Should I take my 10 yr old son in the ladies restroom?

[bamajill]

I have agreed 100% with every one of your posts, within this thread.

I also cannot believe how *worked up* someone would get about their child using the opposite sex facilities so the parent could keep and eye on their safety.

Good Lord people.... talk about uptight.

Well, is it more 'uptight' to think 10 year olds should be able to use the restroom by themselves or is it more uptight to think if they venture into the bathroom alone they will be molested/killed/kidnapped?

 

[beattyfamily]

Let me see. The murderer could have gone into the ladies room and when the two of them entered, could have murderer both of them. Where is the link to list "story". How did the murderer not have blood on him?

This was definitely one of the most famous bathroom murders in our history. I remember it well.

A quick search came up with THIS: The boy's story is on page two. Very interesting article on the subject of when boys should go in men's rooms alone.

Nine-year-old Matthew Cecchi was murdered by a 20-year-old transient in a Southern California beachside bathroom while attending a family reunion. Matthew's murderer, who was arrested within minutes after running out of the bathroom where Matthew was bleeding to death, his throat slashed from ear to ear, confessed that he was looking for an easily subdued victim when he settled on Matthew; the circumstances of the killing -- considered murder by ambush and torture -- may lead prosecutors to seek the death penalty.

Sorry so graphic but it's very relevent to this subject.

I do think there should be a limit to the age a child goes into the opposite sex's bathroom, IMHO, its about 10.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

mickeyfan2 - you sound skeptical but that story of the boy being killed while he aunt was outside is true. It's actually cited every so often here on the Dis, I think some of us remember it because it's a parent's worse nightmare. I am trying to find the story link but it was in 1998 so pretty old. Here's mention of it in this article about the dealth penalty:
http://crossword.uniontrib.com/news/metro/danielle/20020901-9999_1n1nodeath.html
"Mark Lamph, a family friend of Matthew Cecchi, a 9-year-old Northern California boy whose throat was slit in an Oceanside bathroom in 1998, said he supported the death penalty for the boy's convicted killer."

Oh, here's the article:

http://www.cnn.com/US/9811/16/boy.killed.02/



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suspect arrested in case of boy killed in public bathroom
November 16, 1998
Web posted at: 9:04 p.m. EST (0204 GMT)

OCEANSIDE, California (CNN) -- A 20-year-old man is being held on suspicion of murder in the death of a 9-year-old boy whose throat was slashed in a public restroom Saturday night.

The boy, Matthew Cecchi, was killed while his aunt waited outside the toilet, just steps from the family campsite in this town about 40 miles north of San Diego.

The suspect, Brandon Wilson of St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin, is a transient who has prior drug arrests, according to Oceanside Police Lt. Dave Herring.

"We're confident we have the right suspect," Herring said. He said Wilson was cooperating with investigators and had given them information that only the killer would know.

"He has made statements concerning and connecting him to this incident here in Oceanside," Herring said.

Wilson was arrested by Los Angeles police Monday while they were investigating the robbery and stabbing of a 40-year-old woman in Hollywood, according to Herring. The victim was hospitalized in stable condition.

A knife believed to have been used to kill Cecchi was recovered by Los Angeles police and is being examined by Oceanside investigators.

The boy and his family had been attending a reunion at a paid camping area at the beach at Oceanside Harbor. His aunt escorted him to the public toilet, just steps away from his family campsite, said Sgt. Tom Bussey of the Oceanside Police Department.

As the aunt waited outside, she saw a person she described as a teen-ager enter the restroom, according to police. A few minutes later the teen-ager came out, and the aunt became worried about her nephew.

She told police she went into the men's room and found Matthew on the floor, bleeding from an ear-to-ear slash across his throat.

Sgt. Tom Aguigui said the aunt and several bystanders tried unsuccessfully to revive the boy and stop the bleeding, but he died at the scene.

Investigators have no motive for the killing, Oceanside Police spokeswoman Jennifer Cundiff said. Police are awaiting test results on blood, fingerprints, hairs and fibers found at the scene.

The boy's father, Louis Cecchi, suffers from leukemia and did not attend the reunion. He was notified of his son's death by an uncle of the victim.

"He was my best friend," Cecchi said about Matthew from his home in Oroville. "He actually was my best friend."

Cecchi described his young son as an A student and a big baseball fan. Ironically, Cecchi and his wife Sharon moved from Anaheim to the small Northern California town of Oroville 10 years ago to escape urban problems.

Cecchi said they wanted "to get away from the crime, the congestion, the pollution -- so we could give our kids a better life."

Now, the Cecchis must explain Matthew's death to his 3-year-old brother.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

beattyfamily - you beat me to it. So horrible but this is the kind of thing that although I realize is rare, it chills me to the bone.

 

[beattyfamily]

beattyfamily - you beat me to it. So horrible but this is the kind of thing that although I realize is rare, it chills me to the bone.

I just wanted to help out! Seemed like someone didn't believe you. I knew that story well. Very sad.

I really feel for single parents of an opposite sex child with this restroom issue.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

Thanks. I remember that story well too because at the time we didn't live all that far from Oceanside.

I recommend you all use beattyfamily's link above and read that article. Thanks for that too - very interesting, and sad. Better to be informed though.

 

[mickeyfan2]

I just never heard it and a man with a knife could have killed the aunt and boy both. What stopped him from walking into the ladies room and killing the boy, aunt or both?

 

[lclark0621]

And you respect the feelings of others.
think about everyone instead of just yourself and go a little out of your way to respect others. You'll be the bigger person.

Um...Would anyone send their daughters/grandaughters into a potentionally dangerous situation because I was uncomfortable with their pressence anywhere?

Moms of girls, think about their safety. Moms of boys, think about their safety.

And frankly a child's safety is more important then a grown woman's, or even a preteen/teen girls comfort level.

 

[momandseandodisney]

I take my DS8 in with me ALWAYS
I joke with him I will be doing it until he is 20 lol

but no seriously, I say 10 is fine to still take him with you.

Mine is not a matter of what is going to happen if he was in the boys bathroom alone, but I like to know where my kid is!

I have let him go a few times byhimself in less corwded places, but if he "takes too long" I have no problem with going in to get him and I have.

I think it is better to have a 8-10 year old boy in the girls bathroom, then a crazy mama looking for her kid in the men's washroom

NO?

 

[csmommy]

What a tragic & senseless act.

This, however, I do not feel is the same thing. You find me an empty Disney bathroom that this could happen in. Yes, you need to be safe & sensible. The poor Aunt thought that since the bathroom was empty he was safe. I have been in Department stores where the bathroom was empty when me son went in, but someone went in after. When that happened I would stand outside ofthe bathroom & talk to my son. Telling him to hurry up we needed to be somewhere.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

I just never heard it and a man with a knife could have killed the aunt and boy both. What stopped him from walking into the ladies room and killing the boy, aunt or both?

That could have very well happened, you just never know. But as some others have mentioned I think often these people attack others they feel are vulnerable, the safety in numbers thing you know?

Twice in recent years I've been driving my little sportscar by myself and had men alone in their cars obviously following me. I mean every little turn I made, one of them making sexual gestures. With one I turned into a crowded parking lot and he continued to follow me. The other I was on an interstate. Guess what got rid of both of them? Me pulling my cell phone up where they could see it and yes I was about to dial for help. They both took off just as fast as they could. I couldn't even get the license plate 'cause I would've reported them. I think they saw - woman alone, no threat. Oh, she can get help - now who has the power?, and they were out of there. Young kid alone - seen as pretty much not a threat to predator.

 

[jann1033]

I just never heard it and a man with a knife could have killed the aunt and boy both. What stopped him from walking into the ladies room and killing the boy, aunt or both?

tragic account but you make a good point since he later stabbed someone else

 

[Hannathy]

And just how many transients are paying 60 bucks to get into Disney? or paying for a ticket and getting past security at an airport with a knife? Please think about this rationally how many people use public restrooms daily and how many are bothered? These statistics even make the odds for MS seem plausible. I still think taking a 10 yr old into a restroom of the opposite sex is wrong and inconsiderate. A handful of cases scattered across this entire country are not enough to change my mind. Based on this my kids should never walk across a street, ride a bike, ride the school bus, play ball or even sleep in their room 'cause kids die in house fires all the time. There is caution and then there is being paranoid and way overprotective.

 

[my4kids]

Disney has family bathrooms. Newer stadiums and public places are all putting these in. I will walk very far to get my 10 year old son to one. They are single toilet rooms that are handicap accessible. These are becoming neccesary in todays world not only for all of the scarey reasons previously noted, but because of how many single parent families there are. My friend is a divorced Dad of a 3 year old daughter. When he has her for the weekend and wants to take her to the zoo or an event , he often has to take his elderly mother along just in case the child needs to use a bathroom. This is exactly what a family bathroom is for. My husband has season tickets to our local football team, and always had to take one of our sons and not our daughter because her could not have taken her to the potty. It seemed really unfair that she could not go with her Daddy just for this reason. When the new stadium was built they put in family bathrooms and it has solved this problem. We emailed the stadium about their locatin and they sent us a list of the locations. Problem solved.

If I am somewhere where I do not have access to a family bathroom, I don't give a crap what anyone thinks. I will take my 10 year old into the ladies room for a while to come. I read an article that a child predators prefered age for boys is 9-13. Even if the kid is not submissive, it takes a second for someone to flash, say something innappropriate, grab. I know the odds might be small, but guess what, it ain't gonna be my kid if/when it does happen. I try to be as polite to others in the restroom as I can, by trying to wait until there is no one in there, or if it is very crouded, I wait in line and he stand near the door and when a stall becomes available, I call to him and he slips in real quick. I also do this to try and limit his embarrassment. He does not like it, but I tell him I just love him too much to take a chance, he understands.

I let him use the mens room at our neighborhood pool - but even then I watch the door let him go in and see if anyone is in there first, if there is not I watch the door, if anyone goes in that I don't know I am right at the door yelling "How's it going - are you almost done...." I swear if I didn't hear him respond or if there was a delay, or he sounded different or if it took if too long to come out...I would be right in there.

I have taught all my kids that the only 2 things that are aprropriate in the bathroom are using the toilet and washing your hands. If anything besides those 2 things are going on in there get the heck out. It is not a place to talk to anyone make eye contact with anyone goof off, etc.

 

[lclark0621]

Disney has family bathrooms.

Actually Disney has COMPANION BATHROOMS. And I am pretty sure, most people who need these bathrooms because of disabilities, or have a loved one who needs to use them, will ask you NOT to use these bathrooms unless it is absolutly neccesary.

Disney has very few companion bathrooms. These bathrooms should be reserved for those who actually NEED to use them. Not just to keep some people from feeling "uncomfortable" because a mother is trying to keep her DS safe by bringing him into the Ladies Room.

But the companion/family bathroom thing is a whole nother debate that comes up every so often on the DIS to.

 

[Mickey's Sister]

I just never heard it and a man with a knife could have killed the aunt and boy both. What stopped him from walking into the ladies room and killing the boy, aunt or both?

A guy walking into the ladies room, even at the beach, would likely attract some attention. However, he can nonchalantly stroll into the mens room & hide in there. No one is going to notice or time him. Plus, even if a killer would be in the ladies room, it's a lot safer if there are 2 people going in, especially if one is an adult. That child alone is vulnerable - period - no matter how well trained he is.

My son was a cub scout through Webelos & I still serve on our pack committee. Do you know that it is the rule - in stone - that no scout EVER goes anywhere - particularly the restroom - without a buddy (a fellow scout of their own age). These are boys through Webelos scout who are 11 years old! This is at camp, field trips, whatever. So even scouting acknowledges the danger!

Jessica

 

[LOLA2]

And just how many transients are paying 60 bucks to get into Disney? or paying for a ticket and getting past security at an airport with a knife? Please think about this rationally how many people use public restrooms daily and how many are bothered? These statistics even make the odds for MS seem plausible. I still think taking a 10 yr old into a restroom of the opposite sex is wrong and inconsiderate. A handful of cases scattered across this entire country are not enough to change my mind. Based on this my kids should never walk across a street, ride a bike, ride the school bus, play ball or even sleep in their room 'cause kids die in house fires all the time. There is caution and then there is being paranoid and way overprotective.

1) Many people of different income brackerts, and backrounds go to Disney, you don't think there are any weirdos at Disney?

2)You don't need a knife to rape or molest someone.

3) Thank God the number of people using bathrooms and the number of people being bothered is not comparable, but did you read the artilcle of 1 in 4 kids being molested?

4) I let my kids go outside and do all that (with a watchful eye) but I don't have hundreds of people swarming my cul de sac either. If I did then I guess your right he wouldn't be going outside.

 

[my4kids]

And just how many transients are paying 60 bucks to get into Disney? or paying for a ticket and getting past security at an airport with a knife? Please think about this rationally how many people use public restrooms daily and how many are bothered? These statistics even make the odds for MS seem plausible. I still think taking a 10 yr old into a restroom of the opposite sex is wrong and inconsiderate. A handful of cases scattered across this entire country are not enough to change my mind. Based on this my kids should never walk across a street, ride a bike, ride the school bus, play ball or even sleep in their room 'cause kids die in house fires all the time. There is caution and then there is being paranoid and way overprotective.

Do what ever you want with your kids - and I don't really care if you think I am inconsiderate....I am just doing what I feel I need to do. I bet the aunt in CA wishes she had used the ladies room. Even if the odds are small....these sickos love places where kid congregate...and guess what- being a child predator is not limited to people who are poor. There are many child predators that can very well afford a Disney trip and may even have families....Do know how many rich men that are pillars of their community have been arrested for these type of crimes...you don't seem very knowledgable about this. I agree the odds are slim....but you know we have smoke detectors for house fires and helmets for the kids riding bikes and seatbelts in cars....even with my caution something could happen, but at least I feel like I did something to avoid tradgedy.....

Why exactly in a bathroom with stalls does it bother you if a 10 year old boy comes in and goes right into a stall? Just mind your own darn business. It is not hurting you.

 

[my4kids]

Actually Disney has COMPANION BATHROOMS. And I am pretty sure, most people who need these bathrooms because of disabilities, or have a loved one who needs to use them, will ask you NOT to use these bathrooms unless it is absolutly neccesary.

Disney has very few companion bathrooms. These bathrooms should be reserved for those who actually NEED to use them. Not just to keep some people from feeling "uncomfortable" because a mother is trying to keep her DS safe by bringing him into the Ladies Room.

But the companion/family bathroom thing is a whole nother debate that comes up every so often on the DIS to.

No one was ever waiting for one when we used them...and I need to remind everyone that handicapped bathrooms are "handicap accessible" unless posted as "handicapped only" they are not like parking spots. they are there for handicapped people to use but are not suppsed to sit empty until a handicapped person happens along.
And guess what - I have a handicapped person in a wheelchair in my family so don't tell me what these families would tell me. Yes, I would be ticked off if someone parked in a handicapped only spot (you don't know how long a car will be there) but it does not bother me to wait with a wheelchair for a bathroom stall for 60 seconds. And since when does "companion" only mean handicapped people with companions. If I feel my son needs a companion, I'm going to the companion bathroom. Unless I see a sign that says handicapped only...I'm in there.

By the way, I'm guessing you DS is very young, talk to me when he is 10.
I think I probably felt more like you when mine was a little guy....because you think these "big looking kids" are grown up compared to your little guy. When your son is 10 you feel just the same about them as when they were 2 or 3. They are just physically bigger.

 

[jann1033]

A guy walking into the ladies room, even at the beach, would likely attract some attention. However, he can nonchalantly stroll into the mens room & hide in there. No one is going to notice or time him.

Jessica

when i read that account the first thing i thought of was how easy it would be for anyone to go into any rest room at the beach where we live...it creeps me out using them alone as usually there is no one else around...due to the nature imo of a beach it's spread out. at our beach, the rrs are all along the paths leading to the parking lot and you have to walk across the whole beach area to get to the bath room and of course most people are on the beach not in the parking lot and there are only 1 or 2 stalls in each little rr area. most nature parks in our area i can think of are set up pretty much the same

so i do feel lots less safe there than i would at someplace like disney where people are constantly coming and going..( or like some mentioned, you'd have to get a weapon past security first)

i have noticed however some newer more desolate bathrooms have a lock on the outer door also so you could lock that and the stall. ( i have done that before)good to know as pp have said, the building community is aware and some are trying to make better arrangements.