Should I take my 10 yr old son in the ladies restroom?

[Mickey's Sister]

Do what ever you want with your kids - and I don't really care if you think I am inconsiderate....I am just doing what I feel I need to do. I bet the aunt in CA wishes she had used the ladies room. Even if the odds are small....these sickos love places where kid congregate...and guess what- being a child predator is not limited to people who are poor. There are many child predators that can very well afford a Disney trip and may even have families....Do know how many rich men that are pillars of their community have been arrested for these type of crimes...you don't seem very knowledgable about this. I agree the odds are slim....but you know we have smoke detectors for house fires and helmets for the kids riding bikes and seatbelts in cars....even with my caution something could happen, but at least I feel like I did something to avoid tradgedy.....

Why exactly in a bathroom with stalls does it bother you if a 10 year old boy comes in and goes right into a stall? Just mind your own darn business. It is not hurting you.

Hear Hear!!!!

We are truly a country of prudes if we are uncomfortable in a closed stall with a little boy outside with his mom. Every living creature in the world expells waste. Acting as though we are doing something indecent or unnusual just makes no sense.

 

[hsmamato2]

Yes! If you're uncomfortable in any way- bring him with you- it only takes 1 minute for something to happen, and yes, there sick people who watch carefully,and target and plan for unattended kids, especially in airports and malls. There are doors on stallsin the ladies room, and nothing to see. if my kid wants to go to a public mens room, and i feel ok about it, i will stand IN the doorway, with my foot propping it open ,and if I can't see directly,(I DON"T want a peep show) will call in to talk to him while he's peeing. This puts anyone in there on alert that my kid is not unattended, and the men coming in and out usually smile at me, maybe they're parents also- they know I'm not trying to peek, just keeping my kid as safe as possible.
Read the book"The Gift of Fear" by Gavin De becker, you'll never second guess any safety decisions for your family again. All that matters is your kids safety at all times, not what others opinions are.

 

[Fredd's Girl]

So for those of you who would ABSOLUTELY bring your 10 year old into the ladies room, what is the cutoff age? I mean, is it still ok when they are 13, 14?? What if your 14 year old is 'small for his age'????

Exactly! This question has been asked several times and no one will answer it. If 10 is OK, when does it stop?

 

[hsmamato2]

This was definitely one of the most famous bathroom murders in our history. I remember it well.

A quick search came up with THIS: The boy's story is on page two. Very interesting article on the subject of when boys should go in men's rooms alone.



Sorry so graphic but it's very relevent to this subject.

I do think there should be a limit to the age a child goes into the opposite sex's bathroom, IMHO, its about 10.

That is the story i read as a teen- it has never left my head, all the details, this has since guided my decisions, not on fear, but on common sense- this stuff does happen. I don't care if it's rare, what does that matter if it's my kid who ends up ruined or worse b/c I thought it wasn't a big chance?

 

[my4kids]

Exactly! This question has been asked several times and no one will answer it. If 10 is OK, when does it stop?

I can't answer this yet because my oldest is only 10, but when I do feel comfortable I will let you know. I just know that right now I feel that he is young enough and small enough and innocent enough that something bad could happen if he was in the wrong bathroom at the wrong time....I'm sure I will know the cutoff when I am confortable that he can take care of himself. Just like I knew when he was old enough to leave the crib, the highchair etc. The boy does not even know what sex is yet - why on earth would anyone think he is mature enough to protect himself against an adult predator????

And again - how exactly have you been hurt by any young boys with their mothers in bathrooms? You are just being opinionated if it bothers you.

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

No one was ever waiting for one when we used them...and I need to remind everyone that handicapped bathrooms are "handicap accessible" unless posted as "handicapped only" they are not like parking spots. they are there for handicapped people to use but are not suppsed to sit empty until a handicapped person happens along.
And guess what - I have a handicapped person in a wheelchair in my family so don't tell me what these families would tell me. Yes, I would be ticked off if someone parked in a handicapped only spot (you don't know how long a car will be there) but it does not bother me to wait with a wheelchair for a bathroom stall for 60 seconds. And since when does "companion" only mean handicapped people with companions. If I feel my son needs a companion, I'm going to the companion bathroom. Unless I see a sign that says handicapped only...I'm in there.

By the way, I'm guessing you DS is very young, talk to me when he is 10.
I think I probably felt more like you when mine was a little guy....because you think these "big looking kids" are grown up compared to your little guy. When your son is 10 you feel just the same about them as when they were 2 or 3. They are just physically bigger.

I don't know if I'm reading this wrong, but I'm sensing some hostility. My DH uses an electric wheelchair on a daily basis and I have to assist him in public restrooms, so I am greatful for the companion restrooms at WDW. That is actually what the companion restrooms are for. That said, I also have a 9 year old son and if I was concerned about his safety in any given situation I would take him to one of these restrooms if no one was waiting. If it's just sitting empty - someone might as well use it. However, if a disabled person is waiting and they are physically unable to go to the regular restroom, that should be considered. Some people who use wheelchairs, like my DH, do not have good muscle control and they need to get in there fast.

 

[LOLA2]

Hear Hear!!!!

We are truly a country of prudes if we are uncomfortable in a closed stall with a little boy outside with his mom. Every living creature in the world expells waste. Acting as though we are doing something indecent or unnusual just makes no sense.

Get the picture

 

[Boncho]

I agree with "my4kids"
I couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[my4kids]

I don't know if I'm reading this wrong, but I'm sensing some hostility. My DH uses an electric wheelchair on a daily basis and I have to assist him in public restrooms, so I am greatful for the companion restrooms at WDW. That is actually what the companion restrooms are for. That said, I also have a 9 year old son and if I was concerned about his safety in any given situation I would take him to one of these restrooms if no one was waiting. If it's just sitting empty - someone might as well use it. However, if a disabled person is waiting and they are physically unable to go to the regular restroom, that should be considered. Some people who use wheelchairs, like my DH, do not have good muscle control and they need to get in there fast.

Yeah, I guess I am a little hostile on this subject....I guess it just comes down to young child could be hurt because I'm afraid someone could be bothered or people just look the other way when my son runs into a stall. It is an easy choice for me. Absolutley- of course I would make my son wait for a hadicapped person to go first at a comanion bathroom. My handicapped nephew also has muscle control problems...but like you said- if no one is there who does it hurt?

 

[lclark0621]

By the way, I'm guessing you DS is very young, talk to me when he is 10.
I think I probably felt more like you when mine was a little guy....because you think these "big looking kids" are grown up compared to your little guy. When your son is 10 you feel just the same about them as when they were 2 or 3. They are just physically bigger.

Um...I am one of the people who thinks a boy should go into the Ladies Room WITH his mother until both Mother & Child are comfortable letting him go alone in the men's room.

I think it is crazy to send a boy into a potentially dangerous situation because a few women or girls are "uncomfortable".

I was saying INSTEAD of using the compaion restrooms only because some people are "uncomfortable with a boy's pressence in the Ladies Room", they SHOULD use the Ladies room with their Mom, and save those Companion bathrooms for those who really need it.

So back off a bit...

 

[mjkaferle5]

I think it's creepy...but that's just me, and then the boys stare...while you're washing your hands and stuff. I took my 8 year old, nephew to WDW and waited outside the door.

Wow that must be killer having a 10-year old boy stare at you while you wash your hands! I could never do it!

Boys aren't likely to see anything in the women's room to embarass them! Girls, on the other hand, might see a little too much in the men's room with the urinals and all!

 

[Biscuitsmom31]

Yeah, I guess I am a little hostile on this subject....I guess it just comes down to young child could be hurt because I'm afraid someone could be bothered or people just look the other way when my son runs into a stall. It is an easy choice for me. Absolutley- of course I would make my son wait for a hadicapped person to go first at a comanion bathroom. My handicapped nephew also has muscle control problems...but like you said- if no one is there who does it hurt?

Noone!

I agree that it's a hard call to make when it comes to kids and safety. The murder of that adorable little girl here in Oklahoma, only minutes away from where I live, has gotten me all worked up. How could anyone do that to a child? I have always let my 9 year old son and my 8 year old daughters play in our fenced back yard without worrying. Now, I'm worried that my neighbors might be cannibals.

I think you have to get to a point where you realize you can't protect your kids 24/7 but you do the best you can, and say a lot of prayers. It's a fine line to walk between stunting your kids' social growth and protecting them.

 

[my4kids]

Um...I am one of the people who thinks a boy should go into the Ladies Room WITH his mother until both Mother & Child are comfortable letting him go alone in the men's room.

I think it is crazy to send a boy into a potentially dangerous situation because a few women or girls are "uncomfortable".

I was saying INSTEAD of using the compaion restrooms only because some people are "uncomfortable with a boy's pressence in the Ladies Room", they SHOULD use the Ladies room with their Mom, and save those Companion bathrooms for those who really need it.

So back off a bit...

Sorry I read you post fast and took it the wrong way....I guess it is sorta sad that because of some people that give me nasty looks I will walk very far to a companion bathroom...

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

How old is too old? I think in the absence of any official regulation (and it's not against any laws is it?) - it's going to be up to the parents.

There are kids with special needs, whether obvious or not. There are parents that feel they need to do it - so I would say DIS posters are likely to experience it once in a while. I'm kinda surprised it's such a big deal. I don't think I'd feel uncomfortable until perhaps the kid is bigger than me AND not with a supervising parent. But even then I'd step back out, wait until the male left or I'd find another bathroom. That wouldn't even be a blimp in my day. I'd do the same if there's any half dressed or bare naked ladies in there - not my thing.

Now, I once had to go quite badly while in the Louvre in Paris and was quite surprised to encounter my first communal bathroom. Kids don't bother me but I just couldn't "go" with adult men. That 's my culture bias showing 'cause people there didn't think anything of it. I waited until we got back to the pyramid area where there were gender bathrooms. Still, I think that it's funny - just how easy for them, how hard for me. Nothing to get worked up about.

I'm still gonna use companion bathrooms when available and I'm gonna get a cheap walkie for DS next trip (he refuses to go to ladies room) but I'm still going to closely supervise him and not care if boys do come into a ladies room.

 

[loriandmatt]

ya know - i replied to this thread early on and my reposnse was not so well recieved. this topic bothered me.

i was questioning if my ideals on this were naive - was what i was teaching my son and allowing him to go into public restrooms alone, the wrong stance? - with me outside the door and yell in for him if it seems to be taking too long. or having him wait outside the ladies room and moving as quickly as possible to get back to him - even leaving the restroom before i have gone if the line is just way too long....all the while teaching him to be aware of everyone around him and to "sound the alarm" if need be and even to fight like crazy if touched or attacked. Was i taking the wrong approach?

i had a very heartfelt conversation with my son about this. was he affraid? did he feel comfortable with what i had taught him and how we did this? would he rather come in with me? I tried my best not to bait him.

OUR CONVERSATION:
he said that under no circumstances would he prefer to come in the ladies room with me. "Why? Don't you want us old ladies looking at you or don't you want to look at us?" "i could care less about that, but mom, girls my own age are in there - i don't want to look like a weenie." (logic from an 11 YO mind.) "OK - but saftey is more important than looking like a weenie." "Yea, i know, but i like that you trust me enough to look out for myself." "But, have you ever been scared in there by yourself, or outside waiting for me?" "not so much scared, but aware. I notice people more- i try and keep my eye on everyone and notice if what they are doing is strange or not." "And have you ever seen anything that made you run out of there?" "No, but there were a few times that i did what i had to do and got out of there PDQ because i didn't feel comfortable" "So uncomfortable that you would rather have come into the ladies room with me?" "no" "So are you cool with the way we do things now - do you feel safe enough?" "Yep" "And if there ever is a time when you don't feel safe enough, you'll let me know and we will figure something out so you can go and feel safe?" "Yep, can you make me some popcorn chicken now?"

I am reaffirmed that i am doing things the right way for me and my family. if others choose to do it differently and that is right for them - what ever works.

I feel i am arming my son to be an aware and alert young man who can take care of himself in this big scary world - but not to be afraid of his own shadow when he is forced to be alone with it. I feel that after a certain point in a childs life, that becomes one of our (parents) main objectives. (granted that point is different for every child/parent/family)

- lori

 

[DizBelle]

If you do take your male child into the ladies room, please instruct them or monitor them on the use of the facilities. I was in a ladies room, waiting in line, and out of the next stall that came available came a boy about 10 or 11 years old. Apparently he had no clue what he was doing. There was urine all over the seat and he had not flushed. I'm guessing that he didn't know how to flush the toilet because it was an auto-flush variety but since he didn't sit down, the sensors didn't know that it had to flush the toilet. If you're going to take him in there, you are responsible for him.

I know when I take my 17 year old son into the ladies room, I make sure he knows how to leave the facilities. I know what you're going to say but I just don't feel comfortable letting him go into the men's room by himself. And since I'm not confortable with it, he's coming with me into the ladies room. Curiously, though, he has no objections to it.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

My son is 7 and it varies from place to place as to whether he goes by himself or comes with me. I'm more likely to let him go if it's either a crowded restroom (more eyes, less likely for someone to try something) or a single restroom. I stand outside the whole time. I'm sure by age 10 I'll let him go by himself everywhere.

The bigger issue for me however is what do I have do when I have to use the restroom. I'm more comfortable with him in a room with one exit (while I monitor the exit) than I am with him alone on a park bench outside the ladies' room door. As much as I can I try to avoid those situations, but otherwise I still bring him in with me.

One thing I'd watch out for as WDW is bathrooms with multiple exits. I have heard that there are some of those, but frankly didn't notice any -- does anyone know if there are some?

 

[bamajill]

I know when I take my 17 year old son into the ladies room, I make sure he knows how to leave the facilities. I know what you're going to say but I just don't feel comfortable letting him go into the men's room by himself. And since I'm not confortable with it, he's coming with me into the ladies room. Curiously, though, he has no objections to it.

I understand....he's just small for his age, I'm sure. And why should anyone care? There are doors on all the stalls so what's the big deal?

 

[my4kids]

Oh my goddness! - I swear that I just left this conversation to go make lunch and on channel 11 in Baltimore there was a report that a man was arrested yesterday in Westminster Md at a Ruby Tues. restaurant for forcing a 7 year old boy into a bathroom stall and molesting him while the Dad was right outside at his table. The man then tried to take a picture of him with a camera phone and the boy refused - he let him go. The boy immediatly told his Dad when he left the bathroom and the man was caught......



here is the web link....

http://www.thewbalchannel.com/news/8846922/detail.html

read this!!!!!

Do what ever you want people, just look the other way when my boy comes into the bathroom with me.

 

[loriandmatt]

I know when I take my 17 year old son into the ladies room, I make sure he knows how to leave the facilities. I know what you're going to say but I just don't feel comfortable letting him go into the men's room by himself. And since I'm not confortable with it, he's coming with me into the ladies room. Curiously, though, he has no objections to it.

(ok - so now i know that i am not the only one here with a sick humor - loved it!!!!)

- lori