around the blades. Of the mini fan. Bwahahaha!!!!!
Her hair was a hot, hot mess (NODonaldTrump'sHair).
And this is what I ask her, because I know her so well:
"Did you turn the fan off?"
She replies "noooooooo!!! Helllllp meeeeee!!!!"
I reach over and turn the fan off. Try to hold in the laughter because she's clearly about to lose it. Can't do it. Face forward and continue the never ending sprint to the bus stop. Maddy doesn't like this and begs me to stop to detach her poor widdle head from the mean mean fan. I yell at her, like we're in a movie...being chased by zombies "we have to keep moving!!!!"
Uh oh. I hear it coming. Sounds like hyperventilating noises close behind.
"Mom! (Gasp)...I don't (gasp)....feel good. I'm (gasp)...going to pass out."
Crap on a cracker.

My sister, oblivious to the utter devastation happening behind her, is waaayyyy ahead and I have to scream "hey!!!!! We have a problem! Stop in a shady spot for a sec!"
I know you're laughing at me right now. Thinking "shady spot? Outside of the magic kingdom? Pffftt! Where? In the shadow of the monorail track maybe."
And maybe that's where we stopped.untangled Maddy. 'Twas a group effort...sadly. A pitiful group effort (NOonedirection).
Crisis averted. No loss of hair. But it continued to hang by her cheekbone in a fuzzy ratty clump. Kept laughing at it....all the way back to the hotel....as inconspicuously as I could.

Holy Carp! This was really long, eh? That's what happens when you're bored at 130 am.
I'm out!

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

Oh geeeze

Or cheese

Don't these Marlstroms know that all must stop when reading your TR

relaxing at your fav water slide place
In the heat
Which I won't feel again til June
Of 2016

I'll be back when everyone stops posti g their exact location

In the world

 

[pookersmom]

Thursday July 16th aka Part 2 of Day 5 aka Two Happyhaunts go to The Motherland (NOThePresidio)


Finally the last wave.

That's when I decided to join in. I couldn't make out the words or the language but I could imitate the sounds. And the clapping. So... I started...


*REAL REAL* loud!!!


And everyone including Mellyman in our line spun on a dime and glared at Me(l).


Awful awful death glares.

Heh heh

I must have got it pretty close. NOD!!!


But I DID stop. In mid clap. mid chant.


And turned some big white DONKEY teeth on them all!


Heh eheh heh

This? Right here? This is why I know I love you, even though we've never met. And if I'd been in that line, I would have joined you. LOL.

 

[ZZUB]

Well, well, well. I'm glad to see that you finally made it to a park. I was sure you were going to spend your entire time at Walmart and various chain restaurants.

Ironically, I had a cheesesteak for lunch today. But I did not wash it down with any of Li'l Debbie's so-called baked goods.

I'm sure it was annoying to everyone else in line when you started chanting, but I'm also sure THAT wasn't the reason people were glaring at you. Hat tip: sweat-soaked muffin top.

I'm not a fan of BTMRR. Indeed, none of the ZZUBs are. But 3/4s of us love us some Splash. I know other people dig BTMRR, but it makes me sick to my stomach. And Li'l ZZUB hates it like Auburn hates being picked to win the SEC but being 2-2 before the end of September. In other words, a LOT!

But they are Auburn. They should be used to disappointment. NOTennessee.

Have you notice that no one talks about John Edwards anymore? Weird.

Good call on the Splash Mountain smell. It is reminiscent of the Polynesian and is a true Disney Smell. Similar to, but not in the same category as, sweaty non-deoderant wearing, polyester clad tourist.

Carry on.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Reply guys!!!

GottaGetToDisney!:

Your new name is: GottaGetToHappyhauntsmausoleum!

Cause truth be told. That reply read like I wrote it.


Scared me a bit. And I know that I didn't write it because I like the parades.

Always loved a parade.

And... you think I'm stupid stupid stupid now.

Who cares tho? I don't... cause I'm a budding honey badger NOGeneral.

NoBeth.

Beth is her baba but like 2.0. She is a bold, terrifying, smart, fearless and very independent force of nature.

Which is why she'll make a good lawyer. Prolly even better than the ZZUBmeister.

I said that cause he's german. I think. Or not?

Who cares? He's too anal and efficient, precise and controlled. That's why I think he's german. It's not because he's tall slim blond and hairless.

Lord no. All I know *really* is that he's prolly not blond bald.

Plus... he has the German sense of humour.


Do they???? At all????


The answer is NO!!!!


He's german.


I wanna say one thing to you:


3. Get to our house because I think you're a long lost sibling. olo.

t. Trip report. You should write one. Fo sure.

5. I think I wrote that "thing" you wrote. Somehow. And channeled it to you. Sounded exactly like something I would write.

Except for your hatred of parades. Hate crime. Also... very racist. Heh heh.

Tree. NoThreebutialreadyusedu. DED.

DED DED DED.

Cause... this is sooooo borg and slightly embarrassing. I have also got my hair tangled NOTangled. Same year as Tangled tho olo.

In a fre-ACK-in!!!!! Disney fan thingie.

Had to cut a chunk off with nail scissors.

Made the tip of my newly cut hair smell like cheese. NOcheesesteak.

Anywho... write a trippie. You DO have BOOTS!!!!

I'd be a fan.





YAK!!!: From the reports I've been getting. You guys aren't much different from me and Mellyman.

HASHTAG (NO#) old ladies.

Heh heh.

Rock on you Canuckian Beach (NOMel).

safe travels home!


POOKIE!!!

Yah. I did it cause it needed to be done. It was a moment of "should I do this? or not? yeah I will cause it's funny in context. But prolly only to me!"

Moment.

I was happy tho.

Would have appreshed a fiend to join Me(l)!


ZZUBBLES MY LOVE BBUBBLES!!! Totally borg on the Splash Smell. Baybeee!!!!

I just want you to know this: I love you and I mean it.

In the same way I love being constipated from too many cheesesteak mornings. Sure we're borg on that too. (Still love the bidet! Nod!)

Speaking of: You washed it down with Yoohoo. So FRE-ACK-IN GROSS!!! and. Glad that the cheesesteak wasn't the one I was trying to send you over and over. Cause if it was the one I tried to send you... you should have washed it down with syrup of Ipecachoo.


Or spend your football watching, day off. In the powder room. With a roll of toilet paper on ice.


Thanks for coming by. Finally. Again I was mi...er...wor...er nevermind.


Just gotta say thirteen things.

1. John Edwards? Who is that? Didn't he get all famous for cheating on his dying wife?

Maybe I'm wrong. But... that might be your answer. There.


2. American politics seem scarier than Canadian ones these days.

3. Think on THAT a bite.

4. Thanks for the muffin Nod. And I'll have you know... nothing gross about my muffin top. It's chocolate chip. White muffin. Freckle chips.

Everyone likes chocolate chip anything!!!


Try not to throw up on your keyboard now.

Heh heh.


Cheers, Mel


Roll gut!!!!

 

[liquid17]

Mel, the way you speak about The General makes me miss my Mom. It's wonderful that you can spend so much time with her!!

Space Mountain creeps me out too. I am planning to wait on the line this trip since it has been several years and I did love the tunnel and the space-y music, but I warned my husband that I will be chickening out at the end and he will need to ride it alone. Poor guy. But he will get over it when we ride Splash Mountain - it was closed for maintenance on our last two trips and he is über-excited. I am not crazy about maybe getting drenched but I won't let him ride that one alone! Because I am a really good wife. Not every wife would be willing to get splashed!

Gottagettodisney - I would totally read your trip report!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

So Blue Jays are playing. I'm bored.

Just not a huge sports fan. Except for American Soccer. Roll TIDE!!!! Bama!!!

So I really really really wanna tell a story. Cause I'm not watching any Jays game. I hear about it enuff.


Anywho... thought I'd tell a funny happyhaunt story.


Cause... I really wanted to but no one asked. saidly. Crickets a bite. Ash would've asked I'm sure.


And so here it comes... down the pipe. NOSplashM.


The Sprout Pants Story.


So in May I got a call on my cell phone. When it was actually still working and receiving calls. Not just shutting them down. And leaving me a missed call message. In the last month... I cannot receive a call. Apparently.

I really got to get a new phone. But... I am procrastinating. Everyone knows to text Me(l) instead btw.

Luddite. Pure.

Where was I????


Oh. I know.

I was spending the nite at The Presidio.

And my cell phone rang (NOcellphoneloveumeanit)

I said "Hello" and just heard laughing. Laughing laughing snorting and laughing.


It was Beth.


And...she was essentially SCREAMING laffing. So hard SO LOUD.

Which is not like her normally.

It takes literally the funniest thing IN THE WORLD to make her lose it that way.

Unlike Me(l). I lose it that hard when I firmly place a Velveeta Cheese Slice on the Slinddog's head. Press it down super hard...and watch her work to get it off.

Perhaps... I'm more easily amused. Tho.

Gotta be that.

Also... our dog is Jewish. And likes to eat her cheese Yamaka. We're a religiously diverse family. In that only the dog has religion. I think.


so Beth was laughing soooo sooo sooo hard that she couldn't talk. AT ALL.

It took a great while and a lot of waiting while she told me the story in bits and bites while scream laffing but I will sum it up here.


Tommy and one of his friends had gone for a hike. After school. Through all the trails around our home. And ended up by the river. Where they decided to slide down a dirt cliff hill thingie on their stomachs. A bunch of times.

They got super dirty and muddy and then he came home.

He took his old track pants off and instead of throwing them in his laundry bag wrapped them in a damp shower towel and kicked it into the corner of his bedroom.

At the *SAME* time Mellyman was trying to start his garden by planting a bunch off seeds in soil pots and leaving them in the front window to get sunlight and tending them daily. AS a Mellyman gardener will do. They were not doing well. By all accounts. Nothing was growing.

Finally Tommy's damp towel ball got thrown on the laundry room floor. It had prolly been a week or more. Prolly more tbh. It was invisible in his room of mess.

Beth opened it up. To do laundry.

Spread out the track pants. And SURPRISE!!! The pants were GROWING!!! There were about a hundred tiny green sprout guys growing healthily on HIS PANTS. All over the legs of his pants. Alive and STRONG!!! Little two leafed tiny bright green healthy sprouts.

Heh heh.


She was DED!!!! And called the other happyhaunts to look. They were DED. Tommy was really DED. And Mellyman was DED until Beth said this:

Beth: Wow. Dad. His pants are doing better than your seeds. Maybe you should wrap them in a wet towel and leave them in the dark. Neglect them for a couple weeks!!!

Then Mellyman thot the whole thing wasn't so funny.


Anymore.


But... Beth did. And was calling me and screaming with laughter.


There. Done. Except for no one wanted to touch the sprout pants. And Beth called them a sprout pants baby. Heh heh. Then the pants got tossed in the garbage. Saidly.


Ok.

Cheers, Mel.


P.Sedit back tomorrow with more trippie. Hope this lil bite was trippy tho. olo.

 

[tonga]

Gardening, happyhaunt style!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Thursday July 16th aka Part 4 of Day 5 aka Mel Happyhaunt goes HOME!! Also rain. Lunch and Fry Cry!!!! If I get there.

So when our ride on BTMRR ended. With Mellyman being decently crushed back. And Me(l) laughing laughing laughing about the crushback.

We got off and excited the ride. That's when Mellyman told me that I was all mean. And his shoulder hurt.

Crap. In my need to get even stevens I forgot about his shoulder. And... I felt truly truly bad. Also because initially he wasn't planning on doing many rides. Because of the shoulder. And now I made it worse. Momentarily.


I apologized the best way I know by saying "Why don't you suck it up and be a torn rotator cuff General?".

But... I also said that I hoped it was ok. And I *totally* forgot in the heat of the moment. NOAsia.

Also I sang this "Heat of the moment. Heat of the moment" perfectly. A few times. More than a few.

About 7 times while we walked to the Haunted Mansion.

I know it kinda pissed him off. But those are the things he is willing to bear. To be my beloved Fat Man.

Then came the classic Mellyman retort to Me(l): "Do you know that if I had, if fact, killed you on our first date? I would be OUT by now."

It's his favourite thing to say. He says it all the time. Along with: "This Christmas you're getting a ball gag."

Both things make him laugh real hard. Also the rest of the happyhaunts. They scream with laughter about the killin' Mom thingie.

Ya. Prolly just a happyhaunt thing heh heh.

And... yet... I don't think they've actually thought about the implications of that whole thingie.

Where WOULD they be???? Now. Afterall???

Anywho... Mellyman's kinda fun. Makes him laugh. all good.

So we got to The Haunted Mansion. And I paused outside to take it all in and to think about my Dad and what gigantic huge fun we would always have riding this ride and I missed him again. For the four millionth time in my life. And I wished he had never smoked and that I had got more than 20 years. Less than. Of his humour, love, guidance, support and total silliness.

Mostly... I wished that Mellyman and my children had gotten the chance to know him and love him. Ironically Mellyman and I started being friends about a month after his passing. When I was not "fun" or "funny" Mel. But... a very different person. Temporarily.

Then we entered the queue and went through the "new" cue. I've done it before...but for some reason... Mellyman had never seen it before. He sad so. And I was SO excited to show him everything.

I love "Bertie" sooo much. He looks like my sister in law!!! Especially the moustache.

Aunt Florence looks like Kenny Hotz. Canadian thingie. Really funny. *REALLY* inappropriate funny. NOSpenny. SOOOO inappropriate it's too much for Me(l). That's sayin' something. Nod.

The twins look like these kidz on our street. Who are evil.

Then...

LOOK LOOK YOU CAN PLAY THE INSTRUMENTS!!!!

I'll do it!!!

Do you want to???


No.

Ok. I'll do it AGAIN!!!

So thru that and showed him everything. Except the secret Bride's ring. I told him the general NOGeneral area and told him to find it.

He wasn't at all excited about it as I had hoped. And immediately said, "I give up."

Nope. no. nada. neep. NOOP!!!!

Weren't going anywhere till he found. it.

I even suggested wearing his readers and crawling around a bite.

A no go.

What I'm sayin' here is this: He's a big poop. And I had to point it out. It's on the ground in a corner. Hard to find. Then he took four pictures of it with his cell phone because I insisted.

Ok. Onto the ride.

Soooo Sooo excited. But in the stretching room I picked the wrong spot to stand by. Haven't been there in a bite. So was not right beside the exit point. No matter... I got to scream "Me(l)" when our very well themed Haunted Mansion servant usher asked "ominously" if anyone would volunteer to be the "1000thhappyhaunt"!!!!

I'm HOME BAYBEEE!!!!

Would have yelled that too but Mellyman would have elbowed me into the next day. Last Day at Disney. Already dreading it. NOBobMarley.

So we got outta the stretching room and into our Doom Buggy. Where Mellyman's left knee took quite the thump from the Ghost Host closing of it.

He Man Spreads. TFI.

Plus he's pretty large and long legged.

All I have to say now is this: WAS AWESOME!!!! as usual. as expected. as I needed.

After it was over we DID it AGAIN!!! No surprise there.

This time he found THE BRIDE'S RING in the concrete. Fairly easily. NOD.


Then we excited to plummeting wetness. NOWhipSplashMountain.

Was pouring rain.

We ran quickly into the new Haunted Mansion Giftshop. Where I got super excited and pointed out all the stuff I wanted for Halloweiners.

He nodded. Nodded. And let me buy only a keychain. Canadian exchange rate rant.

Poop.


Hopefully... he will make one of his mysterious shopping runs next time we're in Disney. Which is SOON!!! SOON AND SOONER!!!!

Then we waited and waited for the downpour to end. Endlessly. Cause we had a lunch ADR to get to at The Plaza. And I *knew* we were gonna be late. I tried and tried to be patient. For like 10 minutes. Mellyman was telling me it looked like it was starting to let up but... it wasn't and I felt like he was just not wanting to run there in the rain.

At like 12 minutes of waiting... I just ran.

He yelled "x0@#&^% MEL!!!"

But followed anywho.

It was raining hard.

We got to The Plaza soaked again. And winded. Mellyman was also wound.

Tried to stay dry as I checked in and got a pager.


Sat in a dryish spot and waited for like 5 minutes.

Just enough time for the rain to stop and the sun to magically break through.

Mellyman looked at Me(l).

Real hard like. "maybe should have given it 5 more minutes?" hard.

Then our pager went off.

And we walked into a sub-zero degree freezer to enjoy getting MINIMAL FRIES.

Which is one of the reasons I love The Plaza.

Usually.


Cheers, Mel.

 

[erinyella]

Thank you for ALWAYS bringing the funny. You have a gift for telling stories, and my family thinks I am crazy for bursting out laughing while reading your trip reports.

 

[ZZUB]

When I was not "fun" or "funny" Mel.

In other words, right now?

He's a big poop.

NOCanadianbathroom.

Hard to find.

Like the funny in this haunted hootenanny of a so-called trip report. I'd have an easier time finding an Ann Coulter book in the Wellsely library.

Last Day at Disney.

DID YOU NOT JUST GET THERE? If you didn't spend so much time leaving water parks to go to Walmart and that craphole of a salad bar, you could have had more time in WDW.

Thank you for ALWAYS bringing the funny. You have a gift for telling stories, and my family thinks I am crazy

Maybe your family thinks you're crazy because you think Mel "always" brings the funny? From where I sit (bathroom?) she almost NEVER brings the funny. NOHumaAbedin (hi Ash)

I wish I was writing a Trip Report. Now that Mel's is blissfully, mercifully coming to an end. But our last Disney venture was to the Land. I don't think those TRs are permitted here. And let's face it, I'm one Hillary Rodham Clinton joke away from being banished.

Also, we've been asked to "hold the religion." Like it's mayonnaise. Which it aint.



Edit to add: Roll Tide! Beat the Dawgs!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Hola!!

erinyella: Thanks you! Very sweet. Makes me happy to make you laff. And although ZZUB disagrees... I think they're funny at times too.

He's a bit of a donkey tho NOMel.

ZZUBettyBBOOP:

I wish you would write a trippie. TBH. And... although I'm not religious like you are. I don't mind the religious parts of your trip reports.

It's funnier than your other stuff. And a good break in the non-action.

Hehe heh

No. Actually... I think it's nice. so there.


Guess what???? *THIS* particular trippie may be coming to a close. And it was a short trip because I was a bite worried to leave everyone else behind. A trial trip. However. Worked out great!!

Meaning this: Going to Disney AGAIN real soon! Real soon! FOOD and Whining! And... then... another TWO trips planned this year as well. Lotsa other happyhaunts along too.


I know. Tho. That the threat of more new happyhaunt trippies makes your tail knot. Real tight.


Just the way I like it!!!


Cheers, Mel.



ROL AIDS!!!




P.S. Be on the lookout for a delivery in the next day or so. I have sent you a premium POUTINE PIZZA!!! Canadian delicacy. Pizza base, fries, cheese curds and gravy plus more cheese. Tiniest dusting of "parsley". It's coming to your office not your home tho. Not sure the fam should share the love. Don't offer any to your new office cleaning lady either. The nice blond French Spanish speaking one.

You WILL need rolaids. Tfi. And... a ventilator.

 

[AshClan]

Melly, just wanted to say HI! We're back!! I'll send you some pictures later. I am about 2 chapters behind and swamped in work (which, let's be honest, is where I am when I do the bulk of my reading and posting). I will be back with comments soon! Oh, and I'm mega excited for you and the other happyhaunts for your upcoming trip! When I send pictures, I'll also give you a list of must have food booth stuff ; ) (Even though we did not do NEARLY enough Food & Whining on this trip....)

 

[Yzma and Kronk]

MMMMMMMEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

"We'reeeeeeee baaaaaack"

LOL on Ashcan giving you a list of Food & Whine "must have's" There wasn't that much EPCOT Food & Get Drunk going on. Lots in other places on property though....

I got to a total of one booth - Lobster Roll in American Adventure. I did walk around the world once and got one of my beloved Gingerita's at the Tea cart in China. Guess what?
They changed it.
Grrrrrr
It is now a frozen drink.
Grrrrrrr
It used to be a refreshing "pour over ice" with RUM!
Now it's just a slushy Gingery thang. (NOPrinceHarry)

I had to leave the country on Monday, but the rest of the troups hit the world running and managed to sample a few more offerings.

I think they said CANADA was the best!

Of course it is.

I did you proud. Except when walking past Canada and "Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" was playing.
I planned on belting out the lyrics......and I went blank.

Oh well, the legend will live on from the Chippewa on down....

Hee-hee!


So, I just caught up on your TR.
And Laundry.
And Bill paying.
And work
And Jay's stats - no a fan either, but been known to jump on that 'ol band wagon cuz we all know we have one very sadsad sports team here....so this should pump up the volume

Love the crushback....rode it twice recently and was crushed by 'lil Sher. She really comes at full force on those hair pin turns. Second time, Frick and I got a wee bit close - enough room on the seat to allow 2.5 more people. But it was in all good fun fun fun.

Heat of the Moment.....L0L!

Didn't know this TR was just a short one.

Looking forward to part two when you return on your second adventure!!

Tell Mellyman to NOT look at any exchange rates......

Lunch at Cindy's castle - all though loverly, with priceless company.....still cost me $100 Canukian dollars.
For a Disney Salad and Dessert. NOTheKeg.

Edited: WTH with the small font???

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Thursday July 16th aka Part 5 of Day 5 aka I Guess I'm on a Freakin' Disney Diet!

You guys know what's really fun at Disney? Eating in a restaurant in peak summer Flo rida temps. Wet like a June bride taking photos in a park circa '93 in the rain pretending blond frizzies weren't a problem. Not at all. NOMel. With the air conditioning blasting like The General's advise about the taming of the tresses. NOMom.

What I'm sayin' here is this: Wasn't a "Good Feeling" tfi. Again.

But was hoping, like on my wedding day, it meant "good luck". That's what everyone told Me(l) over and over.

Spoiler. It didn't.

We sat down at our table in the porch-like back room where they put real real wet soaked people. Cause... it's infinitely colder than in the main room where the door to the outside opens quite regularily to send a bit of warmth and sustainable solar energy inside.

Not to us tho... in the cursed "Gazebo" room.

We looked at the menu while shivering and ordered water and a Co-ACK-a-Cola for Me(l).

Then I decided to have a garden salad to start. (Best to prolong the pain. Don't wanna be called a Wet Gazebo Baby by dining and dashing!)

I'm toughing it out~ The General Jr. A said wannabe.

Oh... ranch dressing on the side. VERY IMPORTANT.

I'm a bit of a Salad Dressing Baby. Hate it goopy. Slopped on. And soggee-ing up my nice crisp lettuce and veggies.

Truth is...

Over-dressed Caesar salads make Me(l) want to unleash Hell.

What I'm sayin' here is this:

How we dress our salads in life... echoes in eternity.

Mellyman opted out of an appetizer to just watch me slowly slowly eat my salad. while shivering and glaring. Romantically.

Then we waited longer for our mains.

We both ordered exactly the same. EXACTLY. *note*

Reuben sandwiches. Fries on the side. Exactly the same. One should think. Wouldn't one thinkest?????? That they would be THE SAME?

One WOULD. In my world. But... not in Disney World. apparently.

Cause when they came to the table... they weren't the same. At all.

Mellyman's was all piled high with crispy hot delicious fries. Like a whole heaping basket of fries almost overwhelming his sandwich.

I had 7 fries on my plate. If that. And they were lukewarm and soggy. UNLEASH HELLLLLLLLL!!!!!! BAYBEEEE!!!!!!

Me(l): What the frick? (I tenderly unleashed Heck)

Mellyman: What? ok. I have way more fries than you? Don't I?

Me(l): Ya. Not just a few. But a whole lot more. How does a kitchen send this out to the same table????

Mellyman: Maybe you were annoying them with "Dressing on the side. Make sure the dressing is on the side. On the side ok? That stuff."

(tight lip smile)

Me(l): Maybe they think I'm fat. Do I look fat today? Is it the wet muffin top gutslide?

Mellyman: Probably. (tiny bit of teeth smile)

Me(l): Heh heh. Give me some. Pleaaaassssseee!


To Mellyman's credit he gave me like five more. Which was cruel. Cause they were so perfect. Crispy hot but soft and pulpy in side. Perfect fries. Mine were *meh*. They had sat for a bite for sure. It was kinda cruel to just shoot me a few but, but he also said I had had an appetizer salad while he didn't and he was pretty hungry.

Fair enuff.

But... I grumbled about it as I ate "our" fries. And continued to comment on "How can you send out two exact plates? Two exact orders but they look completely different??? To the SAME table???"

There's a song coming... somewhere here...

When suppertime came the old cook came on deck
Sayin' fellas it's too rough to feed ya
At 7pm a main hatchway caved in
He said fellas its been good to know ya
The Captain wired in he had fries comin in
But the good guests and their reubens in peril

It was a good Canadian wreck. NOD Yak.

Plus we were wet too. A classic. I think.

Or not. It's stupid olo. Who cares!

The sandwiches were good tho. As usual. A good ol standby lunch in MK. Then. We paid and left.

To stand outside the Plaza and soak up some heat and try to dry out for five minutes. Then I went to the bathroom which is NOT in the restaurant. Cause they don't have a bathroom. How weird is that? And then I left my sunglasses in the bathroom and then we started walking towards Adventureland cause I still wanted dessert but could not bear to sit in The Plaza any longer. Plus I had a lil sumpin' sumpin' on my mind. So we walked all the way there and got to the bridge and then I realized I had left my sunglasses in the bathroom and had to go all the way back to *almost* Tomorrowland (ya I think it IS Tomorrowland total body hug) essentially to get them. But, they were right were I left them by the sinks whew.

Then we walked back to Adventureland AGAIN where I needed to get a Dole Whip Float and I needed to make Mellyman have one taste at least.

He wasn't having it at all. Any of it.

I kept talking about how good they are. And that he had never tried one yet. And I thought he should try it. Even a bite and he wasn't wanting to.

Over and over again.

Cause I had done this on the first walk over too.

And then I said. "You're gonna try it!!! You ARE!!!"


Mellyman hit PLAY on OUR GAME (OH YEAH) and said, "MAKE ME MEL!!!! IF YOU DARE!!!" And. then. he full out laughed.


THE GAME IS A FOOT!!!!


Or shall we say:


THE GAME IS A BIG SPOON!!!!


Cheers, Mel.



Edit: Thanks Ash for the list!!! Hey YAK!!! Edmund Fitz!!! *Booyewah* Cause those the the real words. Promise.

 

[AshClan]

Okay, I'm sitting here shivering because your rain-soaked-in-A/C story made me COLD. I must go get some tea. But. First. A few things.

BTMRR body crush phenom: HOW, tell me HOW, do people ride this thing with their arms raised the whole time? I have tried and failed. The MINUTE you let go of that bar and raise your hands up, you smash into the person next to you. I have never understood it. I love the ride, but it takes some serious upper body conditioning (and a tight core, NOFrick) to avoid the slam/crush and crushback that you so enjoyed dishing out. Until you didn't.

Cause... I really wanted to but no one asked. saidly. Crickets a bite. Ash would've asked I'm sure.


And so here it comes... down the pipe. NOSplashM.


The Sprout Pants Story.

You are correct, I would've asked. In fact, while I read that chapter in transit, either at the airport or maybe on a Disney bus, I most certainly thought to myself, "Gotta ask for that story". Alas, I didn't get back on time to ask, so thanks for sharing it! Funny. But even funnier is the "Don't be a ______ baby" thing. I love that, and all the possibilities I can envision. Might have to incorporate it into my repertoire. If you don't mind.

Then came the classic Mellyman retort to Me(l): "Do you know that if I had, if fact, killed you on our first date? I would be OUT by now."

Bwahahaha. Love it. And I love that your kids love it, too. Nothing like a family who can good-naturedly joke about killing each other!

I am happy to hear you made it to the HM. Not that there was really any doubt. OH....while I think of it.....here is a breaking news/MK ride update. We rode POC last week. Just as it opened. In between shut downs. Seems it was only "reopened" for about 20 minutes at a time. Then it was not. Then it was again. At any rate, just as we were walking away from a shut down, they re-opened for the 12th time that day and we slipped in. My news is this. Don't sit up front. Y'know how they've always had that "you may get wet" sign out front? Well, you WILL. If you are in the front. And I am talking about a soaking wet seat of the pants kind of wet. From the WAVE that splashes into the front of the boat at the bottom of the biggest little drop. I was in the second row and got just a tiny bit wet, but our girls up front were DRENCHED. Seriously, like, "I'm going back to the room to change into dry pants" kind of wet. So. Consider yourself warned!! And save that info when you are there with the fam. I'm sure you have a couple of family members who you'd like to trick into that one..... We asked a CM upon exiting if this tidal wave is part of the new reno, and she said yes, and "they put a sign out front". I said, that sign's always been there, which she denied. But my girls backed me up so I'm pretty sure that the CM was FOS.

Glad you liked the Food & Whine list. If you eat the Haggis, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Can't stomach it (NOOrganmeats). I'd rather eat undercooked 'Ohana chicken wings. Maybe.

Are you going to get this sucker finished before you leave for your next trip? I'm doubtful. But we'll be here! And then when you finish this one, you can start the next!! Bet you are glad you got your APs and TIW card before the prices went up, aren't ya?!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Someone is an organ meat BABY!!!


also a shopping baby.

Big Tall baby!


(fun ain't it olo!)

Heh heh heh heh.

Cheers, Mel.

edit: Haggis is the BEST stuff on earth. in my top 5. Even the name and the sound!!!!

Heaven!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Thursday July 16th aka Part 5 1/2 of Day 5 aka Get Your napple ON!!!!

We got back to Adventureland and went straight to Aloha Isle!!!

Where I said "Aloha Dole Whip Flo-AT!"

And proceeded to purchase one plus a bottle of water. Not my first Dole Whip Float. Btw. YOU NEED WATER!!! Need water. Big huge amounts of water to wash it down. And into the large intestine.


Where the water bottle water will be absorbed leaving residue behind from pineapples, potatoes, lettuce, tiny bit o ranch dressing, carrots, cucumbers, onions, cheese meat bread blah yada blah. Except... for corn. Nothing is ever absorbed from corn. Corn enters and leaves the body in the exact same form. Whole kernels. Same colour. Size and texture. Same for nuts.

Nod. To Vector. Our "Lotsa corn in my poop today" Director.

I paid for my lovely treat and asked for a spoon. The CM said, "In the flatware dispenser."

Then I said, "But, I want a good spoon. A real spoon to enjoy this. Do you have any better bigger spoons?"

"No"

"Really? Cause I..."

"Next please."

*sigh*

Then I turned and showed Mellyman my Whip. And my teeth. He showed me his middle finger. On his left hand. Right beside his band of perpetual loving.

Ironically.

Then we grabbed a lil table guy to sit at. Right beside the counter. And I asked him to get Me(l) a spoon. From the dispenser thingie. He was closer to it.

He gave me a fork.

Then a knife.

Then a fork again.

I asked him for a napkin.

Got another fork. And yet, no napkin.

Asked for a napkin.

Got a "serviette" (he said that and... also... why call it a napkin?). Plus... a spoon. Finally.


*This may be why we missed a few rides lol*


However... on the romantic front... all was well. I also (*WE* also) likes it this way! Strangely. Very strangely. But... it works for us lol.


I dug in after opening my bottle of water.

Ohhhhhh sooo good!!! I missed u my dear dear Dole Whip Float!!!! Heart heart heart YOU!!!! Almost as much as I miss my sweet defined abs. But... just a thinkin' on this... there could be a direct correlation right there. Maybe.

Me(l): Oh Melly! It's so good! Have at 'er! Please!!!

Mellyman: I'm good. No thanks.

Me(l): Please! Please! Try it for me!

Mellyman: NO. And, I said I don't want to a number of times recently. And I am not crazy about pineapple juice. And, clearly, I already told you NO THANK YOU a bunch of times.

Me(l): You like pineapples tho!!!

Mellyman: Not the same. So. NO!

Me(l): You dared me. tho.

Mellyman: Ya. But... I was kidding. I don't want any. You enjoy please. And stop.

Me(l): Ok. I guess it's gonna be all When Harry Met Sally then.

Mellyman: Haahhahaha. You wouldn't?!

Me(l): Watch me! (big bite... rolling it all around in my mouth. Head back. Eyes shut.) OH GOD! Uhhmmmmm!!! OH yes. OH...oh... that's good. Yes. yes. Good!!! Like that!!!!

Mellyman: hush

Me(l): Yummmm. Uh huh, ohhhhh, gooooood!!!!!

Mellyman: Crap Mel!! OK! Ok. Give me a taste. Shut up.


Heh heh.

And, then, he tried it. For his first time ever. Looking guilty. While darting his eyes left and right and then, amazingly, splitting them up and going all reverse cross-eyed Mary.

He signs no contract. But he ALWAYS plays the game!!!! Heh heh

And *this* particular game I won!!!



However... the good outcome was that he said that it was pretty tasty. It surprised him. And he even had a second bite. Then chugged my water real good.

Then he said he knew why I had bought the water. Along with the Dole Whip Flo-AT.


It was all good, even when he said that I should bite him!!! Heh heh.

It was a big Dole Whip Float and I eat ice cream even *slower* than most anything else. It had all completely melted into a delicious napply pool by the time I was done. But... I think that makes it even better tbh. It was good and then we were on to other things.

Back to Fantasyland! Where we had to check out the changes. Look all around. Especially. Look at 7DMT. Just look... cause my first impression was that it looked kinda lame. And we weren't waiting in the line for that. Today. Then off to Gaston's Tavern where I wanted to show him something special that I thot he would appresh.

The giant roasted pork shanks. Kinda like the big turkey legs he loves at Disney.

I was right on the money!!! He was smitten. Immediately. And said that next trip he was getting three. For him and the boys.

Beth and I were obviously out. Cause of the giant meat club gross eating in public factor.

It's something that the boys will be right into tho. While Beth and I go elsewhere. Prolly to get her a Sleepy Hollow strawberry waffle. Cause Beth is all about waffle desserts. But not unnaturally large chunks of meat on bone.

Fred Flintstone's tooth floss. Basically.

Mellyman is truly Fred Flintstone. And I am Wilma. Pearls and all. Slindog is certainly Dino. Seriously. Dinoish. Lil girl. Dogdog.

Then we headed out and ran into Gaston HIMSELF!!!!

With a big line of mostly girls and women waiting for a photo opportunity. With him.

And this turned into one of the BEST moments of our trip where I watched Mellyman stop. Watch. Start laughing and turn to me and say "It's Calvin!!"

Then watch some more. Grab his phone and start recording the whole thing while laughing soft then louder then basically squealing with laughter.


Ya. It was really funny and basically *totally* Calvin.


Down to the exercising of the "Thighseps reps"


(All this to come. Tommorrow.)

Cause I'm having some last minute ADR stress. lol. That needs tending to.


Cheers, Mel.


P.S. Biergarten? Or Via Napoli???? Gotta drop one. Soooo difficult.

:S

 

[liquid17]

Your TR is getting me so excited for our JUST US trip! elaxed and goofy sounds just about right to me!

I have never had a Dole Whip. A simple Mickey Bar does it for me! And a Brownie Sundae at the Plaza...but not usually on the same day. And never while soaked. No ice cream when I am freezing.

It's funny how getting soaked is never a good memory, unless it is getting soaked at Disney. Then it is a fond memory! Even the part where we sat in the laundry room with our sneakers in the dryer for hours and hours.

As for

Gaston - he was one of the highlights of our last trip. They all enjoyed the flirting!

Wow. That picture is very large. But I am not techy enough to shrink it, so it stays.

ADR stress - hahaha. I am glad someone other than me is partaking in some of that angst right now! I ended up with Teppan Edo but I keep thinking of Via Napoli. We'll see!!!

 

[AshClan]

Via Napoli, girl. That's my vote. Not that I've ever been to the Biergarten (should I be ashamed?). But you can't beat the pizza and the cute Italian men at VN. The Candele pasta is yummy too. If you decide on Biergarten instead, then I recommend stopping in to Tutto Gusto to get your Italian fix.

Funny that you spent time hanging out and watching Gaston. I did the same last week. I definitely vote for him as best character interaction. I've never stood in line to actually meet him, of course, but I love watching and listening. I assume you've seen the YouTube videos? The push-up contest and the little girl berating him? Awesome! His balance of egocentricity and snark is right up your alley. Now I've just gotta meet Calvin!