April 11, 2010
Day 1, Part 3 In Which We Finally Get TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Uh... Almost
Hm.. Where did we leave off? Ah yes. My mom and I were sitting at our gate enjoying(ish) a rousing breakfast that included Diet Coke and airplane pretzels.
Ah, vacation.
We boarded our second and FINAL plane at 8:50 AM. But didnt take off until about a week later.
This whole thing was kind of scary. My moms eyes got pretty big. And she kept saying to me What the *#(*@! is going on?
Like I knew.
My mom freaks out in this scenarios kind of easily. She is a bit of a worrier. In these situations we kind of switch roles in a way. I act like there is absolutely no problem and that I am not worried at all because I dont want to freak her out. When really
my mind wanders and Im thinking, Yeah, this plane is going to crash. But I didnt SAY that. To keep my moms sanity.
Basically what was happening was we were hearing a LOT of really strange noises. Bang. Clang. CRASH. Smash. Things like that. And during all this clang-smash action, there was a REALLY LOUD sound of something blowing. Like a huge gust of constant wind. Or something.
Someone came over the loudspeaker and told us that one of the people who has a Really Important Job and was supposed to be on this plane didnt show up, and they are waiting for their replacement to come in.
Well
okay. Odd, but it happens. People dont show up for work sometimes. Thats life. But they called this person something really official (that I of course cant remember) like First Officer or something. The whole thing was iffy.
Mom assumed the worst pretty quickly.
Oh my God, theyre lying. Everyones here. Thats just a story so people dont get scared and leave. Something is wrong with this plane. Something is wrong with this plane!!!
Youre crazy, I told her. They cant lie about things like that. Im pretty sure its against the law. Do you really think theyd risk a plane going down? No. They arent going to put us in the air unless they are sure everything will be fine.
I was lying
ish. Because I was actually thinking the exact same thing. Because usually when Im waiting for a plane to take off I hear ZERO clanging and crashing noises. However, there were quite a lot happening on this particular morning on this particular plane.
I really was close to getting the eff off that tin can coffin.
I thought of telling everyone there was something wrong with the planes left phalange so we all could get off. I told you
every scenario in life can relate back to Friends.
I refrained. From THAT. And just waited. My breathing got a bit heavy. My moms eyes got even BIGGER. I read about diet tips in my O Magazine.
And then
just like that. The noise stopped. Whatever person was supposed to come on the plane to replace the other guy had arrived. Apparently. Great! Lets get GOING!! When (if) this sucker lands, Ill be at DISNEY WORLD!!! My home! So lets GO!!!!
We took off. It was again, uneventful. Thank God. Nothing happened. No more bangcrashclanging went on. My moms eyes returned to their normal size. My breathing regulated. It was all good. In the hood.
THE HOOD BEING ORLANDO, NERDS! CAUSE WE WERE FINALLY THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
So.. We flew US Airways. I thought the planes were a bit shabby(ish) looking. I added the ish, because
who am I to say the planes looked shabby? Honestly. We landed, right? Im alive? Someone at the airport asked how my flight was, and I replied, Any flight that lands is a good flight. He replied, Amen! So really
Im not complaining about US Airways. I could have done without the bangcrashbanging though. Bigtime.
I think my favorite air carrier is Delta. They have colorful leather seats in coach and a wide selection of movies. Of course they cost $9.99 each but they have free music which is cool. I like Continental too but they pick the movie. Its free, but what if it sucks? You cant just cancel and throw another $10 out the window. Like I said, none of this matters REALLY. I just want to land. Thanks.
Land we did. At last.
Ohhhhhhhhhhh, the Orlando Airport. I LOVE MCO. I would have taken pictures but I was too busy skipping to the Disneyish monorail and then RUNNING to baggage claim whilst singing a little song. A couple of forest animals came out of nowhere to sing with me. Oh, it was just too fun.
Then I recall some waiting. My mom went outside to call/text people who love us and tell them we were alive. The bags took FOREVER to come out and it made me wish I had booked Magical Express. Until I saw the longLONGLGONGIGNIGNKDNKDNGLONG longest line I HAVE EVER SEEN. For anything. It was almost comical, this line. If I didnt feel so horrible for all the families having a not-so-magical time, I would have laughed.
We finally got our bags with no problemo. Headed past the Line From Hades, and to Hertz Rent-A-Car.
As Beyonce would say, this was a disastuh.
We always use Hertz when we travel because we know someone at Hertz. We get an amazing deal every single time.
I checked the Hertz rates online before we left just for the heck of it, so I could see how much we were saving by using our discount. For our whole trip, if we had booked just like everyone else, it would have been about $220. I checked other companies like Budget (got a discount code from the DIS), Alamo, etc. All of the rates were around $220-$250.
My mom went up to the counter while I sat on my suitcase, hummed a merry tune, and played with the squirrels, groundhogs, doves, chipmunks, and bunnies that had gathered. I was on another planet at this point. Being at Disney World, for me, is like entering a parallel universe of magic. Literally. I have enough of an imagination that I can let go of everything and let Disney take over. And we was almost there. SO CLOSE!
I overheard my moms convo with the Hertz lady. Hertz Lady was super super nice and complimented my mom on basically every article of clothing and accessory she had on. Told her about people she knew from New Jersey. Asked if we were going to Disney. That sort of thing.
My mom asked her to enter the reservation number that our friend at Hertz had written on his business card. Hertz Lady told her all she needed was her name. Ok then.
I heard my mom say no, no, NO, NO and Noooooooo. A million times. When Hertz Lady offered all that extra stuff they offer that costs a fortune.
You really should get this. Everyone gets this. Its not that much more, really. Its important. You should get it, everyone gets it.
No thank you, my mom said.
You should think about upgrading--
No thank you, my mom said. Just the standard will be fine.
Yes, but you two girls are out to have FUN! I can tell. Two girls drivin around Florida in a convertible, carefree! What do you think? Its really not that much more.
No thank you, my mom said. Again.
This took awhile. I appreciate all of your offers, my mom said, but we do not want anything extra. Thanks.
I get it. I know that if you dont sell a certain amount of crap your boss is annoyed with you. But she was kind of going overboard. I wondered how many people were worn down from travel enough to just say OK fine!! Add the convertible! so they could get out of there.
She finally came up with the total for our standard car with NO extra features, NO convertible, NO pre-paid gas, NO cleaning service, NO butler, NO magician in the back performing tricks, and
WHOA. What?
$330. Was the total, she siad.
In my head I was all RUH-ROH. Scooby Doo/Liz Lemon style. Cause I KNEW that ish wasnt accurate. The quote on the website was $220. And we are supposed to get a BIG discount. We always do. I'm not saying I feel entitled to get a better price than the general public AKA people who do not know anyone who works for Hertz. But
it should NOT be over a hundred dollars more than the regular rate I got on the site. This lady was trying to play us. Big time. I was so not having that. You are not going to take money away from us that could be spent on Mickey rice-krispie treats and Dole Whips.
Also, she said she was going to charge $530 in total to my mom's credit card just as a deposit. And when we returned the car, the balance would be returned. Uh, what? Is that normal? How much do people usually pay for this?
My mom said, I think theres been a mistake here. I'm going to just call my husband quickly and get this sorted out.
Hertz Lady said, It's actually a REALLY reasonable rate. In a tone I did not care for.
You do not mess with my Momma. Hertz Lady. Excuse ME.
So I went up to the desk. Told her, very sweetly, to puhlease enter THE NUMBER ON THE BACK OF THE CARD. Because I knew that as soon as my mom reached my dad he was going to say, Well, did she enter the number on the back of the card? Hertz Lady said, again, in a tone I did not care for
, that she already did. I said I know that you didn'tt. I have been right over there the whole time. And just because I was singing classic Disney tunes with a bunch of forest animals does not mean that I was not paying attention. You entered our name. Not the reservation number. Please enter the number on the back of this card.
She literally refused to enter that number. Because why would she? It's only her job and all. She INSISTED. That the number would pull up the EXACT SAME reservation she had with our name on it.
I said, sweet as pie, Maybe that's true. Can you just show me that? Can you just type in the number and show me the exact same reservation, then?
Apparently not. And apparently there was no manager. On hand. That we could speak to.
My mom got off the phone with my dad. Whaddaya know? He said that the woman has to enter the reservation number. On the back of the card.
I was too happy to turn this into an ordeal. I wasnt going to start a huge thing with Hertz Lady and demand to see other Hertz Ladies or even Hertz Men or Hertz Bosses. Like I care. I was 20 miles from Disney Heaven. I didnt want to get into the whole thing with these people. I didnt want to go over all the costs that made up the $330 and find out what the Hertz Lady was charging us that we didnt ask for.
We just wanted to see this:
So we went outside and got a cab. Where, again
we ran into a mishap. Something happened to my mom. That was stressful at the time but also HILARIOUS. She laughs about it now.
Thanks for reading this ridiculousness everyone!!
