DIS Dads The Dis Dad's Club II

[Captain_Oblivious]

We have talked about adoption in front of the kids no specifics really though. Lauren does not have a grasp on anything yet and Ethan I think is taking it in and processing it. He has asked questions about where he was born and if we were with him when he was born. I told him that we were there from the moment he entered this world. I don't know how or when to begin the discussions of what adoption is. (If you have any helpful insight that would be great). Ethan was born on Dec 21 and we were able to leave the hospital with him on Christmas Eve (the best Christmas gift ever). We did not think lightning would strike twice and we wanted another child but did not think we could take the financial hit again so soon. Wife and I decided that if it was meant for us to have another one someone would approach us. I knew the chances of that were slim to none. 1 week later we received a call from a family member friend in IL about a family who was pregnant wand wanted to put the baby up for adoption and they wondered if we would want to adopt again. We immediately said yes. Then wife was questioning if we had made the right decision. She prayed for God to send her a sign and asked that if it was meant to be for the baby to be born near Christmas and then she would know. We received a call about 2 weeks later and the birthmom had an ultrasound and showed it was going to be a little girl and the due date was Dec 25...hello...it does not get much plainer than that. Christmas miracle number 2! She was actually born on Dec 11 and we were there for her also right from the beginning.

Amazing how things fall into place when they're meant to be. God works in mysterious (yet very cool) ways. What a cool story.

 

[dvczerfs]

Old guys with young kids RULE

My wife and I blew the curve at our hospital when my son was born....

I was 34 and she was 32---but where we live tends to have a "younger" new parent population...and there was no one over 22 in the Maternity Ward with us (even though it was full--I mean, packed to the gills, no extra room, get out early full)...

They made us stay the full 48 hours, but no one told us why...but I figured it was for several reasons..

Funny thing was, we never called the nurses, they always came to check on us (you keep the little ones with you at our hospital, unless you request for them to be sent t the nursery--we didn't, we kept him with us--I stayed on a pull out chair).....our nurse told us we were the only one's not to call every half our..

We figured that once we left we were on our own, so we may as well figure it out now....

I will say there was a lot of drama going on in that hall...I'm guessing some of those new moms had no idea what they were getting into

ha fed fuzz, being a dad is great and i love it. i just dont think i could watch barney again for the next 6 years.i could handle eveything but that purple dino!!

 

[GoHerd1028]

wow, you guys are special people! have you figured out what days your going to be in oct.? or are you just wingin it yet?

Our flight gets in on 10/1...I am sure on the 2nd we will hit the parks running ha ha ha. With small kids I think we are gonna take a rest day between long park days...I dont want to wear them down too early in the trip ha ha ha. So, I guess we are just going to wing it and make the schedule up as we go...I am using Tour Guide MIke as a reference on crowded parks....We will be there unil 10/11. What about you guys? It would be cool to run into each other one day.

 

[GoHerd1028]

ha fed fuzz, being a dad is great and i love it. i just dont think i could watch barney again for the next 6 years.i could handle eveything but that purple dino!!

Taht purple Dino is old school LOL...For us it has been Blues Clues and Handy Manny. We are starting to move into the Imagination Movers now ha ha.

 

[FreezinRafiki]

We have talked about adoption in front of the kids no specifics really though. Lauren does not have a grasp on anything yet and Ethan I think is taking it in and processing it. He has asked questions about where he was born and if we were with him when he was born. I told him that we were there from the moment he entered this world. I don't know how or when to begin the discussions of what adoption is. (If you have any helpful insight that would be great).

I'm not sure what I will say will be of any help, mostly because our situation of the mixed race adoption. We knew it would only be a matter of time before she realized that none of her friend's parents had different skin tone than their kids. Or for that matter, she had different skin than her brother. So we decided to be "open" about it from the time she was very little.
I had made video slide show of her first year that she would watch over and over when she was two and three years old. There were several pictures of us with the judge on adoption day. She would ask who that was and what was going on. We told her that the judge said that we belong to her and she belongs to us. We also have all sorts of kids books on adoption that we read to her. A few that I can remember off the top of my head are:

• "Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born" (http://www.amazon.com/Tell-Again-About-Night-Born/dp/006024528X)
• "My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You" (http://www.amazon.com/Adopted-Child-Theres-Birth-Order/dp/0800718895/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b) This one tells the story of a panda cub adopted by brown bears - really fits our family quite well
• "Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children" (http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Fingerprints-Amazing-Discovery-Children/dp/0972624430) This is one of her favorites and would fit with a same-race adoptive family.

But like I said, we've been discussing adoption for quite a while so she really grew up with it.
Not too long ago, she learned (as all kids do) how to push our buttons when she was upset and wanted to get us upset, too. She would talk about wanting to go live with her birth mom. It's quite a shock to hear a 4 year old say that. After everyone calmed down, we talked to her about it and told that if she lived there - among other things - that she wouldn't have been to Disney World 5 times before her 5th birthday.

You've got quite a unique and wonderful family - God sure has blessed you. If you have any questions or ever need to vent (trust me, you will) just post it here or PM me. My wife is a child social worker, so she has some good training and insight into child development. I can bounce questions off of her, too.

 

[dvczerfs]

Taht purple Dino is old school LOL...For us it has been Blues Clues and Handy Manny. We are starting to move into the Imagination Movers now ha ha.

just poppin thru the chanels i still catch barney on pbs. blues clues were around and bob the builder but never herd of handy manny. the only thing we had was sesame street and mr. rogers and good old cartoons when we were kids. i dont think i ever missed an epis. of speed racer. or emergency was another good one

 

[vladimir10]

Taht purple Dino is old school LOL...For us it has been Blues Clues and Handy Manny. We are starting to move into the Imagination Movers now ha ha.

Same here. My son is so into Playhouse Disney shows. Hoping to see some of the characters at DW when we go.

Oddly enough, he likes old school cartoons, too. He loves to watch Tom and Jerry, and I got the Underdog Cartoon DVDs, and he loves to watch those! Classics never go out of style!

 

[GoHerd1028]

I'm not sure what I will say will be of any help, mostly because our situation of the mixed race adoption. We knew it would only be a matter of time before she realized that none of her friend's parents had different skin tone than their kids. Or for that matter, she had different skin than her brother. So we decided to be "open" about it from the time she was very little.
I had made video slide show of her first year that she would watch over and over when she was two and three years old. There were several pictures of us with the judge on adoption day. She would ask who that was and what was going on. We told her that the judge said that we belong to her and she belongs to us. We also have all sorts of kids books on adoption that we read to her. A few that I can remember off the top of my head are:

• "Tell Me Again About the Night I was Born" (http://www.amazon.com/Tell-Again-About-Night-Born/dp/006024528X)
• "My Adopted Child, There's No One Like You" (http://www.amazon.com/Adopted-Child-Theres-Birth-Order/dp/0800718895/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b) This one tells the story of a panda cub adopted by brown bears - really fits our family quite well
• "Forever Fingerprints: An Amazing Discovery for Adopted Children" (http://www.amazon.com/Forever-Fingerprints-Amazing-Discovery-Children/dp/0972624430) This is one of her favorites and would fit with a same-race adoptive family.

But like I said, we've been discussing adoption for quite a while so she really grew up with it.
Not too long ago, she learned (as all kids do) how to push our buttons when she was upset and wanted to get us upset, too. She would talk about wanting to go live with her birth mom. It's quite a shock to hear a 4 year old say that. After everyone calmed down, we talked to her about it and told that if she lived there - among other things - that she wouldn't have been to Disney World 5 times before her 5th birthday.

You've got quite a unique and wonderful family - God sure has blessed you. If you have any questions or ever need to vent (trust me, you will) just post it here or PM me. My wife is a child social worker, so she has some good training and insight into child development. I can bounce questions off of her, too.

I really appreciate your suggestions. IT is nice to have you as a source to come to when there is a question or situation I am not sure how to handle. I am going to check into the books you listed. I think they would be great to have around to read and start working into things. I know the day is coming when they break my heart by saying something about going to live with their "real" parents when they dont get their way. I think that is just part of the kid in them and finding a way to push your buttons. Ethan realizes that he was born in NY and Lauren was born in IL and Mommy was born in OH and Daddy was born in WV so he knows and understands that none of us were born in the same place. We have pictures also of "forever Day" as we call it when the judge signed the final adoption decrees. If you are on facebook you can pull up my page and see the pictures of the kids. I swear I just dont know how anyone could ever abort a child...I know there are situations where you cant raise a child but there are families out there begging for children to give a loving home to.

 

[DisneyFed]

Old guy with kids....I resemble that remarkLOL

Disney Fed...you talked about drama...well let me tell you I think I can top what you saw...our kids are both adopted....and we were at the hospital when both of them were born...our daughter was born to an older birthmom and it was a very pleasant experience for us all..she and her boyfriend were actors and singers on broadway (starving artists) and could not take care of themselves let alone a small child...very sad...The drama this time came when it was time to turn our son over to us and she looked at him for the last time. It was the most emotional thing I have ever seen and I made the mistake of looking at her as she looked at him for the final time and I will never forget the look of heartache in her face. She knew what she had to do and left us a letter to give him to tell him she loved him so much that she made this choice so he could be something in life that she could not offer.

The second time we adopted I thought ok..we have done this before and it will be ok...heck now ...the girl was young and knew she wanted to put the child up for adoption so she could go to school but Grandma was putting the pressure on hard. After the baby was born...she put on an Academy Award winning performance in the hallway with the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth...I was sick cause I knew it was going to fall through...but the girl remained firm in her decision. Grandma even got the bracelet that was intended for my wife and put it on and we had to get a court order to get my wife one...luckily the Dr who delivered our daughter was an adoptive parent herself and told the CEO of the hospital that they better make this situation right quickly...after the dust settled...we ended up getting our own room on the labaour and delivery floor for the rest of the stay...we just had to put up with Grandma comning in to take pictures all the time because she still had that darn bracelet on her arm....

Sorry I rambled on and this probably does not make sense...but...I have several gray hairs because of all the drama ha ha.

Keep your head down and stay safe over there buddy!!! Still looking forward to seeing pictures when you get time.

Steve

Oh man, I cannot even IMAGINE...I just could not even IMAGINE....it must be gut wrenching...

Any of my issues PALE in comparison....

Daddy-O...glad it went Ok with your dad...we have you "on the list" out here!

OH, and that Purple Dinosaur...no no no no no...there will be no Purple Dinosaur. I'm too well armed--the TV would not survive the encounter

Edited to add: My son LOVES the Imagination movers..the boy loves to dance and jump

 

[GoHerd1028]

Same here. My son is so into Playhouse Disney shows. Hoping to see some of the characters at DW when we go.

Oddly enough, he likes old school cartoons, too. He loves to watch Tom and Jerry, and I got the Underdog Cartoon DVDs, and he loves to watch those! Classics never go out of style!

Make sure you take him to the Playhouse Disney show at DHS and he will love it. All those characters are in the show.

 

[GoHerd1028]

just poppin thru the chanels i still catch barney on pbs. blues clues were around and bob the builder but never herd of handy manny. the only thing we had was sesame street and mr. rogers and good old cartoons when we were kids. i dont think i ever missed an epis. of speed racer. or emergency was another good one

Oh the Good ole days of cartoons! I like Ermergency also...it was one of my favorites back then. and Adam -12 ha ha

 

[FreezinRafiki]

I really appreciate your suggestions. IT is nice to have you as a source to come to when there is a question or situation I am not sure how to handle. I am going to check into the books you listed. I think they would be great to have around to read and start working into things. I know the day is coming when they break my heart by saying something about going to live with their "real" parents when they dont get their way. I think that is just part of the kid in them and finding a way to push your buttons. Ethan realizes that he was born in NY and Lauren was born in IL and Mommy was born in OH and Daddy was born in WV so he knows and understands that none of us were born in the same place. We have pictures also of "forever Day" as we call it when the judge signed the final adoption decrees. If you are on facebook you can pull up my page and see the pictures of the kids. I swear I just dont know how anyone could ever abort a child...I know there are situations where you cant raise a child but there are families out there begging for children to give a loving home to.

OK, there are 223 Steve Wileys on Facebook.
Look me up at www.facebook.com/barrry.sommer and Friend me from there. That invitation is open to all DisDads on Facebook.

 

[lessernobleman]

Amazing how things fall into place when they're meant to be. God works in mysterious (yet very cool) ways. What a cool story.

Hear hear!!! Sitting here reading GoHerd's story, getting choked up a little...

Our story isn't quite as dramatic, it's just long... Hope you don't mind if I share... This is the Readers Digest version.

Four of our five are adopted. My wife and I were told we would be unable to conceive (my guys were too few and too lazy,) so we decided to look into adoption and ended up doing foster care. One day we get a call for a 8 day old baby girl and instantly fell in love with her. Come to find out she had two sisters already in foster care. Well, after a long and tedious (and emotional) process, we were able to finalize the adoption in February 2004. In June that same year a 12 yr old girl was placed with us. She was freed for adoption in January 2005, but she didn't want to be adopted out and chose to remain with us in foster care. In March of that same year we found out my wife was pregnant. I never really thought of myself as very athletic, but I guess I must have slipped one past the goalie. Caden was born in December '05. (My vascectomy was in January '06.) We also decided later to adopt Ariella, and after two years of red tape and legal hassles (the county screwed up,) we finalized her adoption in March of this year. Whew!

 

[FreezinRafiki]

just poppin thru the chanels i still catch barney on pbs. blues clues were around and bob the builder but never herd of handy manny. the only thing we had was sesame street and mr. rogers and good old cartoons when we were kids. i dont think i ever missed an epis. of speed racer. or emergency was another good one

Heck, I'm 30 and I like Handy Manny. You can even meet him and get an autograph just outside and the the right of Playhouse Disney.
Speed Racer and Emergency were before my time - I grew up with He-Man and Thundercats.
And don't believe what you hear on the Internets about Mr. Rogers being a Marine. It's an Urban Legend. Dr. Ruth, however, was an Israeli Sniper. http://www.snopes.com/medical/doctor/drruth.asp I don't see a smiley for that...

 

[GoHerd1028]

OK, there are 223 Steve Wileys on Facebook.
Look me up at www.facebook.com/barrry.sommer and Friend me from there. That invitation is open to all DisDads on Facebook.

I had no idea that Steve Wiley was such a popular name ha ha ha. I think I sent a friend request to the correct Barry Sommer ha ha...A lot of cool dues out there

For the record... if any of you DisDads go to Facebook I am www.facebook.com/steve.wiley3 or GoHerd1028@gmail.com should get me too on there...great to hear from any and all of you!

 

[GoHerd1028]

Hear hear!!! Sitting here reading GoHerd's story, getting choked up a little...

Our story isn't quite as dramatic, it's just long... Hope you don't mind if I share... This is the Readers Digest version.

Four of our five are adopted. My wife and I were told we would be unable to conceive (my guys were too few and too lazy,) so we decided to look into adoption and ended up doing foster care. One day we get a call for a 8 day old baby girl and instantly fell in love with her. Come to find out she had two sisters already in foster care. Well, after a long and tedious (and emotional) process, we were able to finalize the adoption in February 2004. In June that same year a 12 yr old girl was placed with us. She was freed for adoption in January 2005, but she didn't want to be adopted out and chose to remain with us in foster care. In March of that same year we found out my wife was pregnant. I never really thought of myself as very athletic, but I guess I must have slipped one past the goalie. Caden was born in December '05. (My vascectomy was in January '06.) We also decided later to adopt Ariella, and after two years of red tape and legal hassles (the county screwed up,) we finalized her adoption in March of this year. Whew!

I am glad you shared your story with us. I LOVE to hear about the adoption process that others have gone though. I feel like as adoptive parents we are all bonded together in something special. The process is a roller coaster of emotions that you can not even begin to put into words, but the end result is fantastic!

 

[zuperdaave]

Hey Guys,

Let me start by saying thanks to all of you that send your goods thoughts, prayers and well wishes. It was a long and exhausting day, my Dad made it out of surgery and woke up and had all the tubes taken out and recoginzed all of us. He is talking (a little confused still mind you) and even got to his feet last night. We did not get results from the tumor yet but this is a huge first step in a process that will take months (if not longer) to get over. I'm hopeful that all will go well today and we get some more good news. I will be in and out of work and the hospital today and will try and keep you guys updated.

Again thanks for the support, I don't think you all realize how much it helped yesterday when sitting in the hospital thinking that we were in your prayers.

I had a lot of time to think over things yesterday and just want to say keep all that you love close and remember how precious life and family are.

Thanks

EXCELLENT news. We're very happy for you. Thanks for sharing...

 

[dvczerfs]

Old Guys With Little Kids Rule.....Those are the words I will be saying to myself in five years and I am 45 taking the newest one to kindergarten. I can hear it now from the little kids.....Wow your grandfather is old....

Five months and the newest Disney Fan will be here!!!

ha kevin! i just seen the best t-shirt. it had a beagle dog on it,running w/its ears up and eyes wide open and the shirt said hide your beagle, vics an eagle! here we go already, it didnt take long.

 

[GoHerd1028]

Old Guys With Little Kids Rule.....Those are the words I will be saying to myself in five years and I am 45 taking the newest one to kindergarten. I can hear it now from the little kids.....Wow your grandfather is old....

Five months and the newest Disney Fan will be here!!!

This reminded me of a time that we were checking out at Wal Mart and the girl looked at us and said "how nice...you have your grandkids out today! .: I ' thinking...God Don't let Shari kill this woman here and get sent to jail leaving me to be a single parent! I just smiled politley...and I could see wife was biting her tongue

Congratulations on the new arrival coming soon!

 

[trennr]

ha kevin! i just seen the best t-shirt. it had a beagle dog on it,running w/its ears up and eyes wide open and the shirt said hide your beagle, vics an eagle! here we go already, it didnt take long.

My son "tiny" is an Eagles fan.

I watched Vick's 60 Minutes interview...Vick seemed remorsful (more than the sorry I got caught I was expecting)...and didn't blame anybody but himself...lesson learned...give him another shot...kuddos to the Eagles. Should give defenses Nightmares when he and McNabb are both on the field.

Funny shirt though!