The Nerve

[mom2rtk]

IDK, I can see whwre teens/tweens would want to watch what they want/when they want. Again, we are talking about a cheap service. If their parents are paying for the upgrade, then they won't have to juggle around OP's schedule. win/win

I think it would be wrong to reward her sneaky behavior in trying to change the password. The adults around her need to nip that in the bud now. I don't think the fact that it's an inexpensive service matters.

 

[Coonhound]

This wasn't a "gift" so you don't need to treat it like one. If it were a gift, you would give it with no strings attached and let her do what she pleased with it. But this was not a gift- this was you saying "hey kids, I got netflix and I usually only need one screen, so I'm going to let you kids use the other one when I don't need it!". They should have appreciated that their aunt is being a fun aunt by letting them use it sometimes when it isn't already in use.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Unelss you have partial custody of these kids, I am in the camp of not paying for their Netflix usage at all---let the parents handle that if they are good with the kids having that screen time.
If their parents would like them to have access but truly cannot afford it, that is another matter, but then I'd likely pay for Netflix for their household anyway (whatever number of screens you feel good with proivind the money for) and let the parents handle passwords, squabbles about them, etc. It is a nice gift and probably the most entertainment value for the money for an entire family that you can provide, but you are certainly not under any obligation to provide this.



On anotehr note, i had no idea you had to pay extra for added "screens" Hmmmm. Either that is different for Netflix Germany, or we are paying for it without my realizing it. Interesting.

 

[gotomu212]

Idk for $2 more a month I'd just pay and not get worked up trying to share 2 screens with 6 people. We have a common family password that everyone knows and don't bother changing it (I don't understand why your niece always has to text you to figure out the password??)

You obviously don't have to provide anything but it seems like a nice treat for an aunt to give when it costs so little.

 

[cabanafrau]

I personally would remove access all the way around. If the 18 year old absolutely needs a screen to entertain his kid there's PBS available over the airwaves for free.

 

[VandVsmama]

Change the password. Don't give them the new password. Explain to the niece(s)/nephew(s) AND their parents why you are no longer giving them the password. Tell them that their free use of the service is now no longer free and you will not be sharing your Netflix account anymore going forward. If they want to use Netflix, let their parents pay for it like they should have been all along.

 

[mom2rtk]

Idk for $2 more a month I'd just pay and not get worked up trying to share 2 screens with 6 people. We have a common family password that everyone knows and don't bother changing it (I don't understand why your niece always has to text you to figure out the password??)

You obviously don't have to provide anything but it seems like a nice treat for an aunt to give when it costs so little.

I might have agreed with that approach before the niece tried to reset my password to bypass the one limitation I had put on allowing them to share my account. Once that happened, she needs to find out that sort of behavior doesn't pay.

 

[wenrob]

If your niece is only texting you for the password, without saying "please" or "thank you" or a "Hi Auntie gopher!" I'd tell her to hit the bricks.

Yep. I chose other because I would change the password and explain to DN that since that's all I seem good for her privileges have been rescinded. I have this niece, I only hear from her around her birthday and Christmas cause Auntie writes a check. Well, Auntie stopped writing checks this past year.

 

[hereyago]

I personally would remove access all the way around. If the 18 year old absolutely needs a screen to entertain his kid there's PBS available over the airwaves for free.

Not to mention library, free books and movies, thrift stores cheap movies.

 

[cabanafrau]

Not to mention library, free movies, thrift stores cheap movies.

While at the library pick up an armful of books. Great father/child time and kids love stories!

 

[Suprize2017]

I would change the password, and let her know why. I would also bring up her manners regarding how she has approached you in the past. If no-one teaches her these things, or calls her out when she's rude, she will never learn.

Stinks for the siblings, but I think they all need to be cut off because of her actions.

 

[momz]

a couple of questions. Do your nieces and nephews know your rules? Do they understand that they are expected to say please and thank you? Do they understand that your texting rules are probably different than what they are used to? Most teens don't text in full sentences, let alone use a salutation.

Also, have you laid out specific limits on when they can use your Netflix account? Maybe they are thinking that it's there to be used whenever they want.

I would recommend that if it is really bothering you, then you should explain very clearly what your expectations are. THEN you can pull the plug if they don't follow your rules. But, until they understand what they rules are, they will learn nothing from losing this privilege.

 

[hereyago]

a couple of questions. Do your nieces and nephews know your rules? Do they understand that they are expected to say please and thank you? Do they understand that your texting rules are probably different than what they are used to? Most teens don't text in full sentences, let alone use a salutation.

Also, have you laid out specific limits on when they can use your Netflix account? Maybe they are thinking that it's there to be used whenever they want.

I would recommend that if it is really bothering you, then you should explain very clearly what your expectations are. THEN you can pull the plug if they don't follow your rules. But, until they understand what they rules are, they will learn nothing from losing this privilege.

Yea, once they try to reset a password none of the above really matters don't you think? OP stated that they know that only one person can watch at a time and they know if up is on holiday, it is out on black out.

 

[CarolAnn856]

You mentioned that your niece only texts you in relation to the Netflix account. I'm curious...how often do you text her just to say hi or ask how she's doing? When she does connect with you about Netflix, do you continue the conversation and ask what she's enjoyed watching lately?

Obviously she should know to say thank you, but your problem with her seems to go deeper. Teens often aren't very good at small talk especially with adults, so it's up to the adults in their lives to model it. If her parents aren't helping her learn proper communication, wouldn't it be better for her if you teach her instead of just cutting her access to the account?

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

This is just me personally but I wouldn't be giving out my password period and I mean from the beginning.

I would change the password, contact their parent/guardian (don't know the situation) to notify them that you've decided to re-evaluate the whole thing and be done with it.

My answer is the same before the whole attempt to change the password issue occurred. It sounded like a disaster waiting to happen..just takes one time where they want to use it while you're gone for there to be hurt feelings, arguments, tensions, etc.

I've had friends before share their passwords with their roommates, etc...it always ended badly with someone taking advantage of the other. Not saying that everyone out there is like that of course but it's a tricky situation to begin with.

 

[moon]

It depends on how you see it...

Personally, I think the particular strings attached rules you gave them were stupid and just asking for trouble. Either pay the extra 2 bucks so that's not a problem or don't give them the password to begin with. Do you seriously notify them every time of your vacation dates? Did it really not occur to you that this could happen? Teens probably know more about resetting passwords than most parents do.

You could get the parents involved, but y'know, if I was your sibling, I couldn't see bringing myself to care about the whole deal or any of the drama from it. I'm DOUBTING this is a money issue. I would bet that like to my parents, they don't consider Netflix a necessity. It's not. This is (because you haven't got parental authority over the kids) a gift. Punishing the teen's siblings is just going to look really petty to everyone concerned. "Change it and not tell her" is not an adult choice, and just asking for drama...so yeah, don't pick that one.

I'd cut the strings, pay for the extra screen, and call that their Christmas gift. That's...24 dollars a year, for presumably 4 gifts. Bargain. And probably something they'll use more than whatever you get them, because if this is really such a big deal to you, I'm doubting that you buy much for gifts anyway.

So, the niece gets rewarded for going behind her aunt's back and trying to reset the password?

 

[Westcoastwild]

So, the niece gets rewarded for going behind her aunt's back and trying to reset the password?

I don't see it as the niece gets rewarded. I see it as the younger kids don't get their "toy" taken away for something that they didn't do.

But I'm in Mackenzie's camp. It was always a disaster waiting to happen. And several parts of the OP's post indicate pettiness or drama on her part. We're talking about a Netflix account that she pays for but once she gives out passwords has no control over. Kids that she is related to but probably doesn't have any disciplinary power over. Parents who probably don't care because it's a netflix account that they don't see worth subscribing to in the first place. Either it's a gift that the kids can enjoy or it's something that has rules so it is a power play. If it's a gift, it's nice. If it's a power play, it's not so nice.

Or it occurred to me that the OP just didn't think it through. Rules you can't enforce are always a bad idea. So change password, tell the parents due to the teen's actions, they've all lost privileges. don't tell anyone the new one, not even the nephew (at 18, he can suck it up and pay for it out of his babysitting money) and for heavens sake, don't do anything like this again.

 

[hereyago]

[QUOTE="Westcoastwild, post: 57323020, member: 583155" (at 18, he can suck it up and pay for it out of his babysitting money) and for heavens sake, don't do anything like this again.[/QUOTE]

The 18 isn't babysitting, he has his own kid.

 

[here757]

We have the 2 screen option as well.
With our 3 iPhones. 3 iPads, 3 smart tvs and I dunno how many laptops we fight over the 2 logins. Hate when the kids have all screens tied up. End my rant lol
Being as she texted you.. and you reminded her of the blackout. Then you got the change password email. That shows lack of respect.
I'd change and give to no one.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I wouldn't put too much importance on wordy texts. (DS tells me I write "books" compared to kids today!) But niece should definitely be called out for trying to sneakily change the password! If it were just her, I would say to pull it now, but I hate to punish the others, so I would sit them all down, re-explain the intentions/rules, and tell them that if the privilege gets abused again, it will be cut off.

It seems like you meant to do a nice thing by sharing, but that it turned out to be a rather complicated system - where only one of them could be using it at a time, and not if you were on vacation, etc. If niece shapes up, I think I might do the $2 upgrade later - maybe at the end of the school year as a reward for good grades or something.