The things we do for our spawn...

[prestoncaldwell]

At elementary age, having that technology is not going to affect their life at all. When they are going into Junior/senior high, that is a good time to introduce them to the technology. It is amazing how fast they pick it up. My kids are 20 & 21 and did not have any of that stuff growing up but they picked it up faster then we did. The main issue now is that many schools now use computers so they already get an introduction to it.

It's all foundational. using the technology in late elementary gave her a leg up in middle school, which will give her a leg up in high school, etc, etc. Maybe she would have "picked it up faster than I did", but my goal is for her to focus on learning biology and algebra and trig rather than how to use Microsoft Word, save files, etc.

Our DD has had computing courses since second grade, and has taken electives in coding and robotics. any STEM exposure at an early age prepares us to excel at technical subjects later, imho.

 

[Lilsia]

It's all foundational. using the technology in late elementary gave her a leg up in middle school, which will give her a leg up in high school, etc, etc. Maybe she would have "picked it up faster than I did", but my goal is for her to focus on learning biology and algebra and trig rather than how to use Microsoft Word, save files, etc.

Our DD has had computing courses since second grade, and has taken electives in coding and robotics. any STEM exposure at an early age prepares us to excel at technical subjects later, imho.

That seems a bit young to be teaching computing. No wonder kids can't even make change anymore. SMH

 

[superme80]

My kids won't watch tv until they turn 2:
My kids will not have name brand toys, to encourage creativity: The $1000+ of Disney Pixar's Cars toys helped their creativity just fine.
My kids will not play video games: Every Nintendo console since the Wii. Everything gets played. It has encouraged my oldest to write numerous stories, movie shorts, and magazines for his brothers.

I used to say, "Go eat your organic homemade oatmeal bar and drink your organic smoothie." Now, "Eat your go gurt and drink your kool-aid!"

 

[LSUmiss]

So many things & DS is only 3 . Twin Nephews are 4 mos & my sister has already said she knows all her stances on things are out the window. Like a pp said about her child, my DS will not eat much (worse than most 3 yr olds due to a birth defect), I’ll make him whatever he will eat!

 

[LSUmiss]

It's all foundational. using the technology in late elementary gave her a leg up in middle school, which will give her a leg up in high school, etc, etc. Maybe she would have "picked it up faster than I did", but my goal is for her to focus on learning biology and algebra and trig rather than how to use Microsoft Word, save files, etc.

Our DD has had computing courses since second grade, and has taken electives in coding and robotics. any STEM exposure at an early age prepares us to excel at technical subjects later, imho.

Yes, DS’ pre-k class has individual iPads for certain academic work.

 

[LSUmiss]

That seems a bit young to be teaching computing. No wonder kids can't even make change anymore. SMH

Probably won’t need to make change sooner than later anyway.

 

[mylilnikita]

Some of you really like your kids, lol.

I have 1 dd who is 23. And right now I understand why other animals eat their young lol.

But I did limit how many activities she would do because I was a single parent and wasn’t about to put a lot on my plate.

And yes before I had her I had ideas of what it would be like and then most of it I tossed out the window lol.

 

[leebee]

My head hurts thinking of all this! I always advise people: Get your kids into dance or theater. DD was in the dance studio 4 hours a day, 5 days a week minimum, with rehearsals on the weekends. It was all right here in town (ok had the benefit of an OUTSTANDING teacher locally, trained by Balanchine and recruited by Joffrey when he opened his ballet, so normally didn't have to travel far for training), so I'd drive 15 mins each way to drop her off. DH would finish work, go to the gym, pick her up, and we'd have dinner at 8:30. Late, but together. She was always busy, I knew where she was and what she was doing, and performances were scheduled far in advance. The BEST part, though? ALL performances are indoors, at reasonable hours of the afternoon and evening. No freezing my butt off at the crack of dawn, lol! BONUS is that if it's boring you can take a short snooze but nobody knows because it's all done in the DARK. Win-win, in my book!

 

[Buzz Rules]

I don’t have kids yet (but want them in the future) and feel that all non parents should take notes from this thread for the future.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My head hurts thinking of all this! I always advise people: Get your kids into dance or theater. DD was in the dance studio 4 hours a day, 5 days a week minimum, with rehearsals on the weekends. It was all right here in town (ok had the benefit of an OUTSTANDING teacher locally, trained by Balanchine and recruited by Joffrey when he opened his ballet, so normally didn't have to travel far for training), so I'd drive 15 mins each way to drop her off. DH would finish work, go to the gym, pick her up, and we'd have dinner at 8:30. Late, but together. She was always busy, I knew where she was and what she was doing, and performances were scheduled far in advance. The BEST part, though? ALL performances are indoors, at reasonable hours of the afternoon and evening. No freezing my butt off at the crack of dawn, lol! BONUS is that if it's boring you can take a short snooze but nobody knows because it's all done in the DARK. Win-win, in my book!

Good advice! But if your theater kid is really into it, you suddenly find yourself shuttling him to rehearsals, dance classes, voice lessons and performances. You might even find yourself watching the same show three times in one day! You have to see your kid do his lead role. Then you have to see the other casts where your friends' kids have the leads and your kids does a bunch of supporting roles. If your kid is in demand, several theater companies will invite him to audition and he'll end up doing 4-5 shows a year. He might even be rehearsing two shows at a time. You'll be thrilled when he finally gets his driver's license and you will even buy a new car so he can have one exclusively for his use. Then he'll audition for college musical theater programs and get into a really good one...over 2500 miles away. He'll get cast in shows at least once each semester, so you'll have to save your pennies to fly out and see them. Because you can't stay home and miss seeing your kid in a show. Yep, our theater kid cost us tons of time and money. I wouldn't trade a second of it!

 

[Wayland10]

I’ve learned that any time I start a sentence with the words “I will never…”, with regards to my kids, all I’m doing is guaranteeing that I will absolutely be unable to avoid that particular thing.

 

[Lilsia]

My head hurts thinking of all this! I always advise people: Get your kids into dance or theater. DD was in the dance studio 4 hours a day, 5 days a week minimum, with rehearsals on the weekends. It was all right here in town (ok had the benefit of an OUTSTANDING teacher locally, trained by Balanchine and recruited by Joffrey when he opened his ballet, so normally didn't have to travel far for training), so I'd drive 15 mins each way to drop her off. DH would finish work, go to the gym, pick her up, and we'd have dinner at 8:30. Late, but together. She was always busy, I knew where she was and what she was doing, and performances were scheduled far in advance. The BEST part, though? ALL performances are indoors, at reasonable hours of the afternoon and evening. No freezing my butt off at the crack of dawn, lol! BONUS is that if it's boring you can take a short snooze but nobody knows because it's all done in the DARK. Win-win, in my book!

I will go one further and find something that your kids like. My girls would never do dance or sports, they are just a bit too uncoordinated. Which is funny because I was in gymnastics. But my youngest did do choir and my oldest was in band and the cooking club. In my area, almost all sports are run by private companies and are extremely expensive and you have to try out for them. No playing sports just for fun here, it is very competitive even at the school level.

 

[NotUrsula]

[snip]
But I did limit how many activities she would do because I was a single parent and wasn’t about to put a lot on my plate.
[snip]

Oh, DD only does one thing ... but she does it very well. As Luv Bunnies pointed out, when that happens you get mission creep, and before you know it the kid's sport or activity becomes the central point around which the entire family's calendar revolves.

 

[prestoncaldwell]

That seems a bit young to be teaching computing. No wonder kids can't even make change anymore. SMH

What a weird argument!

 

[Lilsia]

What a weird argument!

My point was that there is so much stuff that kids are no longer learning, that they should be to replace that time with computer stuff. There is no need for a third grader to learn computing when they don't even have time to teach the basic life skills. There is plenty of time for that when you get to junior high and HS. I work in food and the amount of young people today that can't make basic change in their heads is shocking. Not to mention that they can't read cursive, as if it is another language. There is a whole young generation that did not have computer classes in elementary school that are doing just fine on their computer skills. Pretty much anyone in their 20s and older. Are they all "behind" in technology? Of course they are not. I am not saying that teaching computing is bad, just that it needs to be at an appropriate age and they still need to teach basic life skills too.

 

[VandVsmama]

You remember back when you were a perfect parent, you know, before you had kids? Those things you said you wouldn't be doing when you were a mom/dad... Or that "my kids will never..." and now your kids are running around nevering like they've never nevered before? You know, the things that you hear a pregnant woman say that you have to stop your self from laughing out loud about. Like "there will be no plastic toys in my house!" What things do you do for your kids that you said you'd never do? Or that you said they'd never do that you decided either wasn't worth the fight or was stupid to thing wouldn't happen to begin with?

Mine are: I was not going to be running my kids all over the countryside for sports and stuff. Now my crotch goblins are in wrestling and we got up at the butt crack of dawn on Sunday to be at a tournament 3 hours away by 8 am.

My kids will eat what I make or be hungry. Let me just take a second to laugh at my former self for that one. Firstly, I don't even want to eat what I made sometimes. Secondly, I did not take into account that I'd have one child with adhd who eats like a bird and has food sensory issues. He's 10 and weighs 70 lbs soaking wet. At this point, I make what ever he will actually eat enough of to keep him from losing weight.

There are a ton more I'm sure.

Oh, I was an EXPERT in kids before I had them. Here are some of the gems that used to come out of my mouth:

• "I'm never going to own a minivan." - We bought one just before I got pregnant with ODD.
• "MY kids are never going to bite other children." - Well, guess what? ODD was "the biter" in her 2 yr old classroom at preschool shortly after YDD was born. ODD was like a vampire for a few months.
• "We are NOT going to use the TV as a babysitter all the time." - Yeah, that went right out the door from the get go. One of ODD's favorites was Bunny Town on the Disney Channel.
• "My kids WILL eat what's put in front of them or ELSE!" - Yeah sure, until YDD came along and taught me what being stubborn really is all about. YDD is now 13 and is still picky. For example, she loves pasta salad. I use a boxed mix from the grocery store, but instead of water, I use balsamic vinegar to make the 'dressing.' Well, normally, I make it with our cheap generic Kroger brand of vinegar. ONE time, I made it with Costco balsamic vinegar...YDD hated it, said, "Mama, did you use a different kind of vinegar in this? Because this doesn't taste the same."
• "MY kids aren't going to get a cell phone until they're 16." - We caved at 13.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

My point was that there is so much stuff that kids are no longer learning, that they should be to replace that time with computer stuff. There is no need for a third grader to learn computing when they don't even have time to teach the basic life skills. There is plenty of time for that when you get to junior high and HS. I work in food and the amount of young people today that can't make basic change in their heads is shocking. Not to mention that they can't read cursive, as if it is another language. There is a whole young generation that did not have computer classes in elementary school that are doing just fine on their computer skills. Pretty much anyone in their 20s and older. Are they all "behind" in technology? Of course they are not. I am not saying that teaching computing is bad, just that it needs to be at an appropriate age and they still need to teach basic life skills too.

FWIW in elementary school we did learn even back then computing. You learned typing lessons, you played computer games (where in the world is carmen sandiego and hello oregon trail (II for more my age group). I had a v-tech laptop when I was really young. There's no way any kid in the last 30 years starts computer stuff until middle or high school unless the school did not have funds for computers. I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s and we def. had computer stuff. Now I didn't have a personal computer at home til 5th or 6th grade but I was doing all these computer things at school. What generation are you talking about that didn't have computer classes in elementary school? Cuz it wasn't Millennials..we did.

What kids have nowadays is really just increased technology but it's not new. I do think you have a point about balance. Balance out the tablet and iPad with non-screen based learning. Balance out basic life skills with more high-tech ones.

(ETA: oh oh I remember encarta 95 OMG that thing I spent hours on. I liked it much better on my dad's DSL than my mom's dial up though )

 

[prestoncaldwell]

My point was that there is so much stuff that kids are no longer learning, that they should be to replace that time with computer stuff. There is no need for a third grader to learn computing when they don't even have time to teach the basic life skills. There is plenty of time for that when you get to junior high and HS. I work in food and the amount of young people today that can't make basic change in their heads is shocking. Not to mention that they can't read cursive, as if it is another language. There is a whole young generation that did not have computer classes in elementary school that are doing just fine on their computer skills. Pretty much anyone in their 20s and older. Are they all "behind" in technology? Of course they are not. I am not saying that teaching computing is bad, just that it needs to be at an appropriate age and they still need to teach basic life skills too.

My point is that ability to use a computer is mutually exclusive to the ability to make change. To limit a child to only the basics is underplaying their ability to learn so, so many things at one time. At thirteen, she knows how to make change, by subtracting or counting up, your choice. She can also produce her own charts for her science project.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

My point was that there is so much stuff that kids are no longer learning, that they should be to replace that time with computer stuff. There is no need for a third grader to learn computing when they don't even have time to teach the basic life skills. There is plenty of time for that when you get to junior high and HS. I work in food and the amount of young people today that can't make basic change in their heads is shocking. Not to mention that they can't read cursive, as if it is another language. There is a whole young generation that did not have computer classes in elementary school that are doing just fine on their computer skills. Pretty much anyone in their 20s and older. Are they all "behind" in technology? Of course they are not. I am not saying that teaching computing is bad, just that it needs to be at an appropriate age and they still need to teach basic life skills too.

I’m 41 and I had computer classes in elementary school. Frankly, my tech skills are abysmal and I wish I’d gotten a stronger foundation in learning those things when I was younger.

To the point of the thread, I can’t think of any major philosophical changes I’ve had since having kids. I parent pretty much the way I thought I would. One pleasant surprise is that parenting is not nearly as miserable an experience as I expected it to be based on all the complaining I’d always heard from parents about how awful it is.

 

[mrodgers]

I vowed not to be my mother. I wasn't. My kids were not my personal slave who are not allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions.

I lived my entire life knowing what I do with my life because my mother tells me how I live. I'm 49 and she just told me on Sunday how horrible I eat. Interesting because I never cook food from a box, everything is real perishable food from the fact that I dry my own spices, I've in the past raised my own chicken for meat and eggs and still get that now and then, helped raise with my children the beef we ate, my kids didn't even know what a box of cake mix was until they reached kindergarten, grew and preserved (still preserve from my ex's garden or her mother sends me from her garden) vegetables for the year from the garden. Yet she doesn't suggest, she tells me matter of fact that I don't eat properly and what exactly I do eat (which of course is completely wrong) while she eats her prepackaged dollar store food.

She tells me exactly how my kids are as well, which is interesting as the 18 year old doesn't even know what grandma looks like because grandma hasn't come around since my 21 year old's 3rd birthday party.

Everything I do in life, I first think, is this something my mother would do, that is how much I don't want to be like my mother and parenting wasn't any different.