I'll never understand the DIS. Someone posts about how alarmed they were about the state of her sister's home, to the point that she is worried about the kids, and the majority of people jump all over her assuming she's being judgemental about a little mess? It doesn't sound like OP is talking about clutter and dust here.
I'm assuming it was alarmingly bad. I'm assuming DH's reaction is one of anger because he has watched his wife's family enable this sister for years and this is the result. Sometimes anger is a natural reaction to situations over which you have no control. It doesn't automatically make OP's DH an ogre.
If I walked into that situation, I think it would be natural to be alarmed, angry that the kids are growing up this way, worried that when they come to my home they might bring bugs with them, angry if I felt the wife's family had enabled this situation for years. I'd also be freaked out that we'd been letting someone who lived like that housesit while we were on vacation.
I watch those shows on tv and if I discovered my sister lived like that I'd be angry too. Even with total strangers, I'm pretty disgusted. With my sister, I'd feel more ownership, guilt, etc. and that would probable bring out anger initially.
As it stands, my sister is much sloppier than I am. My brother used to be too before he got married. No big deal, their house, their standards. However, I can say that because it was never at the point where I was alarmed by it.
I'm assuming it was alarmingly bad. I'm assuming DH's reaction is one of anger because he has watched his wife's family enable this sister for years and this is the result. Sometimes anger is a natural reaction to situations over which you have no control. It doesn't automatically make OP's DH an ogre.
If I walked into that situation, I think it would be natural to be alarmed, angry that the kids are growing up this way, worried that when they come to my home they might bring bugs with them, angry if I felt the wife's family had enabled this situation for years. I'd also be freaked out that we'd been letting someone who lived like that housesit while we were on vacation.
I watch those shows on tv and if I discovered my sister lived like that I'd be angry too. Even with total strangers, I'm pretty disgusted. With my sister, I'd feel more ownership, guilt, etc. and that would probable bring out anger initially.
As it stands, my sister is much sloppier than I am. My brother used to be too before he got married. No big deal, their house, their standards. However, I can say that because it was never at the point where I was alarmed by it.