Taking son out of high school for a week of vacation?

[charmed59]

If he’s really into performances he might want to check the spring performance schedule before you commit. I know our school tended to ramp up performances in the spring, and he might end up missing performances he practiced all school year for.

 

[DisneyJamieCA]

We never tracked out kids absences, nor did we take them out of school for vacations. So we were surprised when our son graduated from High School when they honored the students who never missed a day in 4 years. It is on his permanent record.
I think for me the lesson of the past 18 months with the pandemic is that things like vacations can wait.

It’s interesting that was your take away because mine was the exact opposite. My take away was live life while you can because life can be short. A lot of our planned vacations changed, but we still did ones that were safe.

Right now, I feel like I have so much living to make up for, especially with my kids.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

8 weeks off in the summer (all of June and July). 1 week off in September. 1 week off for Thanksgiving. 2 weeks off around Christmas. 1 week off in February. 1 week + 1 day off in April. All of the smaller holidays had Friday/Monday off (i.e. MLK weekend we got the Friday before off), which gave families even longer extended weekends to choose from as well. That's a lot of options. Plus, many schools on traditional schedules sometimes don't give an entire week off for Thanksgiving and only 10 days around Christmas time, so our holiday breaks were longer than some (not all, but many).

No system is perfect, but I truly believe the one I experienced in this prior job gave the vast majority of people as many options as possible. If they can't vacation during the holidays, there are options both inside and outside of the traditional summer break. Can only vacation during the holidays? Here they are, often times better than what other schools offered.

From a philisophical standpoint, I also believed more frequent breaks and a shorter summer helped with retention and caused less burn out among teachers and students alike.

That was a tad different than I was picturing though that could have just been my way of interpreting what you were saying. I don't see that much different than the more traditional route if the weeks off generally were around the times you spoke of and it's more just adding time (for the most part at least) to existing days off but removing those days from summer. That would benefit the parents who were already going to take off (or could take off) around that time period and instead of their student missing a day or a few with the break being considered longer that wouldn't have to happen, but it wouldn't necessarily benefit the parents who were not or could not take the time off themselves.

I think where I was thinking of was considering my parents employment and those of my friends when I was in school. It really didn't matter if they added a few days onto Christmas break for example if their employer didn't allow time off around that time because it was around Christmas (or Thanksgiving). At least from my experience from a vacational standpoint a traditional summer allowed for the greatest of opportunities because of the length. Usually school ended by Memorial Day (usually a few days before and only going after if excess snow days were needed and hours or minutes were added to days to compensate for that) and started about mid-August (or a few days prior) so in terms of occupations that allowed for the greatest of flexibility for parents who has all that time to choose from. That's more or less what I was meaning about it depending on the parents and eventually the student's occupation. When I was a student and worked it was retail. Back to School was Black Out dates, so was Thanksgiving, so was Christmas. Basically August was out for vacation, November and December as well. My mom growing up worked 2 jobs often (1 full time in corporate 1 part time in retail). While she could take time off from her corporate around Christmas that was because she had been working for the company for decades (she left after 39 years last year) and had built up seniority but she was unable to take off from her retail although she did get lucky and didn't have to work Thanksgiving or Christmas for her personally.

But from your point about frequent breaks and shorter summers it's not as unpopular of viewpoint these days as more studies have been done regarding information retention from students although that is never about vacation time but rather the educational consideration of the students which is the primary reason for schooling

 

[tinyrip]

I wonder if there are schools out there that request documentation.

I was employed with a company that allowed 5 days of bereavement for each qualifying persons (meaning your grandmother but it also included my husband's grandmother and so on). The days didn't have to be consecutive either (because dealing with things after a death don't follow a consecutive schedule often). However it was up to each supervisor's discretion if they requested proof. You couldn't be denied the time off but failure to provide proof if asked mean that time off may not be counted towards your bereavement and instead may count towards your PTO and if you didn't have enough PTO it would be unpaid. While I was employed there I had 2 separate situations in which I took bereavement. One was for my husband's great grandmother out of town (no proof was requested from that particular supervisor) the other for my husband's grandmother in town (proof was requested from that particular supervisor at that time).

There's times where you can skirt around rules but generally speaking death is one of those that is usually considered morally repugnant to use to skirt around rules (a general statement not meant as a personal statement)..watching survivor and talking on that thread about it anyone remember Johnny Fairplay's ploy and how people reacted? In any case you can always make a case for minor aged individual vs adult decisions but you'd probably want to make it clear in the world out there while you may not turn into a pathological liar (which to be fair not sure that was implied you would be) you'd want to be careful for your usage of using death as a way out of something.

I utilized pathological liar since in the post i was replying to they seemed to be implying that by telling kids to lie they would somehow turn into a horrible individual. That may be my reading to much into it. My school corporation required no proof of her death. I guess they assumed that a parent would not lie about such a thing. times have changed they may require proof since then. On a side note as an adult I've never had to use death as an excuse.
At my job i have the ability to make a decision on when I get my time off work, not something that was planned for me.

 

[tvguy]

It’s interesting that was your take away because mine was the exact opposite. My take away was live life while you can because life can be short. A lot of our planned vacations changed, but we still did ones that were safe.

Right now, I feel like I have so much living to make up for, especially with my kids.

Well, we certainly have different opinions based on different experiences. A co-worker lost 6 family members because they took what they felt were safe trips. Life IS short. They will never seen their family again.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Well, we certainly have different opinions based on different experiences. A co-worker lost 6 family members because they took what they felt were safe trips. Life IS short. They will never seen their family again.

Six family members is awful.

But now, thank goodness for the vaccine that we currently all have access to here in The States.

Take that vacation! Life is short.

 

[mrs. magoo]

As a high school teacher I am going to say that he needs both of those classes to graduate. If he has A's for the first 3 marking periods he can fail the 4th marking period and still pass but many seniors have a serious case of Senioritis already. He needs to make sure he will do the make up work and graduate.

As for trips my kids still come with us on all our trips. My children are 24, 22, 20, and 18 and they come on our trips with us. They fly from different airports but they are still there.

 

[Karin1984]

Use the pandemic to your advantage, just say he got Covid or was exposed to Covid. Should get you plenty of time off without penalty.

Only if the son is a good liar and can keep that lie up for the rest of the year(s) at this school.
It would mean he cannot talk about his trip at school with his friends, because the chances of a teacher overhearing it.

I have no kids and no idea how schools work in the US. Would you have to show a negative test result when you got infected, or exposed?

 

[spiders]

I too work a difficult schedule of nights, weekends and holidays. I bid vacation a year in advance and of course everyone wants spring break off. We vacation on my schedule and that’s the end of the story. I already miss enough time with my kids and I don’t need anyone’s permission to go on vacation.

 

[ML_LovesDisney]

DS is a senior, graduating in May. We let our kids choose our vacation destination their last year of high school. We would like to have his sister join us as I expect it will be out last trip with all of us together.

the problem is that we are having difficulty reconciling our schedules. I work in healthcare and am prohibited from taking time over the holidays. Daughter’s college spring break does not match son’s high school spring break. Son is leaving immediately after commencement to work at a camp/conference center all summer.

this leaves our only option being to take him out of school for a week during her spring break. Now…let me say, he is not in any AP classes. In fact the only classes he’s in that are necessary to graduate are English 12 and Econ. He has completed all other credits. So he fills out his schedule with three band classes, a piano class and a study hall. So honestly, it’s not like he would miss any critical instruction.

my question…can anyone share their experience dealing with the high school concerning time off for vacation? I expect to get a LOT of push back from the school. But honestly…our experience with this school is not so good overall. I feel like the school thinks they own my kid in that the parent does not have the final say on so many things that directly affect our children. And I don’t feel like the control the school has on our schedule is paid back in value as regards the quality of education they have given my kids. (But that’s a whole separate conversation).

anyway…taking a kid out for vacation…tell me… what works?

I feel like if your kid is okay with it and you're okay with it, it's fine. He is your kid. For my kids, I can't pull them out because they get too stressed out trying to make up the work. If that is not your kid, I say go for it! Family vacations are the best

 

[RedAngie]

A vacation by any other name is still a vacation. Call it what you will, but almost everybody will see right thru it.

 

[tvguy]

Six family members is awful.

But now, thank goodness for the vaccine that we currently all have access to here in The States.

Take that vacation! Life is short.

Three of them were vaccinated. Proceed with caution.

 

[Pink Partridge]

Three of them were vaccinated. Proceed with caution.

So very sad (and quite scary!) that 3 vaccinated people from the same family died from Covid. I am assuming they had comorbidities and took great chances by vacationing.

Statistically, we should feel safe going on vacation, or to the grocery store, or to school (imagine teachers in front of 30+ students a day while indoors), etc. if we are vaccinated.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

At my job i have the ability to make a decision on when I get my time off work, not something that was planned for me.

Which is why companies have built in part of their benefits bereavement leave. Not every company offers that. When they do however inappropriate usage of it is an abuse of a benefit whether the company takes a hard stance on consequences of an abuse is variable. My husband has a very flexible time off (which usually was starkly contrasted to me) but his company also has 5 days of bereavement leave available. If you're going to say great-grandmother died so you'll be using your bereavement leave you should probably not fib on that one. To do so may depending on the company result in termination (probably depends on past employee behavior) removal of the time being paid under bereavement, action plan, etc.

More or less I was just getting at death is one of those things one should be careful with how they use it in several ways. A student in k-12 may not see potential consequences generally through no fault of their own for not seeing it.

 

[Donald13]

We are taking. Both kids out of school in a few weeks. Will just call and say they are out. We don’t plan on taking any other time. I’ve heard the school may have an issue but I’m still going to take them out. They need a break just like we do

 

[DVC-Don]

We took our two kids out of school every year for a WDW vacation in January all through elementary school. Once they hit high school we stopped that as too much of a hassle to deal with 5 or 6 teachers than 1 in elementary. That plus the district would not send assignments or allow make up tests for what was termed "illegal absence" . So we then went in late August for the high school years.

 

[HeatherC]

Go on vacation. They will just mark him absent. As long as he isn’t over on number of absences or in danger of failing a class, go. It is senior year of high school….seriously. Life is too short and at the end of the day you will remember those memories, not the fact that he didn’t miss class for a few days.

 

[Colleen27]

It is really hard to get good advice about this from a message board because so much comes down to school, district, and state policies on absences.

In the district I live in, it is easy enough. There's a form parents have to fill out that the student then takes to his teachers for their signatures, and the pre-planned absences are considered excused. Teachers are expected to provide the work that will be missed whenever it is reasonable to do so, and most that we dealt with are good about providing at least the broad strokes so some can be done in advance or while traveling. But this is a district that is conscious of the issues parents have with aligning vacation time with school schedules because we have a lot of seasonal workers (construction and agriculture) in our community, so the vacation policy is pretty permissive (and that is one of the reasons we chose to live where we do). The district I grew up in had a much, much stricter policy, to the point where students with serious or chronic health issues often had to appeal to the school board for an exception to the automatic loss of credit. A week's vacation would mean failing the semester, because vacation absences were not considered excused and 5 unexcused absences was an automatic loss of credit regardless of academic performance.

I also agree with the posters who have mentioned talking to your son about it. The last semester of senior year is often a blow-off academically (except AP classes) but is full of all sorts of official and unofficial social elements that he might not want to miss. My youngest is in 8th grade and asked me to hold off on planning anything for DD20's college break until she knows what the second semester looks like re: 8th grade trip, the middle school "send off" dance and the high school "non-prom" (which next year's freshmen are invited to), the honors breakfast, etc. She doesn't want to miss any of the special days with the kids she's been with since pre-school for a family vacation, and I don't blame her. So even though she goes to a private school and missing class isn't a problem at all, there might be other reasons to stay home. Depending on how your son's school handles the senior festivities, the same might be true for him.

 

[Brian Noble]

I expect it will be out last trip with all of us together.

It's possible you've already taken that trip. That's a sad thing when it happens, but you might be there already.

We are in a somewhat similar situation but four years ahead of you. My son is in his last year at Michigan, and my daughter is a grad student at Wisconsin. We planned to do a Big Trip (tm) for each kid when they graduated from college.

My daughter's Big Trip was going to be Japan: Kyoto, Tokyo, and TDL. That was planned for mid-May 2020. As Lee Corso would say: Not so fast. That one got cancelled, along with a bunch of other trips. We thought we'd finally be able to get the four of us together for an extended trip to Hawaii this past summer, and had planned for all four of us to go. Our daughter was offered a teaching position which she thought was too good to turn down, so she ended up not joining the other three of us.

We are hoping to get the four of us together next summer. We have tentatively planned Spain for my son's Big Trip, but that might keep us at three again based on my daughter's summer schedule. The good news is that her potential summer "conflict" is an extended trip for her research to South Africa. If that happens, we will probably do something that has the four of us going to that neck of the woods either before or after the period she needs to be there anyway.

We also got the four of us together just last weekend, for the Michigan @ Wisconsin game. (She's a Michigan grad, so there was no threat of a split household for rooting interests.) This wasn't a Big Trip---just a simple weekend, one state over---but it was great opportunity for the four of us to spend a little time together, and very welcome.

All that to say: maybe it's best if you take this trip with your son during his Spring Break, knowing that this time your daughter can't come. That's disappointing for sure--I can tell you we were very disappointed that E could not join us in Hawaii this summer. But, if you keep an eye out for other opportunities for the four of you to do things together, I bet you will find them. You might have to be a little more opportunistic, but that's okay and sometimes can lead you to places you'd not otherwise go.

 

[mefordis]

I'd do it but first talk to all of the teachers and make sure he won't be penalized for it.