The Nerve

[Westcoastwild]

[QUOTE="Westcoastwild, post: 57323020, member: 583155" (at 18, he can suck it up and pay for it out of his babysitting money) and for heavens sake, don't do anything like this again.

The 18 isn't babysitting, he has his own kid.[/QUOTE]

Missed that. But then he definitely can buy his own subscription if he feels that it's necessary to entertain his kid.

 

[tarheelmjfan]

Maybe I'm a pushover, but I don't expect my nieces & nephews to address me, say please, thank you, etc. every text. The whole point of texting is to keep it short. They can ask me for anything, without making small talk. I would tell my niece I knew she tried to change the password & that was wrong. After that, I'd tell her she had to accept the fact that she couldn't always watch Netflix, then give her the password. Then again, I wouldn't constantly change my password, if I was sharing it with my family. I wouldn't want to go from the awesome aunt to one that everyone was mad at for a few dollars, but that's me. Honestly, to me that doesn't sound like odd behavior for a child that hasn't been given everything by Dad & Mom. It sounds like someone who knows her aunt is there to provide things Dad & Mom can't.

 

[ols386]

I think it would be wrong to reward her sneaky behavior in trying to change the password. The adults around her need to nip that in the bud now. I don't think the fact that it's an inexpensive service matters.

This.Right.Here.

 

[tcufrog]

a couple of questions. Do your nieces and nephews know your rules? Do they understand that they are expected to say please and thank you? Do they understand that your texting rules are probably different than what they are used to? Most teens don't text in full sentences, let alone use a salutation.

Where are their parents in all of this? If my kids were disrespectful towards their aunt they'd be a world of trouble.

 

[IMissEd]

Netflix is not a necessity....especially for kids. I really limit my 14 year old with Netflix because he gets carried away and forgets to do homework, etc... I also closely monitor what he watches. There is a lot of inappropriate stuff out there on Netflix. Anyway, I think I would change the password and either tell all of them or tell none of them.

 

[mummabear]

Okay, that would be a nope for me. If they can't ask nicely or act appreciative, I would not give her the new password. They are old enough to know better.

I would probably even say something in passing to her like, "Yeah it's so weird because I got an email that someone tried to reset my password on Netflix...." and see what she says.

I would go passive aggressive like this.
I would be direct, I would advise that I had changed the password because of the attempt to change it after people had been advised they couldn't use.
I would also consider saying something along the lines of "this hasn't worked in the way I invisioned, it isn't working for me and the above incident is the straw that broke the camels back.

 

[sunshinehighway]

It sounds like a situation that was set up to fail. While letting them use your account is a nice thing to do, it also sounds like it creates way more problems than it's worth. There are too many conditions on them using it.
I know people here like to take hard-line approaches and act all "oh how dare you", but the truth is a stupid Netflix account isn't worth fighting with family.
I would either take it away completely or upgrade so there's no more problems. Of course I would've upgraded before giving them the password to begin with though. I know it could've easily caused a headache in their household to have them all share the one screen and their parents not being able to control it the account.

 

[Poohlove]

Why would you subscribe to Netflix for your nieces and nephews anyway - if it is a gift then it is just that - would you tell them that they could only wear a sweater that you gave them on certain days? If you are sharing with them from time to time then she is quite the ungrateful little person and I would tell her that now none of them were able to use your Netflix account because she is ungrateful and sneaky. If she wants it that bad then she can talk to her parents and since it is only a few dollars a month perhaps she could do some chores, humbling I know, and pay for it herself.

 

[Poohlove]

Could their mother just send you $2/month to upgrade to the bigger package so this isn't an issue? Seems like such a hassle over a service that is $7.99-$11.99/month

If the daughter wants it that bad she should find the 7.99-11.99 to pay for her own subscription that her own parents could get for her. I would laugh at my sister if she tried to give me $2 a month toward the $10 that I pay extra for HBO so that when my 7yo niece comes over she can watch Crashbox. (HBO is rarely watched at my house unless my niece is over, they have had the same movies on since 1998)

 

[jo-jo]

I have a netlfix account. My DD has the password with the understanding what grandma wants, grandma gets. Her girls are 1,7,12 and 17. We have had no issues at all. The few times she or I were blocked, we called and figured out who was using what. It is possible my DH might be watching one show in family room and I'm watching a different show in kitchen on tablet, so I'm sure they may have encountered being blocked but it's their choice not to spend money on TV. The only have my netflix or any of the 17 million DVDs they have. They have no TV service with their internet. They are so busy with other activities, they rarely watch more than a few hours a week.


But getting back to OP........having someone try to hack the account would have been the last straw.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Why would you subscribe to Netflix for your nieces and nephews anyway - if it is a gift then it is just that - would you tell them that they could only wear a sweater that you gave them on certain days? If you are sharing with them from time to time then she is quite the ungrateful little person and I would tell her that now none of them were able to use your Netflix account because she is ungrateful and sneaky. If she wants it that bad then she can talk to her parents and since it is only a few dollars a month perhaps she could do some chores, humbling I know, and pay for it herself.

What nasty way to ruin ones relationship with their teenage niece. The op doesn't seem to actually know it was the niece who requested the password change.

 

[Poohlove]

What nasty way to ruin ones relationship with their teenage niece. The op doesn't seem to actually know it was the niece who requested the password change.

If this ruins the relationship than there are bigger issues in play. If it wasn't the niece than it was someone and obviously OP is struggling with what to do.

If I were in OP's situation I would be seriously pissed about how this all went down and access would come to an end immediately. In the beginning I would also have laid down the rules so that there was no question. This is symptomatic of society these days, people feel so entitled and everyone has to walk on eggshells because people are so delicate anymore.

 

[sunshinehighway]

If this ruins the relationship than there are bigger issues in play. If it wasn't the niece than it was someone and obviously OP is struggling with what to do.

If I were in OP's situation I would be seriously pissed about how this all went down and access would come to an end immediately. In the beginning I would also have laid down the rules so that there was no question. This is symptomatic of society these days, people feel so entitled and everyone has to walk on eggshells because people are so delicate anymore.

Telling a teenage you think she's a sneaky, ungrateful little person is certainly a way to ruin your relationship. It's not about people being so delicate. That's just not the way to speak to someone who you care about.
Of course the op is pissed. I probably would be too but as an adult, I'd first make sure it was her and then tell her why I was upset in an adult way. There's a big difference between walking on eggshells and telling someone (especially a child) that I think they are an ungrateful little person and sneaky.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

So I have Netflix. I got two screens but only watch one. I got the other for my nieces/nephews, with the understanding only one can watch at a time. Also when we go on vacation they are on blackout, because I need both (one screen for me and one for my younger sister). Well the only time my older niece texts me is some variation of this I need the Netflix password. No please, no thank you, no hi, no question, just statement. Well we are on vacation and she texts me I need the Netflix password on Friday. I told her it is blackout because we are on vacation and she has to wait till next week. No answer back. Come Monday I get an email from Netflix stating that a password reset has been requested. I am now very angry. Well now she is not going to get the password at all. I am changing it all together. In fact now the younger two will not get it either because they will tell her. The eldest nephew is going to get it because I trust him not to tell her, also I allow him to use it so her can entertain his kid. Rant Over.

What would be your solution if this happened to you?

Other....

Cancel Netflix altogether. Sign back up in the summer.

 

[WaltDisneyGirl84]

Nope sorry, we are becoming way too soft. People are so afraid to call people out these days its sad. I would talk with the parent of the nieces/nephews and explain your concerns and that you are doing this out of your own kindness, not to appease anyone.

Unfortunately, I fall in the millennial age bracket, but I do not agree with this entitled attitude millennials among others are acquiring. It makes me sick. How fortunate we are, how easy and fast we can get what we want when people in other countries struggle to get the basic necessities.

You don't need to call a teen, sneaky and conniving to convey that their actions were wrong. People are so afraid of having other peoples feelings hurt. Ugh, this thread is making my skin crawl.

Reiterate to the individual that you would appreciate some respect and will be happy to continue providing the service. Why is this so difficult?

 

[Poohlove]

Telling a teenage you think she's a sneaky, ungrateful little person is certainly a way to ruin your relationship. It's not about people being so delicate. That's just not the way to speak to someone who you care about.
Of course the op is pissed. I probably would be too but as an adult, I'd first make sure it was her and then tell her why I was upset in an adult way. There's a big difference between walking on eggshells and telling someone (especially a child) that I think they are an ungrateful little person and sneaky.

You clearly don't know me but I of course would not say those words but I would use unappreciated, disrespect, disappointed and abuse of privilege. How about how these actions changing the way the aunt sees the niece if in fact she did try and change the password and all that jazz.

 

[moon]

It sounds like a situation that was set up to fail. While letting them use your account is a nice thing to do, it also sounds like it creates way more problems than it's worth. There are too many conditions on them using it.
I know people here like to take hard-line approaches and act all "oh how dare you", but the truth is a stupid Netflix account isn't worth fighting with family.
I would either take it away completely or upgrade so there's no more problems. Of course I would've upgraded before giving them the password to begin with though. I know it could've easily caused a headache in their household to have them all share the one screen and their parents not being able to control it the account.

I don't think this is about a "stupid Netflix account". The problem here is the lack of respect from the niece. Hacking her account? I'm surprised to see so many here who don't see a problem with that.

 

[Westcoastwild]

I don't think this is about a "stupid Netflix account". The problem here is the lack of respect from the niece. Hacking her account? I'm surprised to see so many here who don't see a problem with that.

Oh, I see a problem with it. I just don't see the original plan as workable, and then changing the password without telling the teen or withdrawing (or not withdrawing) the access from the other kids based on who MIGHT tell the teen the new password is petty, unfair, and ridiculous. The OP is supposed to be the adult. I'm hoping she's pretty close to the 15 year old on age, because if it's a gap of decades, well, that would be embarrassing.

And meanwhile, I'm pretty sure the parents are like "we don't care if the kids have Netflix anyway, so no, we aren't going to get involved".

It's NETFLIX. Hacking the password is rude but it's not like the teen cost the OP any money whatsoever. The drama the OP is potentially going to cause is way out of proportion with the actual "crime".

 

[Pixiedustaway]

So I have Netflix. I got two screens but only watch one. I got the other for my nieces/nephews, with the understanding only one can watch at a time. Also when we go on vacation they are on blackout, because I need both (one screen for me and one for my younger sister). Well the only time my older niece texts me is some variation of this I need the Netflix password. No please, no thank you, no hi, no question, just statement. Well we are on vacation and she texts me I need the Netflix password on Friday. I told her it is blackout because we are on vacation and she has to wait till next week. No answer back. Come Monday I get an email from Netflix stating that a password reset has been requested. I am now very angry. Well now she is not going to get the password at all. I am changing it all together. In fact now the younger two will not get it either because they will tell her. The eldest nephew is going to get it because I trust him not to tell her, also I allow him to use it so her can entertain his kid. Rant Over.

What would be your solution if this happened to you?

Is there a reason you have the account for them?? That part I don't get. I would just change it and move on. There's no reason they can't subscribe themselves if the oldest is 18

 

[sunshinehighway]

You clearly don't know me but I of course would not say those words but I would use unappreciated, disrespect, disappointed and abuse of privilege. How about how these actions changing the way the aunt sees the niece if in fact she did try and change the password and all that jazz.

I'm just going by what you posted.