Some venting space please....long UPDATE Pg. 2

[holycow]

I'm so glad you filed that report!...Your poor DS...how is he holding up with all of this?...I hope he is ok.

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way for your Dfamily!
Lisa

 

[TINKTWINS]

DS is holding up ok. We dont really let him out of our sight much right now. These kids know where we live. He had been invited to 2 parties this weekend, one was in someones home that I trust so he was ok there, but the other was at a function hall, I only let him go for about an hour. There were a few of his friends that moved away he really wanted to see. I felt so bad, we werent going to let him. He feels punished, but I wont take any chances. He also looks so thin to me now. He must have been stressing for a while about this. I just cant wait till some time passes.

 

[RUDisney]

If the parents of these boys are allowing them to act out in such aggressive and criminal ways, they are not doing their job. I'd speak with our attorney about filing civil charges against the parents on behalf of their abusive children. You can also file a restraining order against these children. If they try to harm or intimidate your DS, their parents will be financially responsible. Maybe that's the wake-up call that they need to learn some parenting skills. The threat of civil action may cause them to take action to try to reform their children.

OK, for those who will say that you can raise two children in the same house, the same way and have one turn out to be a brain surgeon and the other become a bum, I agree. However, a meeting that was attempted with one of the parents proved to be futile. If the parents are in denial that anything is wrong with their DS's behavior, you'll get nowhere fast. Yes, someone has to be held accountable.... it should be the parents of the rebels.

As for the school not taking this situation seriously, you have the option of taking the situation to the media. A school that is run by it's secretary is not being run properly. (Not that in many situations the secretary doesn't actually guide how the office, organization, shool is run.) The secretary alone can't possibly do her job and be expected to be the asst. and principal at the same time while the Asst. Princ. is in class. When I'm not at work, my network administrator is authorized to act upon my behalf.... that goes for staff issues, equipment and software issues and interdepartmental issues. My job is always covered. The school leadership responsibilities are even more important, IMHO, than making sure a system is functioning 24X7. We have contingencies in place for equipment failures. It doesn't sound like the same is true even though the school is dealing with human problems.

My prayers are definitely with you and your family. Please keep us posted.

 

[annemariec]

TinkTwins, I'm glad to see the update. And I'm glad you filed the report.

I agree with RUDisney. If the boys don't stop their on going threats and intimidation, you may have to attack the situation on several fronts.

Is there a "crash course" self-defense program in your area? If not, you may want to consider giving your child karate lessons. Explain to the instructors the problems your son is facing now, and they may be able to give him some moves that could help him immediately. I think it would be a proactive thing to do.

Do keep us posted. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers also.

Annemarie

 

[YaYas_Mom]

I agree with everything RUDisney said... you can get restraining orders, if the boys' are around your house and on your property, and you ask them to leave and they won't, it's trespassing. Part of the problem with kids that age, is they don't fully think through the consequences of their actions. And you get a group of them together (which it sounds like your bully is doing by soliciting other friends) you get a group/mob mentality that can turn deadly. Call and talk to anyone who will listen - the media the police, a private lawyer, the DA, anyone you can find. We had a case here last month where a teenager went to a party where he knew people and was murdered. People inside the house that knew he was being attacked left, rather than calling the police. 4 people prevented him from leaving the party and watched while he was beaten and strangled, and then helped dispose of the body. I'm not trying to scare you, but if the things you've already done haven't stopped this kid, it doesn't seem like there's a lot that will. Maybe a visit in a dark alley from your husband?

Good luck
Jennifer

 

[gemmie214]

Private schools have to abide by certain guidelined to be approved and licensed by the state of Mass. I would consider filing a complaint with The Department of Education. They should be informed of the schools lack of certified director. Unfortunatly DOE is extremely understaffed right now so getting anyone to answer the phone to take the complaint is almost impossible but I would still try. Leaving a paper trail is always important.

My heart aches for your son. I know how important 8th grade is with graduation and all. It is the year they have been waiting for for years. I am sorry your sons experience hasn't been the greatest but hopefully with the other student gone his yaer will go better.

 

[Boots]

I am so sorry that you and your family is going through all of this. Saying a prayer and please keep us posted.

 

[TINKTWINS]

Again, Thank you all for your prayers, kind thoughts, and words.

DH did put a call in the Superintendant of Catholic schools. She will be investigating this matter. She told him she is supposed to be notified of all expulsions and any major behavior problems and she has not been. She was under the impression that the principal was to have been back at school by now.

Im sure we will have some sort of backlash personally, however not just for the safety of my child but everyones, someone needed to push the issue. I just wish that someone else had pushed for an interum principal, but the office was leading you to beleive that she would be back very soon. She was to have been back in Oct. but the last chemo treatment made her very ill and she is about 70yo.

I just dont understand the thinking of some people. The children were smarter than the adults, they knew without someone in the office they could get away with much more.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just wanted to pass on my best wishes for you all, Tink. Sounds like you guys are doing all the right things. Hope all goes well.

 

[Saffron]

This is the first I saw this thread, TINKTWINS. I'm so glad someone is finally doing something!! I can't imagine how stressful this has been for all of you. I'm glad your DH took the bull by the horns and did what he felt had to be done! Good for him! Please keep us updated. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

 

[TINKTWINS]

Thank you

 

[nativetxn]

I feel so sad for your son. I imagine he does feel as though he is being punished when he is guilty of nothing. Bless his heart.

I hope these other boys get some help now before they really hurt someone badly.

No advice just {{{HUGS}}}.

 

[WillyJ]

What an ordeal!! I feel so bad for your son and all this stress must be so hard on you and your husband, TwinkTwins. .

It certainly sounds like you guys have dealt with it in the possible, and bravo to your husband for making sure the school officials didn't just blow it off. .

Now, some people may not like this, but rather then your son living in fear from these 2 punks, here's what I'd recommend. .

Does your son have a male cousin or family friend who is about 17 and unfamiliar to these 2 kids? If so, get them to find at least the kid who started the trouble, and tell him that if he ever gives your son a problem again, he'd find him and make his day very unpleasant. .

It may sound barbaric, but if teachers, parents, and cops can't get through to this little hoodlum, then you may have to being it to a level he understands. . let him look over his shoulder for a while. .

Much luck with this. . whatever happens, I hope your son stays safe it all goes away soon. .

 

[TINKTWINS]

Willy, you actually made me crack a smile.

Weve looked into all aspects and considered all options!!!

These boys DEFINATLY need a dose of reality for sure.