First let me say that your little doggie has a very appropriate name! Paris Hairless Hilton definitely leads the life of an heiress.

If other dogs read this, you are going to have them lined up outside your door to live with you!
Maybe you should do what my aunt did for her dog. She had this old dog who had been a stray and I've never seen such a loved dog. She would buy those roasted chickens like thy sell at Sam's, only she bought hers at a little store near her house where they cost twice as much. She always had 2 - one for now and one on hand for later - God forbid they should run out of roasted chicken! That's all she fed her dog. I don't think I ever saw her actually cooking for her doggie, though.
Well, to look at the bright side, at least you didn't burn down your house! It's scary to think how easy it is to do things like that. I fell asleep one time with eggs boiling, and I don't know what woke me up, but it could have been a disaster. The bad thing was that it was when we were trying to sell our house, and I spent beaucoup money on products to get the burn smell out of my house.

It could have caused us to not be able to sell it, but at least I didn't burn it down! Sometimes when I'm walking at the mall, I'll pass by Bath & Body works and they'll have this room freshener smell that brings back those memories. I can still smell that sickly perfumy smell. Ugh.
So does your husband do a lot of cooking for the 2 of you, or is it mostly General Mills and Kellogg's?

It is hard to cook for 2, and sometimes costs more than some take-out. My DH and I can share a footlong Subway, and that's just $5.00. You can hardly cook for that little. I did cook a big pot of spaghetti last night, which he will probably be sick of before it's over.
I think you can keep your Wonder Woman underwear.

Your talents just might not be in the kitchen, but so what if you're not Martha Stewart?