The "Newest" Moms Hangout...

[harleyquinn]

Ours are the same. The only reason I know the stance our main ped has on CIO is my daughter was a terrible sleeper starting around 4 months. I mean a nightmare when she was previously normal. So I asked what to do and she said no CIO till 6 months. I could never do it anyway cause our daughter would cry till she vomited and never fall asleep.


Sarah - I have a lot of CIO-fan friends too. One of my really good friends is a huge fan of just putting her kids in their kids, shutting the door, and returning 12 hours later. Actually with this 3rd kid she's in the crib 14 hours and is 6 months old. Well she would rave on about how well her son slept while my daughter was up everynight (all 3 of our kids were born within months of each other), telling me I should just stick her in the crib, let her cry, take away the nighttime feedings, Nuks, etc. Then our kids turned 2yo. Her son started wake up every single night, multiple times a night, and was no longer in the crib as he could climb out. So he was standing that the fence in his doorway screaming, waking up not only my friend and her husband, but their new baby as well. So guess where he ended up sleeping everynight? Yes, their bed. Anything to keep the baby sleeping she said. Well then he got used to sleeping with them and wouldn't go to bed unless someone would lay with him at night. For hours. And then scream anytime he woke up alone. My 2yo was sleeping soundly for 12 hours a night in her own bed.

Wow! That is extreme!

New topic!
Anyone doing anything exciting for V-day? DH and I are going to see The Lightning Thief while grandpa watches Lily. Maybe we'll even stop and eat at Wendy's or something...

 

[december]

Dh is taking all of us out to eat after the pageant tonight. He keeps asking if I'm sure that is all I want. Yep-no cooking, and no cleaning up afterward! And a big juicy steak!

We just got back from getting dd10's hair and makeup done. Pageants are soooooooooo expensive!

 

[harleyquinn]

We need pics!!!

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

Another vote here for no CIO until they are older!

Well, we were going to have Luca's official Birthday party with family tomorrow, but DS#1 has developed a fever of 102 and a cough out of nowhere..so there goes our Valentine's Day.

 

[yellowfish78]

We went to the Home and Garden show today and then stopped for Chinese. Alex had a blast at the Home and Garden show - DH wore Alex in the carrier and he kept looking at everything!!!

 

[Maggimus]

nevermind... decided not to justify my methods of parenting...

Just so many of you know- CIO isnt laying your children in their bed so the parent can be selfish and do what they want. Also-- it isnt laying them down and not coming back until the next morning. Those parents are extreme and there are some in every class of parenting. Teaching your child to self soothe is an okay thing. Jake doesnt CIO-- he doesnt even cry anymore- he whines. And its for 30seconds tops usually... 5minutes at an extreme.

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

nevermind... decided not to justify my methods of parenting...

Just so many of you know- CIO isnt laying your children in their bed so the parent can be selfish and do what they want. Also-- it isnt laying them down and not coming back until the next morning. Those parents are extreme and there are some in every class of parenting. Teaching your child to self soothe is an okay thing. Jake doesnt CIO-- he doesnt even cry anymore- he whines. And its for 30seconds tops usually... 5minutes at an extreme.

With Luca being my last, I got up with him every time he cried and nursed him. Couldn't help it....wish I was still nursing now...I would love to get up with him. As hard as it was, I really miss it!

Self-soothing is a really good thing! Some babies are ready for it early on and it takes some others longer.

 

[justhat]

nevermind... decided not to justify my methods of parenting...

Just so many of you know- CIO isnt laying your children in their bed so the parent can be selfish and do what they want. Also-- it isnt laying them down and not coming back until the next morning. Those parents are extreme and there are some in every class of parenting. Teaching your child to self soothe is an okay thing. Jake doesnt CIO-- he doesnt even cry anymore- he whines. And its for 30seconds tops usually... 5minutes at an extreme.

I hope you don't think that anyone thinks you are remotely selfish or anything like that as I am sure that is not the case. My son was an awesome sleeper on his own doing, but if he was sick or we went out of town or something that disrupted his schedule, he'd often have trouble for a couple of days when things were back to normal at home. And for that we used a CIO version. So I'm in no way opposed to it or anything like that. But I know what Sarah means about the 6 month age thing because before that a lot of babies truly need you/feedings/pacifiers. Not all of them of course, as my son was one of those who did not, but I am thinking that is where it is coming from.


My friend who does the 'lay them in the crib and don't come back till the next morning' doesn't even do it for selfish reasons. She just really believes in self-soothing at an early age and feels that's the best way to do it. She loves spending time with her kids, but that's just her preferred sleep training method.

 

[justhat]

With Luca being my last, I got up with him every time he cried and nursed him. Couldn't help it....wish I was still nursing now...I would love to get up with him. As hard as it was, I really miss it!

Self-soothing is a really good thing! Some babies are ready for it early on and it takes some others longer.

I am so in the same mode right now. Scarlett is definitely my last and even though I am so, so much more exhausted with those nighttime feedings than I ever was with the other 2, I can't help holding her nonstop and enjoying all the newborn stuff cause I know it's my last round. After my first I was thrilled when my son was all about his crib and sleeping alone, but I am secretly hoping this one isn't cause I miss waking up to a tiny baby!

 

[Piecey]

Hey, I've let Lucas CIO since the first night home from the hospital. Sure, DH got him after about 15 minutes and brought him to me [I couldn't get up, DH had cooconed me in with pillows and nothing wakes my DH up so it took me that long to wake him up] and his second night we put a radio in his crib and I think he went to sleep about 20 minutes later.

In general, I've always let him CIO. I still do. If I know he's fine (fed, clean, warm, safe) I've let him cry... It doesn't bother me to listen to him cry.

At the end of the day, my kid has slept through the night (in his own crib) since he was just a few months old. Almost everyone, pediatrician included, comments on how happy he is. I went to a baby shower and then to eat at a Mexican restaurant today. Everyone at the baby shower went on and on about how great he was. 7 people/couples at the restaurant stopped to tell us they wish they were seated next to a kid like ours more often.

I can't say for sure that my methods have made Lucas into the great kid that he is, but I don't think they've hurt him at all.

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

Happy Valentine's Day!

Well we have a new crawler in the house! We set our LO on the floor this morning to cook breakfast. He leaned over to flop down on the floor onto his tummy to reach a toy. The toy rolled a little bit away from him and he went after it on hands and knees! I was so excited DH was home to see it.

He's currently pushing a Huggies box from Costco across the floor. All you can see is the box moving closer and closer.

 

[yellowfish78]

Target has some Sesame Street Beginnings books in their dollar stop. Alex now has Bubbles, Bubbles, At the Zoo, and Nighty Night. His newest favorite though is a pop up book called Buzz Off I'm Busy!. Hope everyone had a great day!!!

 

[december]

nevermind... decided not to justify my methods of parenting...

Just so many of you know- CIO isnt laying your children in their bed so the parent can be selfish and do what they want. Also-- it isnt laying them down and not coming back until the next morning. Those parents are extreme and there are some in every class of parenting. Teaching your child to self soothe is an okay thing. Jake doesnt CIO-- he doesnt even cry anymore- he whines. And its for 30seconds tops usually... 5minutes at an extreme.

I don't think there was a need to justify anything! I believe in everyone doing what works for them, as long as your baby is healthy and happy!

Well, the good news is that the pageant is over, and she says she never wants to do it again! Besides the fact that she didn't place, the whole thing was a joke. No, really! The judges were home town girls, barely out of college, but that wasn't even near the worst part of the night.

The ladies in charge had never done this before (the pageant is a fundraiser for the annual staff, and the lady who did that left last year, leaving these 2 ladies in charge). I tried to give some advice during rehearsal (which is pathetic) but they wouldn't listen. They never marked anything on the stage floor for the girls to know where to start and stop, told them to do different things on stage (some were to told turn at the corners, some were told to turn in the middle also), and had them spinning like ballerinas instead of slow graceful turns. They decorated with Christmas trees and reindeer. It was in the gym, and they never even took the basketballs off the floor!

The elementary division was supposed to start at 6, the middle school at 6:45, and the high school at 7:30. Well, the elementary didn't end until 8:50!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't talked to anybody yet to find out when the pageant finally ended. We got out of there as soon as the elementary one ended. It was the most unorganized disaster I have ever witnessed.

What was worse was my parents and in-laws were there, and now they don't understand why on earth I would want to teach there, to send the kids there! We came across as the biggest bunch of hicks in the world! People talked, out loud and on cell phones, through the whole thing. Walked around and played! They had a concession stand! I guess that was good, since some of us got there at 5 for pics, including some of the high school kids, and I'm sure they didn't get out of there before midnight!

When it was over, we went to the steakhouse that I used to love, that shut down and we haven't been back since it opened under new management. I couldn't wait, and I was so happy that they decided to stay open late (it was 9pm when we got there, and they normally close at 9). They were in shock that only the elementary part was finished! We were starving,and the food sucked!!!!!

$300 down the drain, plus $75 for dinner. But it is over!

 

[viviensmama]

We did absolutely no CIO until Vivien was six months, and now we do let her cry a little when we put her in her crib. It was the *only* way I finally got her to sleep in there. I was determined to not let her CIO at all but my girl is stubborn! She never cries longer than 10 minutes or so though. I'm going a little crazy right now because we are living with my parents while we are selling our house, and they have such a hard time letting her cry in her crib at all. Literally if I'm on the toilet and my dad is busy he will run to get her and burst into the bathroom to hand her to me. True story, people.


We are house shopping right now and I think I have made the fatal mistake of falling in love with a house. I love it so much I don't even want to look at any more! Luckily hubby feels the same way, but we haven't sold our house yet. Praying it isn't sold before we can get to it.

 

[MinnieFan4ever]

viviensmama hope you get the house and sell yours quickly!!!!

Gosh- alot has been going on here. Hope everyone had a great weekend. Ours was pretty good. We went car shopping on Saturday. They didn't have what I wanted in stock so the dealership is searching for it. I can't believe we leave in 3 weeks for Disney!!! I am ready for some fun in the sun I anybody else ready for Spring? I sure am. My BIL and SIL will be joining us and they are a lot of fun. My parents are coming in again to watch Natalie for us. I hope it works out as well as it did the last time.

Natalie has her 8 month birthday on Thursday. Time is really passing me by way to fast. She is getting so big. Last Friday I did find her with one arm in the dogs water bowl. She was like, this is the coolest thing ever!!!! I am waiting for her to try to crawl out the doggie door next. We still only have 2 bottom teeth and it looks like the top ones may come in soon. She is chewing on everything. I am sooo impressed with those of you who are BF when your LO's have teeth Hope everyone has a great snow free week!

 

[harleyquinn]

nevermind... decided not to justify my methods of parenting...

Just so many of you know- CIO isnt laying your children in their bed so the parent can be selfish and do what they want. Also-- it isnt laying them down and not coming back until the next morning. Those parents are extreme and there are some in every class of parenting. Teaching your child to self soothe is an okay thing. Jake doesnt CIO-- he doesnt even cry anymore- he whines. And its for 30seconds tops usually... 5minutes at an extreme.

You don't need to justify or explain anything. Self soothing is wonderful and essential. I just think that when suggesting that someone use CIO, they should really read the book to know the "right" way to use the technique since it is so easy to do wrong. I'm sorry if you felt like we were attacking you.

Target has some Sesame Street Beginnings books in their dollar stop. Alex now has Bubbles, Bubbles, At the Zoo, and Nighty Night. His newest favorite though is a pop up book called Buzz Off I'm Busy!. Hope everyone had a great day!!!

Lily LOVES At the Zoo. We read it every single night. I'll have to go up and see if my Target has the others. We also have Ears, Nose and Toes that we got from Target, which is really cute too.

 

[Piecey]

I just think it's a bit crazy to suggest someone read a book to see if they are parenting correctly, Sarah. It feels like an attack because you're still telling us we could be doing something "wrong" and we should read a book to correct ourselves.

They didn't have books years ago and we all managed to still be born and survive to get to where we are now.

I parent the way that works for me. I don't take advice from my family, I don't read books. If someone told me to read a book I'd tell them to shove it up their bum. My kid is happy, he self-soothes and his pediatrician has no problems with my parenting methods. He, at every SINGLE appointment, comments about how happy he is. He's healthy as a horse and he loves me, so I don't put merit in that if I let him CIO he's not going to bond/trust me/whatever the books say. He reaches for me if someone else is holding him. He smiles when he sees me and watches me when I walk around a room. He knows that I love him and he trusts me and that is all that I need to know that he's being raised appropriately and in a way that my DH and I can live with.

I'm not trying to attack you either, so please don't think that I am. I know that as a librarian you turn to books and all that for most things. But, that doesn't make it right for everyone. It feels as though you are judging me (especially since you didn't comment on my earlier post) and it's a bit ridiculous to me to think that your way and your beliefs are the only way to do things.

 

[yellowfish78]

Lily LOVES At the Zoo. We read it every single night. I'll have to go up and see if my Target has the others. We also have Ears, Nose and Toes that we got from Target, which is really cute too.

If you can't find it, let me know. I can pick it up for you here. I'm in Beachwood at least once every two weeks. (mmmmnnn Olive Garden {insert Homer Simpson drool} )

 

[yellowfish78]

How are you feeling Patsy? Is this pregnancy any different than the last yet?

ETA - I know it hasn't been long yet...

 

[Maggimus]

Sarah- Jake has been put to sleep the best way he possibly could since Day 1. I would never do anything to hurt my child, please know that. He was planned since Day 1. I had to go off a certain medicine just to conceive him. I love rocking him, and I certainly can relate with every single person who has said they want to hold their baby as long as they can and rock them. It is so hard... its the hardest thing about him being able to self soothe now is me not being able to hold him and rock him. I do rock him at night on his last bottle... but hes already asleep on it and im just laying him down at that point. I get my cuddle time in, I promise. Unfortunately, he wont be little forever and every day I get more emotional about it. I dont want this stage to ever end.. but as a parent we all see it come and go. As far as the way I did it... i'd say I did it well. Like i said- the extreme people might lay them in the bed and not check on them until morning, but like Patsy, if I know he is fed, warm, his diaper is dry, and he hasnt been feeling unwell.... what good does it do for me to pick him up? Babies are certainly smart and know a lot more than we give them credit for. Have you ever had your baby cry and cry, and you go and pick them up and they stop? We all (babies and adults alike) have feelings and needs... Sometimes, I, myself, wake up at night and cant get comfortable, and it takes me a minute to go back to sleep. Babies arent so patient- so sometimes those in the middle of the night wakings arent just bc they need something tangible from me... sometimes they just need to go back to sleep. Before Jake could self soothe- there was no way to read his mind (even now). So if he cried, I would stick a bottle in his mouth assuming he was hungry, change his diaper, and rock him back to sleep. Who knows what was really wrong? But those are the only things i can do for him unless he is hurt (which i do shine the flashlight on him and check on him) or needs his back scratched. But then again, before in my pre-self soothing days, i may have given him a bottle when he only needed a back scratch... or then again, he may have just needed to go to bed. SOme babies DO need feedings in the night. But my child is healthy and thrives without it. He has a hunger cry-- he has a tired cry. I know his cries... and if i thought for a second that my child (who does sleep in my room at night) was hungry- i would feed him in a second. I keep a bottle with water in it and formula by the bed every night so that im ready in case he does. Jake, like Lucas- Patsy's son, is very happy. Im sure many of you saw his Christmas pictures. He is alittle fella.... but one of the happiest around. If i thought he was unhappy, not thriving, or felt unloved I wouldnt reevaltuate the way I do things. He is so happy... so healthy... and SO loved. Dont get me wrong, we had issues in the beginning bc Jake had a food allergy-- and I never let him lay in the bed when his stomach was hurting. There for about a month he slept in the bed, on top of my stomach. That right there shows you that ive gone from one thing to another. Many will say thats a terrible thing to do as well.

All in all, our moms raised us the way they felt was best-- and we are all doing just the best we can at this point. I do what I feel is right for Jake... I would never do anything to make him hurt. I know you werent insinuating that I was... but I dont think I need a book to tell me how to parent. Every baby is different. Thats why we parent differently.