The Bachelor-Brad Womack Take 2--Monday, Jan. 3 NO SPOILERS!

[kimmar067]

...jes' figg-urd I'd ask...

 

[Imzadi]

I'm watching Criminal Minds, and one of the profilers said:


I have experience with narcissists. I dated a few.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

The show is extremely edited to show us what they wanted us to see. Who knows how much Emily talked about her fiance. That was the angle they wanted to play up. Sure, it was an important part of who she is, as is her daughter, but of course Brad also saw much more of her than just that.

 

[Dee77]

Does anyone else think that if the family dates were reversed, he may have chosen Chantal?

Also, Chantal was on Regis and Kelly Tuesday AM and she mentioned that she went home back in November. I believe that since then, each and every week as the show was airing, Brad (IMHO) convinced himself that he had "chosen" Emily earlier than he really did as a move to appease Emily's concerns that were brought to the surface with watching the show. It's like when someone tells a lie often enough, they begin to believe it. I think this is in line with Chantal asking him when exactly did he decide that Emily was "the one" because she knows that his words and actions while in S Africa, Anguilla etc contradicts that.

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Wow, you guys are good!!

I'm late chiming in with my thoughts about Monday night. I always thought Chantal would be the one. Like some of you have said, that seemed like a "real" relationship. With Emily, Brad looks so uncomfortable. She's the unattainable dream, while Chantal is real life. And I also think I remember him saying he couldn't wait to ask her to marry him.

But Emily did show more personality in her one hour on ATFR than on the whole season prior to that. They did seem much more compatible on ATFR than previously to me, even with the comments about his temper, etc. And Emily made me chuckle when she said if she'd got to go on those zip-line, swim with sharks, etc, dates, "I'd be fun, too!" I wondered why Emily's dates were always so mellow. Who chooses who goes on what date? Did Brad think Emily was too fragile for some of the fun things he did with Chantal?

Yup, and his brothers/SILs. I thought it was awful when the SILs were talking about Emily fitting in better because she already had a child. This wasn't about finding a friend for you to socialize with over a playdate, this was supposed to be about Brad finding a wife. Not that Brad is any prize, but geeze, think about what's best for him, not what's best for you!

Yup! I forgot about the SILs choosing playdates! I remember thinking, "he's not choosing your new BFF"

Just when I think I have spent way too much energy on these two and I am done, you gals suck me back in. . . Really fantastic insights here.

I just saw a clip of them on ET, and last nite I thought she was being quite the southern belle. But, yes, "Princess" fits, too.

Great insight about her identity as a tragic figure and the emotional patterns she keeps replaying about it.

I wondered too, where her family was. After the plane crash and finding out she was pregnant, she didn't move home to be with her mother. (At least not that we know of.) I would have, if I was 18 and pregnant, alone. She stayed in Charlotte and is near her would-have-been in-laws.





What an absolutely awesome insight!



Dang! I didn't pay enough attention to Brad during his family's visit. Someone else made a comment too about what Brad's brother said to him and how he reacted.

It's so cool to hear what you guys saw that I missed.




He always kept saying to Chantal, or about her, that he feels most himself with her. That he could just relax and just be with her.

With Emily, he talks about how she makes him a better person.

Again, that wound about not being enough. Dang! I forgot how his family would also play a key part in his woundedness about not being enough. I knew he had father issues, but I didn't pay attention to the rest of the family dynamic. He also picked Emily to measure up for his family. . . Wow! Just wow!

Of course.

The family wounds always bleed the most. Sometimes they are holes that can never be filled. People will twist themselves inside out just to fill them. The need for family approval and to be thought of as enough by them is one of the basic core level issues.

That's too bad. He fits so much better with Chantal. I don't think she would have pushed his temper button the way Emily does. She would have tried to give him what he wants.


I love these TV threads. It's so cool to share what we all bring to the table. Even opposing views make me think, "I didn't see it that way, but I can see now how someone else would get that."

I keep thinking I'll stop reading, too, but I can't!

Thanks for the It means alot coming from an expert like you. It is so sad, really - to see these broken people coming on the show, actually believing they will find meaningful relationships, but they repeat the same patterns.

It should be a different kind of reality show.

....bottom line: He didn't pick Chantal because he didn't want someone who could KICK HIS *SS....

I'm watching Criminal Minds, and one of the profilers said:


I have experience with narcissists. I dated a few.

Timely!

Does anyone else think that if the family dates were reversed, he may have chosen Chantal?

Also, Chantal was on Regis and Kelly Tuesday AM and she mentioned that she went home back in November. I believe that since then, each and every week as the show was airing, Brad (IMHO) convinced himself that he had "chosen" Emily earlier than he really did as a move to appease Emily's concerns that were brought to the surface with watching the show. It's like when someone tells a lie often enough, they begin to believe it. I think this is in line with Chantal asking him when exactly did he decide that Emily was "the one" because she knows that his words and actions while in S Africa, Anguilla etc contradicts that.

I was wondering if he remembers he was even IN the show we watched

 

[kimmar067]

...ask his therapist...

 

[DonDraper]

Don: Dig a little deeper, man. There's a lot more involved in this than just a boy/girl connection. They BOTH have issues, and a "reality" TV show just blew them out of proportion. NO WOMAN mentions a temper unless it's a true issue. A temper is not just a disagreement or a misunderstanding, not even just an argument. A TEMPER, as she pointed out, is an rage problem. And no matter who "poked" the bear, it's the responsibilty of the "bear" to control his actions. That's what an adult does.

I think I've dug deep enough considering that we have no facts on the situation other than a he said/she said situation. I understand almost all the posters on this thread are women so its understandable that you'll stand by a single mother, reasonable. But I'm not willing to throw Brad to the sharks just because things are tough between them at the moment.

I've already said this a bunch of times but on the show Emily told Brad she was ready to get married and that she would move to Austin. She's done neither. So if Brad is angry about that, I'm with him because I would be extremely upset as well.

 

[shortbun]

I think I've dug deep enough considering that we have no facts on the situation other than a he said/she said situation. I understand almost all the posters on this thread are women so its understandable that you'll stand by a single mother, reasonable. But I'm not willing to throw Brad to the sharks just because things are tough between them at the moment.

I've already said this a bunch of times but on the show Emily told Brad she was ready to get married and that she would move to Austin. She's done neither. So if Brad is angry about that, I'm with him because I would be extremely upset as well.

We know you would. Well, thank goodness Emily doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to do. I'd be really suprised if she goes anywhere near that creep again. He flatlined through the whole show-both times. Now we ALL know why-at least we women do. We've seen it before and most of us know to stay away from men like him.

 

[robinb]

I've already said this a bunch of times but on the show Emily told Brad she was ready to get married and that she would move to Austin. She's done neither. So if Brad is angry about that, I'm with him because I would be extremely upset as well.

Of course he's upset. Who wouldn't be? But I think that Emily's refusal to move to Austin and/or get married is a symptom of a deeper, more basic problem between them. FWIW, I do feel sorry for him despite his issues. One of the reasons I watch the show is because I am an incurable romantic. The other is that I love a good train wreck .

 

[happygirl]

There is video and photos of them shopping in Austin out and about, maybe she changed her mnd

 

[kimmar067]

I think I've dug deep enough considering that we have no facts on the situation other than a he said/she said situation. I understand almost all the posters on this thread are women so its understandable that you'll stand by a single mother, reasonable. But I'm not willing to throw Brad to the sharks just because things are tough between them at the moment.

I've already said this a bunch of times but on the show Emily told Brad she was ready to get married and that she would move to Austin. She's done neither. So if Brad is angry about that, I'm with him because I would be extremely upset as well.

...I agree with you.

 

[Imzadi]

Thanks for the It means alot coming from an expert like you.

No expert! More like a work in progress. As we all are. You said it correctly, the stuff we do is self development. That happens all through our lives. I just have a different skill set. I get coaching and tweaking from time to time for my own stuff from fellow colleagues, as they bring in different insights and perceptions. Like what we all did here.

I think I heard that too. And all the comments about chemistry and how much fun she is. If he truly wants to go on all those adventures, why did he pick Emily? He caved in to what is mother wanted.

Yup! I forgot about the SILs choosing playdates! I remember thinking, "he's not choosing your new BFF"

It's been bugging me for the past week, professionally & personally, how I could have missed seeing this.

Now, I know I wasn't really watching it to really analyze Brad, the show was just fun for me, but I'm surprised I missed such a crucial element. If I was working with a client and I missed such a big element, it would have come up in subsequent testing. That something was off. Some component still missing. Then we could do some tweaking or added more processes to factor in what we missed, until there is solid congruency - when all elements in this matter fall into a natural healthy alignment, centeredness, expansion, solidness & peace. Further testing wouldn't be able to knock him out of it, as it comes from within.

Finally, I remembered when they showed Brad's family coming through all the foliage, and Brad got all emotional, I thought, "Brad & the whole family have been through this before already during the last show. Brad's just play-acting for the show to show how special, and wonderful and sparky his family is. " Right there is where I drove into a ditch, as I wasn't really paying attention after that, to what are now, in retrospect

quite obvious signs. Duh! He has a twin. He even is in business with his two brothers. Of course, family is everything to him.

When Brad started crying, saying it meant so much to him that his whole family had gone to such extremes, as traveling to So. Africa for him, that right there is the crux for him. He really meant it. He really, Really, REALLY meant it. For them to have done that for him proved he was that lovable to do that for. His core level wound.

Poor Brad. Something deep definitely happened to him. Probably around two or three years old, as that's also when temper tantrums develop. Maybe he was just unwieldy and too hard to control during tantrums in comparison to his twin, (who doesn't seem to have lovableness problems as he's apparently in a healthy marriage.) They withdrew during those times. Somehow, Brad internalized and incorrectly interpreted their response into thinking and believing he's unlovable. He's been bleeding to win their love ever since, and to fit in.

In some ways, all his life, he has probably been waving his arms around, jumping up & down, to get his family's attention, to prove he's lovable. "See Mom, 25 - no, 50 women think I'm lovable. Some of them will even do extreme stunts to win me, I must be lovable enough for them to do that.

Then, when the Uptown Girl, unattainable dream prize says she wants him and he brings her home and they not only love her, but feel she will so fit in with them, the play-dates, etc, even having the same long, straight, platinum blonde hair as his twin's wife, what could be better.

This is also why he NEEDS to move Emily into Austin as soon as possible - fit her into the family & playdates etc. It can't be slow, and on her & Ricki's time frame, he needs it now. The wound is still bleeding.

And even though he got along with Chantal better, perhaps he feared his family's disapproval or withdrawal of their love, if he chose her over their choice.

Yeah, we didn't even need to see the prior weeks. His family picked his woman.

Does anyone else think that if the family dates were reversed, he may have chosen Chantal?

No, I doubt it. Their remarks may have even been worse for Chantal to hear afterward, while watching the show. Ouch!

It's kind of like, if you've ever seen that show, Say Yes To The Dress, where they pick out a wedding dress. Sometimes a bride just HAS to try on that beautiful, couture, designer, hand-stitched, hand beaded and embroidered, dream gown that is made with luscious taffeta and real silk, when she really can only afford a polyester, off the rack wedding dress.

The sales people always warn her she's going to be in trouble after, as she really shouldn't be trying on those gowns she can't get. But she just HAS too. Sure enough, once she tries on one of them, she is so dejected about what she can afford. She leaves without picking any gown because they just pale in comparison. She would have been absolutely fine if she hadn't tried on the other dress.

Likewise, if Brad only brought home Chantal, they would have been very happy with her.

There is video and photos of them shopping in Austin out and about, maybe she changed her mind

Maybe they had a chance to go to dinner with Trista & Ryan and get some really great advice to work them through having a real relationship beyond the show.

 

[happygirl]

Did anyone read the people magazine where they are on the cover. It seems like they are really trying to make it work.


They asked if they wanted kids, and Brad said yes they are working on that LOL

 

[fkj2]

I thought for a while that Brad and Emily had a special connection. That said, the show is The Bachelor and he and the other women were contractually obligated to investigate who he was most compatible with. Emily knew that when she agreed to do the show.

Does Brad has issues to resolve? Yes. Does Emily have some ownership in the conflict between them? Yes.

She enjoyed her time with Brad but she'd never commit to introducing him to the daughter--not for the longest time. I don't blame her for that but nothing would be clearer to me than, "I'm not willing to take the chance and have you meet her." I got the message: She wasn't willing to take the step.

Why WOULD he invest everything when Emily kept putting up that wall?

Really, I do hope they work it out. They are an attractive couple and I think they do like one another. It's now time for the hard part of any relationship, accepting the day-to-day challenges of life.

 

[joviroxx]

You guys all figured these people out with this completely editted tv show? I think we saw what the producers wanted us to see and the reality of what each of these people's life is, is only known to them. I am entertained by these shows but in no way do I make an evaluation based on a tv show. Who knows what the deal is... who knows who the real Brad or Emily is. Only thing I know is that I DON"T know LOL...

 

[kimmar067]

You guys all figured these people out with this completely editted tv show? I think we saw what the producers wanted us to see and the reality of what each of these people's life is, is only known to them. I am entertained by these shows but in no way do I make an evaluation based on a tv show. Who knows what the deal is... who knows who the real Brad or Emily is. Only thing I know is that I DON"T know LOL...

 

[Imzadi]

You guys all figured these people out with this completely editted tv show? I think we saw what the producers wanted us to see and the reality of what each of these people's life is, is only known to them. I am entertained by these shows but in no way do I make an evaluation based on a tv show. Who knows what the deal is... who knows who the real Brad or Emily is. Only thing I know is that I DON"T know LOL...

Well, I hope we ALL are entertained by these reality TV shows or what's the point in watching these trainwrecks and to have threads, if not to discuss together what we've observed and heard and think of these people?

This isn't like watching Charlie Sheen which has the potential of turning into a real tragedy. If these people are going to put themselves out there on national TV for entertainment, yes, we are going to have fun discussing them. I think the majority of us know there is more than what is shown. Even with editing, for those who know how to look, people leak who they really are all the time. When people recognize the patterns, that's the fun of these shows. In case you haven't realized, reality TV shows are more about the personalities & behaviors than about the competitions.

Like Dionne is turning out to be a real diva b**** on the Celebrity Apprentice, Richard Blais seems to be getting snarkier with each episode of Top Chef, and who'da think Kirstie Alley would be so surprisingly kick ***? And will it last?

Maybe the OP should put a disclaimer in the OP: "Any opinions, thoughts, ideas, assessments or evaluations expressed by posters are purely for entertainment purposes only."

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Well, it looks like Brad and Emily are over. Shocker.

http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2011/..._maynard_and_brad_womack_reportedly_split.php

 

[MAGICFOR2]

Shoot! I was embroidering pillowcases for them!

 

[3prettyprincesses]

Shoot! I was embroidering pillowcases for them!

Oh ya, me too! Didn't see this one coming at all... I thought it was pretty obvious on the After The Rose segment that things weren't looking too bright for the happy couple.