The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[Plantlady]

I do have to agree that the homemade food items are usually not the best thing to give and most teachers I know will not eat them (due to allergies, weight issues or other). Don't even get me started on the mugs. I wait for a whole box of them to accumulate in the garage and then donate them to our church bazaar. Whoever came up with giving the teacher a mug for Christmas should be sent to detention! And please, don't give us pictures of your child. We see them every day and they aren't our children so we aren't going to display them like you would.

This is an interesting thread. As a child of teachers, as a spouse of a teacher, and as an educator myself.

When I was in college, I went back to visit my fifth grade teacher. She had an amazing bulletin board put up. It had photos of all her students, for the past 25 years. Her current students were able to find their parents. I searched until I found myself, and smiled, knowing she had my photo still.

My son's current first grade teacher has a similar bulletin board. He came home very excited from school, when he got his school pictures, and told me, if he took his teacher a picture, he could have one of hers! She too, has a wonderful display (I pulled a corner of it off of the school website)

As for me and DH, we've both received homemade treats, and LOVED them.

I think, as with ANYONE, it varies. To lump all people of one occupation together, and state what they would or would not like for Christmas, based solely upon their career choice is not easy

 

[RobinFabulous]

Well I feel like a $+%^*y parent. There hae been years I've given really nice expensive gifts and years I've given cheaper ones.
I have a special needs child and yesterday in his IEP meeting I noticed the cute wooden sign I had painted for his teacher hanging on her wall, so I'm pretty sure she liked it

I give with an open heart, what I can afford and hope they will like. I don't do homemade food gifts because I'm leeary of eating homemade things from people I don't know their kitchens ;-)

This year I bought these FABULOUS bagtags/keychains that have personalized initials on them, I'm putting them in the middle of clear chinese takeout containers, and filling them with prewrapped candy. One of my extra special teachers (she's had Jonah 2 years & had Hannah as well) I bought her an ornament personalized for her family at a craft show. I also bought one of these for our ballet teacher. All the helpers are getting the keychains/candy. WWW.bronwynhanahan.com the keychains can be bagtags or bookmarks. The other two got the ornaments and candy. Hannah's male teacher is getting a small giftcard in the candy.

You do what you can I've also given the Godiva wrapped boxes of candy and the FerrRocher boxes. I do hope they haven't been trashed, they were totally wrapped

 

[christiane]

Every year in the beginning of December, our schools have a Scholastic Book Fair. Many teachers set up a "wish list" of books they would like for their classrooms.

My children choose which books they want to donate & those become part of the teacher's Christmas gifts.

 

[torinsmom]

I just have to ask about the candle thing.. why?
We just bought some Yankee candles with their B2G2 sale on the big jars. I thought those would make lovely gifts for ds's teachers.
If the teacher doesn't like the scent, those are easy to re-gift. But I thought everyone loved YC!

I don't use candles in my home. For one thing, some scents give me a migraine and for another, I have four active cats, and it would not be relaxing to have a burning candle in my home, LOL. Of course, if your child's teacher does not use these, she will probably not trash them; they are great for regifting to people who LOVE candles.

I don't throw anything I receive away. I can always find another teacher to use the scented things that I can't have, as well as other gifts that I know I won't use. The weirdest gift I ever got was a lipstick in really deep red(I have never worn lipstick, LOL) and I even found someone who could use that. Just because I don't keep a gift does not mean I don't appreciate the thoughtfulness behind it. That being said, I have always given gift cards, and last year when I wasn't even sure what kind to buy, I gave $10 cash to each of my son's teachers with a nice note of appreciation. I don't find giing gift cards or cash tacky or lazy; being a teacher, I know that teachers can always use $.

Oh, and if you write your child's teacher a heartfelt note, you can always give a copy to her principal. Sometimes it seems like we only get called into the principal's office when a parent complains; it sure would be nice to have him call you in to commend you.

Marsha

 

[fiveforall]

I'm a high school teacher at a low income school. I have received few store bought gifts over the years; however I truly treasure the following gifts I have received.

1. Christmas cards with heartfelt notes (I have a scrapbook filled with these. When I have a bad day, they always make me feel better.)
2. a dollar store cross trinket given to me by a 9th grade student. It had a note on the bottom of it that thanked me for loving her. (I will forever keep this on a shelf in my house.)
3. ornaments (On the ornament, I write down the student's name and the date.)
4. a pan of chicken and dressing (One mom brought me some that she had made. It was delicious and the thought of her efforts really touched me.)

The kids at my school are so very poor, and the notes they have given me are worth far more than gold. BTW, they all get a handwritten note from me too!

And as a side note.......my own kids' teachers are getting BP gas cards!

 

[karinbelle]

You know what? Next year I think I will take teachers off my list since so many of you want to dictate what someone buys you.

I bought my daughter's two teachers, special needs counselor and school nurse, baskets from B&BW with full size items...if it was so damn stinky I do not think they would be doing so well for so many years and have so many stores! I purchased Yankee candle votives in a three pack with a Christmas ornament on top and a votive holder, again, many people including myself love candles and Yankee does very good business. I bought each of them the 10-piece red and gold Godiva packages and I included a ten dollar gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles. I figured they could take a relaxing bath, light the candle, eat good chocolate and read a good paperback. I really appreciate them and all their dedication and hard work and I thought it was a thoughtful gift, not that it would be looked at as junk to be thrown away or given away.

I was excited about giving them their gift baskets, including cards of thanks and now I just feel horrible that they will hate what I purchased for them. It is the thought that counts, and for someone to have thought of you and spent their hard earned money and/or time on another person should be appreciated, not scoffed at!

Please don't take these suggestions the wrong way.

It's the thought that counts, not the gift. Take back the B&BW stuff and relieve your credit card. Instead, have your child write a personal note of thanks to the teacher. They will treasure it and it will save your pocketbook.

I'm sure all teachers are appreciative of the thought of the gift more than the gift itself.

I'm a highschool teacher, and I hardly get anything. I have 90+ kids and maybe three or four will think of me. I treasure the cards they give - even if they just sign their name to the bottom.

No, I don't eat the cookies they give me unless I know them pretty well. But I always thank them and I love them for thinking of me.

 

[ajk912]

Some people do not like gift cards, just because you like them does not mean others do and others maybe offended. So the answer is no gifts:

I can't think of one scenario why someone wouldn't like a gift card. Anyone want to clue me in? I always do a big box store like Target or Walmart. If nothing else, they can pick up a box of cereal and a gallon of milk on me. Hey, it's less they have to pay for! Why wouldn't you like a gift card? I don't want to offend anyone, seriously.

 

[MiniGirl]

I always read these threads with interest. Last year (or maybe it was the year before) I was flamed BIG TIME for even mentioning that I was thinking of making a donation to a charity in my child's teacher's name. In fact, one DISer posted that she was a teacher and a gift like that would become the talk of the teacher's lounge -- and not in a good way. I wanted to donate to a charity that teaches children in third world countries to read, and teaching reading was this particular teachers passion. For my other daughter's teacher, I was going to donate money towards a goat for a community in a third world country. (Animals and young children were her passion.) In the end, I got them a gift card. I didn't want my dds' gifts to them to be the talk of the teacher's lounge.

 

[Cindy B]

I always read these threads with interest. Last year (or maybe it was the year before) I was flamed BIG TIME for even mentioning that I was thinking of making a donation to a charity in my child's teacher's name. In fact, one DISer posted that she was a teacher and a gift like that would become the talk of the teacher's lounge -- and not in a good way. I wanted to donate to a charity that teaches children in third world countries to read, and teaching reading was this particular teachers passion. For my other daughter's teacher, I was going to donate money towards a goat for a community in a third world country. (Animals and young children were her passion.) In the end, I got them a gift card. I didn't want my dds' gifts to them to be the talk of the teacher's lounge.

Don't worry about being the "talk". I would much rather have kids that did something for other kids versus other moms trying to keep up with the other mothers.

I work in a very poor district. Every one of my kids is on the poverty line, every one receives assistance of some kind. If I get a note, I will be THRILLED!

I've seen some mothers where they always outdo the other parent. It's the gift that is wrapped the prettiest and noted what is the best.

One year as a class gift, the parents bought a wooden rocking chair and another parent painted it as the "author's chair". My daughter got to either paint her name or her initials on it. That teacher is no longer in a classroom (she is a coordinator) but she still talks about that chair.


As a parent, don't try to outdo others. One pp mentioned taking things back and doing a heartfelt note or letter.

 

[MiniGirl]

Don't worry about being the "talk". I would much rather have kids that did something for other kids versus other moms trying to keep up with the other mothers.

I work in a very poor district. Every one of my kids is on the poverty line, every one receives assistance of some kind. If I get a note, I will be THRILLED!

I've seen some mothers where they always outdo the other parent. It's the gift that is wrapped the prettiest and noted what is the best.

One year as a class gift, the parents bought a wooden rocking chair and another parent painted it as the "author's chair". My daughter got to either paint her name or her initials on it. That teacher is no longer in a classroom (she is a coordinator) but she still talks about that chair.


As a parent, don't try to outdo others. One pp mentioned taking things back and doing a heartfelt note or letter.

This is actually always part of my Teacher Appreciation Gift. My mom taught for over 20 years, and she was thankful for each gift she received; and when she died, we realized that she kept every non-perishable gift as well. Her favorites, however, were the letters. She also saved all of those and would take them out and read them periodically. She always said those were the ones that made teaching worhwhile.

 

[happycamper83]

I, too, am a teacher & this is my first year teaching. I teach at a residential high school that students pay tuition to attend. I know paying tuition is already a huge expense for my students' parents, so I am not expecting them to buy me anything for Christmas. If I do receive something, especially if it is something my students have picked out and paid for themselves, I will be very grateful. I am paid 30% less than I would be making at a public school and while this is no fault of my students or parents and I would never expect anyone to take pity on me because of it... I am living "on the edge" financially all the time. Because of that, giftcards would certainly be my gift of choice. Ornaments, candles, lotions, etc are very thoughtful and I will cherish them nonetheless, but they are a luxury I don't need and in such rough financial times, a gift card to a book store or office supply store are what I really "need". I have already spent over $1000 of my own money on classroom supplies and there is so much more I would love to be able to enrich my program, but I have reached the limit of what I can give. A goodie bag with various school supplies makes just as excited as a kid on christmas morning, too! Give me post-its, pens, pencils, stickers, binders anyday!!

 

[amyy]

If you're a good cook we love your food. There is one parent in particular who cooks on the holidays ... I can't think of anything we would rather have. Granted all the ideas are good-especially the letter. In terms of food you can always call the school and ask the policy.

 

[Kellydelly]

I just have to ask about the candle thing.. why?
We just bought some Yankee candles with their B2G2 sale on the big jars. I thought those would make lovely gifts for ds's teachers.
If the teacher doesn't like the scent, those are easy to re-gift. But I thought everyone loved YC!

No, not everyone likes candles. Some people are allergic to burning candles. I have a few piled up in a closet that were gifts I can't use.

 

[cinnamon-sugah]

Just a suggestion for those teachers who receive too many knick-knacks. At the school where I work, one of the teachers puts a large box in the teacher's lounge the last week before Christmas for us to fill with gifts that we can't use. The last day of school, she takes the whole box down the street to a nearby assisted living facility. The nurses there take some gifts out to give to residents that normally won't get anything and the others are left for residents to choose to keep or give as gifts to others. Since I am an assistant, I rarely receive gifts from the kids or the parents but I could NEVER throw away a gift that a child has given me (and I wouldn't sell them at a yard sale either) but this way, if there is something that I can't use, at least I know that it has gone to someone who will be truly blessed by it. The residents love the extra mugs and chocolate!

As far as homemade treats go, our school has a HUGE cookie exchange a few days before the holidays. Parents send in goodies that are arranged on tables in the cafeteria by the PTA. We each receive a box and go down the tables choosing goodies. It's one of the most popular events of the year among the faculty and staff!!!

 

[mkymouse1928]

As the daughter of a teacher, I have enjoyed many home made goodies over the years! My dad appreciates and writes a thank you note to each of his students. Yes, he has received countless mugs, and yes he still has them.

Some of the great gifts that he has received are science themed books (he teaches science to 4, 5, and 6th graders), as well as other science themed gifts.

All Christmas ornaments are hung on my parents' tree every year. There are probably as many, or more, ornaments made by his students as there are made by myself and my siblings!

Gift cards are also appreciated. My parents have been able to enjoy a nice dinner out, or dessert at a local ice cream place because of the thoughtfulness of dad's "kids".

 

[Teacher03]

The gift that I remember most of all was a ring from a little boy. He told his mom that he wanted to marry me when he grew up, and that is what the ring was for. I wore it proudly all year. Twelve years later it is still in my jewelry box. I get it out and put it on when I need a reminder about why I teach. It's the thought that counts, sometimes we all need reminded of that. (Myself included!)

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I have yet, in all of these threads, ever heard a teacher claim not to like gc's. However, many have claimed not to like mugs, candles, and ornaments. The only angry tone in this thread are your in your posts, stating that because teachers here have admitted to not liking body lotion, you were no longer going to buy gifts for teachers - ridiculous. Everyone else either agreed, or were thankful for the heads up.

This has nothing to do with your parents dislike of gc's - I am basing my gift idea of what 99.9% of teachers here (and those I know IRL) would appreciate. If most teachers posted that they didn't like receiving gc's, I'd ask what they would appreciate.

You are ridiculous, honey, not me! I have six children and four of them are now in college and I have been room mother and substitute teached for many years and I heard very few teachers complain...and by the way, MY MOM WAS A TEACHER! I do not have an angry tone, YOU DO, I had a SAD TONE...do not project your emotions on to me. I will continue to give gifts, I gave gifts for 18 years, but if there is going to be constant complaining of what people give you, then yes, I will end up giving nothing.

And no not tell me that I am not allowed to have an opinion because it is different from others....and there where a couple others that were in disagreement to your post.

I feel sorry for anyone that has to deal with you on a daily basis. First you want to dictate what people can and cant buy and then you want to tell others what they feel and what they can say...power trip much?

While you are certainly allowed to have an opinion, I have to agree with mjkakmom, you seem to be needlessly angry about something. You don't have to be defensive about your gift, I think it is lovely, and if you want to give it then by all means, do so. ....but the teachers here are just trying to help. And calling someone "Honey" in the context you are using is just plain rude.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Hmm - someone needs a new user name

I was thinkin'......

 

[La2kw]

I am a teacher, and IMO, the best gift a teacher can get is to have a parent who's involved in their child's education and who supports the teacher in helping their child develop into responsible, educated, citizens.

That said, many parents enjoy giving gifts of appreciation, and I don't want to disappoint them! However, I also throw out homemade food items, mugs, ornaments, candles, etc. I don't donate them to charity because I don't want my student or parent to accidently see it somewhere. As far as food, I never eat any food item a parent makes for me. I have no idea how clean their kitchen is, or whether or not it has something I'm allergic to in it. I'm not going to risk the chance of getting sick just to be polite. I once had a parent tell me that her and the "girls" made cookies for me. I didn't realize she had any daughters, and asked her about that. She told me the "girls" were her two cats! Our school district also has a policy against homemade food.

I also agree about the candles. I'm a man in my 40's. I don't need scented candles. I'd much rather have a note of thanks from the student and/or parent, a box of pencils, a ream of paper, or any other school supply. A $5 gift card to Target or Starbuck's is also sufficient if they want to buy something.

It's not necessary to spend a lot of money, or any money at all!

 

[Dr. J.]

Well I guess I get to keep the Yankee Candles I just ordered. When did candles become the new fruitcake. Maybe scratch tickets or a fistful of ones folded into an origami swan (my sarcasm is an attempt to lighten what has become a heated discussion). I do empathize with other posters who extend themselves to choose thoughtful gifts. Maybe I should just give everyone on my whole list the gift card. Would definitely simplify the process. Problem with them, is if the store goes bankrupt, they are not honored.