The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[mjkacmom]

I just have to ask about the candle thing.. why?
We just bought some Yankee candles with their B2G2 sale on the big jars. I thought those would make lovely gifts for ds's teachers.
If the teacher doesn't like the scent, those are easy to re-gift. But I thought everyone loved YC!

Nope, not everyone likes candles, and even the ones that do, how many candles can you burn? You have to store them, too. My gf jokes that she has a dedicated closet filled with mugs and candles, that she brings out at her yearly garage sale (and NOBODY buys mugs).

 

[BridetobeDisney]

I have to respond with another side....

My mom is a teacher and has been for years. Although I agree with your first point on the food, every other point does not affect my mom.

My mom has a 7 1/2 tree at the cabin dedicated to her ornaments from her "kids" . After 30 years of teaching, she can also tell you which kid gave her which ornament - for every one!!!

She also has all of the knick-knacks and coffee mugs and uses them as storage in her sewing/craft room. She cherishes all of these gifts. And, like I said above, can still tell you who gave her each and every one!!

Some teachers really do appreciate all of the stuff the their "kids" do for them.

amy

I was thinking the same thing. Some people appreciate everything that is given to them and find a way to use them. I have only been in the school system for 3 years but I love the things that are given to me. My MIL has been a prek teacher/director for 20+ years and her whole house has teacher stuff, mugs, monogrammed gifts etc. and she loves them and appreciates it all. Gift cards are wonderful too though.

I just have to ask about the candle thing.. why?
We just bought some Yankee candles with their B2G2 sale on the big jars. I thought those would make lovely gifts for ds's teachers.
If the teacher doesn't like the scent, those are easy to re-gift. But I thought everyone loved YC!

I love these candles and I think they are a great idea for teachers, especially the christmas scents like apple cinnamon. I'm sure your ds's teachers will appreciate them. I know that I did when I have received them in the past from students.

 

[SereneOne]

You know what? Next year I think I will take teachers off my list since so many of you want to dictate what someone buys you.

I bought my daughter's two teachers, special needs counselor and school nurse, baskets from B&BW with full size items...if it was so damn stinky I do not think they would be doing so well for so many years and have so many stores! I purchased Yankee candle votives in a three pack with a Christmas ornament on top and a votive holder, again, many people including myself love candles and Yankee does very good business. I bought each of them the 10-piece red and gold Godiva packages and I included a ten dollar gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles. I figured they could take a relaxing bath, light the candle, eat good chocolate and read a good paperback. I really appreciate them and all their dedication and hard work and I thought it was a thoughtful gift, not that it would be looked at as junk to be thrown away or given away.

I was excited about giving them their gift baskets, including cards of thanks and now I just feel horrible that they will hate what I purchased for them. It is the thought that counts, and for someone to have thought of you and spent their hard earned money and/or time on another person should be appreciated, not scoffed at!

 

[surfergirl602]

Thanks for this post. It's really helped out. We will be leaving the military post my children have grown up on, started school in, right before Christmas break... 19 december. They are sooo upset. So we will be doing thank you letters to their classroom teachers, plus a gift card to the school supply store or to Target, etc. My oldest daughter (2 grade) will also be making a card for her reading instructor that she gets extra help from. he's really made a difference in her confidence. Just to show him how thankful we are. They're classroom "goodbye" will be very tough, so we'll make it a big project this year.

 

[disneyorvegas]

This is done in each and every class at our school ($5), plus most families give a separate gift (I've known families who give $50 gc's). I usually get a $20 gc.

You guys are lucky - I'm a class mom too and this year we are not allowed to collect for a class gift for the "holidays." Or is it end of calendar year? Heaven forbid we say anything remotely close to Christmas! So instead of the teacher getting a $100 gift card, she's going to get a whole bunch of $5 chatchke. Ugh! (sorry for the vent!)

 

[mjkacmom]

You know what? Next year I think I will take teachers off my list since so many of you want to dictate what someone buys you.

I bought my daughter's two teachers, special needs counselor and school nurse, baskets from B&BW with full size items...if it was so damn stinky I do not think they would be doing so well for so many years and have so many stores! I purchased Yankee candle votives in a three pack with a Christmas ornament on top and a votive holder, again, many people including myself love candles and Yankee does very good business. I bought each of them the 10-piece red and gold Godiva packages and I included a ten dollar gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles. I figured they could take a relaxing bath, light the candle, eat good chocolate and read a good paperback. I really appreciate them and all their dedication and hard work and I thought it was a thoughtful gift, not that it would be looked at as junk to be thrown away or given away.

I was excited about giving them their gift baskets, including cards of thanks and now I just feel horrible that they will hate what I purchased for them. It is the thought that counts, and for someone to have thought of you and spent their hard earned money and/or time on another person should be appreciated, not scoffed at!

I think the OP's purpose was to let people know what not to spend their hard earned money on ahead of time, pointing out things that people might not have thought of - like many people do not like scented candles or body lotion. I'm not teaching, but I know I would feel very guilty tossing the mugs, and trying to regift candles, and there is only so much body lotion you can use! I've given candles before - before I realized HOW MANY teachers get! Now I gladly buy gc's.

I like to buy things that will be enjoyed - just because you like scented candles doesn't mean EVERYONE likes them - some find them offensive. Teachers don't "scoff" these gifts - it really makes them feel horrible to toss them or give them away.

On these threads, it seems that most teachers would rather receive a letter of thanks than anything else.

 

[xanman]

When you suggest that the teacher mugs, ornaments and other knick knacks be donated to charities that can then sell them to make money, that is only IF they can sell them. The local Salvation Army store here has a 40' dumpster sitting behind it where they toss all the unsaleable items. Many "donations" go directly to the trash as they are being sorted as they are truly garbage and never should have been given in the first place. Others things end up there because no one will buy them, and alot of these are the types of things we have been discussing. It is truly appalling how much money they have to spend to have this stuff hauled away to a landfill that could be put to a better use. Although one man's trash may be another man's treasure, usually junk is just junk and nobody wants it.

 

[livndisney]

I have to respond with another side....

My mom is a teacher and has been for years. Although I agree with your first point on the food, every other point does not affect my mom.

My mom has a 7 1/2 tree at the cabin dedicated to her ornaments from her "kids" . After 30 years of teaching, she can also tell you which kid gave her which ornament - for every one!!!

She also has all of the knick-knacks and coffee mugs and uses them as storage in her sewing/craft room. She cherishes all of these gifts. And, like I said above, can still tell you who gave her each and every one!!

Some teachers really do appreciate all of the stuff the their "kids" do for them.

amy

I just have to ask about the candle thing.. why?
We just bought some Yankee candles with their B2G2 sale on the big jars. I thought those would make lovely gifts for ds's teachers.
If the teacher doesn't like the scent, those are easy to re-gift. But I thought everyone loved YC!

I have taught for a number of years and I have to say I have enjoyed each and every gift from "my" kids. I have gotten handmade cookies (burnt on the bottom ). I have a scrapbook of "art" from "my" kids that is treasured. The thought and effort these children put into the gift is what makes it special to me.

As far as candles, not everyone loves Yankee Candles or any Scented candle. I have worked with Teachers and staff, where scented candles trigger MAJOR breathing problems that would keep them out of the classroom. It is not even a case of being able to "regift" them as even closed they can cause issues. We even had a student who needed to be in a "scent free" environment.

 

[Minnie_me]

Also check your schools policy. As of this year, our teacher's gift can not be worth more than $5 IF it goes to the teacher. We can give a classroom gift or a school gift or a donation in the teacher's name of more.

More than $5?!? That's ridiculous. Our school policy is that a teacher cannot accept a gift over $50.

 

[mom2faith]

You know what? Next year I think I will take teachers off my list since so many of you want to dictate what someone buys you.

I bought my daughter's two teachers, special needs counselor and school nurse, baskets from B&BW with full size items...if it was so damn stinky I do not think they would be doing so well for so many years and have so many stores! I purchased Yankee candle votives in a three pack with a Christmas ornament on top and a votive holder, again, many people including myself love candles and Yankee does very good business. I bought each of them the 10-piece red and gold Godiva packages and I included a ten dollar gift certificate to Barnes and Nobles. I figured they could take a relaxing bath, light the candle, eat good chocolate and read a good paperback. I really appreciate them and all their dedication and hard work and I thought it was a thoughtful gift, not that it would be looked at as junk to be thrown away or given away.

I was excited about giving them their gift baskets, including cards of thanks and now I just feel horrible that they will hate what I purchased for them. It is the thought that counts, and for someone to have thought of you and spent their hard earned money and/or time on another person should be appreciated, not scoffed at!

Please see my above post about my mom....she would appreciate this.

That being said, my dad does have severe allergies and mom would have to give most scented things to either me or my SIL (my sister also has allergies and could not accept them). But, know she would never, ever make your child feel bad. She would remember exactly who gave her the items either way. She would give them to us knowing we could fully appreciate them.

You are doing a wonderful thing for the people who care and support your children!! Never feel horrible about it!!

For someone to say "don't" give this or that, they do not know my mom, and I hope she is not the exception but the rule

Amy

 

[SereneOne]

I think the OP's purpose was to let people know what not to spend their hard earned money on ahead of time, pointing out things that people might not have thought of - like many people do not like scented candles or body lotion. I'm not teaching, but I know I would feel very guilty tossing the mugs, and trying to regift candles, and there is only so much body lotion you can use! I've given candles before - before I realized HOW MANY teachers get! Now I gladly buy gc's.

I like to buy things that will be enjoyed - just because you like scented candles doesn't mean EVERYONE likes them - some find them offensive. Teachers don't "scoff" these gifts - it really makes them feel horrible to toss them or give them away.

On these threads, it seems that most teachers would rather receive a letter of thanks than anything else.

Some people do not like gift cards, just because you like them does not mean others do and others maybe offended. So the answer is no gifts...kind of like the story of the mom who was going to make her famous soup and by the time everyone in the family got done asking her to leave out this item or leave out that item, all that was left was hot water for the soup. So by nitpicking the thoughtfulness of people wanting to give to you in some way, well you get nothing from me. Heck, I could have saved about $250 and spent it on myself, which I will do next year and I will have a nice basket of lovely bath products, Yankee candles, yummy Godiva and some great books to read.

Just when I think I have read it all...

 

[patsal]

As a teacher, my most treasured gifts have been notes. I teach high risk high school students and those notes from the kids are the best thing ever. They are really thoughtful and can be a real boost when you are starting to feel like what you do means nothing to anyone. I appreciate any and all things because someone was kind enough to be so thoughtful, but I am big on what I do having an impact on others so something that had to do with donating to the less fortunate would be super, but really just a note is my all time favorite.

 

[NotUrsula]

Not a teacher, but I've got to chime in on the candles. No, not everyone likes candles.

I've got a toddler and a cat in the house: candles equal danger. If they don't knock them over and start a fire, they eat the wax.

DH has allergies: scented candles equal sneezing and runny nose.
I've got migraines: scented candles equal headache triggers.

In re: the allergies and headaches, just having the things in the house are a problem, even if they are packed away. (No matter how pleasant the scent may be at first, continued low-grade exposure tends to bring on the symptoms, and that scent does get through packaging.)

I'm sure that the OP isn't trying to belittle the effort, just to save people money and effort that won't have the intended effect. After all, the point of giving a gift is NOT to make the giver feel good about her generosity, it is to make the recipient happy. Giving someone a gift that they are unlikely to use and that might make them miserable is a bit thoughtless, even if a lot of effort went into assembling it.

PS: We give GC's to our local teacher supply store, in a card made by the student.

 

[jlparedes]

Great thread. My DD is only in daycare/preschool but I do usually give a small bonus every year to her provider. Last year I gave her a $50 Costco giftcard. This year we have cut WAY back on gifts for our entire family so I was thinking of making a family gift for her. She has 3 kids of her own and one on the way. I was going to get a movie, some treats (popcorn, etc) and make a fmaily movie night basket for them. I know they stay home and do movie nights frequently so I thought they'd like that. What do you all think for preschool teachers/daycare providers? Thanks for all the great tips.

 

[SereneOne]

Please see my above post about my mom....she would appreciate this.

That being said, my dad does have severe allergies and mom would have to give most scented things to either me or my SIL (my sister also has allergies and could not accept them). But, know she would never, ever make your child feel bad. She would remember exactly who gave her the items either way. She would give them to us knowing we could fully appreciate them.

You are doing a wonderful thing for the people who care and support your children!! Never feel horrible about it!!

For someone to say "don't" give this or that, they do not know my mom, and I hope she is not the exception but the rule

Amy

I would understand if someone had allergies, however when I was at my daughter's classroom and in the nurse's office, I noticed scented lotion on the main teacher's desk and the other teacher was rubbing lotion on her hands while we where out at the playground. We where also discussing with another parent about Yankee having a buy one get one half off and what scents are available (it was only certain ones). We also laughed about chocolate cravings while at the School open house, so I registered those clues for future reference. The Barnes and Nobles...I stereotyped and figured teachers liked to read...I also was of the thought that I wanted them to have a nice relaxing evening....I figured a relaxing bath, some good chocolate and a scented candle curled up with a good book might accomplish that. It was a thought and a good one for people I am very thankful for, and I think it should be the thought that counts (unless you are a husband ).

I was really excited and thought I had done well and after several of these posts, I just feel sad...I wanted to get them something to show appreciation, and now I am feeling that my efforts and thoughts won't convey this.

And I have to say, I love home made goodies! That is less I have to bake and I get to put it out for others to enjoy at holiday get togethers.

 

[irishprincess]

I am a para in kindergarten, and this thread got me thinking. I seriously cannot remember much of what kids got me last year ($5.00) subway gift card that two students went in on together was great ( and a good idea parents had to split the card).
The one I do remember however is a handmade bracelet a little girl made me. Makes me happy everytime I think about it. She had a troubled life and was being adopted and to think that she made that with me in mind makes me glad for the job I have!

 

[mjkacmom]

Some people do not like gift cards, just because you like them does not mean others do and others maybe offended. So the answer is no gifts...kind of like the story of the mom who was going to make her famous soup and by the time everyone in the family got done asking her to leave out this item or leave out that item, all that was left was hot water for the soup. So by nitpicking the thoughtfulness of people wanting to give to you in some way, well you get nothing from me. Heck, I could have saved about $250 and spent it on myself, which I will do next year and I will have a nice basket of lovely bath products, Yankee candles, yummy Godiva and some great books to read.

Just when I think I have read it all...

From these threads, I have learned that gc's seem to be the most appreciated gift, besides a note from the student or parent. Therefore, based on this knowlege, I figure this is the best gift to give, the most likely to be used. Don't you buy gifts that you think will have a good chance of being used? Even though I've given candles and homemade treats in the past, I've had kids in school long enough to realize that these don't make the best gifts, and if I'm spending money, I will choose a gift that I think will be the most appreciated, not a gift that I'd like to receive myself.

I think you are just trying to justify no longer getting your child's teachers gift!

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

I will be giving gift cards again this year, probably Target. This is so funny, I have been cleaning out old crap from my attic, and right now I am in the middle of the Christmas stuff. I came across 4 (yes they were cheap) coffee mugs that I was going to use one year for Teacher gifts-stuff them with envelopes of teas, hot chocolate, coffees, but I read on the Dis (this was YEARS ago) that teachers don't need ANOTHER coffee mug...so I stuck them away in my junk...I found them this year and for now I will use them instead of inflicting them on our beloved teachers..You learn so much from the Dis...

Now what am I going to do with all the nice candles that I bought THIS year to put in with their gift card? I have just been put on notice that CANDLES are out too...

I am not being snotty towards those of you trying to help us, I actually think that my lack of judgement is kinda funny...

OP and teachers I appreciate the heads up on these things. I would also be upset to have to toss all the presents that people took the time and money to buy or make for me, but I would do it too..especially home baked items.. I don't even like to shop bake sales..


One more thing to add to the personal notes from the kids is that I have heard the teachers also appreciate a note from the parent thanking the teacher for helping their child to grow.

 

[cheermom1]

Not a teacher, but I've got to chime in on the candles. No, not everyone likes candles.

I've got a toddler and a cat in the house: candles equal danger. If they don't knock them over and start a fire, they eat the wax.

DH has allergies: scented candles equal sneezing and runny nose.
I've got migraines: scented candles equal headache triggers.

In re: the allergies and headaches, just having the things in the house are a problem, even if they are packed away. (No matter how pleasant the scent may be at first, continued low-grade exposure tends to bring on the symptoms, and that scent does get through packaging.)

I'm sure that the OP isn't trying to belittle the effort, just to save people money and effort that won't have the intended effect. After all, the point of giving a gift is NOT to make the giver feel good about her generosity, it is to make the recipient happy. Giving someone a gift that they are unlikely to use and that might make them miserable is a bit thoughtless, even if a lot of effort went into assembling it.

PS: We give GC's to our local teacher supply store, in a card made by the student.

I was about to say the same thing - for some reason candles trigger my headaches as well - while they smell great and I love them I can't so that would be a reason itself for me not to give a candle ...

 

[SereneOne]

Great thread. My DD is only in daycare/preschool but I do usually give a small bonus every year to her provider. Last year I gave her a $50 Costco giftcard. This year we have cut WAY back on gifts for our entire family so I was thinking of making a family gift for her. She has 3 kids of her own and one on the way. I was going to get a movie, some treats (popcorn, etc) and make a fmaily movie night basket for them. I know they stay home and do movie nights frequently so I thought they'd like that. What do you all think for preschool teachers/daycare providers? Thanks for all the great tips.

We do this for Valentine's Day for the teachers, it is a great idea!