Taking son out of high school for a week of vacation?

[ShayBells]

Every person is different and every school is different, every district is different, everyone is taking different courses with different reasons for those courses. It's why some like you can take off and get straight As even 15 years ago and yet someone else even back then may not have the same result.

Oh I definitely agree with you maybe I should have said it should be up to parent AND the student and if it works for them and their situation. I just don’t think it should be up to the school. JMO. It’s frustrating for the parents of kids who work hard and show up every day that they can’t decide to take their own kids on vacation. There’s so many situations like OP where work or other family member obligations leave them with short windows of opportunity and I believe family vacations are important (not just Disney but getting together with each other.) And some school districts just don’t allow it period. I fear for the day that my school district follows that pattern. Again JMO.

 

[sam_gordon]

It doesn't matter if 99/100 parents here had no problems taking their kids out. Your situation is specific to YOU. What is your school's policy? If the policy is work can't be made up, then (IMO) it doesn't matter whether he has no AP classes. He'd still potentially lose out on the two remaining credits to graduate. What does your son say?

Find out what the possible consequences are (don't assume), then make a decision and live with the consequences. That's all this comes down to.

 

[mjkacmom]

One of my daughter’s missed a week of school for 5 years straight up until junior year. She was a competitive dancer and qualified for Worlds every year (top 1%), so went to Ireland, Scotland, London, and Montreal. She was a straight A student (one B+) with a rigorous course load. She made arrangements with all of her teachers, and spent a lot of time doing work before, during and after. She had all AP classes junior year so didn’t go, but did miss a few days senior year (competition was in the US that year) because it was spring of senior year, college acceptances were in, senior year was pretty much over. If a kid is ever going to miss a week of high school senior year, I can’t imagine a better time.

 

[cjlong88]

DS is a senior, graduating in May. We let our kids choose our vacation destination their last year of high school. We would like to have his sister join us as I expect it will be out last trip with all of us together.

the problem is that we are having difficulty reconciling our schedules. I work in healthcare and am prohibited from taking time over the holidays. Daughter’s college spring break does not match son’s high school spring break. Son is leaving immediately after commencement to work at a camp/conference center all summer.

this leaves our only option being to take him out of school for a week during her spring break. Now…let me say, he is not in any AP classes. In fact the only classes he’s in that are necessary to graduate are English 12 and Econ. He has completed all other credits. So he fills out his schedule with three band classes, a piano class and a study hall. So honestly, it’s not like he would miss any critical instruction.

my question…can anyone share their experience dealing with the high school concerning time off for vacation? I expect to get a LOT of push back from the school. But honestly…our experience with this school is not so good overall. I feel like the school thinks they own my kid in that the parent does not have the final say on so many things that directly affect our children. And I don’t feel like the control the school has on our schedule is paid back in value as regards the quality of education they have given my kids. (But that’s a whole separate conversation).

anyway…taking a kid out for vacation…tell me… what works?

As a teacher, I work alongside parents who pull their kids out of school during an instructional week every so often. Have your child communicate well in advance about the absence and ask the teachers if he can get anything done early. I think the best thing parents can do is make sure their child has no missing work before the vacation. Period.

I LOVE that your kid is in band. I’m the band director at my school and I always say the band kids are some of the best kids. Maybe I’m biased.

He’s a senior, and it will be near the back end of the school year. If he was my student, as long as he had everything turned in and made a plan in advance with teachers to catch up before or after the trip, I have zero qualms about him missing school.

On a side note, I think as a whole more schools should adopt a shorter summer and insert more breaks throughout the academic year. I taught in one school that had a super short summer, but every 6-8 weeks we would have a week off of school. No one ever pulled their kids out for Vacation because there were so many options for families to take vacation. Same amount of school days, just more breaks in between. Which I think is great for kids and families and teachers.

Anywho, it’s you and your son’s decision. Personally I loved school and was always a little bummed if I had to miss anything. If you do feel resistance from the school or teachers, usually it’s from a caring place even though it might not feel that way. We just want every kid to succeed (okay, most of us do), and sometimes it just sucks to have kids out, especially since we already see them so little.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

Oh I definitely agree with you maybe I should have said it should be up to parent AND the student and if it works for them and their situation. I just don’t think it should be up to the school. JMO. It’s frustrating for the parents of kids who work hard and show up every day that they can’t decide to take their own kids on vacation. There’s so many situations like OP where work or other family member obligations leave them with short windows of opportunity and I believe family vacations are important (not just Disney but getting together with each other.) And some school districts just don’t allow it period. I fear for the day that my school district follows that pattern. Again JMO.

I'm totally fine with state laws and school rules. They are there for a reason. Generally people talk about it they want leniency or flexibility which is different than saying it should always be a parent's decision. If a parent wants total discretion homeschooling or private school (depending on the private school) or online school (depending on their format) is for you.

I suppose knowing that in my area there are pockets where parents couldn't care less about their kid much less their education truancy laws that spark parental neglect inquiries at least somewhat interact with that.

Kids will survive fine without vacations that remove them from school. They live well adjusted lives even having never taking a vacation during school year or never at all. Of course vacation can be important to families and it's not the end of the world to take them out either but it's good to keep in mind both sides, IMO.

**I do respect your viewpoint though

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

On a side note, I think as a whole more schools should adopt a shorter summer and insert more breaks throughout the academic year. I taught in one school that had a super short summer, but every 6-8 weeks we would have a week off of school. No one ever pulled their kids out for Vacation because there were so many options for families to take vacation. Same amount of school days, just more breaks in between. Which I think is great for kids and families and teachers

A lot of that will depend on the occupations of the parents and at a certain age the students who may have jobs. If you never knew a family who pulled their kid out the other possibility is the more year round format led to less opportunities because of when each of those breaks fell and thus no vacations occurred.

Parents also tend to use holidays to take vacation because their occupation observes that holiday and the school may also observe that. It may lead to a shorter vacation but it does occur.

 

[White Cat]

It’s something I never did. I didn’t want my children to feel entitled or privileged or even special. And by snubbing the schools rules, if it’s a rule is doing just that.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Don't use the word vacation and don't share details, not you & not son with friends or on social media until after graduation. We all want to think people aren't jealous, petty and small but holymoly people are jealous, petty and small and if the school is competitive just avoid it being a thing someone can latch onto especially if your child still needs recommendations.

Instead of calling it vacation call it a family gathering or something less provocative.

 

[White Cat]

Don't use the word vacation and don't share details, not you & not son with friends or on social media until after graduation. We all want to think people aren't jealous, petty and small but holymoly people are jealous, petty and small and if the school is competitive just avoid it being a thing someone can latch onto especially if your child still needs recommendations.

Instead of calling it vacation call it a family gathering or something less provocative.

That’s a nice thing to teach your children.

 

[ShayBells]

I'm totally fine with state laws and school rules. They are there for a reason. Generally people talk about it they want leniency or flexibility which is different than saying it should always be a parent's decision. If a parent wants total discretion homeschooling or private school (depending on the private school) or online school (depending on their format) is for you.

I suppose knowing that in my area there are pockets where parents couldn't care less about their kid much less their education truancy laws that spark parental neglect inquiries at least somewhat interact with that.

Kids will survive fine without vacations that remove them from school. They live well adjusted lives even having never taking a vacation during school year or never at all. Of course vacation can be important to families and it's not the end of the world to take them out either but it's good to keep in mind both sides, IMO.

**I do respect your viewpoint though

I get that. There are definitely parents that don’t care and it’s why the rules are in place. I do get that. It just sucks that it hurts the kids that do well in some districts. Some school districts have flexibility for kids. In my school district you get 10 days before you need a doctors note. I’m fine with it. I hope it stays that way for us. I just feel bad for the ones that don’t even get that option when their kids barely miss a day of school and have good grades and want to and could benefit from days off. I know I did.

It’s a difficult topic with no good solution to make everybody happy and still protect children’s education. Which is important.

And I appreciate your last comment. I respect yours as well. It’s good to remember all sides especially when my passion blinds me sometimes.

 

[LuvOrlando]

That’s a nice thing to teach your children.

I think it's important to teach kids that rules are human constructs and some rules, like some humans, are absurd, so yeah, I agree, thanks!

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

I get that. There are definitely parents that don’t care and it’s why the rules are in place. I do get that. It just sucks that it hurts the kids that do well in some districts. Some school districts have flexibility for kids. In my school district you get 10 days before you need a doctors note. I’m fine with it. I hope it stays that way for us. I just feel bad for the ones that don’t even get that option when their kids barely miss a day of school and have good grades and want to and could benefit from days off. I know I did.

It’s a difficult topic with no good solution to make everybody happy and still protect children’s education. Which is important.

And I appreciate your last comment. I respect yours as well. It’s good to remember all sides especially when my passion blinds me sometimes.

For sure and I do agree with your comments here it's good points to bring up

 

[slo]

If your DS is ok with having any makeup work he’ll get, then I’d do it in a heartbeat. Sometimes family time is just as important as school time.

ETA…..we used to take our girls out of school for a week in Sept or Oct to go to WDW. We stopped when my DD couldn’t handle all the makeup work (this was in middle school).

 

[design_mom]

I also have a HS senior daughter and we're having similar issues. Our "solution," although not ideal, is that our college student son isn't going with us. I'm very disappointed about that, and he's a little disappointed, but it is what it is. There just wasn't a way to schedule everyone.

Spring breaks don't line up. Son can't miss a week of college. Daughter probably COULD miss a week of high school, but it would be stressful to make up the work (and "her graduation trip" shouldn't add extra stress for her). Son's college gets out a couple of weeks before the high school does. Technically we COULD go then, but that would mean my daughter missing out on the end-of-senior year festivities, and graduation. It's all optional, but I don't want her to miss it. The weekend after HS graduation, we need to move my college son to a different state for his summer internship, and once the internship starts, he won't have any time off. The internship ends 2 weeks before his college classes resume, but we don't know yet what DD's college move-in schedule will be. If SOMEONE's going to miss, it needs to be him since it's HER graduation trip, but... sigh.

That being said: my niece goes to the same high school. They're taking her out for a week around thanksgiving to visit family. Not only was it approved by the school, my sister scheduled parent-teacher conferences and specifically asked my nieces teachers. (They do this yearly and usually the teachers say "OK, that's fine." but this year, the teachers said "Absolutely. If you have the opportunity, take it!" She felt that the teachers were even more OK with it this year than usual.) My niece is an excellent student though.)

 

[Suzabella]

As always, it's your call. You just have to be prepared to accept the consequences that he may face.

We did take our son out of school for a family trip when he was a sophomore. We took him to Hawaii and included trips to the Arizona and the Missouri. His teachers looked at it as an in person learning experience and he wrote a report for English on what he saw and felt. So...if you can include a learning experience, that would be a plus.

 

[tvguy]

We never had the kids miss more than a couple of days in HS because it was too hard to catch up, and they didn’t have classes they could blow off. That said, it sounds like your son’s situation might be a little different, and times have changed quite a bit. Ultimately he has to do what works for him. I happen to agree with the view that life is short...

So true! We just had a September family vacation like that and it was a beautiful thing!

We never tracked out kids absences, nor did we take them out of school for vacations. So we were surprised when our son graduated from High School when they honored the students who never missed a day in 4 years. It is on his permanent record.
I think for me the lesson of the past 18 months with the pandemic is that things like vacations can wait.

 

[monsterkitty]

It's your son's last semester in high school. He will probably have his acceptance letter from college so they could really careless about his grades at this point unless he doesn't graduate.

The only concern is that if he has any band performances that week the band director will need to know that he won't be there. As a retired band director, I can you that if there are any performances he will miss a lot of band directors will not be happy. I would have told him to have a blast and give him money for a Mickey Bar if he was going to WDW.

It was difficult to take my high schoolers out for 3 days to attend their step grandfather's funeral.

It was also difficult for our daughter her junior year as she developed a medical condition that had her too sick to attend school. We had to put her on homebound for the last 3 weeks as the assistant superintendent of the district gave me a hard time and did not accept a doctor's excuse for her needing accommodations.


Public schools get federal $for butts in seats.

Schools get around 12% of their funds from the Federal Government. Most of this money is for students with special needs and students who are second language learners. States fund the schools with state taxes. Also, not every state counts attendance every day for funding. My state does the count the first week of October.

The assistant superintendent in your district was wrong. He or she should have accepted that doctor's note and made sure everything was done to help your daughter.

 

[tinyrip]

That’s a nice thing to teach your children.

When I was in middle school my dad wanted to take me on a ski trip, our school policy was that they did not excuse vacation time for families at all. My mother told the school that my great-grandma had died and told me that if anyone at the school asked (teachers, students, etc.) that i was at a funeral. Now I didn't turn into a pathological liar. But I got to spend a week with my dad where it was just me and him, something that I never got. Its something that happened 35 yrs ago and still talk about. So was it worth me lying about where i was at? absolutely, and if I had children who were getting a once in a lifetime opportunity like that I'd tell them the same thing

 

[cjlong88]

A lot of that will depend on the occupations of the parents and at a certain age the students who may have jobs. If you never knew a family who pulled their kid out the other possibility is the more year round format led to less opportunities because of when each of those breaks fell and thus no vacations occurred.

Parents also tend to use holidays to take vacation because their occupation observes that holiday and the school may also observe that. It may lead to a shorter vacation but it does occur.

8 weeks off in the summer (all of June and July). 1 week off in September. 1 week off for Thanksgiving. 2 weeks off around Christmas. 1 week off in February. 1 week + 1 day off in April. All of the smaller holidays had Friday/Monday off (i.e. MLK weekend we got the Friday before off), which gave families even longer extended weekends to choose from as well. That's a lot of options. Plus, many schools on traditional schedules sometimes don't give an entire week off for Thanksgiving and only 10 days around Christmas time, so our holiday breaks were longer than some (not all, but many).

No system is perfect, but I truly believe the one I experienced in this prior job gave the vast majority of people as many options as possible. If they can't vacation during the holidays, there are options both inside and outside of the traditional summer break. Can only vacation during the holidays? Here they are, often times better than what other schools offered.

From a philisophical standpoint, I also believed more frequent breaks and a shorter summer helped with retention and caused less burn out among teachers and students alike.

 

[Mackenzie Click-Mickelson]

When I was in middle school my dad wanted to take me on a ski trip, our school policy was that they did not excuse vacation time for families at all. My mother told the school that my great-grandma had died and told me that if anyone at the school asked (teachers, students, etc.) that i was at a funeral. Now I didn't turn into a pathological liar. But I got to spend a week with my dad where it was just me and him, something that I never got. Its something that happened 35 yrs ago and still talk about. So was it worth me lying about where i was at? absolutely, and if I had children who were getting a once in a lifetime opportunity like that I'd tell them the same thing

I wonder if there are schools out there that request documentation.

I was employed with a company that allowed 5 days of bereavement for each qualifying persons (meaning your grandmother but it also included my husband's grandmother and so on). The days didn't have to be consecutive either (because dealing with things after a death don't follow a consecutive schedule often). However it was up to each supervisor's discretion if they requested proof. You couldn't be denied the time off but failure to provide proof if asked mean that time off may not be counted towards your bereavement and instead may count towards your PTO and if you didn't have enough PTO it would be unpaid. While I was employed there I had 2 separate situations in which I took bereavement. One was for my husband's great grandmother out of town (no proof was requested from that particular supervisor) the other for my husband's grandmother in town (proof was requested from that particular supervisor at that time).

There's times where you can skirt around rules but generally speaking death is one of those that is usually considered morally repugnant to use to skirt around rules (a general statement not meant as a personal statement)..watching survivor and talking on that thread about it anyone remember Johnny Fairplay's ploy and how people reacted? In any case you can always make a case for minor aged individual vs adult decisions but you'd probably want to make it clear in the world out there while you may not turn into a pathological liar (which to be fair not sure that was implied you would be) you'd want to be careful for your usage of using death as a way out of something.