Snowflake children

[Mickey Fliers]

And pretty much proves what KikiMouse posted in her post.

You can't make this stuff up. You are exactly right.

 

[Ceila]

Wow, I missed a lot last night, lol!

 

[Disney Doll]

Huh. Well, this is an unexpected twist.

Nah...somebody's playing. Those posters have less than 10 posts each.

 

[SaraJayne]

Yes, Hannathy, the truth does hurt. Kiki Mouse knows her family is on the DIS boards and yet chooses to speak of them this way.

What hurts is that Kiki Mouse is speaking about her husband's family knowing full well that the chances of her sil and bil reading her post is very good.

Hannathy, do you not think that sil and bil are very hurt and upset that she is posting so negatively about them? Please show some sensitivity and not make flip comments about a situation you know nothing about.

This is a REAL family and REAL people....please no inflammatory or hurtful comments about sil and bil posts!! Thank you.

I've been reading posts on the DIS boards for several months now and I've been brought to tears reading some of the hurtful comments posted about people...never thought I'd read something about my own family here. Very sad and upset. What's to be gained from writing hurtful comments about people on these boards.

It doesn't matter that all of you read Kiki Mouse's post....it only matters that sil and bil read it...again please be sensitive to their feelings and not post if you have only negative and hurtful things to say...thank you.

Yeah, right.

 

[golfgal]

Yes, Hannathy, the truth does hurt. Kiki Mouse knows her family is on the DIS boards and yet chooses to speak of them this way.

What hurts is that Kiki Mouse is speaking about her husband's family knowing full well that the chances of her sil and bil reading her post is very good.

Hannathy, do you not think that sil and bil are very hurt and upset that she is posting so negatively about them? Please show some sensitivity and not make flip comments about a situation you know nothing about.

This is a REAL family and REAL people....please no inflammatory or hurtful comments about sil and bil posts!! Thank you.

I've been reading posts on the DIS boards for several months now and I've been brought to tears reading some of the hurtful comments posted about people...never thought I'd read something about my own family here. Very sad and upset. What's to be gained from writing hurtful comments about people on these boards.

It doesn't matter that all of you read Kiki Mouse's post....it only matters that sil and bil read it...again please be sensitive to their feelings and not post if you have only negative and hurtful things to say...thank you.

A lot of people post things here about their families so they can keep the peace at family functions. Imagine going to family functions and everyone airing their complaints about each other-that would be so much fun . The comments she posted were not for your eyes and while these boards are in no way private, the time you have invested in searching and reading the posts pretty much gives you want you deserve. If you didn't want to know these things, don't actively seek out their postings. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and your view on how things are in your life may or may not be what others see.

 

[bethbuchall]

I encountered the mother of a snowflake-in-the-making at the zoo yesterday. My family had watched the elephant demonstration and were waiting patiently for the trainers to bring the elephant around to our section. Just as the elephant approached my kids (11 and 17), we were pushed (yes, literally pushed) out of the way so that this mother could let her 4-month old (guessing on the age, but definitely under 6 months) touch the elephant. He obviously had no clue and didn't care. She had to take his hand and pull it toward the elephant. But he was so much more important than those of us who had been waiting.

 

[walden]

I encountered the mother of a snowflake-in-the-making at the zoo yesterday. My family had watched the elephant demonstration and were waiting patiently for the trainers to bring the elephant around to our section. Just as the elephant approached my kids (11 and 17), we were pushed (yes, literally pushed) out of the way so that this mother could let her 4-month old (guessing on the age, but definitely under 6 months) touch the elephant. He obviously had no clue and didn't care. She had to take his hand and pull it toward the elephant. But he was so much more important than those of us who had been waiting.

Yep, a "snowflake" in the making.

A *snowflake* child is the product of a helicopter parent. Nothing against the child, but something against the entitled parent who apparently wants to prolong the entitlement. The purpose of parenting should be to develop a child to make independent (good) decisions at the age of 18 or so, to live life as a functioning adult without parental involvement.

Many potential *snowflakes* rebel against suffocating helicopter parents. Good for them.

Now, let us rediscuss, "snowflakes" and "tissues" and "teacups" and "helicopters" and "lawnmowers" and "Black Hawks."

These terms go way beyond the DIS. They are now very much grad school terminology.

 

[mickeysgal]

Now, let us rediscuss, "snowflakes" and "tissues" and "teacups" and "helicopters" and "lawnmowers" and "Black Hawks."

These terms go way beyond the DIS. They are now very much grad school terminology.

Definitions please.

 

[walden]

Definitions please.

Nope, I'm not going to do your homework for you. Rest assured, every single one of those terms have been used on the DIS in previous threads. Do a search on the DIS. Every single one of those terms can also be googled. Wikipedia has them all, or most of them.

My point here is that children should be raised to a certain level of independence once they start college. Does it mean that parents can't step in with help post-age 18? Absolutely not! In emergencies we will step in.

Decent parents want to raise our children to think for themselves and should be pulling back and encouraging children to stand up for themselves as they attain adulthood - so that they can and will cope for themselves. Without our intervention.

Snowflakes in college and grad school are at a disadvantage because Momma and Poppa may not always be available.

Take this as kindly as it is meant

 

[simba20]

Snowflakes in college and grad school are at a disadvantage because Momma and Poppa may not always be available.

I remember my parents dropped me off at college (two weeks early, I lived in an off-campus apartment), help me set up my furiture (meaning helped carry in he heavy stuff and move it around), took me out to dinner, and then said their goodbyes. They left for a Carribean cruise two days later.

So, days before school starts my dad remind me to go by the financial aid office to settle my HOPE scholarship (GA resident) and VA benefits (disabled dad). So I get to financial aid, where I find to have to fill out all this paperwork and VA benefits. I had NO IDEA what the forms were asking, what the VA stuff meant, and was overwhlemed. My dad calls again to let me know he's sending me their tax return that I can turn in (he was somehow always on step ahead of me). I mentioned to him all of the paperwork for my scholarship and VA benefits, and he just said something about using the tax return and I could handle it.

So I started, and I wanted to cry. I wanted to drive home (an hour away) and have mom and dad do it, but I soildered on, and got everything turned in before school started and recieved my scholarship and benefits. I had already paid my tuition out of pocket, so I was reimbursed, but I still remember that feeling of accomplishment and that college/being an adult would be a piece of cake (well until I encountered English 151).

My brother however, was 7 years older than me, and lived at home most of his adult life. Oh, there were times he moved out, but he was quite irresponsible with money and so moving home was due to financial recklessness. When he didn;t like my mom asking for help with bills/mortgage then he'd move back out, only to be home again within months. He never did anythign for himself, including getting my mom to help him with tax forms when he did work (see he was also crafty and sometimes lived at home not working. No work, meant mom couldn't ask for money for bills/groceries). Really sad, he dies at the age of 36 deep in debt and without much credit to stand on. I don;t recall my parents/mom ever treating him like a snowflake, but he never learned any responsibility. meanwhile when I was 18, my dad sat me down and taught me how to fill out a basic tax form.

 

[Nik's Mom]

Wow, this thread took an interesting turn.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

ecent parents want to raise our children to think for themselves and should be pulling back and encouraging children to stand up for themselves as they attain adulthood - so that they can and will cope for themselves. Without our intervention.

ITA
One of the goals of successful parenting is to raise children that can function without us hovering over them and micro managing their lives. Who as a parent would want to do that anyway? I look forward to watching my kids grow into adulthood and having their own lives with spouses and careers etc. I always say it must be a good feeling when you can sit back and see that your kids are going to be okay in life

When parents can't do this or won't do it it creates monsters that can't function in life. Epic fail.

 

[FireDancer]

ITA
One of the goals of successful parenting is to raise children that can function without us hovering over them and micro managing their lives. Who as a parent would want to do that anyway? I look forward to watching my kids grow into adulthood and having their own lives with spouses and careers etc. I always say it must be a good feeling when you can sit back and see that your kids are going to be okay in life

When parents can't do this or won't do it it creates monsters that can't function in life. Epic fail.

I think a lot of the time the hovering helicopter parent is the result of identifying way too much as <insert kid's name>'s parent instead of as a separate entity. How many times do you see people who self identify as "Jason's mom" or the "mom of three princesses" (not picking a board name but in their daily lives out in the real world) where in reality that is only one part of their overall identity. When people stop living their own lives and start to identify through their kids the normal lines get blurred and I think many times that is what causes the parent's to be overly protective and raise snowflake kids.

I never understand why anyone identifies themselves in relation to a 3rd party whether that be so and so's parent/spouse/sibling/child/ or anything else. It is as though they have done nothing in life outside of that relationship.

I see it at work all the time, mostly with moms. They brag about things their kids do as though they did it. No, you might have laid the ground work for them to excel at whatever they do but it was them who got on the honor roll, hit the game winning home run, graduated from college, passed the BAR exam, or whatever.

This is an observation I've had of people who fit the mold of helicopter parent or seem to be raising snowflake kids.

 

[Nik's Mom]

ITA
One of the goals of successful parenting is to raise children that can function without us hovering over them and micro managing their lives. Who as a parent would want to do that anyway? I look forward to watching my kids grow into adulthood and having their own lives with spouses and careers etc. I always say it must be a good feeling when you can sit back and see that your kids are going to be okay in life

When parents can't do this or won't do it it creates monsters that can't function in life. Epic fail.

I totally agree with you. I think if helicopter parents would see it the same way as you, then that would put an end to the problem.

I saw a helicopter mom yesterday and it really made me sad. My kids are in a swimming class for developmentally disabled children. There 8 kids and 4 teachers, so that is a very good ratio, plus they have their own lifeguard watching the group. Most of us moms dropped our kids off, then went behind the glass to read or chat with each other. The one exception was the mom who stood by the side of the pool the entire time. A couple of the times, she even jumped in because she didn't like how they were running things. I could not believe it. She just jumped right in there with her clothes and all.

Now, the kid was not in danger. It's one adult to every 2 kids, and these are kids who have down syndrome or autism. I was watching, and her son was in no danger. All of the kids were having fun at a shallow part, just learning to kick their legs. Well, this mom must have jumped in to tell the instructor something because I could tell by the look of the instructors face.

The sad part is that the mom did not need to interfere. She needs to learn to let her kid grow. She made herself look like a fool jumping into the pool like that. Believe me, I know how hard it is to cut that umbilical cord, especially with a disabled child. But you have to do it because our goal as a parent is to raise independent children.

 

[rie'smom]

Something that drives me up the wall with helicopter parents is the attitude that they think they are much better parents.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

She just jumped right in there with her clothes and all.

OMG!!!

 

[Nik's Mom]

OMG!!!

I know! I still can't believe it.

 

[KiKi Mouse]

So then what...she drove home soaking wet?

 

[Hannathy]

Did they tell her to get the heck out of the pool?

Wow, I think I would have been laughing out loud at her when she got out of the pool.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I was behind the glass, so I couldn't hear what was being said. I could just see the look on the instructors face. She got out of the pool and continued to kind of pace back and forth along the side, following her kid from one side to the other. At the end, I took my kids to change, so I didn't see if she walked out soaking wet or if she changed too. It really was a sight to see. I cannot imagine that mom in her son's IEP meetings. Those teachers must dread contact with her.

Oh yes, I did laugh, but I covered my face with a book.