The Random Thread and the Royal Family of Canadia, the USA, and Great Britain

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Wanda: We have good news and bad news.
Timmy: What's the good news?
Cosmo: The alien we got you is actually a prince from the dreaded war planet Yugopotamia.
Wanda: And his parents are on their way to destroy the Earth and rescue their son!
Timmy: What's the bad news?
Wanda: Oh, wait...that was the bad news!
Timmy: (shouting) Then what's the good news?!
Cosmo: I found a nickel!
 
Cosmo: We're in Kidney Land! Oh, my gosh! Look!
Cosmo & Wanda: It's Walt Kidney!
 
Timmy: Christmas Day is here once more.
Wanda: Gifts, and love, and joy galore.
Cosmo: A special day that wipes the floor
All: With the other three-hundred-and-sixty-four!
Timmy: I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause Santa brings gifts every year.
He's reading my list,
he's feeding the deer,
He's hauling my gifts from the North Pole to here.
I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause every other holiday reeeeks!
New Years Eve's for Mom and Dad,
The Easter Bunny's eggs smell REALLY BAD!!!
Valentines Day always makes me sad...
Dad: Cause Timmy just can't get a girlfriend.
Timmy: WHAT??!!
Cosmo and Wanda: I wish every day could be Christmas.
'Cause nice fairies get their rewards.
Wanda: I got pudding, I got slacks.
Cosmo: I got all my back hair waxed!
Cosmo and Wanda: Santa grants wishes while we relax,
Cosmo: And Timmy still can't get a girlfriend!
Timmy: Stop that!
There's just no other day like Christmas.
My family stays here, it's real cool.
Just me, Mom, and Dad.
I'm so very glad.
There's no Vicky,
No Vicky,
No school.
Cosmo: And no Vicky!
Timmy: Right!
I wish every day could be Christmas.
Then I get the best gift of all.
My parents stay home to say...
Mom and Dad: We love you, Noggy.
Dad: MINE!!
Timmy: Wouldn't Christmas each day be the coolest of all?
I wish it were Christmas...
How I wish it were Christmas.
I wish it were Christmas...
Each day.
 
Timmy: I wished every day would be Christmas.
Jeepers, how foolish I was.
It isn't a gift, it isn't a toy
It's the family and friends that I really enjoy!
I wish that tomorrow weren't Christmas.
But I wish that the feeling would stay.
'Cause Christmas can always be there in your heart.
And never be locked to just one single day.
It's great that tomorrow ain't Christmas.
In Dimmsdale, London and Rome.
If I had just one wish
I think it'd be this...
I really just want to go home now.
I really just wish I were home.
 

Timmy: Yeah, well, you know what I wish? I wish something bad would happen to him!
Wanda: Okay, but you can't wish him maimed.
Timmy: Okay, then. I wish-
Cosmo: Or injured.
Timmy: Then-
Wanda: Or beaten...or dead.
Timmy: Fine. I wish that the worst possible non-lethal thing would happen to Chip Skylark right now!
 
Vicky: You can watch this while I find someone who will perform a marriage ceremony between a crazed fan and a celebrity teen hostage. To the Internet!
 
(Timmy is studying for his quiz):
Cosmo: Hey, wanna play the Not Study Game?
Timmy: How do you play?
Cosmo (after shoving Timmy's textbooks off the desk): You're already playing!
Cosmo & Timmy: YAY!
(after a "Not Study" poof, we see Cosmo and Timmy playing the Crash Nebula video game)
 
Wanda: And don't make him re-live Super Toilet!
Cosmo: It took the plunger...THE WHOLE PLUNGER! (curls into fetal position and sucks his thumb)
 
Timmy: [poofing into Hairy World] Fairy World?
Hairy monster: Hairy World.
[A fairy cow poofs in]
Cow: Dairy World?
Timmy: Hairy World.
Cow: Oh darn it! [poofs away]
 
Spanish teacher: ¿Donde esta el queso de governmente?
Cosmo: (holding up a piece of cheese emblazoned with the U.S. flag) ¡Aquí! ¡Tengo un puerco en mis chones!
Wanda: You have a hog in your pants?!
Cosmo: ¡Sí! (pulls a pig out of his pants)
Spanish teacher: Then you get extra credit!
All: Yay! Extra credit!
 
Aide: Mister President, you almost caused a nuclear war! What are you going to do next?
President: I'm goin' to Escalator Land!
 
Wanda: Cosmo thinks everything's funny. Watch. (to Cosmo, speaking in a monotone voice) Pudding.
Cosmo: Ha-ha-ha! She said 'puh', then 'ding'!
 
Dad: Hey, guess what, Timmy, we're gonna grade you on your performance! We'll give you an A-! [holds out an A-]
Timmy: An A-minus?!
Dad: Up-bup-bup, questioning the grades, that gives you a B. [holds out a B]
Timmy: But...
Dad: Talking back, that gives you a C! [holds out a C]
Timmy: A C?!
Dad: Raising your voice! D! [holds out a Q]
Timmy: That's a Q!
Dad: That gives you an F, smarty pants! [hands him an F]
 
"There's still enough pretty color left for one of us to slide down the rainbow bridge! Wow, there wasn't a manly word in that sentence."
 
"Two fairies had a thought in their head, had a bet to decide who'd I wed, But when during their bout, their big secret got out..." (Juandisimo) "...And now both of those morons are dead?"
 
(after Timmy loses a game of charades) (flapping his arms) "This is not a bulldozer! (holds out fists and trots across floor) This is not a bicycle! (scoots across floor on butt) AND HOW IS THIS GHOSTBUSTERS II?!?!"
 
Wanda: Stop yelling at Timmy! 'Timmy: Stop yelling at Cosmo! Wanda: Well stop yelling at me for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at you! Timmy: Stop yelling at me for yelling at you for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at me! Wanda: Stop yelling at me for yelling at you for yelling at me for yelling at Cosmo for yelling at you! Cosmo: Stop yelling at Timmy for yelling at you for yelling at him and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
 
Cosmo: This episode was brought to you by the Society for Healthy Colons!
Cosmo & Wanda: Yay, colons!
 
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