Taking your kids' friends

[rentayenta]

My oldest DD is wanting to bring her buddy with us on one of our Disneyland DVC trips next year. We adore this child, great mom, good kid, all is well in that department. My questions surround the finances of the trip.......If we invite her, what should we pay for? Obviously the room and transportation will be taken care of. We own DVC and will drive from Utah to So Cal, staying the night in Vegas to and from.

I was thinking that we would also pay for all her food, extra entertainment, and they provide her park hoppers and any souvenir money?


My guess is there isn't any set protocol. If we were home and it were as simple as going the movies, of course I'd pay for it all but with something this big, I am not sure. Obviously her mom and I will talk lots before it's official but I'd like to know what you all would or have offered.

 

[backyardponder]

We did something similar over spring break this year, but we went to Vero Beach, so there weren't any park tickets to worry about. We took our granddaughter and one of her friends. We flew from Chicago to Orlando and rented a car.

The friends' family isn't that well off financially...lots of young kids, etc. We picked up the tab for the whole thing, including airfare (good fare on SW, luckily).

My suggestion is to sit down with the parents well before the girls get wind of the possibility of going with you. Approach it as you'd like to take the girl with you and would like to if the parents could cover the following costs, and have them listed.

If everything is set with the parents, then let your daughter invite her friend. Make sure you are specific with who the friend is so the wrong person isn't invited.

We did the whole thing as a Christmas present to our granddaughter. It was one of the Disney folders they give at check in, with lots of information inside. I put together a sheet, burried in with the paper, which said "You can invite xxx to go with you". The look on her face when she found this was priceless.

Good Luck.

 

[rentayenta]

We did something similar over spring break this year, but we went to Vero Beach, so there weren't any park tickets to worry about. We took our granddaughter and one of her friends. We flew from Chicago to Orlando and rented a car.

The friends' family isn't that well off financially...lots of young kids, etc. We picked up the tab for the whole thing, including airfare (good fare on SW, luckily).

My suggestion is to sit down with the parents well before the girls get wind of the possibility of going with you. Approach it as you'd like to take the girl with you and would like to if the parents could cover the following costs, and have them listed.

If everything is set with the parents, then let your daughter invite her friend. Make sure you are specific with who the friend is so the wrong person isn't invited.

We did the whole thing as a Christmas present to our granddaughter. It was one of the Disney folders they give at check in, with lots of information inside. I put together a sheet, burried in with the paper, which said "You can invite xxx to go with you". The look on her face when she found this was priceless.

Good Luck.

For sure the mom and I will have a thorough conversation regarding the costs of the trip. Fortunately, we have a very healthy relationship with this family so I am not too worried about having a frank conversation regarding cost- I just am not sure what to pay for.


What a wonderful gift you gave. I bet your granddaughter and her friend were elated.

 

[DenLo]

If the friend is there to keep your daughter happy, then perhaps you should consider paying for everything except any souvenirs she purchases. It's not like the girls parents approached you to see if their DD could go with you. Your DD brought up she wanted her BF to go with her.

Now if I were the parents of the BF then I would offer to pay for her share. Then you could graciously say you'll pay for her room, the ticket price costs this much and we spend so much in dollars for food per child per day.

However, I do like the suggestion backyardponder posted, about getting together with the parents and telling them how you'd like to but need help financially in order to do so.

I do have one hesitation about the whole thing. Traveling by car with an extra child for 3 or 4 days sounds a little scary to me. If the BF has not been away from her parents for a lot of days before there is no telling how she'll react. Twelve is still pretty young.

 

[natt]

I do have one hesitation about the whole thing. Traveling by car with an extra child for 3 or 4 days sounds a little scary to me. If the BF has not been away from her parents for a lot of days before there is no telling how she'll react. Twelve is still pretty young.

We had that exact experience on our trip to wdw in '08. My daugher (then 13) brought a friend. We flew and her dad just matched her flights with ours, then he wrote us a check for her PH. She did have some issues with homesickness and we found early in the stay that she was not conditioned for the July heat, as well as our touring pace and she really slowed us down. Even my daughter was annoyed that we were always waiting for her to bring up the rear.. but as soon as we returned to the villa, she was the first to get to the elevator
She even suggested on our last day that we just stay at the resort and we replied with "Well, your dad paid for a 5day ph.. I think we should use it!" Then she seemed to 'get it'. That trip does not rank as one of our best to Disney.

I don't mean to discourage bringing friends and I hope my daughter can find someone to bring for our HHI stay. I'm just alerting that even if you think you know a friend from school/sleepovers, it IS different living with another family for several days and seeing a different level of interaction and things could get 'strained' at times.

Good Luck!

 

[Pakey]

When DS was younger, we always invited a friend to vacation with us. We paid for everything except for the friend's personal spending money. I could not have imagined saying "we'd love for Johnnny to join us but only if you pay for a, b, and c."

 

[Rocket]

You invited her, so need to expect to pay for every thing, including a souvenir. Basically you need to treat her like your own child. If the other parent offers to pay, or asks what the arraignments will be you can discuss it. But if the other parent doesn't bring it up then consider it a gift from you to her.

 

[cj9200]

We have gone with DD’s friend twice now. The first time, I asked the friend’s mother if it was OK and her first question was how much will it cost? They do a lot of stuff with my daughter so the only thing she needed was spending money. Asking for ticket media is fair but I would work it all out before the friend is invited.

Having a friend on the trip changes the dynamics. We had a fun time but it was different. Next one is a trip with 5 other friends for DD’s 16th birthday. Heaven help me.

 

[dallasdisneymommy]

You invited her, so need to expect to pay for every thing, including a souvenir. Basically you need to treat her like your own child. If the other parent offers to pay, or asks what the arraignments will be you can discuss it. But if the other parent doesn't bring it up then consider it a gift from you to her.

I agree -- this is how I would approach it.

 

[VallCopen]

We have taken several of our daughters friends on different Disney vacations and have always paid for everything except spending money on any extras like a shirt or stuffed toy. We have always felt that if we invite them that it is our responsiblity to pay, the family didn't ask us to take them. Good luck and have fun.

 

[rentayenta]

If the friend is there to keep your daughter happy, then perhaps you should consider paying for everything except any souvenirs she purchases. It's not like the girls parents approached you to see if their DD could go with you. Your DD brought up she wanted her BF to go with her.

Now if I were the parents of the BF then I would offer to pay for her share. Then you could graciously say you'll pay for her room, the ticket price costs this much and we spend so much in dollars for food per child per day.

However, I do like the suggestion backyardponder posted, about getting together with the parents and telling them how you'd like to but need help financially in order to do so.

I do have one hesitation about the whole thing. Traveling by car with an extra child for 3 or 4 days sounds a little scary to me. If the BF has not been away from her parents for a lot of days before there is no telling how she'll react. Twelve is still pretty young.

She isn't going to keep my daughter happy. That's dang funny. The girls will be almost 14 by the time we take this trip and this child's folks are divorced so she is well equipped with coping skills as far as being away from home. Thanks for the additional insights but I would like to keep this on topic with regard to what to pay for.


I know this mother will offer to pay for everything which I would never allow.

When DS was younger, we always invited a friend to vacation with us. We paid for everything except for the friend's personal spending money. I could not have imagined saying "we'd love for Johnnny to join us but only if you pay for a, b, and c."

You invited her, so need to expect to pay for every thing, including a souvenir. Basically you need to treat her like your own child. If the other parent offers to pay, or asks what the arraignments will be you can discuss it. But if the other parent doesn't bring it up then consider it a gift from you to her.

We have taken several of our daughters friends on different Disney vacations and have always paid for everything except spending money on any extras like a shirt or stuffed toy. We have always felt that if we invite them that it is our responsiblity to pay, the family didn't ask us to take them. Good luck and have fun.

Thanks for the insights! This is what DH was thinking too. Glad he's right about something.

 

[FreeTime]

My DH and I actually had this conversation today. We discussed that in a couple of years we would let our DD's invite a friend. I said that we would need to pay for the tickets and everything else. He said no way. If we are paying for the room and the food and to get them there they should be able to pay the money for the tickets. I disagreed. So he said they would never get to take anyone!

 

[cvjw]

We've taken my DS's best friend with us a couple of times, at age 7 and at age 9. We pay for everything but his park ticket. He always brings some extra spending money along, but we buy extra stuff for him too. It has worked out well for us. If for some reason his parents couldn't buy him a Disney ticket, we would've gladly purchased it for him so he could join us.

 

[JimMIA]

I'm sure there is no formula, and the responses you get are going to be all over the place and most will not be relevant to your situation.

I think the key is, you have a very good relationship with this family and both of you are going to do what's right. I'd just sit down with the other Mom and say, "Look, we'd like for Suzy to come to Disney with us next time. What do you think?"

I'm sure the other Mom will give you a good sense of what she'd pay for, which will be more than you're expecting and some of which (lodging, transporation, etc) will be unnecessary.

I think the other Mom can give you much better advice in this case than we can. What we think doesn't matter. What matters is that the arrangements are right for you and her.

 

[tinkerfan1]

We are wanting to bring a couple friends of our kids on an upcoming trip. My DS told them all they'd need to pay for is tickets. What I would LIKE to do is pay for their food (Dining plan) and their tickets and just have them pay for anything extra that they want to spend. Like you, we have the DVC so the hotel will be covered. I need to come up with some extra money between now and then but I'm just counting on faith to come through with that...

 

[Deb & Bill]

Kids that we invite are our guests - we provide the transportation, tickets, lodging and meals. We only ask their parents to provide spending money.

 

[disneygal55]

We brought my son's friend 2 years ago and this summer my two sons brought their girlfriends (all college age). Both times we supplied the lodging and food. They had to pick up the plane tickets and park tickets. Their parents were happy that their kids could experience the trips and realized that we were using double our points (with having to get an extra studio for a week's stay), getting 2 cash rooms for Friday and Saturday nights...instead of one... and buying the extra meals for a week. The important thing is to bring the financial stuff up right away so people can make plans. The kids had a great time by the way. We're planning another trip (with an extra friend or two) this June!

 

[Sammie]

With us it depends on their age. If old enough to go out on their own to parks we did not provide spending money for meals when they were not with us.

Other than that we paid for everything.

 

[toniosmom]

I have invited my 18yo niece and her friend for a week-long trip next March. I have provided lodging and food. They are paying for their own airfare and park tickets, plus any spending money. We are planning to cook in the villa the entire week, so any meals they eat at the parks is their own responsibility. My guess is that they will be on their own a lot -- they will likely be nightowls, taking advantage of EMH, while we will be doing the parks in the morning and spending the rest of the day at the resort/pool.

Now, if the kids were younger, say grammar school age, I would try to pick up the cost of the park ticket and/or plane ticket (if I could afford it). Neither ticket is cheap, to say the least.

 

[rentayenta]

I was orginally thinking everything but admission and souvenirs but DH said everything but souvenirs. Seems to be a tie.

The girls are in Jr. High. and will be almost 14 at the time of travel.