The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[meliss8599]

As a teacher, I can't tell you how many times my coworkers and I have talked after the holidays how we wish parents would spend the $5.00 on a gift card than on the trinket. Parents may think it "looks better" to get a $5 trinket than to give a $5 gift card. Those gift cards add up and are MUCH MORE appreciated!!!

While it IS the thought that counts, you do feel bad when parents get trinkets and we as teachers can only store and find places for so many of them.

 

[momx2]

I think it is rude to not fully appreciate every gift you recieve and I'm not sure they all are by the OP. While I think SerenOne is a little too defensive I think her point is well taken. Basically she spent a lot of time and money to buy very thoughtful gifts and the OP is basically telling her that they are not appropriate. As long as thought goes into a gift the gift is appropriate and should be appreciated. It sounds like the teachers are going to say in the back of their mind and in the teachers lounge, "great another yankee candle." That is just sad, IMO.

Two years ago I went to buying gift cards, but hated it because I thought it was thoughtless and lazy. I'm glad to know I was wrong since evidently that is the only appreciated monetary gift a parent can buy.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I think it is rude to not fully appreciate every gift you recieve and I'm not sure they all are by the OP. While I think SerenOne is a little too defensive I think her point is well taken. Basically she spent a lot of time and money to buy very thoughtful gifts and the OP is basically telling her that they are not appropriate. As long as thought goes into a gift the gift is appropriate and should be appreciated. It sounds like the teachers are going to say in the back of their mind and in the teachers lounge, "great another yankee candle." That is just sad, IMO.

Two years ago I went to buying gift cards, but hated it because I thought it was thoughtless and lazy. I'm glad to know I was wrong since evidently that is the only appreciated monetary gift a parent can buy.

I think we are attacking the messenger here. The OP was just telling us what a lot of teachers think. She didn't make it up, and I have heard it over and over in countless threads here on the Dis. If Serenone doesn't agree with this and thinks her gift will be appreciated and not tossed aside, then she should give it without a second thought. And we have heard from a few teachers that cherish and appreciate all the gifts they receive, no matter what, and keep them forever....or get rid of them. It IS the thought that counts. The OP is just trying to let us in on a reality of life. Appreciating something and actually using it are two different things.

I am actually a little offended when someone says that giving a GC is being thoughtless and lazy. I would much rather give a gift that I LIKE, such as one of the candles I already bought, or maybe even some of that lotion. But I believe that the safest, most usable gift is a GC. Not lazy, actually a lot of heartfelt thought involved.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

People seem to be missing the point about gift giving, it is the THOUGHT that counts. Do you know the person you are giving the gift(candle, lotion, mug ect) will truly enjoy it, have you talked with them about that sort of thing(not asking specifically, just noting things during your day to day contact), or are you giving it because it is something YOU like so everyone should. IF you don't have the opportunity to get to know much about your childs teacher(like they have cats or small kids so candles are a bit dangerous, or they don't drink coffee, are trying to slim down etc), then a generic gift, like a gift card or a "thank you" note sent about them to the "boss", would actually be more thougthfull in my opinion, then something that you like, so everyone should.

Each teacher is different, so we each have different likes, and dislikes. To say everyone loves this gift and hates that gift is just wrong. So if you know your teacher would love Disney Dollars, then give it to them.

 

[emh1129]

If people so hated bath items and candles, there would be no business for these items, they are in fact very popular and that says something about the appropriateness as gifts. I also never said that gift giving was only about the gifter, not the giftee. It is about both and it is perfectly normal to want a person to be pleased with something you bought for them.

I think it's one of those things where you can't please everyone. There is no perfect gift.
When I was a paraprofessional (in my pre-nursing school days), I thoroughly enjoyed each and every gift. While they may not have all been practical, it was touching that they thought of me.

 

[aladams2]

Growing up we always bought our teacher a poinesetta at the beginning of Dec. and made them a card. That was it. But they got to enjoy the plant all month and all the teachers loved it. They knew what they were getting from our family and were looking forward to it. One of my teachers even brought it up to me a couple years ago on how much she loved getting them from all 3 of us. So that may be another idea.

 

[zoemurr]

I teach preschool and have 2 classrooms of about 40 kids total.

While I agree that we *should* appreciate all the *stuff* we receive, you have to look at it from our end. I can honestly say I appreciate the thought, but the items quickly become overwhelming.

Last year I had 3 huge boxes filled with chocolate, mugs, and candles. I certainly appreciate the thought, but a lot of it did not come into the house. Do all of you have enough room for this, even if you like the things? When you are spending your hard earned $ on something, picture the teacher receiving 30 of them, (every year) and then think again if it is a good idea.

My favorite gift was from Meghan and her family. It was a homemade card with a picture of myself and the child that the mother had taken when she was volunteering. She wrote down a few of Meghan's favorite memories from school, and Meghan colored it and signed her name. This is what will be saved forever.

 

[spaceacewannabe]

I can understand the allergies,

I think you have to know a person on some level to give that...to know about allergies, etc. A neighbor of mine gives out to each of her close neighbors a basket of homemade goodies--magic cookie bars, mini cheescakes, etc...my mouth is drooling thinking about it!

I haven't read the whole thread, but you've made the point I was going to make to you---it's about knowing the person. You clearly have paid attention to what your child's teachers like---seeing them using smelly stuff and making a mental note is really different from assuming that they do. Mugs and lotion can be lazy and generic, or a thoughtful gift for a coffee drinker with dry skin. (ET clarify---no teacher gift is really generic or lazy, just drawing the comparison w/ the gc comment. As a specialist who only gets a few gifts, it really is just nice to be thought of).

Someone mentioned not wanting antibacterial soaps from B&BW---that was one of the things I was going to recommend (and I AM a teacher). One of the most useful gifts I've gotten. With all the germs we're exposed to, I figure I can never have enough soap Mild scents are a good idea; less likely to offend a sensitive nose.

Homemade things can go either way. When it's from a family I know well, I eat it (and in these instances, it was jam and honey...I still have some of the honey-I'm trying to make it last). On the other hand, I've gotten pieces of wrapped candy that I'm hesitant to eat

ETA that notes are the nicest. Those are never thrown away (and they're easy to store to boot!).

 

[ZPT1022]

I'm not a teacher, though I have been a daycare teacher in the past and my best friend and SIL are teachers. We all seem to agree that it is nice to be thought of, even if it is just a card,especially if it comes from one of our more "difficult" kids or their parents.

I definitely have to agree with the person who said don't forget your older children's teachers. I had a few really great teachers in high school. One was a woman, we looooooved her, she was just so nice. My friends and I went out and bought her a big Valentines heart full of candy- she cried and hugged us and told us that it made her day. My senior year math teacher was retiring so three of us girls pitched in and got him a gift card to Borders at the end of the year- again, hugs and tearing up. I guess they don't get thought of very often and when they do it really means something.

for the little kids teachers we do different things for different scenarios- DS is in special ed so we are in touch with his teacher a lot more than the others- I will probably bake for her again as well as a gift card. Last year I baked for the teachers, paras, secretaries and gym teacher. The gym teacher was so excited- he said no one ever thinks of him for those things. And I guess homemade goodies are okay in that school because he lifted the wrap right off and ate some cookies right then and there DD's teacher this year, I don't really know her all too well so she will probably just get a gift card, not sure where- maybe coffee, maybe a book store or maybe just Target. Little DD's teacher, not sure. She is so wonderful and her and DD have such a special relationship, I will probably have DD make her something (like paint an ornament) as well as some baked goods and a gift card. I guess it all depends on how your school/teachers are as well as how much you know them.

 

[ZPT1022]

I have already spent over $1000 of my own money on classroom supplies and there is so much more I would love to be able to enrich my program, but I have reached the limit of what I can give. A goodie bag with various school supplies makes just as excited as a kid on christmas morning, too! Give me post-its, pens, pencils, stickers, binders anyday!!

I find it ridiculous that teachers spend so much of their own money on items for the classroom. DH's sister is a kindergarten teacher and every gift giving occasion, DH and I will give a personal gift and our kids give her school supplies- reams of paper, coloring paper, markers, stickers, pens, glue, etc..... we feel a little silly doing it but she actually uses it all and she says it's nice to have less to buy- she spends THOUSANDS every year buying stuff for the classroom.

. As a specialist who only gets a few gifts, it really is just nice to be thought of).

specialist as in art, music, gym, etc... or occupational therapist, physical therapist, speech, etc...? We make a point to do something for all of DS's special ed teachers but never really thought about the arts teachers- just DS's gym teacher because he works with him more because of his special needs.

So as not to go bankrupt would a Christmas card made by the child be sufficient for arts, library, etc..?

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I think it is rude to not fully appreciate every gift you recieve and I'm not sure they all are by the OP. While I think SerenOne is a little too defensive I think her point is well taken. Basically she spent a lot of time and money to buy very thoughtful gifts and the OP is basically telling her that they are not appropriate. As long as thought goes into a gift the gift is appropriate and should be appreciated. It sounds like the teachers are going to say in the back of their mind and in the teachers lounge, "great another yankee candle." That is just sad, IMO.

Two years ago I went to buying gift cards, but hated it because I thought it was thoughtless and lazy. I'm glad to know I was wrong since evidently that is the only appreciated monetary gift a parent can buy.

Very well said. I'm not a big fan of gift cards - I think they're lazy and I might as well slip the teacher a $20. I have been known to buy gift cards on occasion (movie gift card to a teacher who I know wants to take her own kids to see a movie over Christmas break), but buying a $5 Starbucks card is not my idea of a thoughtful gift unless you know the teacher drinks coffee, prefers Starbucks to another coffee shop, and has the time in the morning to stop and wait in line at Starbucks. I don't drink coffee, so a Starbucks card would be useless to me, unless I want to wait in line for a $3 hot chocolate. It's all about knowing your recipient.

Not to start an argument with anyone who likes to give or receive gift cards - that's great if that is your thing. But to suggest that teachers only want cash is sad. My nine-year old asks for gift cards, too, but she knows she needs to appreciate whatever someone gives to her and appreciate the love behind it.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

Seems like there is a similar thread going on and there always are this time of year and there is always a debate. As a Preschool/Pre-K teacher, I don't want my parents to spend their $$ on me. I know how tight money is these days and I would by far rather the money be spent on the family/child rather than me. I know beyond a doubt that the gifts I've been given have been given with heart and I do truly appreciate them. That being said, I am in no way ever offended if I do not received a gift and rather than getting a gift "for" me I would so much rather it be an item for my class room if a gift "must" be given (as in: the parents feel that is what they want to do). You have no idea how thrilled I would be with a box of tissues! I have to buy these my self and this time of year we go through boxes of them. A box of crayons or staples for my stapler, markers even a new set of scissors. These are all things that I spend my own money on for the class room. Or even donate something that the school needs. Most of all if there is any gift I appreciate it is cards made by my students. It doesn't take much to show your appreciation to a teacher and it doesn't need to cost anything. Personally, I don't ever want my parents to feel that they are obligated to get me a gift just ask the teacher what he or she could use for class if you have a real desire to get a gift. I bet most parents would be surprised how simple the requests are and how much it would mean to us.

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Very well said. I'm not a big fan of gift cards - I think they're lazy and I might as well slip the teacher a $20. I have been known to buy gift cards on occasion (movie gift card to a teacher who I know wants to take her own kids to see a movie over Christmas break), but buying a $5 Starbucks card is not my idea of a thoughtful gift unless you know the teacher drinks coffee, prefers Starbucks to another coffee shop, and has the time in the morning to stop and wait in line at Starbucks. I don't drink coffee, so a Starbucks card would be useless to me, unless I want to wait in line for a $3 hot chocolate. It's all about knowing your recipient.

Not to start an argument with anyone who likes to give or receive gift cards - that's great if that is your thing. But to suggest that teachers only want cash is sad. My nine-year old asks for gift cards, too, but she knows she needs to appreciate whatever someone gives to her and appreciate the love behind it.

Once again someone is confusing the word APPRECIATING with USING. It has been said here by actual teachers that ALL gifts are appreciated, but NOT ALL of them are used.

I totally disagree that a GC is lazy. I do not chose that mode of gifting as a way to get out of shopping. I want to buy something I am sure will be appreciated AND used. And I agree, Starbucks is not for everyone. But a $5 GC to the lady that occasionally comes into my kiddos class that I see in the morning with her Starbucks cup..yeah, I might do that.

 

[momx2]

I think we are attacking the messenger here. The OP was just telling us what a lot of teachers think. She didn't make it up, and I have heard it over and over in countless threads here on the Dis. If Serenone doesn't agree with this and thinks her gift will be appreciated and not tossed aside, then she should give it without a second thought. And we have heard from a few teachers that cherish and appreciate all the gifts they receive, no matter what, and keep them forever....or get rid of them. It IS the thought that counts. The OP is just trying to let us in on a reality of life. Appreciating something and actually using it are two different things.

I am actually a little offended when someone says that giving a GC is being thoughtless and lazy. I would much rather give a gift that I LIKE, such as one of the candles I already bought, or maybe even some of that lotion. But I believe that the safest, most usable gift is a GC. Not lazy, actually a lot of heartfelt thought involved.

First, let me apologize if it seems I am attacking the OP. What I meant was that from the information in the first post it appears that most gifts given to teachers aren't appreciated, not that the OP herself doesn't apprecitate gifts.

Second I said that "I" felt lazy and thoughtless because to be honest with you a GC is something I give when I have no idea what to give someone and I don't want to invest much time thinking about it. I think giving GCs are less personal, IMO.

 

[jenniferripp]

as a teacher i can tell you every gift means something to me because it is the thought that counts but everyone that had posted so far is right that mugs, lotions, candles, ornaments and such do go unused. the BEST gift by far is a note of thanks (to the principal is even better!) teachers are looking to know we are appreciated that's all.

 

[mytwinklestar]

I buy things all year... travel games, note pads, play doh, blocks, stickers, red pens, (things from their wish lists) and things that are extra curricular activities for the children. I make a basket for each teacher. The teacher can use these materials in her classroom as rewards. I was so guilty of buying the "teacher" gifts (mugs/bb&b baskets/candles). Last year was the first year I used the idea of buying fun classroom things. The teachers seemed to appreciate the thought and the fact that the classroom would have these items without their having to spend their own monies. By purchasing items here and there throughout the year, I can make a nice basket without feeling the crunch of buying it all at once. Our teachers are constantly in need of paper towels. They have "wish lists" with other items, too, hand sanitizer, sharpie markers, etc. Ask your teacher if she has a wish list similar to this. You can make a nice package for $10 and buy one of everything on the list. Just another idea.

 

[catne]

3 sisters, all teachers, and I was a preschool teacher/day care provider for years & years...can verify that teachers do not need or want all the teacher-themed gifts.

The hand-made thank you cards from the kids are a great gift...and very personal. If you still want to give a gift, give a gift card to a teacher supply store (Or a place like Hobby-Lobby) that the teacher can use for items in the classroom that she'd normally pay out-of-pocket.

One of my absolute favorite gift cards was the restaurant kind...one mom told me she was giving me the gift of "dinner"...she knew I'd probably spend a Target gift card on toys for the day care kids but she knew an Applebee's gift card would be a treat for me instead.

 

[irky416]

For people who are saying teachers don't appreciate gifts given to them if they don't use them, what about a gift you've received but don't like?

For example, what if your aunt or grandma gets you a sweater you think is ugly. You take it back to the store and exchange it for something you do like or it sits in your closet and you never wear it and it just collects dust until you either throw it away or give it to Goodwill. How is this any different than a teacher doing the same thing with a gift they can't use or don't like. You still appreciate the thought and are thankful your grandma thought of you and got you something, but does wanting to exchange it mean you're ungrateful? Or do you just keep something and wear it even though you think it's ugly/doesn't fit you right etc. or you already have one that is the exact same thing?

I'm not seeing how it's any different for teachers.

 

[mafibisha]

3 sisters, all teachers, and I was a preschool teacher/day care provider for years & years...can verify that teachers do not need or want all the teacher-themed gifts.

The hand-made thank you cards from the kids are a great gift...and very personal. If you still want to give a gift, give a gift card to a teacher supply store (Or a place like Hobby-Lobby) that the teacher can use for items in the classroom that she'd normally pay out-of-pocket.

One of my absolute favorite gift cards was the restaurant kind...one mom told me she was giving me the gift of "dinner"...she knew I'd probably spend a Target gift card on toys for the day care kids but she knew an Applebee's gift card would be a treat for me instead.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

BEST POST ABOUT TEACHERS ..... EVER.

Thank you so much for posting!

 

[bmoncher]

I did not think I would chime in on this thread..
but since Sept I have donated over 250 in arts and crafts supplies to my son's class...
For the holidays I plan to give home made book marks, and cards made by the children under my guidance (can you tell I am a crafter)... but I also will include a GC for Barnes and Noble or Borders... this gives the teacher the option of getting something for the class or herself... since both stores have books, CDs and movies as well as games and in our area coffee lounges in them...

In the past I have given tote bags (which I see all being used by the teachers they were given to), photo frames that reflect the teachers interest (my kids are in daycare and it is easy to learn the teachers interests) I am also just sent lunch for the entire daycare staff... instead of individual gifts - Done with the permission and selection by the owner of the school to avoid allergen issues in the building and dietary needs of the staff (sone Kosher staff and some Hallel staff... so I was careful what to order and where to order from so ALL could enjoy!)

Lots of options if you look for them!