The "Newest" Moms Hangout...

[Disney Ron]

interesting reading on here lately. Each to his own...books or no books...tones are coming across a bit harsh. Just my opinion.

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

I am sooo impressed with those of you who are BF when your LO's have teeth

Thanks! I have the thought of biting in the back of my mind all the time. Especially now that my LO has 8 teeth! 4 top 4 bottom as of this weekend.

 

[Piecey]

Sarah- Jake has been put to sleep the best way he possibly could since Day 1. I would never do anything to hurt my child, please know that. He was planned since Day 1. I had to go off a certain medicine just to conceive him. I love rocking him, and I certainly can relate with every single person who has said they want to hold their baby as long as they can and rock them. It is so hard... its the hardest thing about him being able to self soothe now is me not being able to hold him and rock him. I do rock him at night on his last bottle... but hes already asleep on it and im just laying him down at that point. I get my cuddle time in, I promise. Unfortunately, he wont be little forever and every day I get more emotional about it. I dont want this stage to ever end.. but as a parent we all see it come and go. As far as the way I did it... i'd say I did it well. Like i said- the extreme people might lay them in the bed and not check on them until morning, but like Patsy, if I know he is fed, warm, his diaper is dry, and he hasnt been feeling unwell.... what good does it do for me to pick him up? Babies are certainly smart and know a lot more than we give them credit for. Have you ever had your baby cry and cry, and you go and pick them up and they stop? We all (babies and adults alike) have feelings and needs... Sometimes, I, myself, wake up at night and cant get comfortable, and it takes me a minute to go back to sleep. Babies arent so patient- so sometimes those in the middle of the night wakings arent just bc they need something tangible from me... sometimes they just need to go back to sleep. Before Jake could self soothe- there was no way to read his mind (even now). So if he cried, I would stick a bottle in his mouth assuming he was hungry, change his diaper, and rock him back to sleep. Who knows what was really wrong? But those are the only things i can do for him unless he is hurt (which i do shine the flashlight on him and check on him) or needs his back scratched. But then again, before in my pre-self soothing days, i may have given him a bottle when he only needed a back scratch... or then again, he may have just needed to go to bed. SOme babies DO need feedings in the night. But my child is healthy and thrives without it. He has a hunger cry-- he has a tired cry. I know his cries... and if i thought for a second that my child (who does sleep in my room at night) was hungry- i would feed him in a second. I keep a bottle with water in it and formula by the bed every night so that im ready in case he does. Jake, like Lucas- Patsy's son, is very happy. Im sure many of you saw his Christmas pictures. He is alittle fella.... but one of the happiest around. If i thought he was unhappy, not thriving, or felt unloved I wouldnt reevaltuate the way I do things. He is so happy... so healthy... and SO loved. Dont get me wrong, we had issues in the beginning bc Jake had a food allergy-- and I never let him lay in the bed when his stomach was hurting. There for about a month he slept in the bed, on top of my stomach. That right there shows you that ive gone from one thing to another. Many will say thats a terrible thing to do as well.

All in all, our moms raised us the way they felt was best-- and we are all doing just the best we can at this point. I do what I feel is right for Jake... I would never do anything to make him hurt. I know you werent insinuating that I was... but I dont think I need a book to tell me how to parent. Every baby is different. Thats why we parent differently.

I'm just glad they finally figured out some of Jake's issues! I know he was breaking your heart there for a bit. It's baffling what cow's milk will do, isn't it? Lucas just refused to eat the formula with cow's milk (in the hospital, right after he was born) so I got lucky. It's easy to figure out the problem when the kid won't touch the stuff. It's amazing how smart they are. He figured out it was the formula that made his tummy hurt.
Obviously his issuer is a lot milder than Jakes.. but like I said.. glad they figured it out!
Oh, and I do the same thing! I keep bottles already made up with water in Lucas' room along with a can of formula. I think I've had to use 1 bottle in the last two months (and I woke him up when I checked on him) but it's nice that it's already there if I need it vs. trekking downstairs to get him some food.

I wasn't trying to attack Sarah, I was trying to stand up for myself because I *felt* attacked (though I don't think it was Sarah's intention at all). I think most of us realize that you can't tell a tone/attitude perfectly from an online posting.

At the end of the day, we're all different and so are our kiddos. My next one might not let me do things the same as I've done with Lucas. He's a pretty happy-go-lucky little guy and I know I got incredibly lucky with him!
Unless he sees you holding a bottle and you don't immediately hand it over! Then he attacks!



Chanon, I'm good. Thanks for asking! I had no morning sickness or anything with Lucas so in general this one has been tougher on me. I've gotten sick a handful of times (mostly related to poopy diapers from the boy!) and been nauseous a lot but not bad! My energy is finally coming back! I started going through some boxes in our guest room (previously our junk room ) to start piecing together the nursery. Exciting stuff.

 

[harleyquinn]

I'm sorry you guys. I totally don't mean to come across as a know it all, and I know that's how it sounds. I know none of you would ever do anything to harm your LOs!

I just see CIO being recommended so often without an explanation of what the technique actually is. I think CIO has become a catch phrase for letting your child cry at all and not running to them. That is not CIO. Letting them cry for a couple of minutes is not CIO. CIO is ignoring your instincts and forcing your child to scream (not whine, not just cry) so that they are forced to self soothe. The original method of Ferber's CIO was so harsh that he had to make new recommendations in new editions of his book. That's the CIO I'm talking about.

There are studies that show that Ferber's CIO is actually harmful. The CIO that Maggie and Patsy are talking about is not Ferber's CIO.

My original comment stemmed from Maggie saying that she did it with Jake at 4 months. I think that's too early for some babies...not all!! Even Ferber said not to try until 5 months. I should have said this then...every baby is different, and if Maggie felt comfortable doing whatever she did at that time, I know she did the right thing for her family, because it is her family.

My book comment was stupid...none of us has time to read a book...I was trying to say that I don't think that CIO should be recommended without telling the parent to seek more information. There's a bunch of sites on the Internet that explain CIO and other gentler techniques quickly.

I've been pressured by at least 5 people to try CIO. None of them explained exactly what it was, they basically said that you need to let them cry so they learn to go to sleep by themselves. There are sooo many variations of CIO. I have a friend who did it with her 6 week old and had to leave the house so she wouldn't hear her cry. And she read the book.

You know I love all of you and never meant to hurt anyone. I know we are doing the best we can.

 

[harleyquinn]

I know I left stuff out...I didn't mean to ignore you Patsy!

I've got storytime...I'll be back after that!

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

I am very jealous. The hormones are flying around this board.

I miss hormones.....mine are gone...so are the bbs officially. No more babies...no more hormones...my baby is walking and understands when I tell him to go look for his bottle. If I say it's time for "nighty-night", he goes to his room.

I wasn't a new mom in the true sense when I came to this board, but I feel like my "due date" has come and that I'm supposed to move on. Not that I plan on it or want to...it's just that we've moved into a new phase here. That's what we're all here for, to support each other through our life changes.

So, to all the mom's here. We may all have different methods of parenting, but our kids are going to be ok....after all, the one thing we ALL have in common is a love of Disney to share with our children!

I look forward to many more years with you all (or at least until the kids go to college)!

 

[Disney Ron]

I am very jealous. The hormones are flying around this board.

I miss hormones.....mine are gone...so are the bbs officially. No more babies...no more hormones...my baby is walking and understands when I tell him to go look for his bottle. If I say it's time for "nighty-night", he goes to his room.

I wasn't a new mom in the true sense when I came to this board, but I feel like my "due date" has come and that I'm supposed to move on. Not that I plan on it or want to...it's just that we've moved into a new phase here. That's what we're all here for, to support each other through our life changes.

So, to all the mom's here. We may all have different methods of parenting, but our kids are going to be ok....after all, the one thing we ALL have in common is a love of Disney to share with our children!

I look forward to many more years with you all (or at least until the kids go to college)!

Well said from one very experienced Mom.

 

[Maggimus]

Sarah, I know what you are saying and I respect you feeling so strongly about what you do. My only intent is to clear up the misconceptions that you and others may have about CIO. I dont think very many ppl let their babies CRY every single night... every night... for hours and hours... and let it become routine. If they do then I wouldnt call that CIO... i'd call that something else. Unfortunately, to get to the point of letting them whine just a little bit- you have to let them cry a little. Like I said before, Jakes first night on CIO (which i do believe is what it is bc i had to put him in the bed, shut the door, and listen to him cry) was for 30 minutes straight. Sure, i hated hearing it. DH and I cringed... but that was what we had to do in the beginning. He doesnt do that anymore at all. But had we not done that- he wouldnt have got to where we are now. This is probably what your friend is talking about when she said she had to leave the house. The first little bit is challenging. I had a friend who sent her husband to bed when she did it bc he wanted to go pick the baby up so bad. I dont think Jakes needs werent being met those first nights when he would cry, I just think he didnt know what was going on and was tired and didnt know what to do (and crying is his way of telling me that). He doesnt cry like that now-- so I do believe he was doing the crying only for that reason. You can't rock them for months and months and then expect to lay them down and them know how to sleep on their own, without them crying. They won't whine--- they will cry. Unless they are at the age of talking- then they will probably tell you how upset they are and pitch a fit, kick, hit, and maybe say a few curse words they heard from Aunt Polly on Christmas. It's a new ballgame for a baby- and they don't know how to react other than to cry. I dont think a baby crying is a terrible thing. If Jake cries-- I know what it means.... "im tired" (the rubbing the eyes and yawning is a good cue too ). I feed him so often during the day he doesnt get the opportunity to get hungry... and he gets changed as much as he's fed. When he had pain in his stomach from his milk allergy, i would say different... but right now.. he cries when hes tired. If he is in the floor whining and im doing laundry- I get to him quick... but if he is crying i dont hit a dead sprint or anything. If he cries when I lay him in the crib and begins to protest going to bed - then I let him. He pitches a little fit-- but he always goes to sleep soon. He is tired... and many times thats my fault that he does that bc i let him get overly tired.

I am not at all upset ) I just wanted to clear up some misconceptions. Once you get over the initial point of letting the baby learn... then its a breeze. I think you know when your child is ready. Thats the time when you try a few times and it doesnt work. But when you try and each time things get better- i think they are old enough. My pediatrician did say this is something developmentally that they need to learn and it should be a parents first stage of tough love. She said if you wait long enough to where they are pulling up- it will be harder and harder. Bc their protests arent just cries-- they become more physical.

 

[Maggimus]

I am very jealous. The hormones are flying around this board.

I miss hormones.....mine are gone...so are the bbs officially. No more babies...no more hormones...my baby is walking and understands when I tell him to go look for his bottle. If I say it's time for "nighty-night", he goes to his room.

I wasn't a new mom in the true sense when I came to this board, but I feel like my "due date" has come and that I'm supposed to move on. Not that I plan on it or want to...it's just that we've moved into a new phase here. That's what we're all here for, to support each other through our life changes.

So, to all the mom's here. We may all have different methods of parenting, but our kids are going to be ok....after all, the one thing we ALL have in common is a love of Disney to share with our children!

I look forward to many more years with you all (or at least until the kids go to college)!

The day after I came home from the hospital I read the book "I love you forever".. have you read it? Oh. My. GOSH! Tears everywhere...

As Jake gets bigger everyday and learns something new all the time-- I start feeling like time is getting away from me and he will be 16 tomorrow. It seems like something new is happening every single day.

 

[december]

I think we are all ok now, right? I will say, for you first time moms, don't make any plans for your next baby based on this one! All three of mine are so different!

I finally got caught up at work today. It was a work day-no kids. I locked myself in my room and graded all day! Then I went and bought a new washing machine. Mine died this weekend. So much for that tax return!

 

[Piecey]

Ugh. I had to walk out of the house once. I went and sat on the front porch and cried.

I forget how old Lucas was. I'd say about 8-9 weeks, because I remember that I *hurt* so I'm thinking it was shortly after I got my gallbladder out.

It was around the time he learned to kick his legs and would kick the diaper and such out from underneathe of him. Plus, he was screaming [for no reason] and I couldn't do it. So I went out on the porch, got some fresh air and cried.

I came back in and he wasn't crying and I felt ten times better. Sometimes you just need to walk away!!!

 

[Piecey]

Okay, this just cracked me up!!

I realized it was Monday (DH got the day off, that always throws me) and I had homework due. Logged in and this is the assignment:

"Critical Thinking Question - Chapters 7, 8
Identify the parenting style of your parents. How do you think this style impacted you? What style would you have preferred? What style do you (if you are a parent; if not, project) use/anticipate using with your children and why?"


Sorry, I just thought it was hilarious and had to post.

(It's for a psychology/human development class.)

 

[ADAMANDLISA]

I think we are all ok now, right? I will say, for you first time moms, don't make any plans for your next baby based on this one! All three of mine are so different!

I finally got caught up at work today. It was a work day-no kids. I locked myself in my room and graded all day! Then I went and bought a new washing machine. Mine died this weekend. So much for that tax return!

Amen sister!!!!!!Never has a more truthful statement been spoken!

 

[harleyquinn]

Okay, this just cracked me up!!

I realized it was Monday (DH got the day off, that always throws me) and I had homework due. Logged in and this is the assignment:

"Critical Thinking Question - Chapters 7, 8
Identify the parenting style of your parents. How do you think this style impacted you? What style would you have preferred? What style do you (if you are a parent; if not, project) use/anticipate using with your children and why?"


Sorry, I just thought it was hilarious and had to post.

(It's for a psychology/human development class.)

 

[harleyquinn]

I have to say that I am totally shocked that it has taken this long for us to have an disagreement over something. I'd say we're doing really, really well.

We had a wonderful V-Day. My parent's came over and watched Lily so DH and I could see The Lightning Thief and go to an early dinner. It was wonderful...it's been way too long since we did something like that! The movie was great! I need to reread the book!

And I still haven't decided whether we're going to WDW in August or December...but I got all of my ADRs for August!

 

[december]

I don't think I posted about that! I want to go for Christmas one year so bad! We get 2 wks, but break usually starts a day or 2 before Christmas. One day we are going to get a week off before, and I'll be on a plane! I took the older kids by myself for Thanksgiving week 2007. It was packed, but with TGM we did everything we wanted, and the Christmas stuff was beautiful! We left Thanksgiving day, and all the Epcot Christmas stuff started on that Fri, so we missed the Holidays around the World. It was COLD our first night (flew in the Fri before for MVMCP-so much fun!). We wore heavy jackets, gloves, and hats! A few days later the kids were in the pool! So you have to pack for all kinds of weather.

I may get August off this year. But without pay. The legislature is apparently considering balancing the budget by moving school from 1st week of Aug to after Labor Day. That way they won't have to pay any teachers or school staff in Aug. Our contracts currently run from Aug until July, and we get paid all year. I don't know how I'll make it without an Aug check, and don't know how that will affect insurance coverage. But I really wouldn't mind a 3 month summer!

 

[ShootingStarMom2]

I will say, for you first time moms, don't make any plans for your next baby based on this one! All three of mine are so different!

Yes, yes, yes! My 2nd is completely different except for the fact that they are both boys.

What washer did you get? We were thinking of getting a new set but there are so many to pick from. I think I still like the top load just because I'm so used to it. Our laundry room is very small, more like a laundry closet really.

I just wanted to add to that you never know who's day you might be making with a smiley or comment about something going right for them. Even one person cheering you on can go a long way. So, thanks!

 

[harleyquinn]

I don't think I posted about that! I want to go for Christmas one year so bad! We get 2 wks, but break usually starts a day or 2 before Christmas. One day we are going to get a week off before, and I'll be on a plane! I took the older kids by myself for Thanksgiving week 2007. It was packed, but with TGM we did everything we wanted, and the Christmas stuff was beautiful! We left Thanksgiving day, and all the Epcot Christmas stuff started on that Fri, so we missed the Holidays around the World. It was COLD our first night (flew in the Fri before for MVMCP-so much fun!). We wore heavy jackets, gloves, and hats! A few days later the kids were in the pool! So you have to pack for all kinds of weather.

I may get August off this year. But without pay. The legislature is apparently considering balancing the budget by moving school from 1st week of Aug to after Labor Day. That way they won't have to pay any teachers or school staff in Aug. Our contracts currently run from Aug until July, and we get paid all year. I don't know how I'll make it without an Aug check, and don't know how that will affect insurance coverage. But I really wouldn't mind a 3 month summer!

Right now I'm leaning towards Christmas. I think Lily might enjoy it more at 17 months...or be a complete pain in the patootie

 

[december]

I just got a plain jane whirlpool. I looked at some of the fancy new ones, but I don't have a lot of room in the laundry room either. It was marked $555, but the guy let me have it for $485, tax and delivery included, and I barely got home before they showed up with it! Not bad.

 

[Rainydaze]

I'm sorry you guys. I totally don't mean to come across as a know it all, and I know that's how it sounds. I know none of you would ever do anything to harm your LOs!

I just see CIO being recommended so often without an explanation of what the technique actually is. I think CIO has become a catch phrase for letting your child cry at all and not running to them. That is not CIO. Letting them cry for a couple of minutes is not CIO. CIO is ignoring your instincts and forcing your child to scream (not whine, not just cry) so that they are forced to self soothe. The original method of Ferber's CIO was so harsh that he had to make new recommendations in new editions of his book. That's the CIO I'm talking about.

There are studies that show that Ferber's CIO is actually harmful. The CIO that Maggie and Patsy are talking about is not Ferber's CIO.

My original comment stemmed from Maggie saying that she did it with Jake at 4 months. I think that's too early for some babies...not all!! Even Ferber said not to try until 5 months. I should have said this then...every baby is different, and if Maggie felt comfortable doing whatever she did at that time, I know she did the right thing for her family, because it is her family.

My book comment was stupid...none of us has time to read a book...I was trying to say that I don't think that CIO should be recommended without telling the parent to seek more information. There's a bunch of sites on the Internet that explain CIO and other gentler techniques quickly.

I've been pressured by at least 5 people to try CIO. None of them explained exactly what it was, they basically said that you need to let them cry so they learn to go to sleep by themselves. There are sooo many variations of CIO. I have a friend who did it with her 6 week old and had to leave the house so she wouldn't hear her cry. And she read the book.

You know I love all of you and never meant to hurt anyone. I know we are doing the best we can.

Wow! I haven't checked this board in a few days and when I come back all hormones have broken loose!

Don't beat yourself up about the book comment. I totally understand what you are getting at. I have also felt pressured about CIO by many people. I go by what my pediatrician's office suggests. However, the DH and I have the finally say so and change what we deem appropriate to our baby.

Interestingly enough, my first posting on this board was about my son getting up 6 times a night. After he started taking solid foods he started sleeping better at night - only getting up twice. At his 6 month check up the nurse insisted that he not be fed at night because she said he didn't need it. However, the doctor told me not to feed him more than 4 oz at a time, anytime, because of his severe reflux issues and that that was the main reason he had trouble sleeping. I tried the nurse's advice and read the literature the doctor gave us and found that it is not specific to my son's problems. He still wakes up several times a night but put himself back to sleep. But twice a night he is hungry - roughly 4 -5 hours apart, so I do what I know is right for my baby. If he's been fed and is drowsy at nap time or bed time, I put him in his crib awake and then I walk out of the room and close the door and he goes to sleep!

Parenting is a tough issue! Most parents are sensitive to it. I don't give advice about it anymore because too many friends became very aggressive with me about parenting style/choices, even when I wasn't seeking or giving advice! I've actually lost friends over this because my friends became rude and inappropriate - going so far as to call me a bad parent!

I've found that when a person gives advice, they inadvertently alienate people. Most people already know what they want to do they are just seeking approval because they don't feel confident in their choice - probably because there is no absolute handbook on babies!

Ladies, my understanding of this board was that we are supposed to be uniting as mothers, not at each other's throats. It's all too easy to say things on the internet that we normally wouldn't say in person, which is a pro and con of discussion boards, and the written word is more easily misunderstood than the spoken word. This is not directed toward anyone specific - just an overall observation. I just want to keep the integrity of the "Newest Moms Hangout!"