The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[mom2faith]

I would understand if someone had allergies, however when I was at my daughter's classroom and in the nurse's office, I noticed scented lotion on the main teacher's desk and the other teacher was rubbing lotion on her hands while we where out at the playground. We where also discussing with another parent about Yankee having a buy one get one half off and what scents are available (it was only certain ones). We also laughed about chocolate cravings while at the School open house, so I registered those clues for future reference. The Barnes and Nobles...I stereotyped and figured teachers liked to read...I also was of the thought that I wanted them to have a nice relaxing evening....I figured a relaxing bath, some good chocolate and a scented candle curled up with a good book might accomplish that. It was a thought and a good one for people I am very thankful for, and I think it should be the thought that counts (unless you are a husband ).

I was really excited and thought I had done well and after several of these posts, I just feel sad...I wanted to get them something to show appreciation, and now I am feeling that my efforts and thoughts won't convey this.

And I have to say, I love home made goodies! That is less I have to bake and I get to put it out for others to enjoy at holiday get togethers.

I think you did good then!! Do not worry, your children's gifts will be appreciated.

As for the homemade goodies, I am on the fence - again there is the allergy issue (nuts, etc) but MMMMMM homemade goodies make my mouth water like Homer Simpson!!

 

[NotUrsula]

For daycare providers we always give grocery store cards. Those tend to be pretty low-paid postions, and they tend to prefer the truly practical use that a grocery (or gasoline) card has.

 

[SereneOne]

From these threads, I have learned that gc's seem to be the most appreciated gift, besides a note from the student or parent. Therefore, based on this knowlege, I figure this is the best gift to give, the most likely to be used. Don't you buy gifts that you think will have a good chance of being used? Even though I've given candles and homemade treats in the past, I've had kids in school long enough to realize that these don't make the best gifts, and if I'm spending money, I will choose a gift that I think will be the most appreciated, not a gift that I'd like to receive myself.

I think you are just trying to justify no longer getting your child's teachers gift!

I spent $250 dollars on the two teachers, sn coordinator and school nurse, and I do not need to justify not spending money on someone, if I do not want to spend money on someone, I won't do it. Just because you think like that does not mean others do and it speaks volumes about your character. Leave it to the Dis to turn a conversation into personal attacks, it never changes does it?

There are several people who do not like gift cards. My parents do not like them they think they lack thought and are lazy gifts. I know other people like this too. So if we do not give anything based on what someone might not like, then we end up giving nothing.

If people so hated bath items and candles, there would be no business for these items, they are in fact very popular and that says something about the appropriateness as gifts. I also never said that gift giving was only about the gifter, not the giftee. It is about both and it is perfectly normal to want a person to be pleased with something you bought for them.

 

[hhartill]

I agree, whatever you give to someone else should be taken with appreciation. I am almost 36 and my mom seems to think I like snowmen sooo much that's all she gets me for me! Seriously, a girl only needs so many snowmen! I know that last year I gave my son's preschool teachers Vera Bradley lunch bags, this year I saw them in the fridge at pre school, I know they used them.

I can't even tell my own mother "don't buy me..." for fear of disrespecting her.

I think you have the right spirit of giving SereneOne, you listen to others and try to give a thoughtfull gift. If it is taken in the spirit it is given, you've done your job. Don't worry about all this chatter.

Some people do not like gift cards, just because you like them does not mean others do and others maybe offended. So the answer is no gifts...kind of like the story of the mom who was going to make her famous soup and by the time everyone in the family got done asking her to leave out this item or leave out that item, all that was left was hot water for the soup. So by nitpicking the thoughtfulness of people wanting to give to you in some way, well you get nothing from me. Heck, I could have saved about $250 and spent it on myself, which I will do next year and I will have a nice basket of lovely bath products, Yankee candles, yummy Godiva and some great books to read.

Just when I think I have read it all...

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Please see my above post about my mom....she would appreciate this.

That being said, my dad does have severe allergies and mom would have to give most scented things to either me or my SIL (my sister also has allergies and could not accept them). But, know she would never, ever make your child feel bad. She would remember exactly who gave her the items either way. She would give them to us knowing we could fully appreciate them.

You are doing a wonderful thing for the people who care and support your children!! Never feel horrible about it!!

For someone to say "don't" give this or that, they do not know my mom, and I hope she is not the exception but the rule

Amy

You mom sounds like a very special lady.


And to a PP -for the life of me, I can't think of one teacher I know who would be offended by a gift card. They use so much of their own money to buy supplies, they can use the GC to take up some of that slack.

 

[MKCP5]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

No! A ten dollar gift is very nice!!!!

 

[Plantlady]

In the school I work in, and the school my mom worked in, food was not taboo. It is/was allowed, and appreciated.

So, for those wanting to make that homemade treat, perhaps check with the school, and see if it's allowed.

 

[SereneOne]

I think you did good then!! Do not worry, your children's gifts will be appreciated.

As for the homemade goodies, I am on the fence - again there is the allergy issue (nuts, etc) but MMMMMM homemade goodies make my mouth water like Homer Simpson!!

I can understand the allergies,

I think you have to know a person on some level to give that...to know about allergies, etc. A neighbor of mine gives out to each of her close neighbors a basket of homemade goodies--magic cookie bars, mini cheescakes, etc...my mouth is drooling thinking about it!

 

[4shinystars]

Living in a school district where most families are better off than we are, I knew early on that we could not afford the kind of gifts that others gave.
We have always let each child pick a charity, give a donation, and then make a certificate that stated " In the true spirit of the season, a donation has been made in your name to ...(whatever charity). Happy Holidays." Usually we had someone from the charity sign it if it was local. The donation amount was not disclosed. Some years it was only $5, but each girl donated. We have had teachers actually cry. The best year was when we donated to The Heifer Project, and picked different animals to "give" in the teachers name. "Mrs. LaSarso's llama" was a huge hit.

 

[SereneOne]

No! A ten dollar gift is very nice!!!!

I do not think that is cheap at all, I think just the fact that you thought enough of the person to give them a gift makes it incredible.

One year when I was working with children, one of them gave me those two dollar little squares of bath salts with her own allowance. This child was a foster child...it is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten...she was so excited to have gotten me a gift....the look on her face....I will never forget.

 

[mjkacmom]

I spent $250 dollars on the two teachers, sn coordinator and school nurse, and I do not need to justify not spending money on someone, if I do not want to spend money on someone, I won't do it. Just because you think like that does not mean others do and it speaks volumes about your character. Leave it to the Dis to turn a conversation into personal attacks, it never changes does it?

There are several people who do not like gift cards. My parents do not like them they think they lack thought and are lazy gifts. I know other people like this too. So if we do not give anything based on what someone might not like, then we end up giving nothing.

If people so hated bath items and candles, there would be no business for these items, they are in fact very popular and that says something about the appropriateness as gifts. I also never said that gift giving was only about the gifter, not the giftee. It is about both and it is perfectly normal to want a person to be pleased with something you bought for them.

I have yet, in all of these threads, ever heard a teacher claim not to like gc's. However, many have claimed not to like mugs, candles, and ornaments. The only angry tone in this thread are your in your posts, stating that because teachers here have admitted to not liking body lotion, you were no longer going to buy gifts for teachers - ridiculous. Everyone else either agreed, or were thankful for the heads up.

This has nothing to do with your parents dislike of gc's - I am basing my gift idea of what 99.9% of teachers here (and those I know IRL) would appreciate. If most teachers posted that they didn't like receiving gc's, I'd ask what they would appreciate.

 

[SereneOne]

Living in a school district where most families are better off than we are, I knew early on that we could not afford the kind of gifts that others gave.
We have always let each child pick a charity, give a donation, and then make a certificate that stated " In the true spirit of the season, a donation has been made in your name to ...(whatever charity). Happy Holidays." Usually we had someone from the charity sign it if it was local. The donation amount was not disclosed. Some years it was only $5, but each girl donated. We have had teachers actually cry. The best year was when we donated to The Heifer Project, and picked different animals to "give" in the teachers name. "Mrs. LaSarso's llama" was a huge hit.

I LOVE THIS IDEA! Meghan's teacher would have loved this...she has taught in Africa! I could do this for her at Valentines!

 

[irky416]

Notes and drawings from students are great - I have every one my students made me saved in a folder - but something you could add to any gift for free is to email or write a note to the principal and let them know how pleased you are with the teacher. I can guarantee you any teacher will appreciate this!

 

[tinkercat]

I'm going to be honest and hope I don't get any flames...

I'm a teacher, and I personally find it a bit condescending to think that we should be able to pick and choose what people give as gifts (from the goodness of their hearts, might I add).

Maybe it is where I teach (low income school), but I have received very few gifts from students, and I certainly don't expect anything. Those that I have received, I cherish. If its something I can't or won't eat, I share with co-workers who can or will. If its a trinket that I wouldn't normally use (like a mug, for example), I display it on my desk as a pencil holder...there are ways to find uses for things if you try. I'd love a nice candle, gift card, or a note of thanks.

I try to choose gifts for my children's teachers that I think they will appreciate, and it offends me to think that my gifts may have been ones shoved into closets to put out at the yard sale.

I'm apparantly one of the odd ones out of this subject, but I had to reply. If nothing else, at least people who read this thread will know that not all teachers are so picky about what they receive.

 

[zachsmomie]

Another teacher weighing in...

I, too, have a teacher tree in my house that has nothing but ornaments kids have brought/made for me over the years. I love thinking about each kid as I put it up on the tree. So this varies from teacher to teacher.

I do have to agree that the homemade food items are usually not the best thing to give and most teachers I know will not eat them (due to allergies, weight issues or other). Don't even get me started on the mugs. I wait for a whole box of them to accumulate in the garage and then donate them to our church bazaar. Whoever came up with giving the teacher a mug for Christmas should be sent to detention! And please, don't give us pictures of your child. We see them every day and they aren't our children so we aren't going to display them like you would.

Gift Cards are great even for $5. Gifts for the classroom are great.

But the best gift of all is a note from a mom or dad or student. That means so much.

Last year a group of parents pitched in and bought me a Dooney and Bourke purse. I was flabbergasted. It was, by far, the most extravagant gift I have ever received during my teaching careeer. But long after that purse is gone, those notes will still be there and still pick me up after a hard day.

Kindness doesn't cost anything and is priceless. Just be kind and support your kid's teacher.

 

[buffalogirl]

I am a para in kindergarten, and this thread got me thinking. I seriously cannot remember much of what kids got me last year ($5.00) subway gift card that two students went in on together was great ( and a good idea parents had to split the card).
The one I do remember however is a handmade bracelet a little girl made me. Makes me happy everytime I think about it. She had a troubled life and was being adopted and to think that she made that with me in mind makes me glad for the job I have!

How sweet, this post made me cry . Her efforts obviously weren't wasted, how wonderful for both of you .

 

[jackdis]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

NOT CHEAP AT ALL!!!! I honestly would prefer that, even a $5.00 one, because I will most definitely USE IT!!!

 

[jackdis]

Kindness doesn't cost anything and is priceless. Just be kind and support your kid's teacher.

WELL SAID!!!! BRAVO!!!!!!!

 

[mjkacmom]

You are ridiculous, honey, not me! I have six children and four of them are now in college and I have been room mother and substitute teached for many years and I heard very few teachers complain...and by the way, MY MOM WAS A TEACHER! I do not have an angry tone, YOU DO, I had a SAD TONE...do not project your emotions on to me. I will continue to give gifts, I gave gifts for 18 years, but if there is going to be constant complaining of what people give you, then yes, I will end up giving nothing.

And no not tell me that I am not allowed to have an opinion because it is different from others....and there where a couple others that were in disagreement to your post.

I feel sorry for anyone that has to deal with you on a daily basis. First you want to dictate what people can and cant buy and then you want to tell others what they feel and what they can say...power trip much?

Hmm - someone needs a new user name

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

I would understand if someone had allergies, however when I was at my daughter's classroom and in the nurse's office, I noticed scented lotion on the main teacher's desk and the other teacher was rubbing lotion on her hands while we where out at the playground. We where also discussing with another parent about Yankee having a buy one get one half off and what scents are available (it was only certain ones). We also laughed about chocolate cravings while at the School open house, so I registered those clues for future reference. The Barnes and Nobles...I stereotyped and figured teachers liked to read...I also was of the thought that I wanted them to have a nice relaxing evening....I figured a relaxing bath, some good chocolate and a scented candle curled up with a good book might accomplish that. It was a thought and a good one for people I am very thankful for, and I think it should be the thought that counts (unless you are a husband ).

I was really excited and thought I had done well and after several of these posts, I just feel sad...I wanted to get them something to show appreciation, and now I am feeling that my efforts and thoughts won't convey this.

And I have to say, I love home made goodies! That is less I have to bake and I get to put it out for others to enjoy at holiday get togethers.

You took the time to "take note" of things you noticed about your teachers, so your gift was thoughfull and will most likely be appreciated by these teachers. When gifts are givin.with thought to who they are going too it's great. I think the most important thing here is this....if you have taken time to know something about the person recieving the gift then you can pick a more personal item(food, scented lotion/candles etc). If you really know very little about the teacher and need to be more generic, gift cards are great, even $5.00 to a coffee shop is good. I have been a preschool teacher(at a very affulant church based program) for 10 years now and have gotten both the thoughful and less then thoughtfull gifts, the least thoughtful, a pair of peirced earings(I almost always have my hair up and don't have peirced ears). The most heart warming and thoughtfull gifts are notes of appreciation and love from my parents.