The Truth about Teacher Gifts, Things NOT to Do

[SereneOne]

Last year I spent many hours embroidering/monograming a set of handtowels for each teacher. For the main teacher, I included a gift card. Since I could afford these presents I was able to be more generous and give gifts to more teachers/assistants etc. I think I did 18 sets of towels. I tried to pick silver or gold ribbon depending on their personalities. Now I feel like I wasted my time and should not even bother with an embroidered gift this year. I can afford to give gift cards to the main teacher but not everyone else. I've included a picture. I also gave an embroidered travel mug to a few people with a Dunkins gift card inside.

I'm saddened that it's not the thought that counts anymore!

Those are beautiful! What a thoughtful and unique gift. I think gifts like that are the best...the time and care you took in making them.

One of the best wedding gifts I received was from my aunt. She had bought me a nice sheet set and had embroidered and elegant design surrounding our initial. It was one of the most precious gifts to me. My mother likes to make quilts and sews quite a bit, so I know the time and skill it takes to make such a gift.

 

[SereneOne]

Very disturbing, but the grammar around here isn't always what it should be and I try not judge too much. I read this kind of stuff daily in remedial writing so I know what was meant and move on.

I find it disturbing that people want to judge grammar on an internet board! Writing on here is like a casual conversation, it is not English class, for goodness sake. Do you go around correcting people in everyday conversation? And I find it interesting that neither of you have never made an error in grammar or composition. I noticed misspelled words and some overused commas here or there, so what? The things people harp on in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I belong to several boards and I have never seen the nastiness displayed elsewhere that I do here.

 

[SereneOne]

I think a way this could be resolved is if the school allowed a small questionnaire to each teacher of things they wanted or needed for themselves or their classroom and that way people would be able to give each individual teacher something they really wanted if so inclined.

I now remember (other than my 5yo, my other children are older, the next youngest being 18) that as room mom for several teachers, I was able to have a good idea of what the teachers needed wanted. I know one year the teacher was saving to get a rocking chair for her reading corner and the parents chipped in and we purchased it for her. Several gave personal gifts in addition.


I really hope my daughter's teachers liked what we bought for them. She and I had fun getting the items and she is excited about wrapping the baskets and helping me make the curly ribbons in each one's favorite colors. She keeps asking me when she gets to give them to her teachers.

I realize in most cases on this thread that people are trying to be helpful in their suggestions (including the OP), it just gets disheartening when every thought you have is shot down in one form or another. That is the problem when one is dealing with individuals, we are all unique.

I would hope that the teachers, assistants, nurses, etc whether they liked the gift or not, would be warmed by the thought of how much they are appreciated and even loved. So many teachers make the world a better place. How many times have you heard someone say that a teacher inspired them or even saved them? I know the "tokens" we give you could not even compare to the incredible gifts you give our children every day, but please know, that many of us are thankful for your sacrifices and your dedication and that is the thought behind the gifts as humble as they may be.

Thank you. Thank you so very much for all you do.

 

[S. C.]

I think a way this could be resolved is if the school allowed a small questionnaire to each teacher of things they wanted or needed for themselves or their classroom and that way people would be able to give each individual teacher something they really wanted if so inclined.

I now remember (other than my 5yo, my other children are older, the next youngest being 18) that as room mom for several teachers, I was able to have a good idea of what the teachers needed wanted. I know one year the teacher was saving to get a rocking chair for her reading corner and the parents chipped in and we purchased it for her. Several gave personal gifts in addition.


I really hope my daughter's teachers liked what we bought for them. She and I had fun getting the items and she is excited about wrapping the baskets and helping me make the curly ribbons in each one's favorite colors. She keeps asking me when she gets to give them to her teachers.

I realize in most cases on this thread that people are trying to be helpful in their suggestions (including the OP), it just gets disheartening when every thought you have is shot down in one form or another. That is the problem when one is dealing with individuals, we are all unique.

I would hope that the teachers, assistants, nurses, etc whether they liked the gift or not, would be warmed by the thought of how much they are appreciated and even loved. So many teachers make the world a better place. How many times have you heard someone say that a teacher inspired them or even saved them? I know the "tokens" we give you could not even compare to the incredible gifts you give our children every day, but please know, that many of us are thankful for your sacrifices and your dedication and that is the thought behind the gifts as humble as they may be.

Thank you. Thank you so very much for all you do.

Very well said!

 

[girli565]

I'm a teacher and don't expect gifts at all. Our district has a monetary limit on gifts so if it is over $15 we can't accept it. I also wouldn't want homemade gifts like food because I have issues with not knowing how things were prepared.

I would however take classroom supplies because we are in dire need of them at my school and it benefits everyone in my classroom, not just me.

 

[mjkacmom]

I am so with everything you just wrote!! I think any gift should be appreciated!! What kind of society do we live in when it is expected of our children to give certain gifts to their teachers, and expected not to give other gifts? Have we all become so selfish to think we deserve certain gifts ( a gift is just that - a gift)? The thought that goes into choosing a gift is very personal, and whatever gift has ever come my way has always been appreciated, whatever it was. I don't understand why some people whine because they don't like a certain Christmas gift. By the way, candles can be stored in closets and drawers, they make lovely fresheners, and also in kitchen cabinets!! You can naver have too many!!

I personally know I do not have an extra inch in my drawers, closets, or cabinets (small, 100 year old house). I just want someone to show me a single post where a teacher has said a gift "wasn't good enough" or "not appreciated." I haven't seen any. I think each and every gift teachers get is greatly appreciated (please copy a post that says it isn't), but not always used - big difference.

 

[momx2]

Trust me, I didn't get into teaching thinking about all the things I'd get for Christmas and after reading this thread, I will never accept a gift again without thinking that it might being given begrudgingly or that the parent has decided ahead of time that I am ungrateful.

I know what you mean. Since reading this thread as a parent I'll never give a teacher another gift without thinking that they don't like it or that it might end up in the teachers lounge or worse yet, the trash.

I think the problem boils down to that "some things are better left unsaid."

 

[patsal]

I find it disturbing that people want to judge grammar on an internet board! Writing on here is like a casual conversation, it is not English class, for goodness sake. Do you go around correcting people in everyday conversation? And I find it interesting that neither of you have never made an error in grammar or composition. I noticed misspelled words and some overused commas here or there, so what? The things people harp on in order to make themselves feel better about themselves.

I belong to several boards and I have never seen the nastiness displayed elsewhere that I do here.

Actually, that was my point! I don't have time to correct everything everyone else writes and if I get the gist of what someone means why would I nit pick? When I am on the boards I misspell a lot because of typos, I am not going to go back and fix them all as I have better things to do with my time. If I don't comprehend what someone is asking or sharing I will ask for clarification but not in a rude way, but just so I can understand and maybe help.

 

[patsal]

Last year I spent many hours embroidering/monograming a set of handtowels for each teacher. For the main teacher, I included a gift card. Since I could afford these presents I was able to be more generous and give gifts to more teachers/assistants etc. I think I did 18 sets of towels. I tried to pick silver or gold ribbon depending on their personalities. Now I feel like I wasted my time and should not even bother with an embroidered gift this year. I can afford to give gift cards to the main teacher but not everyone else. I've included a picture. I also gave an embroidered travel mug to a few people with a Dunkins gift card inside.

I'm saddened that it's not the thought that counts anymore!

These are so beautiful and thoughtful!
As I said many posts back I personally appreciate any gift I have ever received. I just mentioned that those that mean the most to me are the letters from the students that are really heartfelt and confirm to me that what I am doing does make a difference to at least one person. I do not believe that anyone should spend too much money on gifts for teachers and that some of the points about mugs and stuff are true--though I have never thrown away anything I have been given. Many items spend a good amount of time in storage boxes as the old teacher mugs are rotated out for the newer ones. Photos of the students with me at various events are posted in the classroom since I want the students to know how much those mean to me. I have never suggested to anyone what might be a good gift for me, and I never will. I was always taught that you should be grateful someone thinks of you enough to want to do something for you. As far as ornaments, every year when I decorate my tree I put up every one that I have ever received, many of them have the studnet's names on them. A few, from what seem like a million years ago, always bring a tear to my eye--these students that I had the joy of impacting for one short year are now all adults some with children of their own. Many are from the first year I taught, and of course I have many more from subsequent years. When I decorate the tree I take the time to reflect on my career choice. I see each student very clearly in my memory and that is a profound feeling.
In short I would tell parents that if money is tight and they are concerned that the student have something to give a teacher than a nice note is a very powerful gift. If you have a homemade gift in mind,give it; if you have an ornament all picked out, give it. Whatever you have given in the spirit of your generousity will be appreciated.

 

[TAKitty]

I am a high school teacher and for those of you troubled by this discussion, just wait until your children reach middle school and especially high school.

In my ten years of teaching I think I have received a gift four or five times from the 1350 students I have had on average. So, not much longer and you won't have to debate mug or gift card or homemade snack .

 

[luvmy3]

Last year I spent many hours embroidering/monograming a set of handtowels for each teacher. For the main teacher, I included a gift card. Since I could afford these presents I was able to be more generous and give gifts to more teachers/assistants etc. I think I did 18 sets of towels. I tried to pick silver or gold ribbon depending on their personalities. Now I feel like I wasted my time and should not even bother with an embroidered gift this year. I can afford to give gift cards to the main teacher but not everyone else. I've included a picture. I also gave an embroidered travel mug to a few people with a Dunkins gift card inside.

I'm saddened that it's not the thought that counts anymore!

Those are beautiful and very thoughtful. If I could do that I would and I'd throw some BBW 5 for $10 anti-bac soap in the gift bag with them

 

[luvtogo12]

Those are beautiful and very thoughtful. If I could do that I would and I'd throw some BBW 5 for $10 anti-bac soap in the gift bag with them

Ohhhh no, you did not just say that?!

 

[surfergirl602]

Last year I spent many hours embroidering/monograming a set of handtowels for each teacher. For the main teacher, I included a gift card. Since I could afford these presents I was able to be more generous and give gifts to more teachers/assistants etc. I think I did 18 sets of towels. I tried to pick silver or gold ribbon depending on their personalities. Now I feel like I wasted my time and should not even bother with an embroidered gift this year. I can afford to give gift cards to the main teacher but not everyone else. I've included a picture. I also gave an embroidered travel mug to a few people with a Dunkins gift card inside.

I'm saddened that it's not the thought that counts anymore!

wow!! Those are beautiful!!!! I'm sure they were greatly appreciated. Those are so special!!!

 

[Inigo]

OK, I didn't read the whole thing but enough to get the gist...and my problem here is, with all these teachers, no one else was disturbed by the phrase, "I substitute teached"?

Oh, I was disturbed, but I thought she would have used any mention it as just one more reason to rant against teachers.

 

[luvtogo12]

wow!! Those are beautiful!!!! I'm sure they were greatly appreciated. Those are so special!!!

I agree, they are very special and I am sure they were very much appreciated.

Teachers, just like everyone else have thier likes and dislikes. I really do not think they should be generalized as unappreciative. Last year I bought fleece blankets with a gift card to Borders. I "assume" all teachers could use something from Borders and well, if they did not like the fleece blankets, I would hope they would donate it to a shelter or something. There are plenty of Goodwill boxes around and a lot of stores around here have boxes to drop off coats, blankets, etc.

Gift cards can be tricky as well. I really hate to shop at Walmart and would consider that a chore having to go there to use my gift card. Not that I would not appreciate it and not that I would not use it but it would be very painful for me. But as previously noted, many teachers would love it. Again, just a personal choice.

This year, I bought gift cards to DD only because DD is right next door to the school, within walking distance. DS is in the 7th grade and has quite a few teachers. I really do not know their likes and dislikes but if they don't like DD for whatever reason (perhaps they are vegans, on a diet, don't like coffee, etc) maybe they can use the card for a treat for the class if everyone scores a 80% on their next test or something like that.

In a nutshell, I don't know if our gift will be well received but it is just a token of our thanks. It is no different than me not knowing if my sister will enjoy her gift since I bought her something I would not normally buy her.

I say, if you have an idea of what the teacher likes, go for it.

 

[gillenkl]

x

 

[aprilgail2]

I am a single mom on a very tight budget. My little one gets special help from two different teachers and she has a student teacher. I don't know if its rude not to buy for all of them. I just simply can't buy for all of them so i am sticking to just their main teachers. I would like to acknowledge them in some way. I am sure that they understand people just can't afford to get too much. I know one is a Dunkin Donuts fanatic, but since we are on a budget do you think a $10.00 gift card is too cheap? I don't want my daughter's to be the only one in their class that doesn't give their teacher anything so we will give something, but it can't be much.

I think that is a fine gift- even a 5.00 gift card that would get them 2 cups of coffee would be better than a mug!

While I'm almost 100% sure my snack mix doesn't get thrown away (teachers ask for more, and they always want the recipe ) ... I think you've provided some good ideas.

We have a guy at work that makes cakes and brings them in and we all tell him that it is delicious but we never eat it-we cut off pieces when he is not looking and throw it in the garbage and cover it up- it really did look good and we all asked for the recipe so that we could make it ourselves at home and actually eat it....so you never can be sure they actually ate it!!

I usually scope out where my daughters teachers eat for lunch (usually run into them around town during their lunch hour when they all go out to get things for lunch) and get them a gift card to one of those places. When my brother was getting a new apartment he brought over a big box and left it at my house saying he had no place for all that stuff and it was full of teacher mugs and teacher ornaments (he is a single guy, never even puts up a christmas tree)- we ended up just throwing them all out-some never even touched but could not even give them away- who wants more teacher mugs?
Last year one of his students gave him a gift at the end of the year- a beta fish in a bowl. He had to be someplace right after school late that night so the poor fish sat in his hot car until he came home and stopped by here to drop it off- luckily it wasn't boiled to death LOL- my daughter sure appreciated that gift LOL but my brother is SO not a animal person that we still laugh about the gift. The fish is still sitting in a bowl in my daughters room and she loves it but I can just imagine that it would have been flushed down the toilet if he had not had her to give it to!

 

[Tricia1972]

I am happy to learn about the letters directly from the student. That'll be a nice project for my 6 year old DS to work on in December. He loves making art projects!

I take the point of this post to be, if you don't know the teacher very well and you're going to buy a trinket just because you feel need to give a gift, perhaps that money would be better spent on a gift certificate to the store instead of the trinket.

If you know the teacher, then go ahead and buy them a gift you know they'll appreciate.

I am using this posters name just because I've seen her around the boards a bit and I remember that she's a teacher. But if you asked me to go shopping for Pastal - I would have NO clue what she liked, needed or could possibly use. I'd be better off buying her a gift certificate for Target because I'd know she could find something to use for herself or for her class there.

Many of us don't know our kids teachers on a personal level. We see them after school for a few moments every day as we pick up our children, we see them at conferences, but we don't know them on a personal level. This is how I 'know' Pastal. I've seen her posts, I know that we have similar dining styles, but I don't know anything about her personal tastes.

I've been doing the Gift Certificate to a local teaching supply store route for the past few years, but appreciate the thread and some new ideas on 'what to get for teachers'


I also find the distinction interesting between preschool and grade school vs middle school and high school. Teachers don't get nearly as overwhelmed with mugs, etc the higher up you go in school.

 

[HappyDznyCamper]

I am happy to learn about the letters directly from the student. That'll be a nice project for my 6 year old DS to work on in December. He loves making art projects!

I take the point of this post to be, if you don't know the teacher very well and you're going to buy a trinket just because you feel need to give a gift, perhaps that money would be better spent on a gift certificate to the store instead of the trinket. If you know the teacher, then go ahead and buy them a gift you know they'll appreciate.

I am using this posters name just because I've seen her around the boards a bit and I remember that she's a teacher. But if you asked me to go shopping for Pastal - I would have NO clue what she liked, needed or could possibly use. I'd be better off buying her a gift certificate for Target because I'd know she could find something to use for herself or for her class there.

Many of us don't know our kids teachers on a personal level. We see them after school for a few moments every day as we pick up our children, we see them at conferences, but we don't know them on a personal level. This is how I 'know' Pastal. I've seen her posts, I know that we have similar dining styles, but I don't know anything about her personal tastes.

I've been doing the Gift Certificate to a local teaching supply store route for the past few years, but appreciate the thread and some new ideas on 'what to get for teachers'


I also find the distinction interesting between preschool and grade school vs middle school and high school. Teachers don't get nearly as overwhelmed with mugs, etc the higher up you go in school.

I think the bolded area sums it up well

 

[mafibisha]

We have a guy at work that makes cakes and brings them in and we all tell him that it is delicious but we never eat it-we cut off pieces when he is not looking and throw it in the garbage and cover it up- it really did look good and we all asked for the recipe so that we could make it ourselves at home and actually eat it....so you never can be sure they actually ate it!!

Ya know, I have so many thoughts left unsaid about this entire thread....

But I AM curious about this particular *guy* and cake. Just curious but are you a teacher? Is this the 'rule of thumb' with all baked goods the staff bring in, possibly even something you'd bring in... but maybe you don't know they're tossing it? Is this guy a colleaque, or perhaps the principal...? Do you know for a fact he bakes in squalor or is there another particular reason?

Just asking....