Sometimes I feel lowly

[ez]

I just picked up my daughter from a birthday party, and I am left with a lowly feeling. Her classmates list reads like the who's who of this town, ie. the birthday boys mom is a doctor, all the moms either have an incredibly impressive jobs or they don't work at all, and I come to pick her up from my day delivering mail, not wanting to get close to people cause I'm sure I must smell pretty bad Just really feeling like I do not fit in!
Sometimes I even feel lowly around my husband. He is the boss of like 75 people, has a cushy office and a very cushy job for that matter. He just does not want to hear about my hard days this time of year, or that my route got huge, well, you get the idea.
After 15 years at my job, we just keep getting treated worse and worse. You might wonder why I don't quit, well, my husband makes decent money for our area, 60 something, and I make 40 something, so combined we aren't doing too bad considering neither of us graduated college. But still if I quit, I know we'd really miss my 40 something, plus retirement and health insurance.
If any of you have any words of wisdom to get me out of this lowly mood...it would be much appreciated. Thanks, dis friends

 

[Ricola]

All I know is I rely on the mail 6 days a week to help run my business, and I go to the doctor maybe once a year. In my book that makes your job much more important. ESPECIALLY this time of year!

 

[lilboo]

You seem like a very sensitive and self-aware person... I'm sorry you are feeling so down.

You're in a fine line of work-perhaps you are just feeling unchallenged or unappreciated? Would changing jobs to something that excites you more or pushing for a promo where you are change your outlook?

Anyway-I hope you find a way out of this funk.

 

[tater bug]

Your job is no less important than any of the others you mentioned. You can hold your head high at any job you do, as long as it's honest work. If someone looks down on it, that is their problem, not yours. And how well would some of the people you had in mind when you wrote your post hold up to do your job? I know I couldn't!

 

[catsrule]

We all get down sometimes. It sounds like you are stressed out. Maybe a manicure/massage/new hairdo or something you can do for yourself will help.

 

[mivvers]

hi ez,
Please don't feel lowly....I felt so bad reading your post!! Just because the parents of your daughter's classmates may have more money or a job that seems more exciting, doesn't make them any "higher" than you! It's so easy to get wrapped up in status and $$, when we all know that's not what's really important.

The dad of one of my son's classmates is also a letter carrier, and I was talking to him about it one day ... while he was accompanying his daughter on a class trip. The doctor mom probably doesn't have much time to do things like that with her child ... there are good and bad sides to everything. And I know that postal workers are often underappreciated...but you are performing a great service which is NOTHING to feel lowly about!!!

Other people come complete with all their own problems that we know nothing about ... often it's the people who look like they have it all who are in actuality having the most problems...so don't worry!! Hold your head high, girl!! And get DH to take you out for a night so you can forget all those work problems! Hope your weekend gets better!!

 

[nativetxn]

I remember when I used to feel that way. I would have to attend all these firm parties where all the women were either attorneys or highly successful career wives of attorneys and I was "just a stay at home mom" (those were <i>their</i> words).

You know what my husband does every day when he gets home before he even gives me a hug? He wants to know where the mail is....so at our house you would be considered a celebrity.

I appreciate you...now you need to appreciate yourself. I think you're pretty special. {{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Tomorrow will be a better day

 

[EROS]

Hi, EZ . I was a seasonal Post Office carrier on the hills of San Francisco during my 4 years of college.

Hey, I'm around high-powered people all day.......I'm probably one of them . Guess what??? Position, Wealth, and Social Status have little to do with the quality of a person.

I worked as a warehouseman during high school with men who seldom had more than a 3rd grade education. Yet, they had strong family values and were really the salt of the earth.

I don't think that anyone, even your DH, is putting you down. I think that YOU are putting yourself down.

Stand tall and proud. If you've had a tough day, it merits support and love from your husband. Tell him that EROS said so ......

Happy Holidays,

 

[DaisyDebbie]

Ditto what Eros said. There will always be people who will look down their noses at others, but that doesn't make them any better than anyone else. EZ, you are a much better person than any of them

And I agree, go get yourself a manicure and pedicure, treat yourself

 

[Boots]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[Kallison]

EZ don't think people are better than you because of their jobs. We have houses next to ours that are in the million dollar range, a lot of doctors and lawyers for neighbors. Many of our neighbors don't have a lick of common sense! I never feel inferior to them. I just went back to work after 12 years as a SAHM. I feel fortunate that I could stay home for so long. I'm an educational aide in a middle school for kids with learning disabilities. I make a whopping $10K per year! I know what I do makes a big difference with these kids. I was just on the phone today with a MOm for 10 minutes who kept thanking me for helping her DD. My self worth doesn't depend on my paycheck. Delivering the mail is a tough one this time of year. I love both mailmen we've had since we lived here. You should hold your head high, nobody can make you feel bad without your permission.

 

[Krisu]

You have a very vital job. And if you have elderly/shut-ins on your route, you are probaly their only outside link

 

[Val]

My graduate advisor taught all of us grad students that EACH AND EVERY job is important. A professor or doctor is NO more important than the custodian that takes care of our lab. As I grow older I realize how right she was. At the university we are all part of a team- I could NOT do my job with out the support from all the others. I am no better and no worse (I was just unable to get out of school so quick- avoiding real life!). How could I get my work done with out the secretary who knows how to fix the stupid xerox when I screw it up (of course its the machine's fault), or the front desk person who screens our calls and deals with the wrath of angry students so I don't have to? I try and remember that we are all partners, not competitors.

As a "prof" mom I feel so insecure when I see all the other moms in my kids classes. They are so much better at art projects and coming up with creative ideas and spending more time helping the teacher. Sometimes I am even jealous that I can't be as good as Mrs. so and so. I guess as moms we all feel insecure that we can't be the best at everything and forget what we DO contribute. I wish we moms (and dads and other relatives for that matter) would group together and support all of us rather than compare ourselves and make it a contest. Is there any way out of this competition? Sometimes I feel so inadequate- not a good prof, not a good wife, not a good mom, but I try SO hard at keeping all the balls in the air. Seems like most of us ("working", "stay at home" and everything inbetween) feel that way. We ALL work so hard, but feel that there is so much more to do. Is there an answer? Suggestions for coping with the "insecurities of who and what we are"? Anyone?

 

[Dan Murphy]

I felt sad also while reading your thoughts, ez. And this is certainly the time of the year to feel good about ourselves. Have you ever thought about how much joy you bring to people now (forget those bills you bring, LOL) and throughout the year??? Cards, greetings, packages, surprises. Look at all the various exchanges that so many of us DIS'ers participate in. Most of them travel via USPS. Our mail carrier, Joel, has been with us for quite a few years. I always enjoy seeing him and saying hello, if I happen to be home when he stops by every day.

Titles, job positions, status do not mean a hill of beans in my mind. It is the person that counts. Look here on the DIS. Most people here generally have little idea what most people do here for a living. Some folk's occupations are known, but most are not. We judge people by WHO they are, inside, not WHAT they are on the outside.

And you and your hubby are each making a good wage, independent of each other, as well as in combination for household.

Ez, hold that head high, not down. Be proud of yourself, we are!!!

{{Hugs}} from one of your family,


Dan

 

[minnie56]

You are in a very honourable job and people everywhere depend on you, in all walks of life.


My two daughters attend an all girls private school here in Canada and I have often felt very much out of my league amongst doctors, lawyers and celebrities and their children. My husband is in the satellite business. But I can tell you after 15 years there...some of those same people have many skeletons in their own closets and the moral fibre of a snake!

So, never doubt your very valuable worth!

 

[EROS]

Originally posted by minnie56

But I can tell you after 15 years there...some of those same people have many skeletons in their own closets and the moral fibre of a snake!

Did Chelsea Clinton go to that school by chance??

 

[Kitty 34]

{{{{{HUGS}}}} to you. I sure hope after reading some of these great replies, you are feeling so much better about yourself!

 

[browneyes]

{{hugs}} No words of wisdom here. I'm sure many of those people envy you as well and you're not even aware of it. {{hugs}}

 

[Serena]

{{{hugs}}}

 

[minnie56]

My daughter also did an English credit at Oxford University in England and she IS there!!!! (skeletons 'an all!)