Single parent dating.

[NJOYURLIFE]

It is hard. I don't know how people have the courage to try a second time or even more. I feel like so much was stolen from me and my children from the one person who was supposed to "be there for us and have our backs". Instead he was stabbing a knife into them. I have had some good dating experiences where I enjoyed myself. But I think that ability to relax and let anything get serious is missing. I figure if something is meant to happen it will.

 

[DisneyClown]

I’m actually relieved to hear I’m not the only one who is perfectly ok with being single right now. I haven’t even been single for as long as some of you but I really can’t foresee wanting to get into the dating scene again for a long time.

It seems that most everyone I know who has split up with someone is ready to jump into that next relationship right away! Also, people kind of look at me like I have two heads when I say I just don’t want a relationship right now! Why is that so hard to understand?

I had quite a few relationships before I finally got married at 34, and now I’m divorced, and 43 years old, and I’ve only been divorced for a couple of years. I have had my share of heartache both before and during my marriage, and I’m just done with it. My kids are still young, 4 and almost 7, and maybe when they are older and more independent, I perhaps will entertain the prospect of another adult relationship. So thank you for sharing your stories and making me feel a bit more normal!

 

[Carie Baker]

I'm ok with being single...I think b/c I've been that way for nearly 14 years. I'd like to meet someone great though. I haven't lost hope that he's out there for me. I don't know where to meet anyone though. The men I meet at work are married or involved. I don't do bars. All my friends are married so no one to go out with. So, I've just decided that I would wait for it to happen when it needs to happen. What else can you do?

 

[AinW]

I had lately been feeling that I was failing for not having an active social life 4 years post divorce. Thanks to all of you for making me feel that I'm not alone.

I'm 53, have a demanding but rewarding career plus 90% custody of a wonderful dd who is entering high school. My job takes me to places usually only on the news for negative reasons so it's really not the most attractive package for *************. (My ex remarried a co-worker when the ink was barely dry. I had been hearing about her for years. My dd stays with them when I have work trips. Since I travel so much for work, it's hard to justify the time to take personal trips for me so my DD is well-traveled.)

DL & WDW feel like 2nd homes to both of us. I make the most of my DVC membership (purchased with an inheritance so my separate property) by staying in studios after the rates go down middle of Aug. I use travel miles to buy our tix.

And yes, there are other Disney fans in the NW

 

[famy27]

I haven't started dating yet. DS (1) is still very young. Dating is not something on my radar right now. Not sure how I will navigate it when I'm ready though.

Hopefully, there are some dating success stories on here.

I'm actually not a single parent, so pardon the barging in. I travel alone to WDW with my DDs, as I get way more vacation time than my DH, so I like to see how other sole adults manage travel with multiple children and was very excited to see this new single parent forum. I know that my circumstances aren't exactly the same, but I'd love to share experiences and trade tips with this group.

I wouldn't be too discouraged about the lack of success stories here. I bet if this same question were posed to a general forum, you'd find lots of former single parents who were so successful with dating that they are now remarried. But those people probably wouldn't have a reason to visit the single parents area, so you wouldn't see the "happily ever afters"

 

[MsMamaBear]

I’m actually relieved to hear I’m not the only one who is perfectly ok with being single right now. I haven’t even been single for as long as some of you but I really can’t foresee wanting to get into the dating scene again for a long time.

It seems that most everyone I know who has split up with someone is ready to jump into that next relationship right away! Also, people kind of look at me like I have two heads when I say I just don’t want a relationship right now! Why is that so hard to understand?

I had quite a few relationships before I finally got married at 34, and now I’m divorced, and 43 years old, and I’ve only been divorced for a couple of years. I have had my share of heartache both before and during my marriage, and I’m just done with it. My kids are still young, 4 and almost 7, and maybe when they are older and more independent, I perhaps will entertain the prospect of another adult relationship. So thank you for sharing your stories and making me feel a bit more normal!

I see the same thing. I wasn't like that before I had my daughter, I certainly wouldn't be like that with her now. LOL! I get the same looks. I'm good though. I'd rather date someone when I want to, rather than try to just because I'm lonely or something.

 

[jevs]

^ Same. I'm happy with my own company. I've had one longish relationship after we separated but it wasn't working (still remain friends) and we called it a day. I think I've turned a bit selfish to be honest, I do things my way, my house is the way I want it, my money is my own. I guess someone else upsets that a bit. I also own my own house so dating anyone without property is not really going to happen due to the dumb legal rules.

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

^ Same. I'm happy with my own company. I've had one longish relationship after we separated but it wasn't working (still remain friends) and we called it a day. I think I've turned a bit selfish to be honest, I do things my way, my house is the way I want it, my money is my own. I guess someone else upsets that a bit. I also own my own house so dating anyone without property is not really going to happen due to the dumb legal rules.

I feel the same way. I like things my way. Having to include/consider a mate's wants/needs isn't appealing to me at the moment. I'm happy with just me and DS.

"Legal rules"? You can't date someone who doesn't own a home?

 

[jevs]

After a period of time (if living together happens) if the relationship goes sour they can make a claim on the house. It's just easier for me to state what I want straight up - I also don't want to have anymore children, so it's preferable anyone I might date already have kids. See, I'm far too selfish, too many rules.

 

[smashing]

I am in the process of buying a home on my own as our family home is selling. I also worry about the 50% claim on house down the road.
At this age, I'm hoping to find someone settled as and also with kids already as I can't have anymore (nor would I want too).

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

After a period of time (if living together happens) if the relationship goes sour they can make a claim on the house. It's just easier for me to state what I want straight up - I also don't want to have anymore children, so it's preferable anyone I might date already have kids. See, I'm far too selfish, too many rules.

Oh wow, ok.

I don't think there's anything wrong with knowing what you want and being upfront about it. I think that does you and the other person a big favor.

 

[MsMamaBear]

^ Same. I'm happy with my own company. I've had one longish relationship after we separated but it wasn't working (still remain friends) and we called it a day. I think I've turned a bit selfish to be honest, I do things my way, my house is the way I want it, my money is my own. I guess someone else upsets that a bit. I also own my own house so dating anyone without property is not really going to happen due to the dumb legal rules.

I feel the same way about my home and my money. LOL!

 

[iheartolaf]

I am all pretty new to this Single Teen Mom stuff since my baby boy is just 18 months old. I don't even have time to even think about dating with taking care of Caden, working a new job, and just finding time for myself. I suppose I will date someone in the future, but it will be in the distant future.

 

[karatemomky]

I'm so relieved to find this thread and to hear you guys saying so many things that I've already been thinking. I've been divorced for almost three years now and haven't been on a date yet. Nor do i think I want to because of reasons you all have already listed. I'm too busy when I have my kids and too tired when I don't. But I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone!

 

[nataliej_vk]

I'm a single mom who discovered Disney when I took my baby girl 5 years ago (she was 3) I've ventured into dating a few times and had the horror stories (getting pulled over b/c cops in my town knew the guy on sight for his multiple warrants :s) or guys do not understand my baby comes first. I have her 100% of the time so no "every other weekend" and I am very adamant that I am the one who puts my daughter to bed and is there when she wakes up 99% of the time. If I date someone with out children they want me to come out and drink or "party" and I'm an in bed by 11 type of girl the two I dated with children we found really quick our parenting styles were different. They didn't ever want to say no to their child for the small town they had them. And I found I had rules for my child and they had none for theirs. One b/f we took our kids to Disney and it was a disaster!!! He had no boundaries for his girl and I had for my daughterz. It then started his daughter started to make rules for my daughter too :s it was rough. I'm 32 and I think I'm happy single. I like my Disney trips (and don't want the issue of "Disney again" ) plus I've taken in custody of my nephew (new born) and it's a sticky mess, the one guy I was talking to when it happened said it was very off putting so I think to be the best parent I want to devote my time to the kids and impart my Disney love to them too

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

M

I'm so relieved to find this thread and to hear you guys saying so many things that I've already been thinking. I've been divorced for almost three years now and haven't been on a date yet. Nor do i think I want to because of reasons you all have already listed. I'm too busy when I have my kids and too tired when I don't. But I feel so much better knowing I'm not alone!

Awww you are definitely in good company. Welcome to the group!

 

[MommyMeNDisney]

I'm a single mom who discovered Disney when I took my baby girl 5 years ago (she was 3) I've ventured into dating a few times and had the horror stories (getting pulled over b/c cops in my town knew the guy on sight for his multiple warrants :s) or guys do not understand my baby comes first. I have her 100% of the time so no "every other weekend" and I am very adamant that I am the one who puts my daughter to bed and is there when she wakes up 99% of the time. If I date someone with out children they want me to come out and drink or "party" and I'm an in bed by 11 type of girl the two I dated with children we found really quick our parenting styles were different. They didn't ever want to say no to their child for the small town they had them. And I found I had rules for my child and they had none for theirs. One b/f we took our kids to Disney and it was a disaster!!! He had no boundaries for his girl and I had for my daughterz. It then started his daughter started to make rules for my daughter too :s it was rough. I'm 32 and I think I'm happy single. I like my Disney trips (and don't want the issue of "Disney again" ) plus I've taken in custody of my nephew (new born) and it's a sticky mess, the one guy I was talking to when it happened said it was very off putting so I think to be the best parent I want to devote my time to the kids and impart my Disney love to them too

I understand. I was just saying that, even if I meet a guy and things get serious, I think I'm going to keep Disney as my special time with DS. That will be our special time for just us.

 

[mum&son]

Single mum 51 with a 15 year old son no interest in dating but live in hope of a wonderful man appearing in my life for my retirement

 

[wench]

No dating for me--that last husband of mine really did a number on me, and I have no interest in dating at all at this point! I've been divorced for over 10 years, and I'm happy with my life right now. I'm 52 with a 13 year old at home--not the kind of package that men are interested in anyways, and I'm cool with it.

I couldn't agree more. After my first marriage, which will remain my last, I have never had a desire to seek out another relationship. It's been 9 years for me & I'm happy just having things be me & DS11. I suppose there is always the remote possibility I could meet someone some day that changed my mind, but I really doubt it. Trust comes very hard to me these days.

 

[milza26]

Gosh you guys! I feel like we need a support group or write a book on our experiences. I am 30 and never married with an amazing 9 year old son. I tried several different options and discovered it is hard to date because yes I am single but I have responsibilities that come first. I refuse to give up hope though! I feel one day I will meet the right man.