Spin off thread: How do you handle sharing your room with extended family/friends?

[cruisehopeful]

Spinning off from the thread regarding help deciding on a new purchase.

Seems like it's not uncommon to invite extended family/friends to stay and then they act like it's their vacation and don't contribute to anything and/or complain about stuff. It's been my experience that people don't always value things that they don't pay for.

I developed a strike one policy. Creating excessive work or spending for me once is a final straw. I'll still go places with them, but they aren't allowed in my room and I will only pay for my own food.

On a positive note, I had a couple friends stay with me in a Residence inn last week. I booked the room on nominal costs and used rewards points and Chase travel points to cover most of it. The three of us ate out and took Lyft often and whoever pulled out their wallet first paid. We had a good time and I think we likely all evened out. When we were at the airport heading home, we talked about how it worked nicely, but if we had more people, it might have been more work. I suggested an app called Splitwise that keeps track of what we spend. We wouldn't have to pay each other or split bills, but we'd enter what we spend and everyone can see what everyone paid and who's turn it was next.

 

[VGCgroupie]

The app is a cool idea!

The thing with inviting people on a timeshare stay, so many people don’t realize the true cost and maintenance costs of timeshares and they tend to think it somewhat free.

 

[CarolynFH]

When we invite someone to share our DVC timeshare, it's almost always family. When we issue the invitation, we tell them we'll provide the lodging and one table service meal a day. They're responsible for their own park tickets, transportation, other meals, and of course souvenirs. That has worked well for us. Frequently our guests will treat us to a meal, pick up the cost of groceries for the room, or otherwise contribute financially on a voluntary basis, but we don't expect it or ask for it.

We haven't had anyone ask to use our membership otherwise, and we haven't offered it to anyone other when inviting them to come with us. If you search this forum you'll find multiple other threads reporting other owners' experiences, and unfortunately there are some very sad stories of owners being taken advantage of.

 

[zavandor]

The app is a cool idea!

The thing with inviting people on a timeshare stay, so many people don’t realize the true cost and maintenance costs of timeshares and they tend to think it somewhat free.

Yep, I had that experience. Still had a good time with friends traveling with me, but a little bit of appreciation would have been nice (and I mean a thank you, not money).

 

[VGCgroupie]

Yep, I had that experience. Still had a good time with friends traveling with me, but a little bit of appreciation would have been nice (and I mean a thank you, not money).

Was it my adult daughter who joined you? Sounds like it.

 

[Sandisw]

When I have guests staying in the same villa with me, even if I had to go to a larger unit, I do not charge them anything. I even sometimes gift rooms when I am not there.

If we order groceries, we either split it, or each pays for their own amount. Depends on the group.

If they ask do they can pay, I just tell them to buy me a drink or something if they want but it’s my gift to them.

And most do! But if they don’t? I’m fine because it was my choice.

Now, there are a few who I wouldn’t want to travel with again! Lol

 

[atthebeachclub]

I’m not sure that I will often share, but I *might* split a studio in the future with a work friend if there are years the rest of the family can’t go. I think I would probably ask for half of what it cost me, approximately.

Still a good deal! I’m not covering anyone’s meals or other costs though. LOL. I love the idea, but there is no way.

 

[Mouseforward]

I make family ( other than parents) pay for their park tickets , transportation , and food. I don't charge for the room.

Parents get everything paid ( room/flights/tickets/limo) except they tend to pick up the check at restaurants.

Other than family can pay 100% of their costs and get their own room, I don't share rooms with friends as I need my alone time.

 

[Girlstar30]

Well as I posted on another thread I got burned with money before.

Let's see what else, ah yes I went with a friend to Puerto Rico last year that takes daytime "naps." We were sharing a room and yet she expected to be able to shut the door and take these power naps daily. She also got upset when we went out during these naps to a rum tasting she apparently wanted to go to. Then was upset that we didn't want to go. Again.

Then there was the arguing over a catamaran in St. Kitts. Should a $2000 catamaran be split by person or party? Well the single person thought it should be per person ofc and threw a fit thinking she should pay $285 and go on this catamaran she couldnt afford otherwise. Even the children under 10 should be counted as paying guests apparently.

My cousin that we travel with is wonderful, but her kids are, well kids. They're loud, they chase each other around, and their parent doesnt enforce a bed time. That's pretty unpleasant for people that arent used to being around young children. So last time we stayed at seperate hotels, but now that we're DVC we invited them and were going to give 2 bedroom lockoffs a try at poly, Vero beach, and Riviera. I actually am missing one night on the Iockoff for Vero beach and have a dedicated 2 bedroom as a backup. Im scared the dedicated is a bad idea but we will see. I hope the lockoffs will at least block out some of the noise issues we had last time.

My wife also requests we go on some vacations just the two of us. If it was up to me I would bring my cousin's every time (and they would be more than happy to attend ) but i respect that its my family and not hers and she's not as excited about that idea as me next year we will go to wdw as a couple and then aulani with the extended family again. I think going twice a year, once a year just us and once with family is a good compromise.

I don't split bills with people because ive found over the years that many people do not match my generosity. I dont invite people with the expectation that they will pay for the rooms and for that reason I am very selective from now on and probably wont invite anyone else I know for the time being. Been there, done that. I prefer a peaceful trip with my wife than bringing along the single friend that wants to meet someone to bring back to the room and hook up with or go to bars at night (Yes I have those friends too )

 

[CraigInPA]

If I'm taking a non-adult (such as a grand niece or nephew), I'm paying everything for them (meals, tickets, flights, limo, etc...).

If other adults are coming with us, I'm just providing the room. It's their responsibility to pay for meals, tickets, flights, limo, etc... I make it clear when I offer the room that they will be paying for everything but the room itself. I also try to give people a budget for all of that up front, so that it's clear that this is not a totally free vacation for them.

 

[MICKIMINI]

My cousin that we travel with is wonderful, but her kids are, well kids. They're loud, they chase each other around, and their parent doesnt enforce a bed time. That's pretty unpleasant for people that arent used to being around young children. So last time we stayed at seperate hotels, but now that we're DVC we invited them and were going to give 2 bedroom lockoffs a try at poly, Vero beach, and Riviera. I actually am missing one night on the Iockoff for Vero beach and have a dedicated 2 bedroom as a backup. Im scared the dedicated is a bad idea but we will see. I hope the lockoffs will at least block out some of the noise issues we had last time.

Yikes! You are BRAVE and GENEROUS!

We have rented a boat at WDW and paid for three families, bought 99% of groceries even though we asked that the other two parties (driving) buy a modest amount ($50 in todays $$) and they brought nothing or the wrong items. I was trying to cook a meal a day to help offset their dining costs. Spaghetti and meatballs without pasta sauce LOL! PLEASE bring some laundry detergent - that type of necessity 3 BR villa. Guess who set the table, cooked and cleaned up. No thank you's. DH was on trash each day. Lazy and inconsiderate (DH's family) and complaining all the while "we don't have any money" while driving a BRAND new SUV! We continued to get "do you still own that Disney thing"?

I hope you have a wonderful time with family. Our son and DIL are a joy to have with us...we always get them their own studio and we have a 1 BR. I purposely don't get a 2 BR. Sometimes we are at different resorts. We are just thrilled that they enjoy vacationing with us!!

 

[atthebeachclub]

Yikes! You are BRAVE and GENEROUS!

We have rented a boat at WDW and paid for three families, bought 99% of groceries even though we asked that the other two parties (driving) buy a modest amount ($50 in todays $$) and they brought nothing or the wrong items. I was trying to cook a meal a day to help offset their dining costs. Spaghetti and meatballs without pasta sauce LOL! PLEASE bring some laundry detergent - that type of necessity 3 BR villa. Guess who set the table, cooked and cleaned up. No thank you's. DH was on trash each day. Lazy and inconsiderate (DH's family) and complaining all the while "we don't have any money" while driving a BRAND new SUV! We continued to get "do you still own that Disney thing"?

I hope you have a wonderful time with family. Our son and DIL are a joy to have with us...we always get them their own studio and we have a 1 BR. I purposely don't get a 2 BR. Sometimes we are at different resorts. We are just thrilled that they enjoy vacationing with us!!

I would never ever vacation with the first group you described again! Those points are valuable; don’t waste them making yourselves miserable. Those people can find and pay for their own vacation!

 

[bookbabe626]

We don’t usually share with them in the sense everyone else seems to. We will happily gift trips to family, and if/what we have them pay varies depending on their financial situation. We are luckily in the position of being able to help other family members out, so we do that more often than we actually travel with them. (If they come visit, we also pay for everything, usually including flights, again because we can.)

In a rare situation where we are actually traveling with others, the beauty of DVC is the flexibility of accommodations. We can decide on a case by case basis whether we are going to book a larger villa or multiple studios, which works out well in 99% of cases. Again, though, it’s our $$ and points, so people can enjoy what and how we’ve booked or choose to stay home.

 

[Girlstar30]

Yikes! You are BRAVE and GENEROUS!

We have rented a boat at WDW and paid for three families, bought 99% of groceries even though we asked that the other two parties (driving) buy a modest amount ($50 in todays $$) and they brought nothing or the wrong items. I was trying to cook a meal a day to help offset their dining costs. Spaghetti and meatballs without pasta sauce LOL! PLEASE bring some laundry detergent - that type of necessity 3 BR villa. Guess who set the table, cooked and cleaned up. No thank you's. DH was on trash each day. Lazy and inconsiderate (DH's family) and complaining all the while "we don't have any money" while driving a BRAND new SUV! We continued to get "do you still own that Disney thing"?

I hope you have a wonderful time with family. Our son and DIL are a joy to have with us...we always get them their own studio and we have a 1 BR. I purposely don't get a 2 BR. Sometimes we are at different resorts. We are just thrilled that they enjoy vacationing with us!!

I got super lucky this morning and the 2 bedroom lockoff at Vero Beach opened up! Thank God!

My vacation planning for this year is complete managing 3 memberships my first year with no major issues (except overborrowing which thankfully was rectified) and we managed to get all the resorts we wanted! I think my resale purchases for the most part went pretty smoothly too. I feel accomplished!

Your post is giving me ptsd, why are all these people the same i remember having a friend over my house during the summer that wayyyy overstayed his welcome here for an entire month and wouldnt wash a single dish! I literally had to (politely) tell him he needed to leave.

My wife's family is the same, sister "never" has any money but both mom and daughter just got plastic surgery and started building a home in Mexico (more like a 2nd story on top of their parents house). I could care less but dont complain u dont have money. People always have money for what they want.

Thankfully they haven't asked us to use our membership because they are the jealous type that has to talk sh*t about it instead of asking to go.

I remember when we bought Baylake they asked if we bought the whole building (Seriously, ) when we said no and explained how the timeshare works they laughed and said" well, better than nothing i guess." And then proceeded to talk about how they wouldnt want to have that. Mind you these people were just crying that they wanted to go to Disneyland and the tickets were too expensive.

I would never ever vacation with the first group you described again! Those points are valuable; don’t waste them making yourselves miserable. Those people can find and pay for their own vacation!

No way am I traveling with that person again it was just one person that was making it hell for the rest of us, she violated the strikeout policy and we are done the sad part is you dont really know these things about people until you travel with them or in this case it started even before the vacation with the trip planning.

I never imagined it would go down like that so im thinking if we ever bring friends again (highly unlikely) we will do a test run of a weekend dvc trip and see how that goes instead of a full blown vacation just getting too old to deal with it

 

[MICKIMINI]

I would never ever vacation with the first group you described again! Those points are valuable; don’t waste them making yourselves miserable. Those people can find and pay for their own vacation!

We did not! For years they called when they were "in the area" 1000 miles away begging to visit. We stopped answering the phone as we knew we'd be expected to entertain them and put them up. They were educated professionals who squandered their incomes and expected others (who are frugal) to make up for their spendthrift ways. They are now retired and probably in debt up to their eyeballs, oh well. I totally agree with you. Never again and it's been never again for over 25 years!

 

[Girlstar30]

We did not! For years they called when they were "in the area" 1000 miles away begging to visit. We stopped answering the phone as we knew we'd be expected to entertain them and put them up. They were educated professionals who squandered their incomes and expected others (who are frugal) to make up for their spendthrift ways. They are now retired and probably in debt up to their eyeballs, oh well. I totally agree with you. Never again and it's been never again for over 25 years!

Money def cant buy class! It just amazes me that people get free stuff and act like that.

When I was younger I had a friend that was well off and the family invited me to stay at the bellagio in vegas with them and took me to all the fancy restaurants and paid. I acted like an angel because I wanted to be invited again

 

[Mouseforward]

We did not! For years they called when they were "in the area" 1000 miles away begging to visit. We stopped answering the phone as we knew we'd be expected to entertain them and put them up. They were educated professionals who squandered their incomes and expected others (who are frugal) to make up for their spendthrift ways. They are now retired and probably in debt up to their eyeballs, oh well. I totally agree with you. Never again and it's been never again for over 25 years!

That reminds me of that great line from Downton Abbey where dowager countess said. “ avoiding one’s enemies is easy. It’s avoiding your friends that’s hard.”